Chapter one: Realizing

Before you came along, I was in a messed up place. Mostly like others, I was used, I was broken and shredded deeply inside. And just like most people, all I had to do was have a smile ready to laugh and a "I'm fine" whenever a person asked how I was doing. I kept everything locked up, not only from my "friends" but also my family. No one who held the key to open me up, because no one ever tried. It feels like when your drowning. In a ocean. Just by yourself. Trying to breathe in air when all you take is water. As the water fills your lungs up instead of oxygen you feel.... dissolved. You know in a second your going to be gone, but you can't help it but still reach out. You reach out when you know no one is there.m.. That's what it felt like to hold in everything. Just like how you try gasping for air. You just need one sign, so that you know you will be okay. The one who pushed you into the water is Life. Struggles, pain, and moments where we dont know what to do anymore. It was a routine I had everyday. Wake up from my bed, Brush my teeth, Get changed, Go eat, and go to school. After school [some people] to hang out with friends, or to do school activities. Then go home to do homework, and after I was done eat, go take a shower and sleep. The same thing over and over again. I was hooked on to me being myself. I was used to me giving up relationships and stopped trying to hard because the end result always left to me being the broken one instead of them..... but that all changed.