Tiramisu

I don't own soul caliber.

"…Mistress at this point I have no intention of ever questioning you, but… what exactly is she still doing here?" I asked as I shoved Tira, the crazy woman that attacked my Mistress Ivy Valentine with some sort of bladed hoop, roughly into a surprisingly secured room beneath the mansion. Judging from the look of the place it used to be a storm cellar. It gave off the impression of a dungeon.

"It seems our village guards didn't quite want to take her off my hands…" she said sternly, glaring at the mad woman as Tira smiled back. Her tongue slowly slid across her lips as she did so, as if hungry and viewing a particularly tasty feast. "So for now she will remain here until I can arrange for the royal guards to take her."

That was somewhat of a surprise. I didn't know that the mistress had such connections.

"Hey, Cow tits… come over here and let me have a taste." She chuckled darkly as we glared at her, just the other day she was commanding and aggressive, today she was crude and immoral. She seemed to go through moods like children go through candy. Quick and without much care.

"…Mistress it might just be better if I shot her." I said, lifting Mortimer's rifle that I had brought with me for protection. But Mistress Ivy placed her hand on the stock and pushed it back down.

"It is fine Karlson I just ignore her rambling. She's little more than a slave of evil…"

"Better than being your little sex toy. You'll probably toss Horse Dick over here as soon as he realizes you're too loosened up to be of any fun. I mean you've taken so many inside you already…" a loud smack echoed around the room as the back of Mistress Ivy's hand smacked across her face so hard she fell to the floor. But she was still laughing.

"…Well that's that. I'm hungry Karlson. Make me something please." The Mistress said lazily, walking past me up the stairs as I adjusted my uniform and followed after her. Leaving the laughing mad girl on the floor.

"Cervantes says HI!" she managed seconds before I shut the doors and locked them. Slipping the key into my pocket before jogging after the mistress.

"…So… should I feed her?" I asked as she scoffed indignantly. My eyes are drawn to her… outfit's... glaring lack of covering for her large shapely rear. The strip of purple build tightly up between them as they wobbled and-

"KARLSON!" I froze, glancing up into her beautiful, but very annoyed face as my own bounced off her generous breasts. Skipping backward as I quickly locked my eyes with hers. "…What did I say?" she said, very, very dangerously.

…I might be in trouble…

We stood in very, very awkward silence as I desperately tried to think of what she could've possibly said while I was distracted by her posterior… then her breasts… now her face… Damn.

"…I'm sorry Mistress what did you say?" I said, rather sheepishly as she glared at me. Her fingers tapped my chin, pushing it upwards to look into her eyes.

"FOCUS" she said commandingly as I gulped.

"Y-yes ma'am." I noted as her bright red lights curled slightly in a sneer.

"…Take her food and water once a day." She noted sourly, "DO NOT untie her. Toss her food into her mouth if you have to." She said, twirling and walking towards the front doors.

"Yes ma'am." I noted followed behind her and making sure I kept my eyes FIRMLY on her back. Jogging to keep close behind her so I wouldn't be distracted by her shapely rear-

She stopped suddenly and I bumped into her. grunting slightly as she glanced over her shoulder. "Get the door Karlson." She said rather imperiously. She was in a bad mood. I shouldn't argue.

I danced around her, gripping the large front door with my free hand and opening it. Standing at attention as she strolled past me. "What should I feed her ma'am?" I asked following behind her as I locked the front door.

"I don't care Karlson, table scraps would do fine! She's little more than a rabid attack dog."

"Yes ma'am." I noted as she stepped up the stairs slightly, paused, then stretched her arms high in the air, arching her back and jutting out her rear towards me. I immediately looked away; I wouldn't be distracted twice. She was in a hitting sort of mood.

"…I think I would like a stew of some sort Karlson. Perhaps dessert." She noted lazily as I nodded my head.

"Of course, ma'am. Any preference?" I asked as she began to sashay up the steps. Her heeled boots making little to no noise on the carpet as her hand slid up the banister.

"Surprise me Karlson." She said loftily. "I will be in my laboratory. Knock when it is ready."

"Yes ma'am." She had gone deliberately slow up the stairs, emphasizing every sultry step. But once she had finished giving me her instructions, she moved quite rapidly towards her private room followed by a sudden slam of her door. I breathed a slight sigh. Rested Mortimer's gun against the wall and rolled up my sleeves heading towards the kitchen.

