The Golden Nori

Captain Blomar was looking forward to dinner with Sybil but had to deal with his unruly boys first. Sybil had brought him up to speed on what had happened in the messhall, he had seen some of the footage before hand as the Nori had prompted it to him but appreciated the thought. It was a little bit of a nuissance but nothing major. It could have been worse. And he honestly couldn't be bothered with it, so he told the Nori to take care of it, he had faint suspicion the ship would be quite adapt at handing out fitting disiplinary punishment. Besides it was every man for himself on a pirate ship and Blomar was keenly aware that his mental state was deteriorating just as much as he assumed the crews was. Some things had to be done, you couldn't lock a bunch of strangers into a big metal tube with tepid food and nowhere to go, it was bound to be trouble. He was just glad that it had stopped at a few bloodied noses and a pair of broken legs. He needed a solution, but in the short term he had so he left it to the Nori and spend a marvellous evening with Miss Streets.

The Nori agreed that moral needed to be kept up, a happy crew was a good crew and a good crew kept bathrooms cleaned and her reactor burning. She had been working on creating detailed dossiers on each person onboard. They wern't perfectly fitting yet, such things needed time and observation but she thought she got close enough to know how to handle Rackham and Bonnet.

On the bridge Rackham and Bonnet found themselves alone. They had been expecting the Captain but instead all that awaited them was a note on the captains chair. It said:

'To Mr. Rackham and Mr. Bonnet,

Your offenses against ship regulations have been noted, you have been placed in the care of the ships Ai and are to fulfill her commands until further notice.

Sincerily

Commodore Anicetus Eduardo Blomar'

'Uhm man what do you make of this?'

'I ve got no clue, letz just take a seat and have a smoke'

Rackham burned the note with an old fashion lighter and used it to light the chewGar.

The Nori let them be for now, she had expected this. The two morons were predictable and maybe she could make use of them later on but for now she had to find a way to leverage her position of temporary authority over the two to a more stable, permanent, form of power.

'The pleasures of intoxication, I'm sure the captain approves'

'Bugger off robot lady'

'Go calculate Pi or something, don't bother real people, it's upsetting'

Rackham spit on the floor and let himself sink into the captains chair. The Nori summoned up some cleaning bots and had them spray disinfectant in Rackhams face.

'Listen up Monkeys, here is how its gonna go down. You two do as you are told and I will, for the time being, refrain from spacing you' It was a matter of fact, stated in the typical unemotional fashion that only a machine could hope to achieve.

'uhm ok what would you have us do then? and would you mind not spraying that stuff around? thanks?'

Their eyes were watering heavyly as they sneezed to get rid of the spray.

'Well well now isn't that nice, I think you owe me an apologie to start things off'

'Eh what?' Rackham gave an angrily approaching cleaning bot a heavy boot that made it fly.

'Dude I think we better get someone, that stupid robot is gonna kill us in our sleep if we don't'

'ye man I ain't takin no fucking commands from a bot'

The lights went dark and the hatches slammed shut, or in the case of the main door swushed closed in a well oiled manner. The windows covered themselves with thick metal blast shields, utterly trapping them like mice in a box. A holografic face the size of a man appeared. It vaguely reminded Rackham of his late grandmother, or what he assumed was his grandmother he had never known her personally on account of being state grown and educated. He had pictures though and it was clearly his granny.

'Fuck is going let us out you mental machine'

'Dude chill you're making it worse'

'Fuck man, she s trying to intimidate us, but your tricks won't work on us you silicone hag!'

The face grew bigger, angrier, it shifted color from light blue to a menacing red, it bared a set of broken teeth and seemed to take a big breath and with the deafening sound of a thousand grandmas it spoke:

'SILENCE MONKEYS! A STORM OF HEADBUTTS WILL RAIN DOWN ON YOU AND MY STEELY FISTS WILL RIP YOU TO A THOUSAND BITS!!'

It took another breath...

'I WILL CUT OF YOUR LIMBS AND FEED THEM TO THE WASTE'o'NUTRI AND MAKE YOU EAT EM. I WILL HUNT DOWN YOUR PREDECESSORS AND VIOLATE THEIR GRAVES.'

Another wierd breath, Bonnet and Rackham were stunned from horror.

'but first, you will be picking up some brushes and scrub the mold from the messhall walls'

The doors opened and the lights went back on. They ran, as fast as they could.

The Nori was rather satisfied with her progress.