Chapter 2

As my eyes reached my two siblings, they both had completely different reactions. Even though that was the hardest thing I've ever done, I wanted to laugh deep down. I looked at Valerio with his mouth wide open in disbelief. While Amia, on the other hand, had an infuriating and disregarding look. I didn't know what to say next. My head started playing tricks on me because of how none of them were saying anything. Suddenly, Valerio spoke.

"Wait, you said you're gay?"

"So that's what you had to tell us that was so important? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you accept yourself and everything but…" Amia retorted trying to turn on her cell phone.

"We already knew" Valerio said.

I couldn't believe it; it took me so much courage to be able to say it out loud and this two were acting like if I had said the world, is round. But wait, did they both just say they already knew? How? I had never hinted I was gay or acted like so.

"How did you guys know? Wait, does everyone know?" I asked with incredulity.

"You answer him, I don't have time for this." Amia told disinterested to Valerio

"Ok, come sit here big brother. I'll explain everything to you" Valerio said with a downgrading boasting tone.

"Here's the how. You've always liked K-pop, you hate sports outdoors, and you love romantic movies. Whenever you cook, everything has its function; for example, wooden spoons are for cooking while metal or plastic spoons are for serving. You have a morning routine that can't be messed with and if someone does, there's hell to pay for. You don't eat gluten, your breakfast consists of a poached egg, caramelized spinach with mushrooms, and a blueberry muffin, gluten-free obviously. You've never had a girlfriend or even seemed interested in one. Do you really need me to keep going or should I stop?" Valerio said with a witty frank tone.

"No, no, it's okay. No need, I understand. You've known all this time and I was clueless. I'm guessing you're ok with it, are you?" I asked in a nervously tone.

"Why wouldn't I be? It's your life, after all, I'm no one to tell you how to live it." Valerio said with a warm smile.

I didn't know what to say after. I was so glad it went so well. I felt like nothing could get me down anymore, I had the support of two people that I love and care for the most. After the whole confessing, Valerio, Amia, and I talked about how we would tell our mother. We knew it wasn't going to go well at all, but we still had hope. Hope that would be destroyed in a few hours.

"Front door open, Alarm disarmed." A faint voice said from afar.

"Kids, can you help me with the groceries?" A voice came from downstairs.

You could hear footsteps running in a hurry to go help.

"Yes mother, we're coming." I said while coming down the stairs.

After a few minutes, Valerio and I finished getting everything down from the trunk.

While we did that, Amia helped mother arrange everything in place so she could start making dinner.

"What are you making for dinner mama?" Valerio said jumping up and down excitedly.

"I'm making spaghetti with meatballs!"

I could feel how Valerio gave me a cold serious stare. I pretended like I didn't noticed a thing, but I could even feel how his gaze could pierce my soul.

"Why do you even ask? You know it's Tuesday" Amia said rankled.

"Mommy please, can we eat something else?" Valerio said with his best impression of puppy dog eyes.

He completely melted my heart away. I could see how the whole background became a blur and light would emerged out of him.

"We're eating spaghetti and that's final. It's Mando's spaghetti day." My mom said firmly.

"It's Tuesday today, have you forgotten?" Amia sneered at Valerio.

Valerio just rolled his eyes and went to feed the dogs while my mom kept preparing to make dinner. Every Tuesday, we would have spaghetti unless I said otherwise. It's one of my favorite foods.

The following day, I wanted come out to my mother and I was mortified because I knew how she felt about the LGBTQIA+ community. (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual.) I wasn't ready to do it but if I waited, I was never going to do it. My only problem is how I'll come out to her and where. I didn't want to get a beating, so my wonderful brain came out with the idea to tell her today during church. If we're in public, she wouldn't hit me in public, would she?

The day went by till it was time for church and we were all ready to go. I went in the front with my mother and Valerio and Amia went in the back of the car. Valerio was playing his video game with his airpods on and Amia on her phone like always. While my mother was driving, she noticed she had to pump gas. While she got off to put gas, I looked at Amia so I could tell her about my plan to see if it was a good one or not.

