Chapter 53

“I would.”

He still didn’t answer, so I started to go. I couldn’t, though. “I sometimes wish I was blacker, just so you know. I…I know I can’t see the world exactly like you do, because when other people see me, they can’t see what I feel.” I turned back, but Cal was watching the vacuum cleaner pitch again, not me. “On the outside, I’m white to most of the world…some of it, at least. I know what’s inside me, though.” I thought of the Good & Plenty box again. “I get that doesn’t make me…”

“Black.”

“Yeah. But none of that has anything to do with Mathias and me…or you and me. It doesn’t.”

“Color has to do with everything.”

“Why? When will that stop?”

“Never.”

I wasn’t getting anywhere with the race stuff, so I changed direction. “We can talk sometime about you struggling with the idea of liking guys and girls, if you want.”

“Liking girls isn’t a struggle. I like girls, Reed. There’s no issue there, and the ones I get with aren’t a consolation prize.”