The Price of the Burden We Bear

AN: HEYO! im here, surprise chappy and all! I'm honestly updating more than I thought this semester, so I'm not mad about it, but I'm sorry y'all have to wait so long between chapters, especially those who only read one of my stories rather then following the series. Which, of course, is totally fine! It just makes me seem like a reallllly slow updater when I'm actually updating like 6 stories at a time ? maybe 7 soon, cuz ya girl has been surfing the MCU and damn, do I wanna dive in. I'm trying to restrain myself, but it's a losing battle lmao

Anyway, as always, thx so much for all the support and juicy, juicy comments. Y'all are kinda the best. Also, ohmygod! The bookmarks and kudos!? ?

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope you guys enjoy and I'll see you soon…ish? ? ﾟﾘﾭ? ﾟﾒﾙ

XXXXXXXXXX

Today was the day I'd be taking Lydia and Jackson to meet my magic tree friend. We'd ended up having to postpone it a bit since it was collectively decided that being sufficiently prepared for my Ascendance- "No, Stiles, stop calling it that! It's not funny!…Okay, it's a little funny."- and we're only now getting to it. On the bright side, the two, and the rest of our friends, had joined the pack in preparations, and were a great help. Erica and Jackson had actually been fantastic with assisting me on my preliminary supernatural law document, the one I was planning to use to manage my territory as a Guardian. Erica was acting as a dictator and editor while Jackson, whose rich daddy had my dream job of attorney, knew quite a bit of law as he was being prepped to take over his family's firm. We were also very much planning to read the parents of everyone in after the Ascendance, but that was another problem for future me.

Currently, I was curled up into a tight ball in my bed, staring blankly at a wall as I flipped through visions, making and discarding plans to mitigate any and all negative outcomes of filling my pack in on the whole Peter and Kate thing. For some reason, my abilities, and control of them, had taken a sharp upturn. Triggering visions, with Suhel's help, had gotten easier, allowing me to use them as a sort of simulation to decide what moves to make next, although there was still much I couldn't see. Conversely, it was also so much easier for me to lose control and get lost in my magic. From what Sohel has told me, this was a mix of me naturally growing stronger and finally accepting my position as his Guardian. It was also the reason I could literally telepathically communicate with him, rather than just sensing his emotions and intentions like I could do through my other bonds, something that had never really happened before the night Derek became Alpha. The flower crown I'd received from the nemeton had become a permanent part of my head at this point, allowing me to calm and focus my magic. I'd even started wearing it to bed, afraid of the dreams I'd have without it after a particularly nasty nightmare of a giant demonic wolf thing chewing Scotty fucking spine-

Nope, don't go there. Focus, Layla. Suhel warmed my chest a bit, comfort curling along my ribs as I took some shaky breaths. One problem at a time.

Having a magical entity literally in my head should have been beyond upsetting. Hell, I would have raged and rebelled if it had been so even only weeks ago. But, the reality was, too much had changed. Somehow, Suhel had become a precious friend I cherish and rely on. He was the only loving entity I'd never have to hide anything from, a confidant and the only one who would understand what the burden of being a Guardian actually entailed. Maybe I should have blamed the nemeton. He had essentially sentenced me to a life of service, struggle, and sacrifice. But, really, how was I supposed to look at a living creature, (not a human, never that, but a person nonetheless), and disdain them for reaching out for help, desperately grasping onto any aid they could find. Suhel had looked, and truly seen me, everything that I was, flaws and virtues, and decided I was what he needed. Take into account that Suhel, had he remained without a Guardian and died, would have resulted in an apocalypse, and well, I could hardly condemn him.

