Jiggies of Time, Part 12

We never opened the secret levels of the previous two worlds, so it's time for some backtracking!

Part 12: Get Jiggy With It

The kids had a nice bath in Tooty's house and snuggled together in Banjo's bed. Jolene lay her head on Tooty's tubby tummy, thinking it made a nice pillow, and Robi laid on Jolene's for the same reason. When they felt well-rested and recovered, Robi and Jolene said goodbye to Tooty and exited the house… "Huh?" However, by using the door, they went through the exit portal, except now they were inside the makeshift house. "Well, this is clever." Instead of resembling Banjo's house, there was a Mayan-like door with a skinny handlike symbol. "Hmm…not sure what to do about this. Anyway, wanna head back to Onari's place first?"

When they returned to Oni Mountain, they realized they had never been to Onari's house. Onari led them further up the river past the flower field, having to jump up a few rock platforms to climb a short waterfall. Onari's house was a group of towering boulders with moss grown on them, and a wooden arch at the top. "Be careful on your way up!" Onari cautioned as they had to jump some thin wooden logs up a ledge to reach the house's pavilion. "Naridon! Guess who's here!"

"Naaaak! Nak-nak! Nana-nanak!" The big red ogre excitedly squat down to raise the two in a hug.

"Huhuhu! Hi, Naridon! We don't suppose you know where to find any Jiggies, do ya?"

"Naknaknaknaknak."

"He doesn't know for sure, but he saw Kappa going to the upper forest with a fishing pole. There's also this weird door that recently appeared near our house. Oh, and he also has this weird itch in his hair." Naridon scratched his afro. "He thinks something's in it, but we can't dig our hands deep enough to reach it."

"I might have an idea, but let's check out this door thing first."

Onari led them up a path right from the house, going through a small canyon before reaching a huge, Mayan door. "I have no idea how we'd open this." Robi said.

"Hey, kids! I see we had the same idea!"

Uncle Raymond came jogging up the path. "I got one of the robots in the casino to tip me off about this very door. Supposedly, it leads to a whole different time and place. But it only responds to Mayan magic."

"Where're we gonna find that?" Robi asked.

"Ha ha ha! You'll be happy to know I learned a bit of Mayan magic from a certain tutor at Hogwarts. A tutor that even Grunty may be familiar with. Let's see if I can replicate… hope this works." Raymond withdrew his Devil's Wand and began to chant and dance. "EEKOM BOKUM EEKOM BOKUM, BUKLAH! BUKLAH! EEKOM BOKUM EEKOM BOKUM EEKOM BOKUM EEKOHOM."

Waves of magic flowed over the golden door, its designs forming colors and eyes seeming to glow. The door's thick-jawed mouth opened, revealing a portal. "Oooooooo!" The three children's mouths widened in the same fashion. A sign magically appeared, labeling this portal. "Teca Tournament is open." Jolene said. "We can go in there now."

"I'll stay here and keep the gate open. You kids bring us home the gold!"

"I'll stay here and protect him from evil oni!" Onari swung her drumstick determinedly. "Good luck!"

The two nodded affirmatively. Beaming in excitement, they rushed into the portal. (Play "Outside Kickball Stadium" from Banjo-Tooie!)

Sub-world: Teca Tournament

The fighters' lobby of the golden coliseum was filled with warriors in exotic armor and makeup. They understandably gave weird looks to the two young strangers, some wondering if they were even from the opposing team. The kids walked toward the window, awestruck by the size of the coliseum and the battle taking place. A tan-skinned warrioress with short black hair, red eye makeup, and brown and gold armor was in battle with a muscular, greenish, three-armed monster, whose fists shook the earth with powerful bending. But despite her smaller frame, the warrioress fought powerfully with her unique weapon.

"Sniff, sniff."

"AH!" Robi could only react in panic upon finding some person sniffing him, crouched on all fours like an animal. "W-What do you want?" She had white hair in a bun, had quills full of cyan arrows that matched parts of her armor, and similar eyeshadow.

"(Chimi, what're you doing?)" A tall, tan man approached. He had black hair styled in several curled, wild dreads, a gold crescent necklace, skull belt, white pants with thin stripes, and skull earrings. "(Who are these guys?)"

"(I don't know, Rico. They don't smell like spirits, but they speak the language of the northeast. Luckily, the monkeys taught me this tongue.) Do you understand me?"

"Uh…y-yeah! My name is Robi, this is Jolene." He spoke slowly so the wild girl could follow him. "We are here looking for golden jigsaws… like this." He showed them a Jiggy.

"(Ain't that the prize they're holding for the tournament?)" Rico asked. Chimi translated him.

"The tournament? Can we enter this tournament? We really need that prize."

"It's too late for you kids. But if we manage to win this, we could give it to you. But our odds are… a little bad at the moment."

"(That dirty Chivo stole my Estaban! I can't use magic without it! I'll never be able to win my battle!)"

"That's terrible!" Robi gasped. "Maybe we can help find it."

"It was stolen just a couple battles ago." Chimi replied. "We think it's hidden somewhere in the coliseum, but Rico's scheduled to fight next. We won't find it in time. Unless you kids know how to summon a giant rock golem?"

"Uh…" Jolene raised her hand. "Is it okay if I make a giant clay monster? 'Cause it's kinda like rock, just really melty rock."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Robi beamed. "…Except you can't do that with Grunty's curse active."

"But I already did it when I fought the pumpkin monster."

"You mean… before you rescued me? You can do that?"

"(AND THE WINNER IS MAYAAAAAAAA! Our next battle is between Rooster Wizard Rico and Goat Wizard Chivo! Leeeet's get ready for MAYAHEEEEEEEM!)"

"(Oh man oh man oh man!)" Rico panted hysterically. "(Look, if you can turn into any kind of golem, I'll take it! We need to get out there now!)"

