Chapter 17 – “Illusion magic, how fearsome!”

An invasion by the Demon King Army!

When I got the report from Pervert(Nielsen), I immediately headed to the site. I sent Timu and the others a message to come later. For now, I want to tell them this myself: "Timu isn't at fault. I'm the one who forced her to leave."

This time, it seems the one that's come to complain to Timu is called Garm. He's apparently also one of the people in the Six Demon Generals. I guess it might really be to complain about Timu turning them into the Five Demon Generals.

Anyway, my duty is to soften Garm's attitude to make it easier for Timu to apologise when she comes later.

Alright, for my beloved sister, it's time to make full use of my skills in the hospitalities industry!

I ran happily out of Beruga Town, and past the bottom of Mt. Mishinga.

Umm~ According to Pervert(Nielsen), it should be around here, but…

I looked around. There was nothing in sight but thick forest and small animals. There wasn't any sign of anybody else.

They aren't here, are they.

It's Pervert(Nielsen), so I shouldn't trust the information too much. After I searching around for a while,

"Guu… Gkue… Gwrr… Fshrrr!"

――Mn!? I can hear some kind of beast!

When I turned around, a man riding a huge beast had appeared. The beast had tough green scales and giant wings.

T-, This is…

"Are you the Evil God? I'm one of the Six Demon Generals, Garm; I'll be taking your life!"

"…"

"Mn, where are you looking? ――Hmph, is my mount that unusual? This is demonic dragon Gyangu; I'll have you taste an attack from a man who's become one with his dragon."

"It-"

""It" you say?"

...

......

.........

"IT'S A DRAGONNNNNNNNNNNN!"

I bolted back along the path that I came from.

Eh? Eh? What? Eh? Why is there a dragon there?

When I went to have a conversation with them… of all things, there was the thing that appeared in games or novels; a western dragon.

E-, Even though he came to complain, he brought a dragon along?

No matter how you think about it, isn't that overdoing things! Did you plan on killing Timu!

W-, W-, What do I do? What do I do? I have to do something! If he brings that along, the town'll get blown to pieces!

T-, The guard? Nonono, unless they borrow a a rocket launcher from the JSDF――Wai-, B-, Bizef-saaan, SAVE MEEEEEEE!

I rushed into the only guard station in town.

"Bizef-san! Bizef-san! Bizef-saaan!"

"Why if it isn't Tilea-chan. You don't look too good. What's wrong?"

"S-, Something outrageous has happened. I-, it's a disaster. It's a disaster!"

"Disaster?"

"Y-, Yes. S-, Somebody's using a dragon to attack. They're going to attack the town!"

"A dragon? …Pfft, HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Bizef-san, this isn't a laughing matter. You have to hurry and tell everybody to evacuate!"

"Tilea-chan, calm down. Relax. There isn't anybody in the modern age that can use a dragon."

"Eh? Really?"

"Really. Even using a normal magic beast requires quite a lot of training. So using a divine beast like a dragon would need an outrageous amount of mana."

"I-, I see."

"To begin with, there aren't any dragons in the world anymore."

"Eh!? There aren't any dragons in the world?"

"They apparently used to exist in ancient times, but they went extinct. In this age there are only small winged-drakes, or the dragonoids who inherited the blood of dragons."

"Eh? Eh? B-, But I really did see a dragon… Eh?"

"It was probably a type of illusion magic."

"Illusion magic?"

"Yeah, you can use illusion magic to confuse people. It's likely that they used illusion magic on you to make you see a dog or cat as a dragon."

"Really!?"

"Probably. When it comes to illusion magic, if there isn't a gap in ability between the caster and the target, it won't work. You aren't even an adventurer; I think a normal girl like you would be the ideal target."

Well certainly my magic resistance is probably zero. If they used illusion magic, it'd work on me in one go.

Shitt! Tricking me like this!

"Muuu, then I was completely fooled wasn't I."

"Huhu, seems so. But using illusion magic for a prank really is going too far. I'll give them a warning. Tilea-chan, could you lead me to the person who cast it on you?"

"Understood."

