Dana walked down the side of the river talking with Jeremy talk about food. Jeremy insisted that you could live your whole life on cheese and cheese alone. Dana disagreed as they approached the next river. At the next river crossing Jeremy climbed up to the top of Dana's head and looked around. Then he said, "There are taller building to the right. We should turn right next time we get the chance."
Dana disagreed, "But I have been headed straight for… for a long time. At least 20 rivers now."
"Just because you have been doing it doesn't make it right." Jeremy jumped back to her shoulder, "Sounds like something my mom would say."
After crossing the river Dana turned right and waited to cross the river again. While she waited, she said, "I can't remember my mom. At least not very well. Whenever I think about her, I get a headache."
Jeremy nodded, "I think that is normal, parents are a headache."
Crossing the river Dana looked to Jeremy and asked, "Okay, we turned right. Now what?"
Jeremy pulled out his wand and casted a quick spell. With a small flash of light, a white paper appeared in his hand. "Next chance you get turn left."
"Turn left?!" Dana said furiously, "You just said to turn right!"
Jeremy let go of the paper as it vanished into thin air. Then he said, "Yes, I did because the courthouse is that way. However, I just cast a locator spell to find us a map. The paper told me to tell you to turn left. SO, turn left the next chance you get." Dana rolled her eyes at him, but Jeremy was not done talking it, "You think I don't know what I am talking about. But I do. So just keep calm and we will get through this together."
As Dana approached the next river, she made a left turn around the nearest tree. Their conversation must have been distracting her because this puts her less than 30 feet away from a marshmallow and flashing lights. The sight of flashing lights got her attention first. Dana's heart skipped a beat as she froze in her steps. The owner of the marshmallow was a dog standing nearby. And this dog was large. Possible of the Great Dane bloodline.
Jeremy said, "What are you doing?! HIDE!" as Dana quickly regained composure as she quickly ducked down behind an un-moving mango. Jeremy held on for dear life to her shirt as she crouched down. He scrambled back up onto her shoulder and said, "Geez, you could at least warn me first."
Jeremy fixed his wizard hat and said, "Okay, stay calm and don't move. I will take a look." Jeremy climbed up on top of Dana's head. He peaked out at the Dog then whispered, "Stand up a little bit so I can see." Dana stood up just a bit until Jeremy said, "That's good, that's good." Jeremy looked at the dog for a moment then climbed back down to her shoulder. He whispered, "Well the good news is that he didn't see us. The bad news is that we are not going anywhere until he moves."
Dana crouched back down and said, "Great, what are we going to do now?"
Jeremy looked around and weighed the options. "Okay, we can try to cross the river here to get on the other side. There is a chance that someone would see us and draw the dog's attention. In that case we would have to run for it. Dogs are fast so we probably wouldn't get far. The other choice is the trees. We run into the trees and hope he doesn't see us. If he does, we will be chased but at least we have places to hide."
Dana shook her head, "No, those are too risky. What other options are there?"
"Well, we could surrender…"
"Not an option! We should just wait for him to leave."
Jeremy disagreed, "We can't sit here all day until he leaves. He could be here for hours. They are called Guard Dogs for a reason. They sit, they watch. All they have is time." Jeremy waved his wand around and said, "I can help. I have enough charge on my wand to cast something good. I will cast invisibility on you. However, this spell is for a mouse my size. If I cast it on you, it will only last a few seconds."
"What? Only a few seconds?!" Dana complained.
"Don't blame me. I wasn't ready to hide someone of your size. Maybe you should think about losing some weight. I hope you are ready…" And with that Jeremy casted the spell, "Invisco!" Dana looked down as her hand and body started to fade away. Within seconds she was completely invisible. Jeremy pulled on her invisible hair and said, "Now's your only chance! GO!"
Dana ran out from behind the mango and darted in between the trees. Before she even made it to the tree line her invisibility started to wear off. Luckily, the spell wore off slowly, so she was still hard to see even if she was not fully invisible. Once out of sight, Dana leaned against a tree and waited. She looked back and didn't see the dog. That was a good sign.
Jeremy climbed down from her shoulder and peaked around the edge of the tree. He looked back to Dana and gave her a thumbs up. Dana let out a sigh of relief. Jeremy returned to her and climbed up to her shoulder and whispered, "Some dogs are hard of hearing. It usually from all the sirens on their Marshmallows. It's loud, you know?"
