Weak Intent

"How have you been doing?" He brought the glass of wine to his lips while sweeping his gaze all over her as if scanning every nook and cranny for any imperfection. His face was stoic but it had some sort of sympathy written all over it.

"I don't know," she replied. "I guess I've been 'existing' pretty well."

Lucas sighed and dropped the glass of wine then gave her a square look. She looked away and rubbed her arm timidly. Her eyes darted to the other table and the people who were seated there discussing.

"It's not your fault, Valerie." He said.

"No shit." She replied calmly.

"I'm serious," he sighed. "I know it must be hard for you…"

"Hard?" she scoffed. "My father doesn't even want to speak to me and I've lost my life all because of your brother."

Lucas fell silent and his gaze became soft. He drank his wine again as if it was the only thing that could tranquilise his aching soul. He eyed her for a split second before retracting his gaze.

They sat there in silence for a while and only occasionally drank. After a while, Lucas decided to speak. "I don't think your father doesn't want to see you."

Arianna nodded and looked at her glass which was half way down. She turned it in her hand slowly, her gaze fixed on the swirling pink liquid inside.

"How does he treat you?"

"Huh?"

Lucas took a deep breath then rephrased. "I mean does he treat you well? Does he raise his hand on you?"

Valerie fell back into the abyss of thoughts and regrets. Her eyes became vacant as she pondered over the question. She shook her head. "I won't say he treats me bad or well. He has never raised a finger at me and we live like aliens.

"He doesn't talk to me and I don't talk to him and it's better that way. It's better that way…"

Lucas looked at her glazed eyes and the words stuck to his throat. He had to clear his throat before venturing. "I'm sorry."

Valerie smiled bitterly. A rare occasion she had to show a smile. "It's not your fault."

"No," Lucas insisted. "You don't deserve this. Any of it."

Valerie became silent and only looked at the man opposite her as he kept his face down.

"If he ever touches you…" he wiped his mouth and lifted his face to meet her eyes. "…if he ever does anything to you just tell me and I'll beat the shit out of him."

"I know." She knew. Lucas was a good man, completely unlike his brother. He was someone who made another's afflictions his own. He had been the one to take care of her while she was in the hospital after being raped an entire night.

He was the first person that she saw the moment she opened her eyes. Right there, by the foot of her bed, he sat with his phone in hand. He had given her a bedazzling smile that morning. That morning just before she was informed that she was going to be shipped off together with the person that assaulted her.

From that day she knew that her life was over and done with. She didn't have a say in the matter. True she could have committed suicide and she did consider that option but for what purpose? She was the one who was wronged.

If anyone deserved the death sentence then it was Oliver. Despite all the hate and pain she harboured in her, she still found herself hesitating to act on her plans. She couldn't kill him. She couldn't murder him in cold blood.

She wasn't a monster and was definitely not wired like that. Every night she would have the scenarios play out in loop in her head. How everything would work out after she killed him. She didn't mind going to jail for it.

One night she had sneaked up to him with a knife in hand. He was sleeping on the sofa like a baby. She had held the knife up, prepared to stab him to death. Then she hesitated.

She couldn't do it. Oliver was sleeping in that position. He had eye bags around his eyes and his hands clutched the edges of the blanket tightly while the rest fell on the floor. He was cold and she could tell.

In that sleeping posture he just looked…innocent. She couldn't do it. She had spent that night in the room crying her eyes out.

With these thoughts, she instinctively touched her stomach. She took a deep breath and decided to tell Lucas about it. He was someone she could trust and she really needed someone to talk to. "I'm pregnant."

Lucas choked on his wine. He dropped the glass and his face showed a look of bewilderment. It took him a while to compose himself. "Does he know?"

Valerie nodded. "I told him about it."

"What was his reaction?"

She shrugged. "He wants me to keep it."

"And you disagree?"

She nodded. "I can't keep this baby. It is a constant reminder."

Lucas choked again. He wanted so badly to plead with her to keep the child but in the end he swallowed his words as an unwanted lump. What rights did he have?

"How old is it?"

She held up two fingers. "Barely two months and a week."

Lucas looked at her intensely. She seemed…unusually bright today. She didn't seem sad at all. Two months ago she was a shadow of her former self. It was only now that he discovered the stupidity of his question.

Valerie looked weak and thin. She looked pale and malnourished. He took in all these changes silently. After a while he muttered. "…you're going to have a baby…"

Valerie pretended to not have heard him. It was only a bit later that she decided to leave and return home.

Lucas stood there at the table with a distant gaze. It was unknown when the tears had formed but the drops rolled down his cheeks like a heavy downpour.

He wiped his face and stood up. He pulled out his wallet and threw a few notes on the table and rushed out.