I ended up leading Bizef-san to the place from earlier.

Phew~ So thats how it was…

As expected of Bizer-san. He was a C-rank adventurer wasn't he. It was precise advice. If it was just me, I would've been panicking.

But still, Garm-san is nasty, isn't he. Even though he just came to voice his complaints, he ended up pulling a prank like that. He's probably thinking "PUNKED!" right about now. After all, I gave such a splendid reaction, didn't I. This is so frustrating!

Ah~ Hang on. The situation I'm in is like somebody being pranked on those prank shows, and then actually going and calling the police, huh. It's not really being an adult about it, or rather, it's not being able to read the atmosphere. If I bring Bizef-san there, I might be able to shock Garm-san back in return, but it wouldn't be a joke.

"Umm~ Bizef-san, please don't take this too seriously, okay? It was a nasty prank, but he is one of Timu's playmates, so please don't arrest him or anything."

"I know. I'm just going to give him a warning. I'm not going to arrest him. But you know, using magic in this way is a problem. As somebody else who can use magic, I need to teach him manners, you know?"

"I understand."

Mn, just a warning should be fine. Or rather, if he doesn't do at least that much, I won't be able to feel better about being tricked.

And so, after a few hours of guiding Bizef-san, I finally returned to the base of Mt. Mishinga.

Um~mm, it should be around here. Garm-san, are you still here?

As I was looking around,

"Kuu… Gkue… Gwau… Fshrrr!"

I heard the sound of a beast. It was the same as the growl from earlier. Could it be!

I turned around and… there it was!

Standing behind me was Garm-san riding on his dragon again, glaring my way.

But still, that overwhelming size and presence – I thought this before as well, but it really does seem like a dragon no matter how you look at it. Is this really just a simple chihuahua…?

"B-, Bizef-san, it's your turn. Please give him a good warning!"

I moved my hand to poke Bizef-san in the shoulder.

-poke, poke, poke-

Huh? I'm not hitting anything?

I turned my head here and there――where did he go?

I looked left and right, but he wasn't there.

Then, let's try looking down next… There he was!

Lying on the ground. Mn…

――Wait, DON'T GO FAINTINGGGGG!

There lay a loser(Bizef-san), eyes rolled back, sprawled across the ground.

Eh? Why are you unconscious? Aren't you a C-rank adventurer. In the past, didn't you brag about beating some famous monster? Was that a lie? Was your C-rank just for show? Or could it be that you had illusion magic cast on you?

IF YOU'RE A FORMER ADVENTURER THEN DON'T GET SCARED FROM JUST AN ILLUSIONNN!

Huuu, huuu… I never imagined that he was such a loser. All this time I've been listening to this losers'(Bizef's) adventurer stories with glittering eyes, but now I want him to give me back my excitment.

"Unconscious from my pressure, huh, you frail human."

Okay. Chuunibyou over there, don't spout off pretentious lines. Are you trying to say you used your haki or something?

Honestly, I can't rely on this loser(Bizef) anymore. I need to warn him myself. In place of Loser(Bizef), I confronted Garm.

"Evil God. Earlier you showed nothing but the speed of your legs. Someone like you is comparable to Zorg-sama? It seems that Viceroy's eyes have been clouded too. I've lost interest. Demonic Dragon Gyangu, devour her!"

At Garm's instruction, the dragon came and attacked me. It opened its large mouth, and pointed its sharp fangs at me. The jagged teeth looked painful. They looked like they could easily bite off something as frail as a human's arm.

Uheh! Even if I know the trick behind it, it's still scary!

And then that dragon bit into me. With a bite, those sharp teeth stabbed into my shoulder.

Kuah! I-, It bit me. I-, I'M DEADDD!

――Wai-, it doesn't hurt!?

Huu, so it really is illusion magic? I won't be deceived by looks anymore. Visually, it seems like a dragon is biting into me, swinging its tail at me, and charging at me. But my pain receptors are telling me that a "chihuahua" or some other small animal is frolicking with me.

Huhu, how strange. Even though my eyes are telling me it's like a real Jurassic Park, there's no damage. And well, of course, since in reality it's just a playful chihuahua.

