Chapter 4 Feelings mutual

Love. I've never understood it, it was always so hard for me to find it. Although there is a spot, deep in my soul, where my demons lie. Where I understand the feeling of Love.

She said "can we be friends, " I replied "No, ". It wasn't until weeks later that she came up to me and asked why. "Why? I just want to be your friend it's not like I'm asking you out". "I don't want you to get hurt", "even if I do want to be your friend I can't. I've lost too many people already", I gave my honest reply. "My parents are out today so can I come over?" Ivy requested. "Sure I don't see a problem, " I replied. "Don't you need to tell your parents that I'm coming over?" Ivy asked. I looked at her, not just her but her soul. She was so pure and beautiful. I felt like I was looking out to the sky on a very beautiful night. You could see every detail.

"There's no need," I told her. We kept walking until we reached my home. It was a fairly big house, even though I was the only one living it. "Are your parents out too?" Ivy asked. I had no point in hiding it. "My parents are gone and are never come back," I told her. She looked at me I saw that she was sorry for me, that even after me rejecting her she cared. "They died a few years ago" I continued "They died protecting me. My best friend also died protecting me. He was my brother. I cared so much for him" I kept going and then I just moved to the living room sat down on the couch and clenched my fists. "He took the bullet I was supposed to take, he saved me. So now I try to do the same" I opened my feeling for the first time to anyone since my best friend. "Who's downstairs!" A voice from upstairs said. "I thought you said your parents aren't here?" Ivy looked at me with conviction. "That's my younger brother" I responded calling him downstairs "Alex!". "Yes!!!" Alex said when he saw Ivy. His eyes beaming, his smile growing bigger and bigger, he was excited but for what? "You finally got a girlfriend, Jake!!! I'm so proud of you!!" Alex said, "eh? Listen nine year old, I'm still lonely like I was a few hours ago" I replied. "Jacob will come back in a few days right?" Alex asked "Yeah supposedly," I responded. "Then I'll tell him all about this-" "No!" I yelled at him. Ivy came to the coach looked at me. I looked up and saw her body from the bottom to the top. It's like I saw the most beautiful waterfall. She looked at me and said "Can I talk to you tomorrow at my house? After school?" I had no idea what was going on neither what was going to happen so I simply replied, "Sure, I mean. I guess I do need friends."

I woke up the next day. The previous night I set my feelings and understood that something was happening with her that happened with nobody else. I started caring so much about her that, I only wanted her. Her blue eyes, her long brown hair, her determination, everything about her I only wanted her. I went to school and then one of Ivy's friends came up to me, he was a boy so I already knew the conversation. "You and Ivy, are you guys dating?" He asked, "No we're only friends" I replied, "So you don't mind if I ask her out? You don't mind if I talk with her" he replied. My heart was pounding, my fists were clenching I wanted to punch him but why? Why was I so determined to hit him? It was because I love Ivy. Then I concluded that I should look at what's best for her and not for me. Hell, I'm the gloomy depressing ass guy that only has 2 or more friends. Why would she like a monster like me? It didn't make sense. "Go ahead," I responded. he left and said, "By the way, my name is Maddox". I then left to the restroom where I went into a stall picked up my phone and called Jacob "Hey Jacob. Don't get mad but I like this girl what should I do? Also, help me, or else I won't let you do your overprotective stuff for me." I promptly asked Jacob as he picked up the phone. "Look, whatever she wants is her choice you can't change it. You just have to wait. I trust eventually you'll find a soul mate unlike that-" I hung up the phone while Jacob was getting into his annoyed mood.

After school Ivy gave me her address through text, then Maddox asked her out. I went to her house where I met her little brother. He was a mouthful but he was so alike with my little brother. Ivy came home, "Jake, let's go." Ivy looked at me and said. I followed her and we went up to her room I went and sat down at the bed and she sat close to me. "So what did you say to Madd-" I was saying as then she interrupted me saying "Why? You think I would try this hard just for this relationship we have now?" I was confused I had no idea what was happening. "Jake, do you think that I've been trying to get close to you for weeks just so we can be friends," Ivy said looking at me. Feeling guilty I looked down and muttered "Yes,". I looked back at her and my heart dropped. The first thing I saw was a tear fall from her left eye. "You idiot, I love you. I'm in love with you! That's why I did all of this," she said while clenching her fists and hitting me. I didn't even try to stop them, even I knew I deserved them. I took off my shirt and grabbed one of her hands she then looked at me and I grabbed her hand and put it on my scar. "I've never forgotten about that day when I saved you. Ivy when I saved you I thought I saved a queen someone so beautiful and majestic it was impossible. I thought I saved an Angel, but I'm a demon. I have these problems I can't be the one you love. I'll just drag you down. I'll hurt you" I replied. Her hand that was once touching my scar then moved up to my face, she responded "who cares about me getting dragged down with you. Who gives a damn about what I have to lose. Jake, I'll lose the world just for you" She looked up to the stars and said "they're beautiful, how much I want to become a star." So I replied "Don't worry you already are. You are as beautiful as a star, in fact, you're a Galaxy filled with stars. A constellation of hearts". I looked at her and said "Ivy. I love you. I want you" our eyes locked both of our souls were in sync I got closer to her, my skin on hers. Our foreheads already touching, we were breathing each other's air. She laid back on the bed I got closer, she looked at me and said "Jake, I don't give a damn if I lose my life. You're always so scared to lose someone else but look, you won't lose me". I leaned closer and closer till our lips touched, our hands met and held each other, that night I slept with her, with my soul mate for the first time. That night, was the beginning of "our" story.