I smile a bit weakly as I feel a wave of affection rush through me from my bond with the sentient tree, letting it relax my muscles a bit more. It must have been hard on your own, huh? You did well, my friend. I'll help you now. I let myself bask in the bond for a few moments before going back to work, flashing between visions. "I can't believe you hid the-"

The pack had also decided that Derek and Stiles would take their official vows today. According to the tree, the Alpha, Emissary, and Guardian have to do a little ritual and solidify their bonds, and those two have to swear to Suhel. Stiles would be awakening his magic as a consequence. This needed to happen before we met the supernatural community, because, apparently, their positions could be challenged, and this would deter usurpers, albeit, not entirely.

That had been a bitch to discover. None were pleased with the idea, particularly Derek, who had snarled and proceeded to hover for the next day until I finally lost my temper, too anxious to deal with both of our turmoil. Stiles had responded with that hidden ruthlessness of his that I adored far too much and had dived into his magic books like he was preparing for war. Last I saw, he was reading about some insidious ass curses that essentially amounted to shit assassins would salivate at the idea of. I pity the fools that tried to challenge them. "It is my right to Challenge your Al-"

"Alright! That's fucking it!" Stiles roars, speak of the devil, barging into my room and promptly jumping on me, who was peacefully pretending to be a lump under my duvet with only one square inch of my eyes exposed to the world. "Woman, that's fuching it! Do you hear me?"

I groan, weakly uncurling, wheezing slightly. Abruptly, the weight is gone and my amazing, fluffy, warm covers are pulled away, and a hand is yanking me into a sitting position. I cringe, bewildered and alarmed. For once, I have no idea why Stiles, whom I don't, but might as well share a telepathic bond with, is utterly livid. I don't even think he's ever been this angry with me. The ball of stress in me, the one Isaac had managed to soothe bit by bit in the last few days, starts to grow again, my chest aching with it. Ah, shit. What did I do?

"I waited, okay? I fucking waited!" Stiles pops up and begins pacing at the foot of bed, his aura a frantic mess of desperation and hopeless worry. Shit, did I do that? I thought I was doing a bit better. "I didn't push you when you shut down the bonds. I didn't make a fuss when you drew away from us. I didn't even say anything when Isaac and Sunya started hovering, but this is too fucking far! We just realized that no one has seen you eat since breakfast the day before yesterday!" I wince. I just hadn't been hungry. I'd taken the snacks Feenie had pushed on me, but I had been busy.

Isaac had asked me to rely on the pack, and I was trying. I'd snuck into bed with Sunya for the last 3 nights, letting my sister chase off some gnarly nightmares, and she, without us saying anything, had still picked up on the vibe, and had teamed up with Isaac to coax me into joint naps. I'd made sure not to hide away in my room as much as I could bear, despite having to fight the near desperate desire to. I'd even tried to pry the bonds open a crack here and there when I was feeling okay. It was certainly an improvement from the near panicked state I'd constantly been in before Isaac had talked to me, but apparently, my efforts were still lacking.

But, it was hard. I just didn't want to burden anyone. If I'm a burden, will they leave? Will they decide I'm not worth it? Like mom- I force away the painful thoughts. I don't want them to have to deal with the stress I'm carrying, and I don't want them to hurt. They're so happy not knowing the things I know. Am I supposed to take that away? Even worse, I don't even have the option to tell them certain things because of the butterfly effect on the future-

"Layla," Stiles's voice breaks, and the ache in my chest spreads behind my eyes as he stops short, dropping to kneel on the ground in front of me, warm hands grasping me behind my knees. "Please, just talk to me. You're shutting down and I don't know why. Seeing you like this is killing me."

I clench my jaw, eyes squeezing tightly shut, but I can still feel my best friend on his knees pleading with me to let him in. But the fact remains that I can't. Not yet. "I-I can't. Stiles-"

He snarls, abruptly wrenching himself away and stomping back into his pacing, frustrated and pissed. I instantly miss the warmth. "Oh my god, Layla! You're the one who claims that pack is there for one another! Why can't you have a bit of faith in us, a bit of trust? YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!"