I had the Mistress' dinner cooking in a matter of moments. Much of the task had been mysteriously completed for me. I found many vegetables and the meat cut and diced finely. Probably by Ms. Taki when I wasn't looking. I don't bother to ask anymore… I think she just lives here now. Mortimer had been sent by the Mistress to fetch the Royal Guards. As that was quite the journey it will take him some time to return. Two or three days if he didn't dally.

I had also prepared a small bowl of… well leftovers I suppose is best to call them. For our 'guest' but I'll let that sit for a while before I go to feed her. But the mistress also mentioned she might want dessert… So I had to think of something to… well 'cheer her up' isn't quite the word. Put her in a less 'hitting' mood is the word…

…Well I think I had an idea. So, I got to it… I made her cake… who doesn't like cake? I think she'll enjoy it.

It will take much longer for that to be ready, but her stew was done so I placed it on the tray and began taking it up towards her study. Remembering the last time I was taking her food and she was behind a closed door, I knocked loudly on her study door and quickly stepped away.

"Enter." She said, clear and plain.

"Stew ma'am." I said, entering her laboratory as she poured over a desk of books and notes.

"On the table there Karlson." She noted impatiently, stacking a pile of books as she glossed through them on the desk.

I rested the stew carefully on the large table and bowed politely to her, but she didn't seem to be paying much attention. "Will that be all ma'am?"

"For now. Thank you Karlson." Inwardly I smiled, being thanked by a beautiful woman always felt good. And Lady Valentine, despite all the rumor and mystery, was a very beautiful woman.

"I well tend to dessert then." I noted, walking out with of her study and shutting the door behind me. Then I went downstairs, sat in front of the oven… and waited… getting bored approximately five minutes in as the cake, Chocolate by the way. Slowly baked…

Honestly there wasn't much else for me to do. I've already tended to the chores of the mansion. Dusted, cleaned, rearranged… my tasks were done so I could be doing something else… read a book?... garden?... sharpen knives?...

…Wow I needed to find myself a hobby…

Well… lacking a hobby. I suppose I should go and tend to the mad woman in the basement. Managing to whip up a semblance of gruel, I took her meal back outside towards the… basement? Dungeon? Storm cellar?... Do we get such storms in England that necessitate the use of a storm cellar?

Regardless I opened the cellar door one-handed and walked down the stairs to find a rather amusing sight. Tira, the madwoman, was face down ass up on the floor. The chair had broken, possibly by her own doing, but the bindings on her wrists and around her chest held firm. She was surrounded on all sides by splintered wood… mumbling incoherently to herself as she wiggled her rear in the air.

"…Are you alright?" I asked hesitantly, placing her meal on a small shelf nearby… the dust was awful I should really deal with that someday.

She continued to mumble, but paused, as if someone or something was answering her… mumbled some more… then, in a rather unnerving change she glanced over her should at me. Her eyes, bright with madness glanced down, up, and down my body, lingering on my pants. She grinned prettily at me… she was quite attractive…

For a crazy psychopath…

"I'm fine." She said, grinning licking her lips as she seemed to lift her hips up hiring, her shapely rear jutting up in the air and wiggling. "…Could you help me? Please?" the word dripped out like honey, it sounded weird coming from her mouth… but manners are manners. And despite the fact that her rear continued to move, slowly up and down, I reached over and gripped her waist, lifting her up carefully and placing her down away from the shrapnel of the wooden chair.

"Mmn… such strong hands…" she said, her purple lips slowly parting as her tongue darted across them.

"…Indeed." I said suspiciously, before going to retrieve her gruel. "Dinner." I added as I carried the bowl towards her, and paused slightly, realizing she couldn't exactly hold the spoon… she watched me for a moment, then smirking, she opened her mouth wide…

"Ah…" she sighed, sticking out her tongue as it wagged at me.

I sighed… honestly it wasn't like I had anything better to do right now.

I gave her a spoonful, her lips pressed fully on the spoon… that's distracting. So moaned and slurped, I could tell she was using her tongue to swirl around it… that's suggestive. She wasn't releasing it either, she opened her mouth, licking the bottom of the spoon suggestively, before opening her mouth wide again. "..ah…" she sighed as I blinked at her.

"What are you doing?" I asked scooping up another spoonful as, yet again, she made love to it with her mouth.

"I'm really hungry…" she moaned softly, kissing the spoon and licking the gruel all over her lips. "Mmn… so hungry…"

"Stop that." I said firmly, "It's distracting."