In that case…

"Hey, hey, doggie. Good boy, good boy♪"

I decided to think of the attacking dragon as a small animal. I decided to give patting the chihuahua(dragon)'s head and stomach a try.

But the chihuahua(dragon) just kept biting and butting into me, and wouldn't really come to like me.

Hmm~ It's no good. For somebody who's never had pets before like me, the hurdle is a bit high.

"W-, What!? For Gyangu's attacks to be ineffective…"

"Yeah. I'm having trouble getting him to like me."

"Ku-! Speaking nonsense. In that case, take my Secret Technique, Jet Star![Super Demonic Demon Dragon Strike!]"

――Mn, what?

The playful chihuahua(dragon) retreated backwards for a moment.

And then…

TOBIEEE!

Of all things, the chihuahua(dragon) charged at me with its mouth wide open from three different directions, like it had suddenly spawned clones. Is this that dog anime's Battouga or something!

Although it was a chihuahua, as you'd expect it was scary. I immediately backpedalled.

"Idiot! You won't escape from my Secret Technique! After her, Gyangu!"

Oohh, just as I thought I had escaped, it unnaturally changed directions and came after me. A homing-type, huh. The pursuing chihuahua(dragon)'s big mouth came down on my arm.

O-, OWW-, OWWWWWW!

I was bitten defencelessly.

"I-, Impossible… Taking on my Secret Technique uninjured…"

Nono, I'm not uninjured. My hand is hurt, you know.

Blood is dripping from it. Apparently my hand was bitten by the chihuahua(dragon). My hand is bleeding. Because of the illusion magic, it was really intense, but basically Garm sicced his dog on me.

Ahhh, shit. Injuring a cook's hand like this! It isn't that serious an injury, but as you'd expect, injuring a chef's hand would make them angry.

I'm mad now. I'm mad. Fucking doing something like this because I felt bad and acted modestly!

First of all is this chihuahua(dragon). Although it was its owner's orders, it's a problem that it has a habit of casually attacking people. I'm not going to be soft on it just because it's a puppy.

"Doggie, you can't bite people you know! SIT!"

I grabbed the chihuahua(dragon) by the neck, and forced it to the floor. The chihuahua(dragon)let out a cry of anguish, and collapsed. A roar like the sky collapsing resounded through the area.

What an incredible vibration. So the illusion magic affected my hearing too.

Anyway, I succeeded in holding down the chihuahua(dragon). But the chihuahua(dragon) struggled in a rage to escape my hands. It isn't really doing as it's told.

How should I train it… I know! If I remember correctly, I've heard that dogs have a hierarchal system, and won't listen to anybody except those above it in the hierarchy. In other words, I need to show that I'm stronger than the owner that sicced it on me.

Hmm. It's somebody else's pet, but he's a bad owner that set his pets on other people, so it's fine, right? I glared at the chihuahua(dragon). And then, threatening the chihuahua(dragon), I suddenly put power into the arm that was grabbing it.

"Doggie, cut it out already. I'll seriously get angry, you know!"

I tightly applied pressure to the chihuahua(dragon)'s creaking neck. The sounds made it seem like the bones in its neck were about to break.

"Kyuuu! Kyuuu!"

Whether it was because my threats worked, or whether it was because it thought its neck was going to break, the chihuahua(dragon) lay belly up and showed its submission to me.

Haha, did I go too far?

I accidentally committed a little animal abuse. I'm reflecting on it.

"It-, It can't be. My mount… my legendary demonic dragon…"

Yes, yes. A legendary demonic dragon, huh? It was a pretty cute puppy. Anyway, the dragon seems to think that I'm above its owner. I'd better give Garm his punishment now.

Punishment, punishment… What should I do…? I know!

Although it's a puppy, if you sic it on people, they'll get injured. Garm doesn't understand this. That's why he so casually played a prank like that.

Alright, I'll have Garm taste the same thing. People really don't reflect unless they feel some pain themselves.

"Doggie, this is an order. Play with your owner."

