Chapter 62

This time Asuka didn't waste a second. As soon as the Angel hit the ground from her latest body slam, she pinned it with her knees and ripped open its chest with the progressive knife she had taken from Unit-02's shoulder a split second before.

And then the core was left exposed.

Releasing a single scream filled with all the anger and hatred she'd bottled up over the past months, Asuka buried the vibrating knife into the dark blood-colored sphere that was the Angel's core. It did not collapse as she had expected. Instead, the knife's sonic waves began to spark on contact with the core's hardened molecules, but still the edge didn't penetrate. Asuka pressed the knife harder, shifting her body forward to place more of Unit-02's weight on the blade.

"Die, dammit!"

The sparks flared into a raging fire, quickly burning the Eva's hands. Asuka pushed aside the pain, transmitted to her own hands by the nerve connection with Unit-02, and placed all her strength on the progressive knife. She held it so tightly that her knuckles began to hurt, the handle cutting into her palms.

"Fifteen seconds," Misato called out unnecessarily. Asuka could see the clock displayed in front of her.

The Second Child leaned her body fully forward so that she was practically bent over on her seat, pushing as hard as she could on her control yokes. Now the entire weight of the Eva was placed on the knife. It would either cut through the core or break the blade.

"Ten. Asuka, get rid of it. We'll launch it to the outside"

"NO!" Asuka yelled, shaking her head and gritting her teeth. "It's mine!" she growled. "I will kill it!"

"It's not worth the danger, Asuka!"

"Four!" Asuka began counting to herself, pushing desperately on the control yokes, trying to transfer as much of her own strength through the Eva. Her pretty face twisted into a vicious snarl, blue eyes filled with fury. She was more a warrior blinded by bloodlust than a teenage girl now, a beast in her own right. Anger drove her. Hate. Pain. "Three, come on!"

"Please, Asuka, you don't have to sacrifice everyone's lives for your—"

"Two!"

The core began to crack.

Asuka pushed the knife deeper into the sphere, hoping, praying she would not die with it. But as she counted the final number in her mind, she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the end, only vaguely aware that she might have just killed everyone who had ever shown her kindness since coming to Japan.

"One!"

The explosion she expected never came. Instead there was silence, interrupted only by the buzzing sound of the knife's sonic blade.

Silence.

The core imploded in a bubbling tsunami of blood. A moment later, the progressive knife snapped and shattered.

Slowly, Asuka half-opened her eyes. She peered outside cautiously, and then every muscle of her body relaxed as she realized that the Angel's core had been crushed. Unit-02's hands smoldered, but other than that it sustained little damage.

"The energy concentration is dissipating," Hyouga reported in her ear, explaining the obvious. "Target has gone dark."

"It's dead," Misato added. Her voice sounded rather odd, tired. Some distant clapping and cheering could be heard in the background through the open channel. "That was too damn reckless, but you did it. You killed the Angel."

Asuka was stunned for a moment.

"I … did it." Little by little, the words sank in, and once they did the Second Child found herself smiling. Bright hot pride blossomed within her like it hadn't in months. It felt good. She glanced to her right, towards Unit-01. "I did it! Stupid Shinji, did you hear? I killed-"

Something cold and painful stabbed inside Asuka's chest, close to her heart. Her pride rapidly turned into worry. The smile faded.

Unit-01 lay slumped motionless several hundred feet away amidst the rubble piles, crumbled concrete blocks, electric cables, bent steel beams and other assorted debris from the holding cage structure. With its armor heavily battered and covered in countless dents and scrapes, the purple Evangelion looked as dead as the Angel. Some of the steel twisted around it like a giant hand, while the wall directly behind had buckled outward from the weight and pressure placed on it. A little more damage, perhaps even just one or two blows removing a few supports, and that entire section might have collapsed right on their heads. Yet despite the magnitude, such massive physical destruction was secondary. At the center of all that, locked inside his entry-plug, was a human being.

"What about Shinji?" Asuka asked, resisting the urge to move closer. He couldn't be seriously hurt. He just couldn't. If he was … the possibility made her feel like screaming.