"Then me and, um…"

"Chimi."

"Chimi here will try to look for Estaban. Um, what's Estaban look like?" Robi asked.

"(A wooden stick shaped like a hand, ya can't miss it.)"

"Then let's get to it! Jolene, you sure you can pull off a big one."

"Uh, yah…I think I just gotta do it like…hmmmmmmmmpppppfffff!" Jolene held her breath and jiggled her legs as if trying to get her chi paths to burst. Though Robi was confused by the act at first… her aura began to burn as clay oozed from her dress. Rico and Chimi backed away in awe and slight fear as she grew. But Robi gazed in pure admiration.

Chivo, a short, round, black and gray wizard with a goatlike head marched into the arena, wielding a fiery orange staff with its own goat head. Behind him was a golem of black rock with a head of the same likeness. He snickered wickedly seeing his opponent enter from the other side, knowing his brave scowl was only a feint. "…Qué?!" He didn't expect the huge, gray titan of a blob. "Impossible! How could you conjure such an abomination?!"

"'Guess my magic is stronger than you thought!"

"We'll see about that!"

When the gong was rung, Jolene socked the golem in the jaw, Chivo growling and ordering it to scratch Jolene's head. The claws sunk into the sticky clay, Jolene stirring it around to spin the golem. "WOOOOOO!" Robi cheered from the stands. "Way to go, Jolene!"

"C'mon, let's get moving!" Chimi ushered.

"Right!" The two headed through a hallway on the right. There was no floor but an abyss and flamethrowers on high and low positions. "How do we cross this?" Robi wondered. "…Huh?" Chimi drew one of her arrows, a rope tied to it as she tied the other end to a peg. She fired it into a target between the flamethrowers, the rope making a bridge. Robi had to ride on her back as Chimi crawled over the rope, hanging from the underside to get beneath the high flamethrower and vice-versa for the low ones. The hall curved left into a wider passage with two, rotating tornadoes. They were caused by two large figures with dragon-headed arms and spinning hats.

"Those are Hura and Can, the Wind and Storm Spirits. …Not that I can tell them apart."

"Yeah, not like with Naridon and Putaro. What're they doing?"

"Some exercise, by the look for it. And I think their platforms are about to move up the hall."

"We can ride in their wind! Hold onto me!" They leapt in the cyclones as Robi fluttered his wings rapidly, staying aloft despite Chimi's weight. They tried to stay in the rotating currents as the spirits traveled forward, but there were electric doors to block the way. Chimi flipped so Robi could hold her by the legs, the archer searching for and aiming at Eye Switches hidden in the wall. She shot them to disable the doors, allowing them to breeze through and set down on a platform at the end. The passage led underneath the stands, the audience roaring outside.

"Watch out for that popcorn." Chimi cautioned. "We Mayans have very spicy popcorn." Fiery popcorn came raining from the stands. Robi used Sun Sand to shield them both, running through the corn. They had to stop at a ledge above a cliff, where Chimi had to shoot another target and link a rope. They crossed the tightrope before the fiery popcorn could burn it… and there also seemed to be some ghastly black ooze.

"Xibalba, keep eating like that and you'll get fatter than Mictlan."

"What do you think composes 2% of my icky body?"

The duo reached a tunnel leading to a kitchen area, with tables, cabinets, and exotic-looking crocodiles roaming around. They walked to a door in the back left, but it was guarded by a golden toucan-like spirit with three red eyes. "Vucub, we would like to go through here."

"Sorry, Chimi, but Chivo promised me two boxes of Froot Loops if I kept this door guarded."

"What if we find you three boxes of Froot Loops?" Robi asked.

"You can try, but it will not be easy. Especially with Cipactli's Pactlodiles running around."

"Let's search those doors first." Chimi jumped on one of the tables and shot open each of the cabinets. Some Froot Loops were behind one, so Chimi could pull it down with the arrow's rope. She then hooked a target above the cabinets, the two climbing up. Chimi would shoot some Pactlodiles on top so Robi could jump on them, the other cabinets ascending like stairs higher up the room. There was another box stuck in a spider-web across from them, so Chimi hooked it as well. Robi would take the liberty of jumping and swinging some hanging lanterns, landing on a safe platform before some wall torches. They were wide enough to stand on and would switch on and off every few seconds, so Robi jumped carefully to grab the last cereal box.

"I don't believe it!" Vucub gasped. "Three Froot Loop boxes?! Wherever did you find these?!"

"Anything is possible with a flexible perspective." Robi smiled.

"Well, I can't argue with that. Time to chow down!" Vucub shoved his beak into the first box and nommed. The two were free to pass his door. They would overlook a huge corridor where rock golems were punching bags in a slow, but consistent fashion. The arms were thick enough to jump across, so they timed their jumps with the giants' punching. They would reach a corridor turning left, entering a wide room fulling of glaring, spiky Mayan statue heads with aquamarine eyes.

"These are Xtabay's creations. She's the Illusion Spirit. This must be a maze of some kind."

"Let me see." Robi used Seismic Sense to feel the room. "Yeah. I can tell the real spike walls apart from the fake ones. Follow me." Robi navigated the maze himself while Chimi shot the Hura Clones that tried to ambush them (they looked like Hura/Can's head and hat, but with small whirlwinds). They exited the maze into a hallway, blocked three stacks of the same illusory heads. Robi distinguished the fake from the real ones: "It's the middle one, bottom, then the top one."

"This requires the use of my Flying Arrow." Chimi fired an arrow that she could guide in midair. It flew through the fake middle block, then she tried to guide it down, then curve it up at a high angle to go through the top block and hit the target. The rope would still follow its course.

