Chapter 17

"What are we? Are we finally in a relationship?" I asked. My heart pounding so hard in my chest full of nervousness, of fear for the uncertainty of whatever his answer may be. "Of course. What did you think my answer would be? I mean do you want us to be in a relationship? Or was I just miscalculating things? Did I get the wrong signals? What? Because I thought you also love me back. And, and..." He answered stammering, looking at me worriedly frantic which made me sigh loudly in relief and just nodded at him.

"I do, Xander. I also love you, a lot." He held both my hands lovingly and held them close to his face kissing them softly. "I'm sorry if I have never said or done anything worthy enough to assure you that I love you. But I do. I love you very much, Lilan." He said looking at me lovingly again then he cupped my face in both his hands to which I leaned my face.

"I love you. I do." He repeated again and again. Then he leaned towards me to kiss me slowly. Unlike earlier when our lips met rather awkwardly, his not sure and frigid on top of mine. Now his lips moved slowly against mine, at a very reassuring pace. I slowly draped my hands over his neck to steady myself and push myself more towards him. His kisses started to travel to my cheeks then my jaw downwards to my neck where he stayed there and slowly kissed it and played with it using his tongue. The sensation made me feel all tingly inside and I just left wanting more of it. I leaned my head back a little to give him more access to my neck. His mouth slowly moved lower again to my collar bone, he licked it slowly, bit down, and suck it so full of pleasure. A sound came out of me. A sound full of pleasure. A moan, but unlike in training which was filled with pain and relief that it was over, this time it was full of pleasure and lust. A sound so unfamiliar to me but it was enough to make Xander snap out of whatever beautiful thing he was doing to me.

"I--no-- I'm sorry. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Believe me, I do love you, I'm not just after your body." He said again looking worried and making frantic movements with his hands. "My body? Aren't we in a relationship? As far as I know, as we are in a relationship you get the right to have me. Did I get the wrong definition of a relationship?" I asked confused. "Yes, yes. You see Lilan, relationships aren't always what you see in movies and series. It's not always rainbows and rays of sunshine but it's also not always so toxic and dramatic like they show them to be."

"I see. Okay then, I think I've understood or at least have a gist towards this whole relationship thing concept... I think." He just sighed at my response. To which, even I, find it ridiculous. Got all flustered at this whole new concept to me, and looked like an idiot not knowing anything about it when everyone here in the mortal world knows at least the basics of love and relationships.

As if hearing everything that had just happened, Clarise called the both of us on cue, right before all the awkwardness seeped in on the both of us. As we rushed towards Clarise's calling, I couldn't help but feel this disappointment spreading through my heart. And I could never deny that I also wanted that to happen. I wanted more to happen...

When it is finally time for me to go home, Xander called out to me and offered to drive me home. "I'm really sorry about earlier, Lilan." He suddenly said as we were walking home. "Please don't be. That would just make it look horrible on my end since you know, I also wanted what happened." I replied my voice slowly lessening.

I looked up at him only to see his jaw clenched so hard that it made it look more refined than it already was. But when I finally looked at him in the, I saw his eyes darken with so much lust. To which something in me stirs. He held my hand and laced our fingers together then quickly did a quick U-turn.

"I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do." He whispered in my ear when we were finally going to a different road, it was the opposite way to Clarise's house. The tone of his voice didn't seem the least bit sorry nor concerned though. I must sound psychopathic right now for letting my boyfriend of only a few hours drive me to an unknown location. But what I'm feeling right now is one of the rarest moments of me being excited about the unknown. And once again something in me stirs and tingles for what is to come next.

Xander tapped some buttons to some location that I don't seem to be familiar with. Throughout our ride toward the unknown location, Xander held my hand so dearly and whispered sweet words into my ear. Some are promises of forever. Which I hope the goddesses would allow to happen in the near future, though I know it'll eventually be broken...