"W-, What! Y-, YOUUUUUU!"

At my command, Doggie went and vigorously played with its owner. Opening its big mouth and biting Garm, or using its claws to scratch him up.

"S-, Stop it. Gyangu, i-, it's me, Garm. W-, Wai――GUEH-!"

Uu~ Thanks to the illusion magic, it looks more like a dragon attacking Garm, rather than a puppy frolicking with him. This is really terrible to look at.

While I was suffering from the scene before me,

"Oneesama!"

I heard Timu calling for me.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Timu and the others were coming later, weren't they. But this isn't really a situation where Timu should apologise anymore.

"Ah-, Timu. I'm a little busy at the moment and――wha-, GEH! C-, Could it be that that's Gargan?"

"Yes, Oneesama."

When I turned around, I found that to my surprise, although it was a different species than Garm's pet, Timu had brought yet another splendid dragon. It seems that I really did get hexed by an illusion magic that makes me see cats and dogs as dragons.

Illusion magic, how fearsome!

Aahh, what a disaster… Even Timu's Gargan looks like a dragon now. This really is a bit too surreal. This magic isn't going to be permanent, right? I don't think I'll be able to handle the stress if things stay like this forever.

"Oneesama, things have taken an amusing turn, haven't they."

"Mn――a bunch of stuff happened, so I had Garm's pet frolic with him. But still, I see that you've brought Gargan, Timu."

"Yes. Garm is a demonic dragon user, so I thought that my own mount would be necessary."

Mn? I see!

It seems that Garm is quite the pet lover. He brought his chihuahua along, after all. Did Timu think to help their friendship by bringing her own pet? If pets get along, then their owners would get closer too, after all.

"Well done, Timu. You really gave this some thought, didn't you."

"I am honored to receive your praise. Well then, would it be all right if I had Gargan play as well?"

Hmmmm, would it?

I'm getting the feeling that just his own pet is too much for him but…

No, I'm sure it's a pointless worry. Garm loves pets after all, so I'm sure even if it's two puppies now, he'll be able to handle them.

"Mn, that's fine."

"Thank you for your permission. Go, Gargan. Bite off his head!"

Oi, oi, Timu. Even if it's only a puppy, if you give it an order like that, Garm's going to die, you know.

But well, Timu is a chuunibyou. It can't be helped that "go play" ends up as a line like that. But still, what an incredible sight. It's almost like Garm is being tormented by two dragons.

"UOOOOH, GAH, GAGAH!"

"GYAN, GYAGAAAAAAAN!"

"Haa, haa, mu!? Even Gargan is here. S-, Shit, haa, haa, GYAAAAHHH!"

.........

A roar rang through our surroundings. A cloud of dust flew into the air. And amongst it all, Garm's occasional screams.

――what a tragedy!

A-, Are they really dragons? This scene has kind of become so realistic that I'm finding it hard to believe that it's just an illusion anymore.

I'd better ask somebody else.

"T-, Ti~mu. H-, How does that look to you?"

I pointed my finger at the scene of the two dragons tormenting him without restraint.

"Huhu, Oneesama. Damned Gargan. It seems he's really taken a liking to him. He's playing so happily after all."

Mu, if Timu says so, then it must be true. The members of Timu's praetorian guard that were standing around were grinning at the scene, after all. So they really were just seeing two chihuahuas frolicking about. It's probably just my senses that are weird.

I'm sure that in reality, the scene is like,

『Woof, woof. Master, woof.』

『Hey, cut it out. It tickles, ???!』

『Me too, woof.』

『Hey, you're being too cheeky, ???.』

or something like that. But because I had illusion magic cast on me, I ended up seeing something I really didn't want to. I mean, it really looks like Garm being tormented by two dragons after all.

A-, Anyway, I think I'll go home early today. I'll go home, and after having a good sleep, the illusion magic will wear off too, right?

"Anyway, I'll be going home, okay? Timu, I'll leave the rest to you."

"Understood. Please leave the rest to me."

Yep, yep. There's no animal lover who's bad at heart. It seems that things will work out amiably as well, this time.