"Whoa! That's crazy!" Robi beamed. Chimi carried him along the rope and reached the ledge under the target. From here, they would face up a tall shaft filled with magic barriers, except for wide holes in certain parts. Chimi loosed the Flying Arrow again, guiding it around and between the holes. They made the great climb up the rope, but Sput-Sputs would spit darts that could snap the rope. Chimi swatted their darts with an arrow, then shoot an arrow at their weak foreheads. The duo climbed to the very roof of the coliseum. There was a muscular man waving a stick hand around, decorated with Mayan ornaments.

"(GO RICO GO! Go Rico!)"

"PICHU!" Chimi exclaimed. "(What are you doing up here?!)"

"(Thief Sisters give celebratory cheering hand to Pichu! It give Pichu's team good luck! But Pichu must stay up here and not let go for it to work.)"

"(YOU BLOCKHEAD! That's Estaban! That's Rico's staff!)"

"(What? This is Rico's? But how Rico make magic monster?)"

"(We'll explain later, but we need to get this back to him.)"

"(Okay. Pichu sorry.)" He handed the staff over.

The tremendous shattering noise drew their attention to the arena. Jolene had crushed Chivo's golem beneath her fists. "Hmmm…something is suspicious here." Chivo glared. "Why do you not hold your staff? I see no magic resonating between you and this thing."

"Oh, that…that's because my staff is inside this golem! That's the thing about Estaban, he don't need me to hold his hand all the time!" Rico lied.

"Really? I thought I felt a presence in there. Then I'll just have to TAKE IT OUT!" Chivo fired a powerful spell that pierced the giant's center. It came too fast for Jolene to react as she was blown straight up onto the ringed roof. She was still tucked inside a wad of clay that flew with her, but she had no strength left to maintain her Fury. Her colossus collapsed into a goopy mess. "Goatotototo! Looks like I was right on the mark! This should be easy."

"Uh-oh! We need to get this down now!" Chimi exclaimed.

"Should we just throw it down?"

"We need to throw it down with that clay stuff so it looks convincing. Otherwise, they might find out he 'cheated.'"

"Pichu help friends!" The muscular Mayan hoisted them both on his shoulders. "Pichu make up for mistake by helping Rico!" Pichu raced across the roof with great speed, punching down the smaller golems that tried to stop him. When giant Pactlodiles came charging with open mouths, Chimi shot arrows to make them choke, leaving Pichu to jump on them before running over. There was a large, long blockade, but Pichu could drop off the right ledge and run over a walkway. It led to a door into the building, where Pichu dodged around pillars before going up some stairs back onto the roof. Pichu needed to jump some Snarebears before reaching the wad of clay, from which Jolene had already crawlin' out of. "Eeek! It's a slug!"

"Don't step on it, Pichu." Chimi shoved Estaban into the clay. "Jolene, can you throw this clay down to the ring?"

"It's not nice to throw things at sports people."

"It'll be nice this time, Jolene, hurry!" Robi insisted. Jolene picked up the clay and threw it down close to Rico.

"What?!" Chivo gasped.

"E-Estaban!" Rico excitedly pulled the staff out. "I missed you, baby!" The hand wrapped him in a hug. "Let's show him some REAL magic!" Rico uttered an incantation and channeled magic over the mass of clay. The abomination rose again under his control, smacking Chivo to the side of the arena.

"It's not possible! You must have cheated! I know you did!"

"It takes one to know one, Chivo. And that's why you ain't gonna win!"

"NOOOOOOO…" Chivo suffered a painful pummeling against the Crystal Jiggy knuckles.

"Haha! Maybe he'll be as good as you someday, Jolene!" Robi laughed.

One rest of the tournament later

Maya and her team proudly approached the duo with the Jiggy in hand. "(So, that's what happened. Looks like you two really came through for us.)"

"That's the KND motto!" Robi declared, hands on his hips. "Being in the right place at the right time!"

"Is that our motto?" Jolene asked.

"We have a bunch of them."

"(Well, if this trophy is important to you, it's all yours. I doubt Mictlan's crew will run out of excuses to keep challenging us.)"

The Jiggy Dance mimicked the Eekom Bokum dance, Rico levitating it with magic. Jolene jumped to grab it, levitating as well, but Rico couldn't sustain her weight and dropped her. "By the way, you look sort of familiar." Robi told Maya.

"(I don't think I've ever met you before. How?)"

"I dunno. Just feel like I've seen you somewhere. …Oh, before we go, I wanted to ask about this." Robi showed them the ruby jewel Tooty found in the Mayan-like cave.

"(I ain't sure what that is.)" Rico cocked a brow.

"Where did you get it?" Chimi asked.

"Uh, it's not important. Let's look around, Jolene."

They re-explored the stadium again, but when they reached the end of the area under the stands, Robi realized there was a footprint trail along the wall over the pit. They followed it past the tunnel and exited out from the stands. It led to an enclosing within the wall, a large decorative skull overlooking the arena with a one-eyed gaze. "Oh!" It had a ruby in his right eye, which meant this jewel went in its left! Jolene raised the ruby and fit it in. The skull opened, revealing a large Glowbo sitting on a regal throne. "Huhuhuhuhu!"

"The Mega-Glowbo! We found it, Jolene!" They grabbed the large creature and shoved it into their Infi-Cube. "I hope this'll be able to help Ms. Wumba and that guy. …And I guess Shoobz, too. Should we help him?" Jolene shrugged. (End song.)

After returning to Oni Mountain, the two went to the casino to change into a cashier. They would make their way back to Naridon, as Jolene could go into his hair with her coin form. She was able to pick out what was bothering him: an Extra Health Cookie! They used the nearby Anti-form Cauldron to change back before sharing the yummy sweet.

…

Jolene led Robi back to the entrance of the Mysterious Lair, showing him the entrance to Peanutville. "Oh, so there's a portal here now! Can't wait to see what's in this world!"