I flinch, and for just a second, just the barest moment, I lose control. A cup or two on my nightstand shatters, something falls over across the room, and I feel my eyes, still shut, and hair flare silver. Worse, I feel the blank mask I'd been successfully wearing since he came in slip, my face crumbling before I can stop it, my bond creaking open. The gaping abyss of worry and fear and guilt and strain drips through onto all of my packbonds before I can stop it.

Stiles staggers, a wounded noise reaching my ears past the blood roaring in them, and I slam my bond shut again, just as Derek skids into the room, beta shifted and all. I let out a shaky breath, and pulled myself to my feet, knowing damn well the damage has already been done.

"Fuck..." Stiles murmured. "Fuck. Midnight..."

Silently, I pad across the room to my bathroom, grabbing a towel along the way. Pausing, I stop in the threshold, leaning my head on the doorframe, one hand coming up to press the flower crown harder into my head. "We need to leave for the nemeton soon. I'll meet you guys downstairs."

"Shit, Layla, I'm-"

"Right," I interrupt, voice flat and dull. I gulp, exhaustion crushing me. Even if there are things I can't say, I should have done more. "You're right."

I shut the door quietly behind me, ignoring the voices calling out and thoroughly blocking them out. It was rare, but Stiles and I do have fights. Unsurprisingly, it's almost always when one of us is hurting themselves. Honestly, I should have seen it coming. I know I would probably have lost my temper just like him if the roles had been reversed. Trully, I am a hypocrite. But trust? This was never about that.

Soon I find myself once again curled up at the bottom of my shower, staring at yet another wall. I can't even be mad at the call out, even as tears mixed with water trailing down my skin. I could feel that underneath the rage, there was only desperation and concern. It was a blow up born of love. There was no way for me to miss that.

Shuddering, I blink blurry eyes as hot water flows into the tub around me, training my ears on the dripping noise to settle myself, soul deep weariness making my limbs weak and limp. Ah, I keep ending up here to have my break downs. I think I'm developing weird habits.

XXXXXSTILESXXXXX

"I fucked up," I mutter, hand raking through my hair, guilt and fustration warring as I whirl towards my Alpha, my chest still aching from the force of what lay behind Layla's shut bond. Derek straightens, eyes intense as he scans me, beta form melting away as he cautiously approaches, only scarlett eyes remaining.

"You…fought?" He asks slowly, and I want to snap at him -Noooo, I was screaming at my best friend to express my hunger. Yes, of course we fought, Derek!- but the image of Layla's hollow, pained eyes had very effectively killed my urge to lash out at anyone anytime soon. Oh god, she looked so sad.

I bury my face into my shaking hands, self loathing sitting heavily in my chest as my gut churns. I whine as warm, strong arms wrap around me, hating the way I collapse into my alpha's undeserved comfort when it's Layla who should be receiving it, but unable to make myself pull away.

I bite my lip to keep from breaking down when gentle fingers curl around the back of my neck and slide into my hair, Derek's silence coaxing the words from me. "I fucked up, Dere. I-I haven't seen her like this in so long, since…" I think back to tearful brown eyes and a horrible secret whispered in the dark during a sleepover, one that broke my heart. "She's never hidden things like this, not from me. I can't bear to see her struggling on her own." I choke up, tucking my face into Derek's collarbone, steadying my voice before continuing. "She looked so hurt. I never want her hurt. I was yelling, and she just…took it. I've never seen her like that. Just…resigned."

Derek sighs, pulling me closer and I slump further into him, finally bringing my hands up to fist in his shirt. "If you hadn't lost your shit with her, I would have. She's been shutting down and she isn't unaware. This can't just be about the Ascendance. Whatever she's hiding… she must really not be able to tell us."

'So what do we do?" I ask, anguished. Layla feels like she is slipping away. She was here, but she also wasn't. The girl who usually feels like a part of my soul, the one I can no longer pretend I'm not more than a little in love with, feels so terribly distant.