Dana nodded to agree without saying anything. She turned to walk further into the forest. Oddly enough there was a giant shoe sitting in between the trees. As Dana looked at it a monkey came out of a hole nearby and unloading a few boxes out of the back. Dana was hesitant to walk by him. Once the monkey had unloaded three boxes out of the giant shoe, he picked them up and walked back into the hole that he came out of. Jeremy whispered, "Okay you are good. Go quickly, before he comes back." Dana squeezed passed the giant shoe and crouched down in front, out of sight. However, this was the worst thing she could have done. Suddenly the shoe made a loud honking noise. Dana stood up startled by the loud noise. In her rush to avoid the monkey with the boxes Dana did not notice the monkey sitting inside the shoe.
"Oh, we are so busted." Jeremy said as he pointed to the second monkey.
The second monkey leaned outside the driver side window and shouted, "Hey kid, what the heck do you think you are doing?!"
Dana did not answer. She bolted the other direction as fast as her legs could carry her. Even Jeremy had to hold onto her shirt, or he would have fallen off. Dana ran and changed directions around the trees. As she ran, she could hear the two monkeys shouting. Their voices were too far away hear though. Dana darted between trees until she came to a dead-end. There was a large boulder sitting in the path blocking her advance. Dana tried to squeeze around it, but she couldn't.
Dana fell back and looked around for another option. She saw some tall grass. This was a good hiding place. She crawled into the grass far enough that she was sure the monkeys couldn't see her. She sat down and leaned against a tree to listen. In the quiet of the jungle all she could hear was her own breathing. She held her breath to listen and she could still here them talking. Their voices bounce off the trees to her ears. Dana looked at Jeremy and asked, "DO you think they will give up?"
"No," Jeremy said, "All their shouting will get that dog's attention."
"Then what?"
"Well, then they will explain to the dog that they saw a random kid and a mouse running around without adult supervision."
"And then what?"
"Then, the dog will ask them to point the way so he can look for us."
"…and then?"
"THEN he will come over here and arrest you for asking me all these questions."
With that Dana stopped asking questions. Only for a second though. She looked back in the direction of the monkeys and asked Jeremy, "Can you do me a favor and go see what they are doing?"
"What? Why am I sticking my neck out here? You are the curious one. Why don't you go look?"
"Because I am huge compared to you. You are small. They won't see you. Please Jeremy, I want to know what they are doing."
Jeremy resisted. "No thanks, I was telling you have to be stealthy, but then you took off and landed yourself in a dead-end. Technically this is all your fault. Did I say run like crazy and nearly kill your Wizard mouse friend? No. I didn't say that."
Dana looked at him with big eyes, "Jeremy! Please go look." Jeremy took a deep breath and climbed down from Dana's shoulder and ran back in the direction they had come from. Dana watched until he was out of sight. Seeing him leave Dana realized she was completely alone now. She looked around really taking in the surrounding forest. Where would she go if she needed to hide? She looked back to Jeremy, but he was gone. A minute felt like an hour.
Within a few seconds Jeremy returned. He climbed onto her leg and looked her dead in the eyes. He said, "Don't panic when I tell you this. The two monkeys are talking with the Great Dane. They pointed in this direction and started walking this way."
Dana panicked, "Wha.."
Jeremy interrupted her, "I said DON'T panic. The more noise you make easier they will hear us. In every situation you have two options. Fight, hide, or run."
Dana looked confused, "That's three options."
Jeremy jumped off Dana's leg and peek around the tree at the approaching threat. Then he said, "Yes, but fighting isn't an option I would entertain right now. I could take out one or two with my magic, but you would be hard up to take down anything their size." He jumped up on Dana's legs then climbed up her shirt back to her shoulder. Once back up on her shoulder he stood up and said, "We should hide. We are small enough to be overlooked. Plus, it is dark some they won't see us."
Dana started to crawl away from the tree. Suddenly a voice cut through the air, "Hello? Anyone there?" It was a deep voice. The kind a Great Dane would have. Dana stopped crawling and waited. "Anyone there? I have some cookies here. Way too many for me to eat by myself."
Jeremy pulled Dana hair to get her attention. He whispered, "He's lying. He doesn't have any cookies."