As if awaiting her return, the Peanuts circled the magic newspaper as soon as they popped out. "Jolene is back! Jolene is back!"

"Hey, are you Robi?" Peppermint Patty asked.

"Yep! How'd you guess?"

"'Cause Jolene's been looking everywhere for you."

"Euck. He looks weirder than I imagined." Lucy cringed. "Why's he all orange?!"

"It's a skin condition." Robi blushed.

The Peanuts took turns introducing their selves, and Robi would recap the current progress of their quest. "Wait, so there really is a witch?!" Charlie exclaimed. "And she's got Jolene's mom?!"

"And that's only the beginning, huhu! But we need more Jiggies before we can get to her."

"Lucy said the train station might have one." Jolene pointed. "But we need wings."

"I didn't think you'd actually get them!"

"Huhu, don't underestimate us." Robi flapped his wings. "Let's check that out."

After walking to the train station, Robi used the Flight Pad to lift off and carry Jolene. They flew across the tracks and passed through a wave of blue. "WHOA!" They were shocked to have suddenly caught up to a green train. (Play "Runaway Sunset Express" from Color Splash!)

"EGADS!" A top-hatted man exclaimed. "Where did those flying children come from?!"

Robi quickly landed on the back car before the train could get too far. "Hello, sir! We're looking for gold puzzles like this. Have you seen any?"

"Actually, I'm chasing a robber on the train up ahead. He made off with loads of gold. But you kids shouldn't be here! This is dangerous!"

"Sir Topham!" yelled the green train's face. "The robber just threw a box of dynamite on me!"

"Dang! If it weren't for these blasted monsters, I could…"

"Leave it to us!" Robi cheered. "Hurry, Jolene!"

"Wait! Y-You can't just…"

The duo ran into the first car, Jolene throwing fists at the Guvnors waiting to ambush them. Past this car, they walked a footprint trail going along the left side, then could climb a pole onto the following car. Several sentient Nutta, Boltoids, and Washups jumped up from the other side to blow at them in the wind, the kids evading them while crawling the roof using Jolene's clay to stick. They reached Henry's engines and found the dynamite pack. Jolene picked it up and threw it off the train. "Phew! Thanks a bunch, little ones!" Henry smiled. "Say, are those wings? Get in my mouth and I'll spit you toward Thomas!"

"Thanks for trusting a pair of strange children to do this!" They climbed into Henry's mouth from behind; there happened to be a Flight Pad on his tongue. He spat them forth as Robi used the momentum to catch up with the blue train ahead.

"I'm being chased by two flying kids?!" the burglar questioned, wearing a classic striped shirt and black mask. "Harold! Stop them!"

A faced, white helicopter flew in the kids' way. "Harold the Helicopter?!" Thomas exclaimed. "You're a part of this?!"

"I'm tired of taking a backseat to a bunch of trains, I can fricking FLY!" Harold fired a missile that Robi dodged, the Nimbi lunging with Meteor Bomb and kicking Harold in the face. The force dented and disoriented him, the copter retaliating by facing his chopper at them and lunging. Robi flew up in evasion, while Jolene let some clay drizzle down on the propeller. Harold's blade clogged up and stopped, his expression in panic as he fell to a crash.

"So long, Mr. Helicopter." Jolene waved with her foot. Robi did another Meteor Bomb to catch up and land on Thomas's back car. Choo-Hoos; small train robots with angry faces, came charging at the kids, but quick dodging would result in the trains running off track. They jumped a crate to reach the pile of coal in the next car. Slappas emerged to throw coal at them, but Robi bent the coal in his own favor to give the hand mummies a bruising. The next car had coal on fire, easy to cross with some Sun Sand, but Robi would need to keep it active while jumping smaller burning platforms. They had to go inside the next car, but it was full of Securinos keeping the floor scanned. Jolene simply stretched arms up to the luggage shelf, pulling Robi up with as they crawled over the drones and out the exit window. They found a football at the edge of the next car, Jolene having to use the rubber band technique to bash the Choo-Hoos that came charging.

"You'll never take me alive, brats!" The burglar slammed the door to Thomas's engine.

"You can't hide forever!" Robi declared.

Jolene saw a lever coming up on the left. One thing she learned on this venture was that switches should always be hit, so she swung some clay to flip it. The tracks changed direction, headed straight for a trench where the tracks were broken. "AAAAAH!" the burglar screamed. "HIT THE BRAKES, THOMAS!"

"GAAAAH, I'M TRYING! I can't make it in time!"

"Blast it all!" The villain grabbed the chest full of treasure and bolted. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"AAAAAAHHH!" Robi and Jolene joined him in racing back through the drone-filled room, where the robots shot the burglar since he ran in first, over the burning coals, in which the burglar skipped about in pain from the heat. The burglar wound up tripping and throwing the chest forward, knocking the kids off the train with it. Thomas wound up dangling off the cliff mid-brake, the last car hanging precariously with the burglar weakly climbing up.

Henry stopped on the track as Sir Topham ran to them. "Astonishing! You got the treasure back safe and sound. Now, what to do with you, Mr. Burgland?" He approached the hanging train with a hearty stomp.

"Please, Sir Topham! I'll turn myself in, I swear!"

"End of the line, jerkwad!" Topham kicked the car. Thomas and Burgland went plummeting into the chasm.

"AAAAAaaaaahhhh…"

Robi and Jolene were shocked and concerned by the action. "Well, that takes care of that!" Topham marched up in a jolly manner. "I'll just take this gold back to the mayor now. But you can have this puzzle piece like you wanted." He gave them the Jiggy and walked away. "Now I need to order a new Harold and Thomas… after paying a visit to Hummer. Toot-toot!" (End song.)