"We remind her that we will be there for her when she's ready," Derek says firmly, pressing his forehead into mine, eyes like blood, but utterly soft, if a bit tired and worried.

My eyes flutter close on their own, trying to block out the image that was making my heart pound under my ribs, the pine scent of the other person I was falling in love with soothing me even as my bi panic rears its head once again. I'm so fucking screwed. How the fuck did I fall in love with not one, but two people I reaaallly shouldn't have? My heart's audacity knows no bounds, ugh-

XXXXXXXXXX

After a while, Layla comes out of the shower, bundled in a towel, and hair wet. The softness of her skin, the way dark, thick lashes framed her lidded eyes and long tendrils dripped water behind her, it made my heart skip a few beats, although, judging by the hitch in breath from the man next to me, I wasn't the only one entranced. Layla glanced at us where we were silently perched on her bed, but said nothing simply retreating into her closet to put some clothes on.

When she returns in a tank top and high waisted shorts, and the shrug she's wearing falling off her shoulders and past her knees, Derek silently holds out a hand to her. She stares, her jaw clenching, and eyes horrifically blank, before she shuffles closer.

Derek, without hesitation, tugs our magic environmentalist into his lap, the bold bastard. I starte wide eyed, finding Layla's face inches from mine. The surprise fails into sadness immediately as I note the way her eyes are lowered away from me. The thought that she doesn't want to see me makes my eyes burn with unshed tears. I need to fix this.

"I'm sorry!" "Sorry."

I blink, rearing back, gaping at my best friend. Sputtering, I blurt, "Wait, what? Layla, I'm the one who pushed you and yelled, you have nothing to feel sorry for!"

She shudders, eyes flicking to me briefly, before focusing once again on her hands where they are wringing themselves in her lap. "No, I deserved it. Isaac has already talked to me about it, and I was trying to lean on the pack more, but I still made you guys worry. I should have explained myself before it got to this. I'm sorry. I-I love you, guys." Her voice cracks, and she buries her face into Derek's shoulder, embarrassed for showing even that much vulnerability despite it only being us. Fuck, she always hidden away like this when upset. Before the packbonds, when it was just her, Scott, and I, how often did we not notice when she needed us?

"Layla, no," I murmur, unable to stop myself from entwining my hands in the wet strands of her hair, directing her to look at me, and mercifully, her eyes are no longer blank, just sad and guilty, which is hardly an improvement. "Oh, honey, we love you too."

She smiles, then, a fragile small thing, like the first blossoms and spring, and I sigh. Really, these two make me a sappy mess, god, I gross myself out- She turns serious again, pulling back a bit to look at both Derek and I, uncertainty furrowing her brow.

"It's-it's not that I don't trust you. Course I do! But, I really can't say anything right now. Guys, I don't think you really understand what being psychic means…" She trails off, and Derek ducks down, pressing a kiss to her cheek, urging her on, and then pressing another kiss to mine, to my absolute surprise. Derek has gotten a lot better with tactile affection, but acts like that were still few and far between. I felt the sudden warmth in my heart bleed into a blush across my cheeks and ears, cursing the paleness for its transparency in revealing my emotions.

"We don't understand. How could we?" Derek murmurs, speaking up for the first time, nuzzling along Layla's neck even as he takes one of my hands in his, warm and reassuring. "Only you can explain it to us Halwa."

The Guardian's lips twitch at the use of the endearment, her body relaxing into us as she reaches for my free hand. "I see the future. But I can also change it. Everything I do has consequences, especially the things I say."

Instantly, realization hits me like a ton of bricks. My mind goes into analysis mode trying to understand what she means. We never really thought about the implications of what being psychic would be like. Yes, she can see the future, but what does it mean if she can change it? Are there certain things predestined? Can she alter the course of someone's entire life? She's saying that timing matters, so does that mean that she can see multiple futures? Does she have to pick and choose? What- I'm caught off by a hand pressing lightly over my mouth, and reflexively, I kiss the palm of it, before pressing it to my cheek instead. The move is blatantly unplatonic, but no one can prove it, and the gentle looks on Derek and Layla's faces are entirely worth it.