"He's unconscious," Hyouga answered before her swirling emotions could spill over. "We are sending a medical team now. Unit-01 was deactivated just before it could run out of battery as a precaution. Shinji was already out when it happened."

"Are you sure?' Asuka insisted. "Maybe he-"

"We had his telemetry right until shutdown, and the internal life support is fully functional. There's no reason to think his status has changed. The medical team will confirm once they enter the entry-plug. Please return to your stand-by position in the meantime."

"Understood."

Straightening up, Asuka moved Unit-02 away from the defeated Angel crumpled like a broken skeleton at her feet, though only after kicking it one last time for good measure. The monstrous corpse jiggled for a couple of seconds then lay inert once more, its remaining wing extended towards the ceiling.

Less than a minute later, a retrieval crew of six entered the cage through an emergency hatchway and began making their way through the rubble towards Unit-01. All wore hazmat suits. They were soon followed by a larger contingent of technicians in orange coveralls, brown boots and white hardhats.

Asuka watched the crews move around. Then, as the leading elements vanished behind the nearest concrete pile, she looked down at her own plugsuited body.

It didn't make any sense. Had she passed out when the heavy ceiling collapsed on top of her and began hallucinating? Stress during the battle causing a reaction? No, that couldn't be right. It didn't feel right. The images and sounds had all been so real, like some kind of lucid dream that turned out not to be a dream; a technological miracle turning her deepest desire, to pilot Eva again, into reality.

Asuka pulled at her control sticks and Unit-02 moved its arm accordingly. She held her hands in front, palms turned up. They stung from the heat caused by the progressive knife, but the fact that she could feel this pain was, ironically, a positive sign. Her connection was solid. The Eva's hands were her hands. Like it should be.

"It really works," the redheaded girl told herself, not caring if Misato or anyone else was listening. "Mama, are you watching? It works. My Unit-02."

"Did you say something, Asuka?" Misato asked with noticeable concern, whatever ill feelings towards the disobedient recklessness of a moment before forgotten or delayed until she could offer a proper scolding in private rather than over an open channel. "Are you feeling alright? Injuries?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Asuka replied, then added in a more haughty tone, "Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

The question seemed like a stupid one at first glance, but as she returned to Unit-02's holding cradle along the cage wall, Asuka suddenly had the strange sense that something was very wrong. And the more she moved the more she noticed this sensation. Something was off all around her, as if the LCL itself had become heavier and colder than usual.

Thinking quickly, she checked the base settings on the central console between her knees and saw the temperature was the same she always kept by default. LCL Oxygenation was also normal. The filters were all working. Her plugsuit sensors showed green. Nothing had physically changed. But …

She raised a hand again, flexed her fingers. The image of a black tree rising from an endless ocean came to her mind. Words promising help. An alien touch through her plugsuit.

Asuka focused, trying to recall old emotions and memories so distant they seemed like they belonged to someone else, and she remembered that before, whenever she successfully synched with her Eva, she'd had the faint but soothing impression that something had been in there with her, watching over her, even protecting her.

Now it was gone.

As soon as she realized this, Asuka felt a deep sense of loss take hold in her heart, both powerful and confusing. It was like some important gift had slipped unseen through her outstretched fingers before she'd ever known what it was or that she had it in the first place. Like a missing childhood companion who left only the silence and gloom of the entry-plug in their absence.

But Asuka had long since grown used to losing things, and she was familiar with the dull, lingering ache and painful regret that came with it. Her whole life was knotted up by those feelings. Perhaps because of this, among other reasons, she found it surprisingly easy to push back. What even was there for her to feel badly about? She won the battle and lost nothing. Shinji was safe. The Eva worked again-her beautiful blood-red Unit-02, the most precious part of her. Wasn't that good enough? If she could have her Eva, then she didn't need anything else. She didn't need anyone. Just like she always wished.

Finding some comfort in that thought, the Second Child settled back into her seat again, nuzzling her slender body against the cushions. This was where she belonged; this was home. And she hoped that if she kept telling that to herself it might feel less empty.