Jolene showed Robi the central statue with seasonal doors. They climbed in through the Christmas tree, Robi taken aback by the sudden cold. "Brrrrr! So, these doors change the place to different seasons! Wow!"

"Uh-huh…and, I saw a door that had that star on it." Jolene pointed at the Star of David on the tree. "Do we gotta fly up and get it?"

"Sure… but that doesn't look like the right star."

Robi used the Flight Pad to fly up and try to pick the star up. He was unable to, so he kicked it with a good Meteor Bomb. The star went spinning off like a shuriken, flying to the snowfield and slicing open the gate to South Park. Robi and Jolene ran to where it flew, looking at the gate's open portal curiously. "South Park is open. We can go in there now."

"South Park… Spike talks about this place sometimes. …And it sounds like a place a kid shouldn't be. I got a bad feeling about this, Jolene…" They entered the portal with utmost caution.

Sub-world: South Park

They appeared on the street of a town with smoking buildings in near ruin. The snow and cold was no different from Peanutville. A band of four kids were ducked behind some wrecked cars, armed with snowballs, dodgeballs, a sponge dart gun, and a cow-launcher. "I told you this was a bad idea, Stan!" yelled Cartman, a fat boy in a red coat. "They already destroyed half the town!"

"We can't just give up now." replied Stan, a boy in a brown coat and blue hat. "Besides, we're the only ones that can. The adults aren't doing jacks***."

Kenny, the boy in an orange coat and tight hood that only exposed his eyes, muffled something incoherent.

"That Star of David wasn't me, dude." Kyle said. He wore an orange hoat and green hat. The kids all spoke in a fast manner. "And for the last time, I don't have magic."

"Hey, who are those weirdoes over there?" Cartman pointed.

"Hey, guys!" Robi greeted spiritedly. "Um…we're sort of new in town. What happened to this place?"

"We're being invaded by Giant Turkeys." Stan answered. "Some evil witch came and cursed all the turkeys we were gonna cook for Thanksgiving."

"Yeah, so now we gotta kill them all ourselves before they destroy everything." Kyle explained. "We got these cool weapons and dodgeballs from some giant abandoned treehouse. By the way, how come you aren't wearing coats? Or shoes? It's sort of, well, snowy all the time."

"And what's with those girly butterfly wings?" Cartman asked. "Are you a sissy boy or somethin'?"

"Why's everyone so mean lately?" Robi drooped.

"We had to write a paper one time," Jolene began, "where we pretended to be a turkey and had to ask a family not to cook us for Thanksgiving. And we read it out loud to class, and they called me a stupid turkey…"

"Anyway, can me and Jolene help with your turkey problem? We can do this!" Robi stomped up part of the street and Jolene formed Clay Fists.

"WHOA! That's cool, dude!" Stan exclaimed.

"I've seen better." Cartman remarked. Kenny muffled something in praise.

"Well, six of us is better than four." Kyle smiled. "We actually had this spare weapon that shoots eggs, so one of you can have it." He tossed Robi a long bazooka with five different settings and slots.

Robi shot a few eggs as a test. "Cool! You wanna use it, Jolene? You can probably hold it better in your Clay Hands." Jolene did so.

"We think the turkeys are based in a cave across the field. It's gonna be a longshot, but if we can make it there, we might be able to stop them all."

"Then let's go for it!" (Play the South Park 64 Main Theme!)

As soon as they passed the car blockade, three large red Jurkeys came running and gobbling. Jolene hurriedly shot two of them back with the eggs while Stan bombarded the third with snowballs. The street turned right as four turkeys charged, with a larger turkey in the center. It would drop Shromb Eggs, large eggs that would run toward the kids and threaten to explode. Eric threw dodgeballs to blow up the Shrombs while the other South Parkers destroyed the Jurkeys. Robi and Jolene worked to KO the bigger Tankey.

They reached a square with four destroyed houses of varying height. They could platform their way up parts of the houses and reach the edge of an elevated road. The road sloped down through more hordes of turkeys guarding a gate exiting town. While the others fought off the turkeys, Jolene had to shoot eggs into the six statues of turkey butts mounted along the gate. "Ew, why couldn't they be turkey heads?" Robi cringed.

"Welcome to South Park, dude." Cartman said.

Once the gate opened, the team proceeded over the snowfield. There was a small mountain left of the field and a cold river on the right, making their path fairly straightforward. Sir Slushes hurdled snowballs at the kids, but Kenny could shoot them in the hats with his cow-launcher. "We need to cross the river to reach the cave, but they took the bridge out. And it's too cold to swim." Stan said.

"Jolene, make your Clay Boat!" Robi suggested. Jolene molded the boat on the river, but it solidified upon contact and threatened to sink. Jolene had a hard time pulling it out and even unbending it in its frozen state. "Or… maybe not."

"Maybe Chef has something that could warm it." Kyle wondered. "His house is up that hill over there."

"Heheheh!" Cartman laughed. "Yeh, I bet Chef has 'something' that could 'warm' it. Ow!" Stan snowballed him.

The way to Chef had many tall snow mounds, Shromb Eggs ambushing them from some. Their hasty attempts to destroy the bombs resulted in them blowing up too close and blowing the group back, covering them in not soot, but yolk. They were still able to make it up to the brick house atop the hill with a large chimney.

Chef was a large, African-American man with a black beard, red shirt, a white chef's hat and apron listing his title. "Hello, children!"

"Hi, Chef!" the Parkers chorused.

"Wow, this place is pretty." Robi smiled, admiring the neon lights, lava lamps, and leopard rug. "Haha, that looks like Onari's dress."

"Why are those girls nakey and hugging?" Jolene pointed at the picture.

"Hey hey hey, you too young for that, kiddo!" Chef quickly blocked the picture.

"Chef, we need to warm up the river so we can swim across." Stan said.