"I bet it is…" she said, her eyes glancing to the traitor in my pants as it throbbed against its bindings. "Horse dick." She said smugly as I rolled my eyes.

"Honestly its not that big…" I mumbled indignantly as once again she 'serviced' the spoon like a well-trained brothel girl. "Stop that!" I said firmly.

Her tongue flickered on the tip as I yanked the spoon away. "Giving you thoughts horse dick?" she jutted her chest out, moaning slightly, "I bet your big-titted boss hasn't drained it for you today…"

As a matter of fact, she hasn-wait a minute. That's doesn't matter! As the butler it is my job to service Mistress Valentine to her desires!... whether or not that includes very intimate moments is up to her…

"I could take care of that for you…" she moaned, suddenly falling forward, catching me by surprise. I lost balance and fell, her food spilled on the ground as her breasts pressed against my crotch. She rubbed my erection through my pants as she grinned manically at me, laughing slightly as she moaned. "Oooh… Horse dick you're so hard…" her tongue, surprisingly long, scrapped my pants lightly, "Why don't I say hi?" she giggled.

"No! NO!" I scold, trying to scramble away as she frowned angrily. "Only an IDIOT would put his… manhood, anywhere NEAR your mouth. And I might be a pervert…" a little bit. "But I am not an idiot, Miss!"

Her eyes, the picture of fury, glared at me before lowering to my pants again. Somewhat stained by her saliva. Then, her face contorted once again into glee. "…I think your friend still wants to say hi…" she said with a rather smug growl. "You know…" she said silkily, "Last time your bimbo boss made you do all that nasty things to me… why don't you be a man and do it yourself?" she sat up straighter, before rolling onto her back, arching her back and thrusting her crotch upwards. "Take control for yourself… I couldn't resist you if I wanted to… and I don't want to…"

She began grinding on the ground, writhing flexibly like a worm. "MMnnn… I want it… get in me… fucking own me…"

"I… need to leave… right now." I said, scrambling for the stairs only for her to lash out suddenly tripping me onto the floor.

"Where are you going?! We haven't played yet!" she was on top of me licking my ear. "I'm going to eat you! Unless you FUCK ME UNCONCIOUS!" she laughed manically… how could someone so small be so strong!? She rubbed her body against mine, grinding on my back as I pushed her off, until she sunk her teeth into the waist of my pants and tugged.

My pants fell and once again I lost balance but before I could react, she was straddling me, my erection rubbing against her crotch as she giggled. "Yes! You stay right there!" suddenly… and too my horror… her bindings slipped free… "Ah… much better!" she sighed, giggling again as I threw a punch, "Naughty naughty!" she scolded, easily dodging my punch. "Don't fight! I just want to play!" suddenly she growled at my struggling, then gripped my length tightly in her hand. "STOP! FIGHTING!" she hissed, squeezing me into compliance. "I want to fuck!" she growled, tilting her head slightly as she glared at me, her eyes harsh and murderous…

…This was very, very bad.

Binding my wrists, she stood up stepping on my face as she undid her torn shorts, the crumpled onto my face before she herself sat back down, her tight womanhood engulfing my tip as she wiggled her hips, and- "Ah! FUCK that's big…" she hissed, her face twitching slightly as I shook of her shorts. She laughed, "I bet your bimbo is too loose for you… I'm NICE.AND.TIGHT…" she growled as she began to bounce slowly up and down, "mmm…feel that? That's my pussy… tightening around you fucking horse dick…" she was very tight. Her hands around my neck and holding firm as she bounced her hips up and down.

"Get! It! IN THERE!!! YES! FUCK! DEEPER!!" slamming her hips hard all the way up and down as she sucked in air, her eyes wide as she slapped a mad grin on her ecstatic face. "Fuck me! Fuck me!" her eyes, the definition of crazy, gazed into mine and although I knew it before, I confirmed it now.

She was completely fucking insane.

"You going to cum? Going to fill me? Don't you fucking dare!" she squeezed my throat, my air cut off as she rode harder. "Me! Me first! Get me to cum! Fucking! Deeper!!!" she slammed her hips painfully down on me as she raised herself up to the tip and dropped down rhythmically, getting faster and faster. "Cum fucking hard you little SHIT!!!" she slammed her hips down and screamed bloody murder around the room, squeezing my throat as my eyes went red. Her inner walls clamping tightly on me as she twitched, orgasming as her fingernails bit into my neck. "Ooohooh!!!" she hissed, loosing her grip just enough to let me get a breath. "Yeah? You like that? Nasty fucker…" she began to gyrate, her hips thrusting back and forth as my pulsing length throbbed inside her. Her body writhing in pleasure as she wormed on top of me.

