In between Conversation (part 1)

Yael and Solanne didn't eat much dinner and saved some for tomorrow. They put it inside the fridge. Solanne savored the food that Yael had prepared. It's an opportunity; besides, it's not like every occurrence when a celebrity, a very famous one, will do the honor of cooking for you. 

Solanne was even thinking of adding this to her journal. 

After that, Solanne prepared some dishes they could eat while drinking. She cut some fruits, put them there, and even transferred some chips to a bowl. And, of course, she cooked some pork belly and put some kimchi in there, too. 

Yael was so surprised at first as he thought that the only thing they needed was alcohol, but Solanne preferred and enjoyed drinking this way. They prepared the coffee table in the living room, and Yael had grabbed six beers in total for the first round. 

Of course, they remembered to give the cats some of their food before Yael picked some shows on the Television. 

They both sat down on the carpeted floor facing each other. The TV was running in the background. At first, since they weren't that close before, they were trying to guess what the other person was thinking. 

Solanne and Yael finished their first can of beer, and all they did was look at the screen. Suddenly, they were acting as if they had become strangers again, which was laughable in their minds. This continued until their third beer. And when Yael stood up to grab another six cans, he scoffed and said, glaring at Solanne, "This is so boring!" 

Solanne laughed and watched him make his way to the fridge. "What is it, then, that you wanted to do?" 

There were a few seconds of silence between them, and then, Yael said, holding six cans of beer walking towards here, "Rock papers and scissors game. The one who loses has to answer a question from the winner." 

Yael sat down in front and handed Solanne a beer. "You sure about that?" Solanne asked. 

Yael frowned. His gaze was asking. 

Solanne gaze mysteriously flickered as she ate some chips. 

"Secrets. Don't you have a thing or two? What if I ask questions you don't want to answer? Playing this game will allow me to get to know you better. I know you love your boundaries." 

Yael was taken aback. He never really realized that this was going on in Solanne's mind. Although they'd already been living together for a few weeks, he never thought this was how great her understanding and consideration were for him. 

Suddenly, he doesn't know what to think. All he knew about her was her fears of her dream, how she loves looking at art, and that she respects Vincent very much. 

Yael tried to put aside his thoughts as he sipped the beer and picked some cut apples before answering, "Then, let's do this. Each of us has had five saves. You can use your 'save' if you don't want to answer the question." 

Solanne nodded. Although she said that to Yael, there are also things she wants to keep herself, and she doesn't want to appear like a buzz kill in case she doesn't want to answer such questions.

"Fine by me."

As soon as they agreed, both hands were already in the air, bouncing as they said, "Rock paper scissors, shoot!" 

A moment of silence followed by a loud laughter and the voice of disappointment. 

"Damn!" Yael muttered while Solanne was swaying her hand to choose scissors. Of course, she won as Yael had drawn paper for his first try. 

"What's your first question?" Yael bitterly asked. 

Solanne chuckled. "Let me think first. I have tons of questions to ask since you're very famous. I can also sell this, you know. Your fans would kill just to get to know you more." 

Yael frowned. "Aren't you one of my fans too?" 

Solanne winked. "Of course." 

Yael rolled his eyes. "Just ask." 

"At what age did you realize you love what you're doing?" Solanne asked the first question. The two cats were already finished eating and sleeping on the sofa. The show on the TV was forgotten as it had already become a background noise for them. 

Yael was silent for a moment, his eyes looking to his right; he seemed to be thinking. "Probably when I was scouted to become an idol." 

"Why?" 

Yael grinned. He seemed to be getting a hang of this game despite the fact that they were starting. "One question at a time." 

"Fine!" Solanne accepted his challenge as she muttered, "How childish." 

"This is not childish. This is a fair game. One question at a time." 

"Rock paper scissors, shoot!" Solanne shouted and didn't even let Yael finish. Of course, their hands had been drawn again, and with Solanne drawing a rock, Yael had countered it with scissors. 

"Ha! I won again!" Solanne gleefully cheered while Yael scornfully looked at his hands as if he was blaming them for all of his misfortunes. 

"Dammit!" 

"Answer my question: why?" 

"I love the cheers and encouragement. I love how the crowd was so supportive and gave their all to support you. Suddenly, I feel so loved and so valued." Yael paused for a second and looked at Solanne. 

He was puzzled as she had a soft expression and a slight smile. "You're teasing me!" 

"No, I'm not." 

"That what's with the smile?" 