"I got just the thing for that!" Chef went into the kitchen and brought out two plates piled with red eggs. "Try my new Fire Eggs! I use 'em to add a little 'spice' to my dates."

"That's weird, Chef." Kyle said.

"When they reach a high velocity, they'll catch fire in midair. That should roast those turkeys! Here, let me show you." Chef picked an egg up and rapidly shook it. "WOO!" He burned his hand and dropped it. "WOOHOO! WOHOHOHOHO!" His beard wound up catching fire as he ran about in panic.

"Let's put those eggs in that launcher of yours, Jolene." Kyle went to collect them for her. The kids left Chef to his business. Jolene shot the eggs in a portion of the river to warm it up, allowing them to swim across. "Watch out." Robi cautioned. "I feel a lot of pitfalls in the snow."

"Whaddya mean you feel it?" Cartman asked.

"Well, I can feel vibrations and irregularities in the earth."

"Sounds like hippy BS. I'm comin' for you, turkeys!" He charged forward and—"AAAH!" fell into a pitfall full of icicles. "Yeoch-ouch-ouch-ouch!" He sprung out full of icicles in his rump.

"Good thing your butt's thicker than a whale, fatty." Stan remarked.

"Quit calling me a fatty, dumbo!"

There were Mad Crows roaming the area around the pitfalls, which would try to push the kids in. They dodged their guns, but the team was able to land shots and KO them eventually. The entrance to the cave, marked by a turkey symbol, was sealed with an electric, metal gate. There was a map beside the gate, depicting the immediate area. It marked the gate's location, and a peculiar "X" with an egg and arrow pointing at it, just a few yards down-right. They walked that direction as Robi unearthed the pitfall, unveiling a pile of Grenade Eggs. "These looks like bombs!" Stan beamed. "We can blow up the gate with these!"

"Let's make sure to fit them in their own slot on the gun." Robi changed the egg launcher's slot to the green egg before stuffing the eggs inside. They returned to the gate as Jolene blew it open. Turkeys were mounted on turrets (Turrekeys), shooting large eggs at the intruders, while Jurkeys attacked from the ground. Jolene shot grenades to explode the Turrekeys, leaving the Parkers to protect her from the ground troops. There were conjoined stalactite/stalagmites along a chasm, but Jolene could shoot and blow up the thin centers, making the bottom parts into platforms to lead them across. Robi used Rock Jumps to help them spring up some tall ledges, but they quickly shot off some Jurkeys on each one.

The next tunnel led to a relaxing pond with a huge, pouring waterfall, several barrels falling down it. "Jolene, let's see if there's a path underneath." Robi suggested. "At least this water looks warm." They dove in and swam through a cavern full of Queer Fish; normal-looking goldfish that would keep trying to kiss Robi. It was a struggle to swat them away until they could reach the surface of a blue cave, finding a next full of whitish-blue eggs. "Whoa! Are these Ice Eggs?" Robi picked one up. "Brrr, they're cold to touch! Let's put them in your gun, Jolene."

After returning to the Parkers, Robi suggested shooting the waterfall with Ice Eggs. Jolene bombarded it, freezing the whole thing into an icy wall. "It worked! Now we can jump up those barrels!" The benders ran up a sloped ledge on the left to get level with the first barrel.

"You kiddin' me?" Cartman asked. "It's impossible to jump up those things!"

"Impossible for you, Fatty!" Stan remarked, the five kids bouncing up the frozen barrels.

Cartman begrudgingly tried to jump them. "Eh! Eh! EEEEHH!" He slipped on one and fell. "You know what, I think I'll just stay down here. Make sure no turkeys come through, hehe."

After reaching the top of the falls, the cave extended to another wide chamber full of water spouts and large icicles hanging above them. Jolene shot the icicles with normal eggs to make them fall into the spouts, but before they would fall off, she shot the spouts with Ice Eggs to freeze them, keeping the icicles rooted in place so they could use the flat tops to jump. The cave became straightforward after this part, but they were faced by three Tankeys, four Turrekeys, and five incoming Jurkeys. The kids found their selves backing far to hold back the onslaught, suffering a few nips and yolk bombs until all the birds were defeated. "At this rate, we'll wind up a Thanksgiving breakfast." Robi said.

"Man, now I feel bad for leaving Cartman behind." Stan frowned. "The turkeys could've eaten him first."

"Maybe Jolene could've carried him with her weird goop hands." Kyle suggested.

"Mom says I shouldn't carry things that exceed 60 pounds." Jolene said.

The South Parkers snickered. "I think he exceeds more than that!"

"Yeah, even in South Park 64, I'm pretty sure he was like… 164 bits or something!" Stan joked.

"Jolene, I think these guys are a bad influence on you." Robi replied.

The team would have to climb a tall shaft using Clay Prints, Jolene applying some to everybody. Waterfalls would pour from high points and cover the prints, but Jolene shot Ice Eggs at the source of the falls to freeze them shut. Meanwhile, Parakeys would descend on parachutes and try to spit eggs, the Parkers countering with their weapons. At the top of the shaft, they overlooked a deep passage overflowing with turkeys. "There's too many to take all at once…" Robi glanced up at the ice clogs on the ceiling. "But are you thinking what I'm thinking, Jolene?"

"That staying in a cave too long will make you blind, but your ears get bigger?"

"No, I… Really? I mean, shoot those ice things with Fire Eggs." Jolene did so, and every hole unfrozen would pour more water in. The turkeys gobbled about in panic as they all drowned. The floating bodies of the Tankeys would make good platforms however. "Okay… this isn't really what I was thinking, but I guess it helps."