Dana whispered back, "No kidding, what are we going to do?" Jeremy just shrugged at her. Dana stiffened with the beam of a flashlight appeared. It waved back and forth between the trees. Dana whispered to Jeremy, "The Great Dane has a flashlight? What are we going to do now?" The sound of footsteps came closer. Dana held her hand over her mouth to try and muffle her breath.
Jeremy leaned around Dana's head to see the legs of the Great Dane only a few feet away. With a shocked face he whispers in Dana's ear, "He's on us." Jeremy leaned back to the safety of Dana's shoulder and looked to his wand. With another whisper he says, "Rexart Ealitus." The wand made a small flash then a gray cloud appears. The cloud circled a bit then focused in on a doorknob. This doorknob was not like most. It was brass in color, but it stuck out of the ground like a mushroom. Dana looked at the doorknob confused. She looked at Jeremy and he pointed to it without saying a word. Dana dared not speak as the Great Dane was so close by. Bear in mind, a doorknob anywhere else would make sense, but this one was in the floor of the jungle.
Suddenly the booming voice of the Great Dane spoke again, "I know you are here. There is nowhere to run. Let's talk about this."
Dana's sudden panic turned to action. She grabbed the doorknob and turned it as hard as she could. With a little squeak the doorknob turned and opened. Unfortunately, the area Dana was sitting was the door. As the knob turned, she fell into it like a trapdoor. She quickly found herself weightless and falling into the doorway. The fall was short but felt like an eternity. With a small whimper Dana landed on something soft. She looked up as leaves and grass landed on her head. The light from the open door blinded her but only for a second. Just as quickly as it opened the door quickly closed leaving her in the dark.
Dana looked to Jeremy who was clinging to her shoulder for dear life, "Jeremy are you okay?"
Jeremy looked terrified, but he spoke, "Never better. Where are we?" Dana looked around, but they were in the dark. The interior of this new room was pitch black. She looked closer at Jeremy, and she could tell he still had his eyes closed. She poked him once and he opened one eye. He smiled and said, "Sorry, I thought you were going to land on me." Jeremy stood up on Dana's shoulder and said, "I thought maybe you wouldn't mind if I cast a bit of a spell."
Dana agreed, "Oh it's fine Jeremy. Anything to get away from there. But where are we?"
Jeremy said, "Not sure. It changes every time I use it. Not the room, the spell. I am surprised the wand was charged enough to pull it off. The spell alters the fabric of reality as we know it to bring us… here. Wherever here is." Jeremy points up to the doorway. "Up there is the surface of the forest where the dog and monkeys are looking for us. We are about 9 or 10 feet below them in another world."
Dana's eye adjusted to the darkness. This room really was an alteration of reality. There is a table with chairs on the left wall. There was a kitchen and tv stand in the corner facing up. Everything in it was turned 90 degrees and Dana was sitting on the wall. The soft object she landed on was a couch. But she didn't land on the cushions. She landed on the back rest. She started to question Jeremy, "How is this possible? Does your spell effect gravity too?"
"No," Jeremy exclaimed, "in this reality this is normal. I guess." Jeremy gave her a puzzled look, "Remember 5 seconds ago when I said this spell alters reality?" Dana nods at him, Jeremy continues, "It's… Altered. A little. But come on! It's fine. We will just wait in here for the coast to be clear then we can leave."
Dana was upset, "How are we going to get out of this place? The door is way up there?"
Without warning a light came on blinding Dana and Jeremy. Dana covered her eyes as a soothing voice said, "No one is leaving here without saying hi to Granny first." Dana removed her hand to see an old woman standing on the ceiling. While the furniture of this room was on the floor, Dana and Jeremy were on the wall, and this old woman was standing on the ceiling. She was wearing an old faded red dress with flowers on it. Her face was wrinkled, and her hair was mostly gray. Her glasses somehow stayed on her face despite her position on the ceiling. The old woman stepped through the doorway leading from the bedroom to the kitchen and said, "You are the 3rd person to come falling into my house this week. Everyone is always running here and there. Never taking the time to see old Granny." She walks over to Dana and held out her hand. She said, "Look at you dear, so young. How old are you dear? Four maybe five years old?"
Dana took the old lady's hand as she stood up and looked at her. Granny had the friendliest smile. Dana asked her, "I am ten actually."
The old lady shook her head, "You poor thing, out wandering the jungle at such a young age." The lady walked over the kitchen and opened the cabinet door. "Don't you worry a thing dear. We will get you back on your feet." She pulled out a box of cracker and some plates.