Solanne winked at him. "You have to ask me that later if you want to know why." 

"Cunning woman!" 

"It's what you called smart." 

"Next!" Yael shouted. 

"Rock paper scissors, shoot!" 

"Ha! I win this time!" Yael declared his victory, swaying his first. Solanne chuckled as she took a sip of her drink. 

"Questions?" 

Yael smiled. "Same as my question earlier. What's the meaning of your smile?" 

A small smile appeared on Solanne's face as she answered, "It's envy." She said in all honesty. That's right, she's envious of him. The embodiment of her dreams was Yael, except for the idol and actor part. She wanted to be rich and loved; sadly, she doesn't have those. 

"Envy?" Yael did not understand. 

Solanne nodded. "Being cheered and loved by millions of people. I would never experience it. At the same time, I was happy that you got to experience it. Perhaps, it's fate." 

There were a few minutes of silence between them before Yael sipped a drink. "You sounded drunk already." 

Solanne laughed. "Perhaps I am." 

"Rock paper scissors, shoot!" 

"Ha! I won again!" Yael squared his shoulder. He's confident. Solanne opened another drink as she finished hers already. 

"Just ask already," Solanne was curious about his following questions. 

"How impatient." Yael teased as she stuffed some fruits and ate them. "Tell me more about yourself." 

"That's vague." She paused, "What do you want to know?" 

Yael thinks for a second. "What's your work right now?" 

"Unemployed," Solanne casually answered. Still, a pang of embarrassment ticked in her heart the moment she said that. "Still lost, so here I am, taking a vacation." 

"How nonchalant. What did you do before getting unemployed?" 

"Some freelance." 

"About what?" 

"Designs. Engineering Math. Tutoring. Things that I know. I work for most of my friends, and often times, I help them with computations and designs of their projects." 

"Sounds cool." 

"Hellish, I say." 

"Freelancing?" Yael added. 

"You can say it like that," Solanne dismissed, but she actually meant walking on a tightrope, not knowing how stable your path was and feeling lost despite being at the age of 26. She feels small. She feels worthless, and she feels like she's stuck in this cycle and that she'll never be able to get out. 

Yes, she's starting right now. Taking her first step, yet at the back of her mind, she wasn't even prepared to entertain the thought that she would waste her time and that all of her efforts would go to waste. 

Despite her enlightenment, her thought process didn't change that much. 

And she was so embarrassed about that. 

Especially in front of Yael, she realized. In front of someone who had made fame and wealth and was loved by almost half of the population.

Still, these thoughts were only pointed towards her and a reflection of herself. He's nothing to do with it. 

Yael opened another can of beer and drank from it. They went for another round of games, and Solanne was the winner this time. 

It took her a bit of time to construct her questions as she didn't want to offend him, yet, as curious as she was, she still asked, "Most people think that you are already standing at the peak of life. What do you feel about that?" 

Yael paused for a minute, "Are we talking some deep shits right now?" 

Solanne shrugged. "Depends on your answer." 

"I understand them, but I also work hard to get where I am now." Yael's thoughts drifted, thinking about the dreams he had a few days ago. Although he had doubts at that time, what Solanne had said to him before, about his efforts and everything, really comforted him and was imbedded in his head. 

Although he has connections, he also put a lot of effort and sacrifices to where he was, and he should not invalidate that. 

Solanne looked at Yael as she smiled, even more ashamed of her thoughts a moment ago. As they went for another set of rock, paper, and scissors, Solanne won again. She giggled. "I feel like I was born for this game." 

"You're just lucky," Yael countered.

Solanne thought she was just being too sensitive but hated the word luck, especially coming from Yael, who looked like a child to whom the goddess of luck had given birth.

She's everything but lucky. 

She tried to push the thoughts aside. The beers were starting to get into her system, but still, she knew that she had high alcohol tolerance thanks to those times she went clubbing back when she was in college. 

"Have you been drunk before? Like out drunk outside?" 

Yael shook his head. "I haven't." 

"Really? Like drunk drunk? Going out with friends? Having hangovers making you don't want to drink anymore but still drink anyway?" 

"Yes," Solanne observed Yael's expression. Solanne can't explain what he looks like right now. Or what he was thinking. He seemed to be looking at something that didn't even exist, and it made Solanne realize something. 

Though he may be standing at the peak of his life, there are many things that he has already sacrificed, including his childhood. 

And just like many ordinary people, he has a few regrets in his mind that haunt him to this day.

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