They exited to an enclosed area open to the sky, a giant nest rested on the other end. Something big and gray rested in it… and the long neck of a huge turkey would rise awake. She stood on her high legs, her flabby pink belly hanging out. "So you're the little s*** who've been killing my babies, gobble-gobble!" She spoke in the same fast manner as the Parkers.

"Your babies keep destroying our town!" Stan argued. "All we wanna do is eat you guys for Thanksgiving."

"Gobbledegook! Well, we're tired of being your f*** meals, it's time we eat you s*** instead, gobbl-l-l-l-le!"

"Well, Jolene, you have plenty of inspiration for that writing homework now!"

Boss fight: Big-Bellied Butthead, MOTHER CLUCKER

Clucker dropped an egg that hatched a Tankey. The Parkers would hold it back while Jolene bombarded the mother with Grenade Eggs. There were nests along the sides with replenishers of either type. "Gobbleloo! You'll never breach my blubber! I'm thicker than a 64-bit fat kid!"

"She was listening!" Stan gasped. "…Wait, guys, there's a big obvious target on her butt! Shoot the turkey butt!"

"Just like the gate back in town!" Robi gasped. "It all comes back around!"

The Parkers' weapons couldn't damage the obvious target, but Clucker would refuse to let Jolene get behind and shoot grenades. Jolene wondered if the turkey liked to play in puddles, so she shot the snow with Fire Eggs to melt it into shallow water. Clucker continued to stomp toward her regardless, so Jolene decided to refreeze the water with Ice Eggs. The water froze around Clucker's ankles and locked her in place. In her struggle to shake free, Jolene ran behind and bombed her in the butt. "GOOLULULULU! How 'bout I bomb YOUR 'A', you little 'B'?!" She spat Shromb Eggs that would run toward any of the kids, while still hatching Tankeys, and would otherwise try to avoid Jolene. The Parkers would use this to their advantage and lure one of the Shrombs to her legs, exploding and drenching them in yolk. "Nooo! My precious Shrooby! He was going to be a kamikaze pilot one day!"

Jolene shot the yolk with ice to freeze it and hinder Clucker's movement. She hurried behind to blast her butt again. "AUFF! I need to rest my rump!" She stomped back to her nest and sat. "I can shoot you in safety with my laser eyes!" She shot purple laser bullets from her green eyes.

"Well, THAT power isn't thematically fitting!" Robi screamed.

Kenny muffled and pointed at the sky. Something seemed to come spinning: "It's that Star of David!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Your guardian spirit is looking out for you, Kyle!" Stan beamed. "And it's headin' right for her!"

"I don't think so!" Mother Clucker caught the star in her beak. She curved her neck before hurdling it at Kenny, slicing him eight different ways.

"AAAAAHH!" Robi screamed horrifically.

"Oh my gosh! She killed Kenny!" Stan gasped.

"YOU BAD BIRD!" Kyle screamed.

"Gobble-lobble! You kids will never catch me red-reared! I'll gobble you…goo?" She felt something pounding her rear. "GOO! GOOGLOOLOOLOOLOO!" She frantically stood and ran before facing the anomaly in her nest.

"WAAAAH!" Cartman emerged from the straw! "Oh, hey guys! I found a secret passage and some target at the end. It smells like turkey doo in there."

Jolene shot Mother Clucker in the rear when she turned, the bird crying and sitting to cool herself. "Jolene, throw that!" Robi pointed. Jolene grabbed the Star of David in a Clay Hand and threw it like a shuriken. The neck of the distracted Clucker was sliced, the bird falling dead. (End song.)

"ALRIGHT!" Stan cheered. "We beat the boss!"

"Yeah, but… Kenny is dead." Robi whimpered.

"Don't worry, we'll sow him back together." Kyle assured.

"W…What?"

"Yeah, he made a deal with the Grim Reaper, so he can keep coming back until he has kids or something." Stan explained. "But he has to spend his nights helping collect souls."

"That's… interesting."

"Yeah." Kyle said. "So, wanna help bring all these turkeys to Chef and have Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Okay!"

After stitching Kenny together and bringing a sizeable amount of turkeys, the friends shared a belly-filling dinner. "This place wasn't so bad, huh Jolene?" Robi smiled. "You guys were pretty good. Ever think about joining the Kids Next Door?"

"We actually tried once, but got kicked out of training for acting too 'mature.'" Stan answered.

"There are plenty of mature operatives. Even ones that cuss."

"Probably not as much as us. Plus, Kenny fell into the frozen water and drowned, then everyone got creeped out when he came back to life."

"Uh…I can see why." Robi cringed as the zombie-like Kenny drooled over his turkey. He took another bite of his piece—"Ow! …Hey, this turkey swallowed a Jiggy! We found it, Jolene!"

"A puzzle piece? What's that for?" Kyle asked.

"It's gold! I bet it's worth a lot!" Cartman beamed.

"Worth about 15 coins, actually."

"Fifteen cents? Aw, man!"

They did the Jiggy Dance: the four Parkers lined up behind Robi and Jolene, jigging in their cardboard-style animation. They each flipped an arm to throw the Jiggy at each other. When Cartman threw to Kenny, it got lodged in his brain. Kenny threw it to Jolene, who fell over like cardboard.

…

Robi reused the Flight Pad in the winter zone to land on the chimney of Charlie's house. It had a Witch Switch covering it, except it depicted Grunty as Santa Claus. Robi pressed the switch.

He and Jolene returned to the Mysterious Lair to find what happened. The poster of Gruntilda had been torn open. They jumped in and found the same Egg Launcher from South Park, still equipped with its four slots. "Careful, Jolene. I feel some enemies hiding up ahead."

