The Past. (2)

The world halted once again. I saw Aatrox's eyes frozen in narrowed skepticism.

*Birger… wasn't born? He says he is not alive? What does he mean?*

*He was here before everything. He was here before God brought light. He was the darkness before… Forever.*

*But… how old is he? Do you know?*

Malum hummed in my head for moment. *It is… hard to explain. From what I understand he always existed. He was here before the concept of time. Time is a… precarious subject. Before the universe formed, it was literally nothing. You can't explain it in proper terms other than nothing. No time. No space. Nothing.*

*What…* I felt myself starting to get a headache.

Malum laughed again before speaking in a serious tone. *Don't fret too much. He is… timeless. His age is both infinite and finite. Watch what happens.*

The scene before me started to play once again.

"You are saying something that is impossible." Aatrox said uncertainly.

"And yet I am here." Birger said. It was disconcerting, hearing and feeling myself talk with his voice. I had no control over the actions and yet it felt natural.

"You say you want nothing but destruction. You say you would fight against the goodness so other will not fall as you did. Yet you would have done the same had your situations been reversed."

He pauses for a moment before looking away. "I would wish this fate on no creature." He turned back to me. "You say you were here before time? If you are not alive then who or what are you? A curse upon the universe? A blessing?

A laugh escaped my lips. It was a cruel laugh filled with annoyance. "I would say a curse!"

His eyes narrowed. "What makes you laugh? What could possibly be funny about such an absurd claim? Tell me, creature. Why do you believe yourself to be a curse?"

"Hmm… think of the hatred inside of you."

"You are treading a thin line, creature." Aatrox growled out.

"Just answer the question. I am speaking so I can explain my thoughts."

He hesitates for a moment, but finally nods his acquiescence. "Fine. Yes. I hate the gods. I hate their interference. I hate their meddling in the affairs of mortals. I hate their arrogance. I hate their power. I hate that the mortals used the power their gods gave them to entrap me in this prison of flesh!" He says, his voice growing more and more intense with each sentence. "They made me into an abomination! A monster who could not be stopped by anyone or anything. I was supposed to be strong and powerful. Instead, I became something completely different. Something less than human. And now here I stand, trapped in this prison forever. Do you understand why I hate them?"

"Yes. I envy you." A sad voice came out from my lips.

"Envy me? Why would you want to envy me? I'm cursed. Cursed to never leave this place. To never taste freedom. To suffer eternally. What kind of enviable fate is that?!" He shouted angrily.

"Because you have a goal. You know what you want." My vision moved down and stared at my open hands. "I however, was never betrayed. I simply exist to exist. There is no purpose for me. No one to take my hatred out on."

He gazed at you with a look of pity and sadness. "I'm sorry for you, then. To exist so unfulfilled, so empty, without any cause or purpose… it must be a terrible thing."

"It is. So you see now, why I believe you are not the monster you think yourself to be?"

His hands clench and unclench constantly as if in war. He slumps his back before straightening. "Because you see me differently?"

"No. Because when you take away your form, your hate, and prejudice, what are you?"

He sighs. "So many questions. I suppose there's only one answer. I am a monster. No more, no less. Just another beast trying to survive in a cruel world."

"Wrong. You are just like everyone else. If the gods had no power, If the humans had no power, what would be the difference between them?"

His eyes widen as he falls into thought. He sat on the fountain next to me in silence while his head rested on his hand. "Interesting thought. I suppose nothing would be different. Should the gods become mortal they would be forced to survive like humans would."

"Yes." Birger said quietly.

"You asked what I would do if I had a second chance." He turned and stared into my eyes. "What did you mean?"

My arm reached up to rest on his shoulder. "Well, Darkin. I suppose I see myself in you. I see the struggles you've faced. Unlike me, however, you have a choice in the matter. You could leave this place right now and either continue your destruction or finally realize that godhood isn't light and dark. I do hope you choose the latter option, however, as I do not wish to see my fellow kin fall into a madness which makes them less than… human."

Aatrox laid his face into his hands. "The gods... they did this to me. They made me into a mindless killing machine. There is no other way to describe myself. I am... truly beyond redemption."

"Are you? Then why are you shaking?"

He stood up in shock as tears started rolling down his cheeks. "You're right. My heart feels warm when you speak to me. It hurts so much inside though. All these emotions rushing through me without any control over them!"

I stood up and hugged him. "My friend… I dub you my brother. My fellow kin. Forget your mission. Live like you would have if none of this happened."

His arms wrapped around me tightly as if he was holding onto me for dear life. "Thank you... Brother. This means more than anything to me right now. Just knowing that someone understands what I've been going through makes me happy."