"…Yeah… you want to cum don't you? Huh?" she smacked me, "Answer me! Cumming all over me like I'm a fucking whore!" she backhanded me, "Do!" smack, "I look!" backhand, "Like your bimbo mistress?!"

My eyes, and my cheeks burned… but I glared at her as she raised her hand back for another smack. I acted quickly suddenly sitting up and tackling her to the floor, pinning her there with my arm under her neck as her hand scratched my back. "FUCKER!" she hissed as I immediately began slamming my hip hard against her, "F-fuck!" she shivered, as I pulled out and then rammed back in. "FUCKER!"

"Shut up!" I hissed angrily, slamming my hips against her as my cock ravaged her body. She shook and shivered as she smacked, scrapped, and kicked at me. But I spread her legs wide, pinning her down as my hips kept pumping relentlessly inside her. "Do not talk about the mistress like that!" I roared, pressing hard on her neck as she struggled for breath, her eyes rolling up as, disgustingly, or expectedly…

She orgasmed…

"Nnnmgh!!!" she quivered beneath my relentless assault and lack of oxygen, her mouth opening as her purple face gasped for air and her climax rippled through her body. She tightened like a vice, I couldn't hold it any further.

She gargled incoherently as I pressed my hips to her, burying my length deep into her body as I released. Before I pulled out of her, aiming my still pulsing length over her stomach and firing ropes across her. she twitched with a crazy smile across her face, lack of oxygen and a few mind-blowing orgasms put her into a temporary coma…

Gnawing at my bindings a quickly freed myself before securing her tightly, tossing her unconscious sticky body against the wall. Spying the gruel bowl, I picked it up and poured it over her body, tossing it on top her as she grunted away.

She glared up at me, her eyes narrowing coldly before she spoke with absolute clarity…

"…I'm going to kill you."

I blinked at her for a moment, then said practically. "The mistress is better…" I left her on the basement floor, screaming murder at me as I shut and locked the cellar doors.

I entered the manor naked from the bottom down, pants under my arm. feeling sore, used, stupid… quite frankly, really stupid. I sighed sadly and headed into the kitchen. Fuck I forgot about my cake…

Expecting a fire I was pleasantly surprised to find the mistress, in her purple bath robe, casually eating my cake at the servants table. She glanced at me and pointed to it with her fork. "I hope you don't mind Karlson… but this is quite delicious…"

"…It was for you Mistress, so please help yourself."

She glanced at my exposed state of dress before looking back at me. "…Should I be concerned?"

I sighed sadly, beginning to put my pants back on. "I would recommend shackles for our 'guest', mistress, I'll arrange for some at the blacksmith tomorrow... and a damn animal handler…" just as I slipped one pant leg on.

"…I didn't say put your pants on Karlson…" she noted as I paused, then let my pants hit the floor. "…Eat some cake with me." She ordered, and as I sat down, reaching for a fork. She plucked a juicy piece from the cake and held it to me… watching me.

I opened my mouth and promptly ate the piece she offered before she returned to using the same fork to eat. We then promptly shared the cake… it was halfway gone, when the mistress, as calm as the eye of a storm said, rather pointedly.

"…Karlson. I don't approve people using my things without permission…"

"…Ma'am?" I asked as she stood up, gripping my shirt and dragging me upright, walking backward towards my quarters. Looking at me sultrily.

"…I'm going to have to remind you just who you belong to…" she said possessively, a rather proud smirk on her beautiful features.

I could not help but grin excitedly like an idiot, my erection agreeing with me as it jumped to life and her robe hit the floor and we approached the bed. "Get on the bed." she cooed commandingly

"Yes Ma'am!" I cheered and obeyed.

After all... I could not ever question the Mistress.

End of chapter…

I… don't really have much to say, don't stick your dick in crazy? No matter how hot or crazy hot they are? Let's go with that.

I was going to make a pun on tiramisu more prominent but apparently, the dessert wasn't even invented until like 1960 about a hundred some odd years (at least I think) from any point in the game… but I guess it worked out.