Chapter 4.5

We skirted around the fence, careful to stay low and out of sight from the back windows and eased open the garden gate that led into an alley connecting all our neighbour's gardens. We slid through a small gap in the gate, aware that if it opened any further it was likely to squeak, then gently slid it back into its clasp.

"Where to?" Theo whispered.

"Towards the West woodland." I knew the general direction from the day before, I didn't need to check the map, and we needed to get out of the alley as soon as possible, if we got blocked in there it would be game over.

The sun was still low in the sky, sending warm orange hues and deep long shadows in our path. It was still cold, and the dew was only just melting on the patches of lawn we passed. We were cautious at first, double-checking for any activity before crossing roads, and making sure we kept to the sides of the streets, in the shadow of the buildings. But it soon came apparent that there weren't any more Garlantian soldiers further East than we were. Everywhere was deadly quiet, and it began to feel like we were the only ones left in the world.

Tommy kept ogling at the most mundane things off the street, I think he was a nervous talker because whenever there was a moment of silence he would come up with some other overly ordinary train of thought and go off on a tangent about nothing as if he couldn't stand the silence. I understood to an extent it was his way of distracting himself from the things he was worried about.

He was talking about the first time he saw a real dog when he suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. His face had fallen, and his expression was a million miles away. His shoulders sagged and his voice stopped in mid-sentence as if both his mind and his body hit pause.

"Tommy?" Theo asked, but he doesn't reply. His eyes focus on a red scarf discarded in the middle of the road. It was a bit muddy and had clearly been rained on, and I think there were traces of blood on it, but I couldn't have been sure, given how long it had been there.

I gently tapped him on the shoulder, and he flinched slightly, shocked at my touch, but it shakes him out of the trance, and he looks up in surprise. Then something snaps, and tears spill from his eyes. He clings to me like his life depends on it. I think before I would have stood there without knowing what to do, but Sean and Elliana had treated me with such kindness and understanding, now it was my turn. I think if anyone would understand what he'd gone through, I could.

So, we stood there for maybe ten minutes, as he clung to me and sobbed into the folds of my clothes, repeating over and over "I can't go back. I can't go back. I can't go back."

"It's okay. We're not going back. Not ever." I soothed. I truly meant it, no matter what happened next, that was one thing I knew.

I slowly guided him past the red scarf, and he remained buried in my jacket until it was far in the distance. We walked for a bit longer until we found a small sector of grass, surrounded by a few blossom trees that provided a nice resting space. Petals floated around us, like springtime snow, and birds chattered in the treetops, curious to who had invaded their home.

I rested my back against a tree and nibbled on some food I brought with us.

"I feel kind of stupid." Tommy admitted his cheeks a little pink.

"You don't have anything to be ashamed of." Theo interjected.

"Sometimes you can get reminded of things you'd rather forget. It's not something you can help. I was more of a mess than you when I first came here. You don't have to worry." I reassured him.

"Thanks." He muttered. He didn't offer to tell us what that was all about, and we didn't press for an answer. A few minutes later he was calm again and balancing on his tiptoes to try and pluck a flower out of the tree. He almost fell over in the process but managed to nip one with the tips of his fingers.

"Are you both ready?" Theo asked, brushing off her clothes and swinging her backpack over her shoulder.

I nodded, picking myself up from the trunk of the tree, while Tommy slipped the flower in his breast pocket and energetically turned to Theo to lead the way.

I found myself smiling at how happy Tommy seemed to be, even though it was the end of our lives as we knew it. I guess for some that were a good thing. As the day wore on, it got hotter, and we quickly ran through our water supplies.

By then, we were out of even the suburbs, so there weren't any shops or buildings that had running water. Instead, we checked the map and found a nearby river that wasn't too far off course.

"Are you sure it's safe to drink?" She asked, looking uncertain, and I almost laughed at her. When I was in Garlantia I would have drunk out of a puddle if I had to. The river was shallow and had clear sparkling water skimming over the rocks in its bed. "There could be bacteria or pollution in it." She added, unsure.

"I think it's okay." I commented just after Tommy dipped his entire face in the water, and then flicked his head back, swinging his wet hair out of his eyes, and showering us with water.

"Tommy! What are you, a dog?" Theo tried to shield herself but it was too late and she frowned at him.

"It tastes great. You should try some." He ignored her comment and wiped the water off his face.

Looking slightly uneasy, she gingerly dipped the rim of her bottle into the river to fill it, and nervously took a sip from the bottle.

"See? It nice!" Tommy grinned.

"At least it's cold." She mumbled, before filling the other two empty bottles. I sat away from the river where the ground was dry and laid the map flat on the floor. From our little diversion and travelling slower than normal, it looked unlikely that we could get there before nightfall. The darkness would make it almost impossible to find a one-hundred-year-old abandoned village and possibly hidden entrance to the FDD.

"The FDD is Northwest from here, but we aren't going to get there before dark. Why don't we continue West where there's farmland and we might be able to find some shelter?"

"Sounds good. How long will it take us?" She asked.

I showed her the map and traced along the new path with my finger. "It will take us about five miles out of the way, but we're not going to make it tonight anyway. It would take about two hours at our pace, maybe more." I estimated.

"That should be okay." She agreed.

"Shall we get going then?" I called, attempting to pull Tommy away from trying to catch one of the little fish that swam in the river with his bare hands.

"What are you doing?" Theo laughed.

"I heard that you can eat fish, but I've never had some." He answered with a look of concentration on his face.

We both laughed and pulled him away. "We'll get you some fish to eat later."