I shook my head and released him from my embrace before placing a hand on his shoulder. "Aatrox. This path you walk? I've done it. It will not bring you peace."

"Then tell me, creature. Tell me, One Who I Call Brother. What should I do? I believe redemption is impossible. What being could love an abomination like myself?"

"You are a god, Aatrox. Close your eyes and hear the prayers of mortals!"

Aatrox closed his eyes tightly and took several long, slow breaths trying to calm himself down. "Okay...okay." He whispers softly as he relaxes into the chair, letting go of any tension or stress that might have built up inside him during his fight against the other darkin.

"You feel it, don't you? Their prayers? Their hatred? Their love? Grab one. Listen to it."

I saw his eyes twitch as I felt a force coming from him. "Good. What does the mortal say?"

"It… is asking me to guide it… to help it… it wants to run away from its home!"

"Whisper back to it. Say what you feel it should do!"

Aatrox nods as he focuses on the mortals prayer before speaking. "They call you monster… ignore them. They are not worth the kindness that you could give. Leave them. I will watch over."

His eyes widened as he focused on the mortal. It thanked him and followed his direction. "You see, Aatrox? You are more than you could ever imagine!"

"I am? B-but…"

"Do not think of it. Do not act in rage! These mortals… you say they are weak? I think they are stronger than any god! They fight through pain and suffering like the gods but even with their weakened mortal mind they get through it the same way gods do."

"You… are right…" Aatrox said slowly. "This is what I must do? Guide the mortals?"

"If you want. You could leave them be."

"But… why pray to me? Why do they speak with such certainty? As if it is a given that I would assist them? Guide them?"

"Because you are like them, and they are like you. The mortals do not think of you specifically when praying but rather 'Which god is most similar to me.'"

He sighed heavily and shook his head once more. "So many lives lost in my name. And now I'll never know how to forgive myself. I will always carry this burden, won't I?"

"Yes. It is the way of a god. You must live with your mistakes and work to redeem them."

A golden glow encompassed him for a moment before fading away. "This…" Tears came to his eyes and started to roll down his cheeks. "I've… achieved godhood? True, pure Godhood?"

I smiled at him before bowing dramatically. "I bid thee welcome, God of Redemption. From this moment forward… I will name you 'Malum' so you may never forget the evil you were and overcame…"

*Woah… that's crazy…* I said to Malum.

*Yes… it was a blessing to meet him. To this day i feel as though I will never be able to repay him. He brought me out of the darkness and into the light. I thought after seeing the stars, my purpose could only be dark… but now I have become one of those stars… to guide mortals and gods alike.*

"Go. Live amongst the mortals and learn. You will become a great god. You may have wings but do not forget you also have feet. Do not fly above them. Walk with them."

Aatrox nodded as he spoke. "I will. Never shall I forget your words, brother. I will become a god you may be proud of!"

Aatrox opened a portal and stepped into the human realm. As he left the garden that surrounded Birger wilted and died.

*The fuck is happening?* I asked in shock.

Malum was silent for a moment before responding. *I… do not know… I have never seen this from his point of view before.*

"Soon…" I felt immense anger raise from Birger as it became my own.

Birger looked up.

He thrust his hand at the wall and reality shattered. He looked into the broken veil and saw gods and mortals put upon spikes. He looked back up at the sky.

"Witness this. You cursed me with this existence! SO I WILL PROVE TO YOU I AM RIGHT!"

He grunted in pain and opened a portal. "Fuck… Void… quickly…" he stepped through the portal and became emotionless once again.

"I do wonder why you have cursed me like this." He said in a flat tone. "I do not have much longer left until I become something that only knows rage."

A light male voice whispered from the Void. "Become human. Forsake your power and live as you've told your sworn brother."

"Hmm… I suppose that would be the only option."

"Do not worry, my child. I will watch over you as Malum does."

"Who are you to watch over me?"

"I have no name. Just like you I was not born. I simply exist!"

"Then what should I call you?"

"You may call me… God."

"Arrogant name." Birger spoke.

"Yes, indeed! But true nonetheless. The gods you speak of came after me. Therefore I am the God amongst gods!"

"Very well. I will do as you say. Will you erase my memories of my past? So that I may continue as human?"

"You wish to be human? Why?" God said with awe.

"I would like to know what it feels to love and be loved. My entire existence has been filled with sadness and anger."

"I see… very well. I will do as you ask. You will become human but you will be stronger than average. I cannot contain all of your power so I will absorb what I can."

My head nodded on its own as I opened my eyes. I was back in my own body looking at the ceiling.