Dana was still getting used to the bizarre situation. But she asked, "Sorry to barge in on you like this. I wasn't expecting to fall into your house. I wasn't expecting to see you on the ceiling."
Granny corrected her, "I am not on the ceiling. This is the floor. The furniture is stuck to the ceiling, and you are stuck to the wall." She walked over and reached up to the table and putting the plates on it. She stretched because as the table was very high for her height. She turned the box of crackers upside down as she poured crackers up onto each plate.
Dana looked to Jeremy and said, "Can you fix the gravity in this room?"
Granny heard her and answered her, "There is nothing needing fixing around here dear. Now come over here and have a sit down with Old Granny." She looked at Dana with kind eyes and a smile.
Dana walked over toward Granny, but she was still on the wall about five feet down from the table. From her position, she couldn't even reach it. She would need to grow another two feet. Dana asked, "Ummm, it is too high for me. I can't reach it."
Old Granny adjusted her glasses, "Yes I see. Help me with this, will you." Old Granny reached up to the table and pushed it sideways toward Dana. "Grab the legs."
Dana grabbed the leg of the table and pulled it down toward the wall she was standing on. With their combined efforts the table was close enough for Dana to reach the crackers. Dana grabbed a few crackers and stuffs them in her mouth. She then looked at Jeremy and offered him one too. Jeremy bowed his head and accepted her offer of cheesy crackers.
As Jeremy was biting into the cracker, Old Granny saw him for the first time. She asked, "Oh, I didn't see your little mouse friend." Granny looked at Dana and asked, "Is he keeping you company as you walk through the jungle?"
Dana nodded but Jeremy retorted, "Excuse me mama, I am not a simple traveling companion. I am Jeremy Smalls, True Wizard, Master of the arcane, and temporary Bodyguard. It is through my magical actions have we discovered your hideout."
Granny looked at Jeremy and said, "Bodyguard you said? Were you attempting to protect this little girl as you dropped her 10 feet into my house? What would you have done if you broke her leg on my couch?" Jeremy did not respond to this. He just gave Old Granny a hurtful look and shoved cracker in his mouth.
Dana interrupted the silence, "Well I am glad we found you Granny. We can help you fix your house."
Granny switched her gaze from Jeremy to Dana and said, "What needs be fixed young lady? Is there a problem that you see?"
"Yes, Granny. Your house is all wrong. Your furniture is on that wall, and you are on the ceiling! Anyone who comes in the front door will be on the wall like I am now. Jeremy is a wizard, and I am sure he knows some amazing spell that can set this place right."
Granny did not smile this time. She said nothing for a moment but then answered her, "My dear, do you think you are on the floor looking up at me? Or is it possible that you are on the wall, and I am on the floor? Or is there even a floor at all?"
Dana did not know how to answer this question. But she tried, "It's just, everything in here seems wrong…"
Granny smiled and said, "I ran a successful business once. A classic diner. People loved my cooking. Best food in the state is what people said. Some people said that I should have hired some workers to do the work for me. Add a few employees to help run the business. To help turn a profit. But I didn't listen to them. Eventually I got sick and the business shutdown. Should I have listened to them? Was I wrong?"
Dana wasn't sure how to answer, "Umm, I don't know."
Granny shook her head and said, "No deary, I loved cooking. The business came second to me. If I had hired people to cook and clean, I would have demoted myself to a manager's position." Granny walked over to the countertop and pored herself an upside-down cup of coffee. She took a sip upside-down as well. She walked back to the table and finished by saying, "What I am getting at is, everyone has their own opinion of what is important. Or what they think is right, dear."
"What I think is right?"
Granny smiled, "Yes, from your own perspective. You think things are wrong here in my house, but from my perspective you look wrong. Get it?"
Dana nodded and said, "I think so. What is right to me is wrong to you."
Granny nodded and said, "That is right. It's all a matter of perspective."
Dana thought about it as she finished eating her crackers. Once she was done, she looked around to the exit. Then she looked back to Granny and asked, "But how do we get out? We need to get back to the jungle through that door." Dana pointed to the door above that she had fallen through. Granny looked up at it and nodded to Dana. Then she walked over to the closet.
