How I Met My Wife

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out. I plan to take care of you, not abandon you."

Those words from an ancient text played in my clouded mind as I stared at the black-haired man before me.

No emotion could be detected from either of our faces. We all knew it was not the time to be pompous.

Boom—!

After that loud explosion sound, the Vice Warden of this prison finally decided to open his mouth.

"Too bad. It seems you are going to die here alone."

With my hands in my pockets, I replied, "Same goes for you. Your death seems inevitable to me now."

Kaboom—!

Part of the ceiling fell down, trapping both of us at the far end of the hallway where the only source of light was Hein's red eyes.

With a calm mind, I took a seat against the rubble behind me and said, "I feel sorry for the Galactic Prison to lose such a valuable corrections officer like you. As for Encender and the others, they will only cry for a few days before forgetting about me and moving on. My role can be replaced."

"So is mine."

I knew he could answer like that.

"Hahaha....!" I let out a broken laughter as I realized how insane the person before me was.

'I do not wish to be buried here in this stinky prison, unlike this crazy Vice Warden. Unlike him, I have a promise to keep.'

"You and I are the same. We are both good at hypnotizing people. We both hate our families. We could have been best friends if we met under different circumstances."

As if you are a lost wolf trying to swim in the ocean.

Oblivious to the things going on in my head, Hein sits leaning against the prison walls as he says something I never thought he would say:

"Do you want to hear the story of how I ended up here?"

I know what you are going to say, bastard! "No thank you, I prefer to be shrouded by silence in my final moments."

Hein smiles. "Then tell me your story. I am sure it will be interesting. I am dying to know how you met your dead wife."

Then die! You will be doing me a huge favor if you do so!

"Haa..." I sighed, as memories of the past replaying in my unforgetting brain, "I guess it won't hurt to tell a dying soul."

"I am sure you won't regret it," Hein said with a sly voice that carried a lot of hidden intentions behind it.

Nevertheless, I just said what I wanted to say.

"Gene Brown once said:

"The one thing about being young is that you are not experienced enough to know what can't be done."

It was over ten years ago, a time when I could say I was a teenager, well, that is because at that time, I was already studying grade 12 staff.

I really believed in Nelson Mandela's saying:

"Education is the key to success."

In the big city of Rome, Italy, I found comfort in reading and stealing. Yes, I was a thief, maybe the best in all of Rome.

Not only that, but I was one hell of a lucky motherfucker.

I don't mean to brag, but I once stole a sedan car that was in the escort of the President of Russia.

What happened was really simple. It was February 6th when he came for the United National meeting that Italy was hosting because it was attacked by aliens.

The reason I am saying it was simple is that when all the president's cars were parked outside the Rome Great Synagogue as they pledged offerings.

I didn't have an ability at that time, but I was skilled in infiltration techniques.

The cars were parked in a closed garage that was guarded by armed soldiers from all countries, and to make it worse, there was only one entrance.

The armed soldiers were holding electronic rifles and submachine guns that use electricity to produce bullets, unlike using magazines.

These guns are charged before they are used, and they can last a fortnight of firing bullets without running low on battery.

However, as a crazy person, I had figured a way to make these guns malfunction. Well, you can say I hacked them.

Here is something you should all know:

As long as something has electricity, it can be hacked, even a nation's protection system.

Without any fear in my mind, I walked towards the entrance with my hands in my overcoat pockets, and in just a second, red dots were shrouding me.

Click... Click... Click...

The Earth Alliance soldiers hidden by their black uniforms were ready to pull the trigger but couldn't as they saw the bombs planted on my body.

Fakes, of course. I wasn't crazy enough to want to kill myself.

"The bombs on my body can destroy the whole city. Just one mistake and everything goes Kaboom! You all should l—!"

Pew—! Pew—! Pew—!

I couldn't finish my threat as the soldiers started firing their bullets mercilessly at me.

They would be fools if they believed that the bombs on my body could take down the whole of Rome.

However, unlike what they expected, their bullets, which were said to pierce through steel, didn't do anything to me.

The soldiers were stunned by this, but I knew why.

It is because nobody ever thought of making plastic and rubber clothes to fight the aliens. Well, such things would be useless against the solar flame thrower.

Electronic guns are useless against bad conductors of lightning. That's the malfunction of such a great product.

Realizing that their bullets couldn't do anything to me, the soldiers tried to take me using their hands, but that was a foolish thing to do as they all ended up lying flat on the ground after being kicked in the nuts.

After taking care of the Earth Alliance soldiers, cracking the password to the garage entrance was easy as fake smiling.

However, the moment my eyes laid upon the luxury black cars that filled the garage, a ten-year-old voice rang behind me.

"What are you doing, thief? Such skills would be used for the greater good of humankind."

Turning back, my face cringed as I commented on the girl's looks:

"How ugly."

That is how I first met my wife.