"Hey Amia, I'm planning on telling mom that I'm gay while we're at church. Do you think it's a good idea?" I said in a low tone

"Huh? Yeah, yeah, it's cool" Amia said shrugging me off.

I didn't really think much of her answer, but I felt a bit better after that.

Finally, we've had arrived at church, and we followed the usual routine. An hour has passed by, but for me it felt longer. I started having doubts, I didn't know if it was the right thing or time to do. I looked over at Amia which she was three sits away from me since I had sat first than mother, Valerio, and then Amia. She seemed so exasperated for not being able to use her phone. She finally looks at me and I waste no time and start moving my lips telling her it was time for me to tell mother about me.

"Mother I have something to tell you." I nervously said to her.

"Not now Mando, pay attention to the pastor."

"It can't wait…"

"Mando stop talking"

"Mother I'm gay!" I whispered loudly

While the words came out of my mouth, I saw Amia desperately motioning me not to do it, but it was too late. I felt a strong grip on my right arm getting tighter and tighter by the second. I looked down and I see mother grabbing my wrist with a repulsive look. I never thought I would ever see my mother look at me that way. She got up in the middle of the sermon without letting me go and walked out to the parking lot.

"What did you just say? I must be hearing wrong or something." She said with a disgusted look.

"I'm still the same person, I'm still Mando mom. Nothing has really changed, it's still me." I said with tears running down my face.

"You're not a disgusting faggot! You can't be! I've been a great mother to you and your brother and sister. How could you do that to them? What will they say and think? You outta be ashamed of yourself! What kind of an example are you giving them?" Mother said while grabbing my arms and shaking me aggressively.

"Leave him alone!" A little boy shouted with all his lungs while pushing mother away from me.

"Amia, help me out! Tell her to leave brother alone, tell her not to hurt him!" Valerio said in a whimpering voice

"Amia, get your brother and take him inside now!"

"Let me go, let go, let go!" Valerio said while trying to escape Amia's grip.

"Valerio, he can do this. Let him handle it!" Amia said to Valerio worriedly.

My heart was breaking little by little, but I kept thinking to myself everything would work out in the end. I'm her son, she wants the best for me and she's reacting like this because she loves me.

"You will change your way, look for a new path, and ask for forgiveness or you will be condemned for an eternity. Now think of your family, what will they say? Your brother and sister, how do you think they'll react to this?"

"They know, and they're fine with it." I replied, desperately hoping for acceptance.

All of a sudden, I felt a sharp blistering pain on my left cheek. Tears started forming on my eyes with no sign of stopping. Everything around me turned mute, I turned to my right, and I was stunned by what had transpired. My mother was walking away while dragging Valerio and Amia to the car. She had left without me, with no money or a way to go home. I wanted to ask someone from church if they could take me home, so I waited outside for everyone to come out. Time wasn't going fast enough, I's as if time was slowing down. After a few moments, I hear the front door open. I could tell that my face was extremely red and my eyes as well from all that crying.

"Mando are you okay?" A tall blonde lady asked with a worried voice.

"Yes, I'm okay. I'll be fine" with a defeated look.

"Do you want me to take you home?" she said with a worried look.

Once I arrived home, I see my mother and my grandmother speaking. I wasn't able to make out what they were saying, but I knew it wasn't good. As soon as they saw me come in, both of them came my way with an infuriating look. We sat and we talked about my sexual preferences, but it was mostly them just shouting and yelling at me. Everything was too one sided.

Since I stayed firm with the decision of staying true to myself, things were about to change. I became the house maid, had to do all the chores around the house, until I decided I was ready to change. The hardest thing was not being able to talk to my siblings and friends.

Well, I don't really have friends. Margo and Andrew would likely be offended if they ever heard this.