Black Heart

"Take it easy, Kim Hyun-Gi." James carried me to my bedroom and gently placed me on my bed. "I'll be back with the first aid kit in a minute." He got up and left me alone in the room.

I couldn't believe it. I had injured both my feet in such a short period of time. My left ankle was broken, and my right foot was cut. At least the cut managed to heal a bit, but it still hurt.

James returned with the kit and placed it on the bed. He placed all his attention on my foot. I watched him as he gently massaged my ankle to check if it was broken. It was generous of him. Even after I hurt his feelings by running away from him, he still acted nice to me. I couldn't understand why. Out of all people, why me? Why did he choose to like me? I was skinny, pale, and weak. I was illiterate, and I didn't know how to do math. All the clothes I wore were so big on me; even the smallest girl size was baggy on me. I couldn't even bear to look at myself in the mirror because all I saw was the Caretaker's child. Any child that belonged to the Caretaker was a burden; it was unwanted. That was what I was, and it was what I always would be.

"Does it hurt a lot?" James asked, pressing my ankle.

"No," I said.

"How about now?" He pressed it a bit harder.

"No."

He raised a questioning eyebrow. He decided to give my ankle a slight twist, not thinking whether I would scream or not. But I didn't. Even though I flinched a little, the pain was nothing. If only he understood that I wasn't like any normal person. Whenever I stepped on a sharp stone with my barefoot, I didn't cry. Whenever I cut myself, I didn't cry. Whenever I accidentally bit my tongue hard while eating, I didn't cry. I didn't even tear up, for I knew damn well that I had experienced much worse than some amateur accidents.

"Wow." James was shocked. "You're really strong for your age."

"Oh, thanks. It's no big deal, really." I said smiling.

James took a bandage from the kit and started wrapping my foot with it. He made a little pattern as he did so. Over the ankle, under the heel, and he repeated it until my ankle was fully bandaged. I never realized I was staring at him the whole time until his eyes met mine again.

He was handsome indeed, and anyone could get lost in those eyes. And that was exactly what happened. My muddy brown eyes wandered off into his forest green eyes. The adventure in his forest green eyes was nothing compared to the adventure I'd have while walking through the actual forest. The real forest was big, but James' was extraordinary.

I broke eye contact by looking the other way. I wasn't about to find myself kissing him again. My intentions were not to run away again. The next move would be me getting James punched in the face. My fists were small, but the strength they had was enough to break at least three nose bones.

"Hyun-gi, about what happened in the car, I..."

"It's my fault." I interrupted, "I shouldn't have run away from you like that. It was stupid, and I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry."

"Hurt my feelings? No. I thought I was the one who hurt your feelings and that you saw me as nothing but a friend. Or even less."

"James," I placed my hand over his. "When I yelled at you for being attacked by the monster, I meant it. But only because I care deeply about you, and I like you a lot. You're the first person I've actually liked since... birth, I guess. I don't ever want to lose you."

"But then why did you run away?"

"Well, I..."

The truth was that I didn't know. I thought I had the answer to that question, but for some reason it just vanished. It wasn't because he was too old for me, and it wasn't because he kissed me without my permission. When I ran away from James, I had so many mixed feelings in my heart. It was as if a bunch of colors were being mixed inside me, creating an ugly black colour in my heart.

"James, I..."

James sighed. "It's okay. You don't need to tell me. I understand."

No, he didn't.

He got up and took the first-aid kit.

"You should get some rest. It's been a long day."

"What about you?" I asked

"What about me?"

"Aren't you going to rest too?"

"I'm not tired. I still need to finish some work on my laptop."

Just as he was about to leave, I grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Could you please stay here a bit longer? At least until I fall asleep."

Did I hear myself correctly? I just asked an older man to stay in the same bedroom with me. No good ever came from that. That wasn't something a normal teenager would ask a grownup, unless they were asking their parent. But James wasn't my dad; that was the problem. I wasn't sure what had become of me, but whatever it was, it was eating me inside.

"I don't know. I...I don't think I should."James stuttered

"James, it's been a long day. Let's not argue, please?"

James could never beat me in an argument. My talking skills were deadly; my words cut like knives. When I said something, I meant it from the bottom of my heart. If anyone wanted to fight me, I didn't always need my fists to defend me. My words were my weapons, and they could kill any day.

He sighed in defeat, "Fine, I'll be right back."

When he came back to the room, he climbed onto the other side of my bed and lay next to me. I made sure I kept my distance from him because I didn't want any funny business from him. His breathing was louder than the thunder outside. It was actually soothing. The more he breathed, the more relaxed I felt because I knew that he was next to me, alive. Now that there was no monster nearby, we were both safe together.

I closed my eyes and dozed off. I hoped to have a good dream again, especially since James was next to me. Even if I had a nightmare, I wished James would be there with me in it. I would rather have bad times with him than have good times with someone else. I liked James a lot. And I knew he liked me too. I just wished he knew how much my heart cared for him.

After a few moments of dozing off, I thought I had entered dream land because I felt someone's lips peck mine softly. I couldn't tell whether it was a dream or not, but whatever it was, it definitely brought light to my black heart.