Chapter 1

'Hmmm...'

'I don't know how to process this...'

'My new mother is a young lady and my father is at war. This reminds me of home... Only, she's way younger than the usual ladies who had babies.'

Naruto... Or, Robb, blew bubbles of his spit while he was being rocked in the arms of his new mother.

'They don't even have lights! If they don't have ramen as well, I'll riot! Riot! I'm telling you!'

Then, she sat down and undid the buttons of her dress.

'Another thing about which I don't know how I feel.'

She brought him closer to her breast and he gently suckled for nourishment.

'Boobies... Love them.. Boobies of growing girls while I'm an old man? Repulsive. I'm more of a cougar person now.'

'My youngest grand-daughter would be her age...'

.

.

.

'Yeah, I'm going to throw up. Ramen, think of ramen!!'

And so, the baby suckled on his mother's teet while Catelyn had absolutely no idea her newborn had the soul of a man old enough to be called an antique.

Catelyn hummed a song to him and Robb found it to be very soothing. Slowly, sleep took over and he drifted into the land of ramen.

(IURRSIRS)

A mousey little man visited Robb when Catelyn was away. He was short, more a boy than a man. Robb knew immediately that the man had bad intentions for him. So, being a defenseless baby, Robb screamed bloody murder until Catelyn and a score of guards rushed into the room.

The man spoke softly and was able to talk his way out with Catelyn.

Even worse, he hugged Catelyn quite intimately and sniffed her scent.

Robb vowed to remember the man's name.

Petyr.

(TTOTUGS)

Robb missed having chakra.

It was the source of his power and being in an unfamiliar world, it would have provided him with a sense of security. His body was anatomically different. There were no chakra pathways whatsoever.

A few days prior, he was trying to concentrate and find his chakra, only for him to wet his loincloth.

He didn't have his chakra, he didn't have his strength and he couldn't control his bowels. It was a very crappy time.

Yet, all wasn't lost.

Robb could feel the emotions of people around him, especially when they were negative. That was how he knew Petyr held bad intentions for him.

He also knew that Lysa, his mother's sister, held resentment towards Catelyn. It was somewhat of a triangle and if he wasn't so helpless, he'd have found it to be quite amusing.

The entire world felt bleak to him. There was an emotion of sorrow saturating the air with small bubbles of happiness errupting now and then and the cruelty of humans ever ready to snuff that happiness out.

'From one sad world to another. What a life.'

(TTOTUGS)

Catelyn was very happy that day. The war was over and her family was returning home. Which meant that her husband, Ned would return to her as well.

Brandon's death was a big blow to her. Her wedding with Ned was not out of love, but, an obligation as Ned had to fulfill the word given to Hoster Tully by his father.

Hoster's daughter was to marry the heir of Winterfell. If not Brandon, then Eddard.

She was doubtful and agitated on the wedding night. But, Ned was gentle with her and she found herself falling in love with the man.

She was anxious when he went to the war. A child was growing in her womb and she dreaded the possibility of losing its father. Robb was born merely a moon ago when the war had finally come to an end.

Robert's rebellion was triumphant and Rhaegar was slain at the Trident. Tywin's actions at King's Landing were despicable and so were his son's. To kill the man he had seorn to protect, Catelyn was disgusted by the Lannisters.

She looked at Robb who was sleeping in the cradle. Her son was strong and a joy to be around. She didn't want the wet nurses to feed her son. She did it herself and it made her fall in love with her baby. Like a mother wolf, she would protect her babe with her life.

Meanwhile, Rob was bored out of his mind.

'Eat, shit, piss, sleep... What a boring life... Am I being punished for something? Is it because I walked in naked in the female baths? It wasn't my fault, damn it! There were no boards!! Hinata, Himawari and Sarada aready beat the crap out of me!!! I'm innocent!! Oi! Damn that brat, Boruto!! Why did he tell on me?!'

Catelyn, thankfully, was oblivious to her son's perverted past.

'Continuing to write Icha Icha was an ode to pervy-sage! It was for his sake! It's not my fault! I can still feel the phantom pains in my balls when Hinata used Juken on them for publishing a scenario from our raunchy times. I changed the names, damn it! I didn't know Sakura-chan read my books! She was the pervert! She even asked me to write yaoi, that closeted fujoshi!'

The biggest worry in Catelyn's mind should have been Robb corrupting her future children. Sadly, she didn't know that complicated language called baby babble.

(TTOTUGS)

Catelyn couldn't believe it.

Eddard Stark, the most honorable man alive, had broken his wedding vows and bedded another woman! Even worse, he had the gal to bring his bastard with him and asked her to accept him! A bastard! Born from some wench!!

Catelyn screamed at Ned for hours. The entire castle was reeling from the events.

Robb could only watch with a look of a bored fish. 'Maaan... Dude couldn't keep it in his pants for a year? What the hell? So weak! At least, he didn't abandon the baby. I'd have never given him an ounce of respect for the rest of his life if he'd done that. Mother should have slapped the teeth out of his mouth.'

The babe was handed over to a wet nurse while Catelyn stormed off to the Sept. Ned decided that it was time to look after his son and his heir, Robb.

He picked the bored looking baby in his arms and said, "Robb.. I'm your father, Ned."

'A son of a bitch, that's what you are, you cheating bastard!'

"I've angered my lady. Perhaps, she'll never forgive me. But, I did it for my sister. That babe is my blood and I'll accept the stain of infidelity if it means that Lyanna's son will remain safe."

'... Oops.. Seems like a good guy. I take my words back.'

Robb raised his tiny hand and began to tap at Ned's jaw.

'There there.'

And then, Robb peed in Ned's arms.

'Uhm.. Sorry about that.'

The expression on Ned's face was quite a sight to behold.