"Yes, I can alter the future and see the consequences of different actions and futures," Layla states, amusement curling plush lips, and ah, shit. I said all that outloud, didn't I? "So, yeah. Sometimes I just can't say anything. I'm sorry."

"Stop appologizing," I grumble, leaning into her and Derek, both contentedly snuggling in as well. "I'm such a shitty friend for never thinking about what the logistics of this would be like for you, and I hate that I can't help you with this burden, but I understand. I'm sorry, for yelling and calling you a hypocrite."

Layla chuckles softly, and presses her head to mine, Derek"s arms around us both. "You're the best friends and family I could have asked for. And you weren't wrong, I totally am a hypocrite. I was just sad you thought I didn't trust you."

I huff. "I'm an idiot. I just didn't you to suffer on your own, which we both know you tend to do," she nods sheepishly. "I love you too, you know?"

"I know," she agrees, and I have to fight the urge to kiss those smiling lips. The urge gets worse when I catch Derek's eyes, trained on us, affection clear as day in ruby deapths. Yup, I'm fucked.

XXXXXLAYLAXXXXX

Stiles and Derek help me finish getting ready, sweetly brushing my hair and lighting my life up like the sun bursting behind the clouds. The conversation was the last bit I needed to calm myself, and I cracked my packbonds, which had been shut for days, open again. They're relieved happiness I felt in response was worth it.

Soon enough we were tracking through the preserve, one of my magic will-o-the-wisps leading the way since Suhel wasn't always where you last saw him. Lydia and Stiles were in the middle of a fast paced debate on the science behind my magic orbs-something about electromagnetic waves- and Derek was carefully scanning the forest for threats. That left Jackson and I to trail in front of him at the middle of the pack, my arm securely tucked into the jock's, who was doing an admirable job of being a seeing eye buddy.

"So, it's a giant magic tree?" He asks again, disbelief still heavy. I nod. "Seriously?"

"Well to be fair, Suhel is more of a tree stump than anything right now, but he's going through a really good growth spurt, so we're optimistic he'll recover his full height soon enough," I shrug, and Jackson just curses softly, face meeting palm.

"And you're bonded to him? What does that feel like?" Jackson asks, bewildered.

"Not much different from any of my pack bonds," I explain, but Jackson's burning curiosity pushes me to elaborate. "It feels like a magic cord tying me to different members of the pack. They are each different depending on the relationship I have with that person, and I can feel how they're doing, if they're happy or sad or injured. Suhel is like that, but stronger."

He gives me a dubious look. "And it doesn't creep you out? Isn't that just super invasive?"

I tilt my head, pondering that as the blonde pulls me out of the path of a large rock. "No. I can see why you would think that, but… It's just nice. If I need some privacy I can always shut the bond down for a bit, but mostly, it just feels good." I smile, training my eyes at the sunny sky filtering through the thick canopy above us. "Pack bonds are like always knowing that you are a part of something else, something bigger. That there are always people who love you and support you no matter what. If I need them, they're only ever a mental bond away. It's…it's belonging and being wanted. It's family."

I pretend not to hear the way Jackson's breath hitches, letting the boy process, even as I recognized the longing and jealousy, the sadness. After a few moments of silence, I bounce on my toes, playfully hip checking the taller teen. "Don't worry, Jax. No matter what creepy crawly creature that goes bump in the night you end up being we'll take care of you. You're one of us now."

He scoffs, shoving me back, but the move is carefully engineered to not actually make me lose balance. "Great, I'm fucked then. And who the hell said you could give me a nickname?"

I roll my eyes. I can't believe I know a real life tsundere. "Don't be a bitch about it. Just accept your fate, and suffer. Also, we're here."

