To love?

I take a step towards him and then..

It hurts. That crazy bastard Rilley! I lost my ballance as he grabbed my neck and pushed my head against the table. In the short time that it took Marcus to snap his hand off me I could only feel the room spinning around me. As I tried to stand up again I caught the glimps of Rilley's sword inches away from Marcus an knew right away that he was not going to dodge it...

"Enough!"

I block its way with my own body now. If all they mean really is to kill me, I'm giving them the perfect oportunity for the unfortunate accident. But the sword stops.

"Move, Highness, Rilley says calmly. I'll kill this insolent guard that sadly forgot his place and then we talk."

I feel lost but I don't make a move. Rilley does have the right to do it. But I won't let him. Not Marcus. Not any of my men.

"Well..?"

"Commander Rilley."

The deep voice of the regent makes everyone freeze. The tip of Rilley's weapon slowly goes down. I take a deep breath. My uncle saved Marcus, but will he save me?..

"Your suggestion is not bad. But even if her Highness were to successfully infiltrate the enemy lines, she has no experience in the field. What makes you think this would end better than past events?"

"It's simple", says Rilley, throwing his sword on the table and crossing his arms. "Instead of infiltrating the common troupes, she gets in the bed of general M. Everybody is aware that the old man is a ladykiller. So just screw up his mind and we're good."

I feel cold all of a sudden. Another round of laughter from lord Thomas. He smartly touches his long elegant hair while saying:

"What to do? The princess will never sacrifice as much as her virtue for a dangerous adventure like that.. not even for the sake of a crown.. no, I mean a war", he adds ironically.

Should I feel offended?.. For sure I am, but should I feel it? Am am allowed to, knowing very well that what he implies is true?

"No need to", answers commander Rilley grabbing my arm. "We can solve that.. here and now. I volunteer for the deed, so that there's nothing left to sacrifice when the time comes."

"What to do?" smiles lord Thomas playfully in the consternation that follows. "You've already been rejected before, poor Rilley.. Should you really put your reputation at risk once again..?"

For certain, no one but lord Thomas would speak up like that in front of the regent. An he clearly only does it because of the pleasure he finds in annoying Rilley. My arm hurts.. and I feel... so trapped and tired.

Rilley doesn't answer, but his grip tightens. He's probably holding himself back, waiting for the regent's answer. Everybody is.

"Maybe that is the best way, in the end.. What do you say, Logia?"

What.. he actually said that. Am I disappointed? I look at my uncle in silence. He is going to use me, after all. My brother has always been his favourite, and he still tried to control him all these years. I shouldn't have expected anything else. In the end, he doesn' t mean any harm. He's just too ambitious to consider other people's feelings. I should just yield. But my pride will simply not go with just one thing.

"Very well, uncle. I'll do it. On one condition. It's not gonna be Rilley. Anyone else will do."

And I violently break free from his arm.

Am I being serious? No. But for now, all my energy is concentrated on fighting off this one danger. I can't think of anything else.

My brother finally turns around and walks to my uncle, then leans over his chair and whispers something in his ear.

"I see", he says.

Then he asks me:

"Will your bodyguard do? He's the only disposable one out of everyone here.. and won't count as an obstacle in your future plans."

"My...?"

...what?

"Well, soldier? Are you up to the task?" asks lord Thomas with his usual good humour.

I uncounsciusly look over my shoulder. Marcus shortly nods to the regent. His gaze is completely unchanged.

"Good. Then we're understood. We meet again tonight. I will be expecting good news by then."

I.. have no idea what to do. Marcus takes my hand and walks out of the room. I only hear Rilley spit with bad-tempered rage:

"Do care to pick up some usefull experience in view of your next mission, princess..."

But I'm not afraid anymore. He's back there and I'm getting away and I feel my my hand becoming warm as we walk along the dark corridors.