Granny said, "It's no big deal deary. We can fix you up. We will just use this old thing." Granny reached up to the closet door and opened it. Dana watched and the door swung open revealing a long tunnel inside. Bricked up in a perfect circle, the tunnel didn't seem like a tunnel. It had to be at least 20 feet long with a long ladder inside of it. At the end of the tunnel, you could see nothing but clouds and blue sky. Granny pulled the ladder out and slid it across the floor to line up the wall. Dana and Jeremy watched as Granny created them a method of escape.
Jeremy smiled at Dana and said, "That's our ticket out of here. See no problem."
"All in a day's work, deary." Granny wiped invisible sweat off of her forehead and returned to her coffee. Dana looked at the closet where the ladder came from. Just inside the door was a wooden bucket with a rope attached to the handle. As she reached for it, Dana could feel the effects of gravity pushing her away. Interesting.
Granny looked over to her and asked, "Is there something wrong dear?"
Dana turned to Granny and said, "No, nothing is wrong here. I was just admiring the amazing things in your house, Granny."
Granny smiled at this. "I have been collecting everything I could find since 1940." Then she turned to a cabinet, she reached up high, and unlocked it with a small knob. Inside was a massive collection of books. Dana walked over to look at them. Granny pulled one off the shelf and opened it. It was not a book at all. Inside was a black disk. She bent over to put the disk on a machine on top of the cabinet then looked back to Dana and said, "Are you a big fan of Glenn Miller? I have his greatest hits."
Before Dana could answer music started to play from the machine. It was… classic. As they listened to the music play, Dana noticed Granny's reaction to the song. Granny was experiencing absolute joy. She was no longer an old woman, she danced and smiled like she was a teenager again. Granny said, "This song is called, In the Mood. It was and still is my favorite."
Dana looked at Jeremy who looked very unhappy. He was using his hat to cover his ears. Clearly the music was not his style. Jeremy leaned toward Dana ear and said, "I think I am dying right now. We need to go. Don't we have to be at the courthouse today?"
Dana nodded to Jeremy and said, "Relax we will leave after this song is over. Don't be rude to Granny."
Granny continued to dance on the ceiling as Dana and Jeremy waited patiently. After a few minutes the song faded out and Granny stopped dancing. She held her chest and said, "My goodness, I haven't had that much funny in years. He has so many more good songs you should really hear them all."
For a moment Jeremy began to cry, but Dana said, "Actually Granny, we have to get going. We have to make it to the courthouse before dark."
Granny reached to the music player and turned the music down a bit. Then said, "Oh course deary, you kids should get going. I have to get back to work." She tossed her coffee cup up into the sink. "My bags aren't going to pack themselves."
Still curious Dana asked, "Where are you going Granny?"
Granny left the music playing as she stepped through the doorway back to her room. She looked back and said, "Where else would I go? Florida." Granny smiled and continued, "you know your way out, right dear?" Dana nodded. Granny smiled even bigger, "Thanks again for dropping in to see Old Granny. Come back anytime, deary." And with that Granny left.
Jeremy and Dana looked at each other for a second then Jeremy said, "We should run while we have the chance. Give me one more cracker then let's get out of here." Dana handed him a cracker then walked over to the ladder stretched across the floor. One step at a time she climbed across the floor to the door on the other side.
Dana concentrated on the steps while Jeremy said, "I have cast this spell several times. I ended up in a hot sauna once. But I have never met Granny before. I guess you never know where you will end up."
Dana continued to climb to the top. Once within reach she grabbed the doorknob and slowly opened the door. The effect of gravity did not make the door hard to move or hold open. Dana easily moved it out of the way and looked up into the jungle. Looking around, she saw no one. Dana asked Jeremy, "You think they are gone?"
Jeremy tucked his cracker under his arm and jumped off Dana's shoulder to the jungle floor. He ran off leaving Dana there for a few seconds. He returned and shouted, "All clear. No one around at all."
Dana climbed up to the jungle floor making sure not to fall back in. She got a solid footing and looked in the door one last time to see if Granny was there. With the brightness of the outdoors Granny's house looked so dark. Dana could still hear the music playing but just as before the door slammed shut leaving a doorknob sticking out of the ground like a mushroom.
"Finally," Jeremy said as he waved his wand at the brass doorknob. With another small flash a gray cloud appeared, circled the doorknob, and disappeared. The doorknob vanished without a trace. Jeremy added, "Good riddance. Granny was nice but that music was kind of annoying. Don't you think?"