We break into the clearing, and lo and behold I can feel the nemeton's happiness bubble up in my chest. Dropping Jackson's hand, I bolt for the tree, squeaking in shock when I see how much new growth has appeared.

What was once a stump with a single spout in the center has turned into a full on baby tree. The tree wasn't terribly thick and sturdy, but it was now several feet tall much to my delight. With a shimmer, Suhel appears perched on the edge of his trunk, and I happily open my arms for my bond partner to float into, solid to me despite knowing everyone else would just see me hugging air. The thought makes me giggle.

"Hello, dear Guardian mine. I'm glad to see you doing better. I am sorry for having to burden you." The tree murmurs, pulling out of our hug to grasp my hand and pull me up onto the trunk. Feeling my magic surgeon, I let my transformation take over, feeling peace settle over me as I sit on the stump, letting the dense magic soothe away all of my soul's aches and pains, even if only for a moment.

"It's OK, it isn't your fault," I grin, pressing my palm to the baby nematon's trunk where it was sprouting from the center of the old stump. "I see you've been doing really well though. This is a huge improvement since the last time I was here."

Suhel nodded, swaying like a forest canopy in the breeze. " Yes. The night the new alpha was born, you solidified your place as my guardian, and Derek Hale became an alpha of my territory that you and I could trust. Additionally, you two had already picked out an emissary, even though he will only be awakening today, and already share bonds to each other. Those things alone have greatly strengthened me just through intent." He beams, and the stars in the piece of night sky that made up his toga like garnment seem to shine a little bit brighter.

I nod as the others approach, at a far more sedate and respectful pace. "So, I was hoping you could read the magic from Lydia and Jackson and let us know what they are?"

Suhel turns and examines them for a moment. "Tell them to touch my stump."

I relay the message and the two teens shuffle nervously closer. "Relax guys. Suhel just wants to read your magic."

"Do-do you not feel that, Layla?" Lydia actually squeaks, making my brows shoot into my hair line, "The air is so heavy and it's like my freaking soul is being judged!"

"I'm bonded to him, so I guess I've gotten over it?I'm more surprised that you can feel it" I explain, watching with interest as Suhel seems to give them a once over before flipping long silver braided strands over his shoulder in a dismissive gesture, clearly not particularly phased. I only barely keep a cackle in at the blatantly sassy, human gesture.

"They are a banshee and kanima. The banshee has some responsibilities to me, or more precisely, to you. An underling, I suppose, since they usually work to help the Guardian keep the supernaturals of a territory alive. The kanima needs to be bonded to something quickly before someone nefarious becomes its master and weaponizes him."

I stare. Ah, hell. Not sure what a kanima is, but I got a bad feeling. Clearing my throat, I turn back to the corporeal members of the group. "Um, Lydia is a banshee, who usually works under the Guardian, and Jackson is a kanima who needs to be bonded, like right now."

"Wha- Bonded like pack bonded? Right now?" Jackson asks incredulously. I take note of the way Stiles groans, cursing softly and urgently. Oh, looks like he knows what a kanima is.

"Yes. Now. Unless you want to be some rando's murder slave?" The alarm spiking through everyone is answer enough. Derek, with Stiles's help, drags Jax a few feet away to level ground, abruptly forcing him to kneel for the bonding ceremony.

"Wait a damn minute!" Jackson yelps.

"Jax, just trust us for a minute, okay? If you want a new pack later, we can find one for you, but this is for your own protection," I call out, still perched on the stump with my hand tight on Lydia's shoulder, keeping her from going over to her boyfriend. Wait, are they back together?

The blonde hesitates, anxiety loud and clear, befor he sighs. "Fuck it. Let's do it."

Next to me, Lydia whirls for an interagation. "What's a kanima?"

I shrug, "Don't know, but Stiles does, I think. Do you know what a banshee is?"

She shifts anxiously, "I think so? I have Celtic ancestors on my mother's side. They are women who scream to announce death. I'm like, some evil omen, or something? Great. Fantastic."