They walked through a passage with several pillars. Gun-wielding bears called Tediz would jump out to shoot them, Jolene using clay to block their bullets and trying to shoot them with blue eggs. They found some burning platforms that Jolene could cool down with Ice Eggs. There was a gap before the next path, but they saw a platform far down below and ice surrounding it. Jolene shot Fire Eggs to melt that ice, causing that platform to rise on a water spout. They jumped and followed the path to a room swarming with Tediz, Robi quickly stomping a rock wall to block their onslaught. "Jolene, I don't know how long I can hold this! Try to shoot those stalactites up there!"

Jolene shot Grenade Eggs at the stalactites they could see over the barrier. Blasting all four caused the ceiling to cave in and crush all the Tediz. Robi released a sigh of relief and dropped the barrier. They jumped over the rubble and rescued a Gray Jinjo from a cage. "That wasn't even a Jiggy, just a Jinjo. And I don't think we've seen a gray one, yet…"

They journeyed back up to the Spiral Mountain entrance, climbing into the makeshift house's window. Jolene didn't notice the square mirror above the fireplace. She reached up and took it down, staring hard into her own reflection. She made all sorts of faces and moves because she liked to try and trick her own reflection. Sooner or later, she would catch it off guard… and she did! When it turned into Rico and Chimi. "WAAAYYYAH!" Rico clung Jolene's pigtails and pulled them up out of the mirror.

"YOU TWO?!" Robi jumped.

"W-What…what is this place?" Chimi asked. "We just… found this magic moving picture in the stadium. Rico used his power on it and…"

"(Hey, check out this door.)" Rico's staff pointed at the Mayan door with a hand symbol. "(Doesn't it look like Estaban?)"

"Oh! Maybe you can open it with your magic." Robi wondered.

"(I'll try…)" Rico made an incantation, causing the door's hand to rise into 3D. It would do a high-five, down low, sideways slap, knuckle touch, and thumbs-up with Estaban! The door opened into a vast, abyss chamber with moving targets.

Robi rode on Chimi again as she sniped an arrow at the first target, linking a rope. They climbed across before a saw could descend and cut it. From that target's platform, Chimi had to shoot and guide a Flying Arrow through a field of floating spikes. She managed to find the target, but had to carefully navigate the spikes herself so Robi wouldn't be cut. The final target was far over the chasm and would only briefly pop up after every three seconds. Chimi wasted a few arrows before successfully landing the shot. It seemed their climb across the rope would be slow and peaceful… but halfway across, two rows of Sput-Sputs sprung up! They all shot at once, but Chimi cut the rope herself with an arrow. They hung on as it fell and dangled under the platform, she and Robi climbing up.

They freed the Gray Jinjo from its cage. "All my gray brethren are saved! Come to Jingaling's Castle!"

"The other ones were already saved?" Robi wondered. A magic carpet appeared to carry them back to the beginning. "Well, thanks for coming to help us!"

"No problem." Chimi smiled. "But we should head back. We got our own battles to fight."

"Take care!" Robi waved as the Mayans jumped back in the mirror.

The duo returned to Spiral Mountain, telling Tooty about the Gray Jinjos on their way to Jingaling's Palace. "So, there really were some survivors after all? Then they must be going to help!"

The five Jinjos in question were circling the Zombaling. They spread away from the dizzy king before striking him simultaneously. The burst of magic popped Jingaling back to his regal, golden form! "Hooooo! Thank you, children! Being a zombie is dreadfully boring."

"I'll bet!" Tooty jumped. "Even turning ugly like Grunty doesn't seem as bad."

"Do you have a Jiggy for us, Mr. Singaling?" Robi asked.

"It's Jingaling, child. And I have more than a Jiggy." The king pushed his couch-throne aside, opening the gem Jiggy hatch. "This is the key to Jiggywiggy's Temple itself." He reached in and pulled out a golden key with a Jiggy head. "He told me some special children would be visiting around this 'time.' And I'm willing to bet it's you."

"Whoa…" Robi took the key with awe. Jolene was drooling over its glimmer. "Then let's go see this Jiggy guy! Thanks, King Ringading!"

"Oh, dear…"

Heading to the Wooded Hollow, Jiggywiggy's Temple had a large keyhole in it. They inserted the key and turned. The door sunk down with the key, except the Jiggy popped off it. They collected it quick before going inside. (Play "Jiggywiggy's Temple" from Banjo-Tooie!)

The posh, reflective floor was brownish and patterned like Jiggies. A great crystal Jiggy rest in the center… and across from it was a Jiggy-headed man in a blue robe. His voice was deep and soft. "Robi McKenzie… Jolene Kemuri… and Tooty… welcome to the Temple of the Jiggies."

"Master Jiggywiggy… it's really you." Tooty spoke in awe.

"How do you know our names?" Robi asked.

"I know all who hold the powers of the Jiggy. I know all who have held them… and all who will."

"Uhhhh…" Jolene didn't know what that meant.

"In fact, Robi… there is someone who has awaited you for a long time. One who designed that temple to use the Jiggies."

"'That' temple?"

"The temple Gruntilda has made into her own nefarious lair. That temple was created by another, waiting for her chosen one. But it was because of its connection to the Jiggies that Grunty was able to conquer it. She even took command of the power that limits the use of bending."

"Then… who made that place?"

"The puzzle… will soon be complete." He gestured to their right. There was another blank puzzle. "The Crystal Jiggies must be returned."

"The Crystal Jiggies go here? …But there are six spots. We only have five."

"Then your journey is not over. Defeat Gruntilda… and you may yet find the one who waits for you. As will you, Tooty." The young bear perked up. "Your brother lives… waiting for you to rescue him. I know… he is proud of the girl you have become." A tear leaked from the smiling bear. "And Kazooie… she will sarcastically state that she could've done better." Tooty giggled.

Jolene planted her face on the Crystal Jiggy pedestal. Within its rock, she could see her mother's image. Frail, agonizing… but reaching for her precious daughter's hand. "Yes… she is waiting for you, too…"