I cut her off before she can spiral, recounting the notes in the beastierary. "Banshees are a form of psychic/prophetic creatures. By that means, they are no more evil than I am, since I can essentially do that and more. Additionally, they can commune with the dead, announce danger to other supernatural creatures and people close to them, and even use magic in some capacity, according to our books," I grip my friend's hands in mine, just as a puzzle piece falls into place and a vision flashes by, my eyes going blind in response. Ah, so that's what happens, I see. "I'm not going to lie, it's a heavy burden, but it's also a really great gift. There will be no one better to protect their loved ones,"

Some of the tension drains from her, giving her a small smile. Just then, I suck in a breath, surprised by a new bond falling into black, an odd greenish gold color. Jackson. Grinning, I send him a gentle message- Hi, there. Welcome. You belong- through the bond, feeling him shudder, overwhelmed as the rest of the pack joins in. Stiles, who kind of hates Jackson, is still softly, kindly, bracing the other teen as he sways under the force of it, because,despite all their history, Jackson is now pack. Derek just stands with his hand on the younger boy's neck, warm and strong, his alpha spark a mini beacon to my senses, even in a magic filled forest,

XXXXXXXXXX

After a bit, we send Jackson and Lydia off to the car ahead of us, following another magic orb. For some reason, our solidification as a trio felt too private for witnesses, even pack.

At Suhel's urging, I stand leaning against the nemeton stump, a hand clasped with one of Stiles and Derek's each. The energy in the clearing seems to change, growing heavier and wilder, and losing the playfulness I'd grown used to. Phantom hands press on either of my shoulders, and the world lights up.

Magic surges through me like a volcanic eruption, shaking me with its strength. It should have burned, it should have terrified me, the feeling of bending to an unstoppable, undeniable force of nature. But it didn't. It felt like coming home and discovering something new and becoming one with the earth and yet having your soul freed from your body. It was exhilarating and tranquil and wild, an instant and eternal all at once. At that moment, I understood. With my bonds glowing and my body alight with electric magic, Suhel guided me along the way, I felt something click into place. I had a realization, an epiphany.

This-this is what I was always meant to be.

I come back to myself sometime later, the tsunami of magic reeducd to a gentle flow, to find a few very interesting things. Stiles is kneeling next to me, his bronze pack bond different, like it relocated. It used to sit on the same plane as the betas and humans, but now, it sat equal to Derek's, just below mine. There was always a bit of hierarchy with my binding the pack with my magic as pseudo alpha. After Derek became the real alpha, the bonds shifted under him. They were still in my grasp, still warm and present, but more like the subordinate of my subordinate, like I was delegating them to Derek. Now, it felt like Stiles had his own spot, equal Derek, out of pack structure, which made sense since the emissary was the bridge to the larger supernatural community, the aid of the Alpha and Guardian.

Reaching out, I tug his bond, sending him my love. He turns, and his eyes are blazing, the light brown a shiny, glowing bronze. It was still his eyes, just… extra glowy. Beautiful, I think absently, unconsciously reaching to stroke my fingers along his cheek briefly, content when he presses his lip to my hand for the second time today, trying to ignore the odd shyness it rouses in me and the way my heart leaps.

It's around then that I register that my other hand is nestled in warm fur. Confused, I turn, finding myself face to face with a giant black wolf. Not a werewolf, no. A bonafide four legged, bear sized,red eyed, pitch black wolf. I gape, unblinkingly watching the grand thing as it lets out a gentle growl, reaching out to hit Stiles repeatedly to get his attention.

"Um," I stutter, "D-Derek?"

The fucker looks me dead in the eye, lolls out his tongue, and licks me from collar bone to forehead. Stiles's howls of laughter last until they are abruptly replaced by his squawks of horror as he's pinned to the ground and given his own slobbery kisses.

XXXXXXXXXX