Herbs

Cassian was excited as soon as Samuel told him that the new paperwork enabled them to order some wild strawberries.

He sat in the dining room impatiently as they arrived, plenty ahead of the breakfast. He was quiet, contemplative, bothered by something that he couldn't quite place.

After yet another nightmare filled night he was exhausted. And the lack of ring on his finger was just fuelling his anxiety. He felt bare without it. He felt as if he was breaking a promise.

As his mind was wandering, his eyes looked at a distance, at a grey sky and clouds drifting quickly in wind. The weather was dreary. A reminder that spring hasn't fully came yet.

He didn't hear Isabelle come in. Not until a quiet "good morning, your highness" as she curtsied.

She was quiet. She was like a mouse within this enormous castle. But yet, her gracefulness and elegance made her seem like she fit in perfectly.

He stood up bowing his head. He was enthralled by her lips curving up. His heart fluttered and his stomach twisted. He wished to be with her forever more and longer, so that he could admire the depth of her eyes which slowly uncovered layers of her soul. So that he could explore the depths of her that no one else did.

Annette's arrival disturbed their peaceful silence.

He was agitated by the duchess' presence in this moment, and that she so keenly reached for the fruit that he wanted for Isabelle. He didn't dare to say a word.

Isabelle was taught by Annette and seemed interested in every topic. He couldn't risk offending the duchess and take away that from Isabelle.

"Enjoy." Cassian said to Isabelle as an invitation. She was careful as she picked the wild strawberry off a plate. And as she ate it, her face changed showing one emotion after another. As much as she tried to conceal it, her stormy eyes gave her away.

Cassian felt bad that he almost completely forgot how difficult it must be for her to be away from her home. He wondered if that could have been the cause of her distancing himself from him in recent days. After all, he took her away from all that she knew.

He couldn't wait to spend time with Isabelle on her own over the game of chess. He wanted to ensure she was well and he wanted to speak with her freely, and without Annette's constant babbling.

Isabelle's POV

The next day, Matilda mentioned to Isabelle in a very casual manner that Samuel departed as Isabelle was helping out in servants' quarters before breakfast. Matilda was careful to make sure that the information didn't cause suspicions to anyone who didn't know the context.

After helping Matilda and other maids, Isabelle retreated to one of the quiet rooms she used in recent days. She was anxiously pacing, worried about Samuel and if he was going to bring the plants back successfully. She was also concerned that she might be seeing Cassian later in the afternoon. She remembered vividly the promise of the game of chess. But now, she was certain that chess were to be replaced by either scolding or punishment. He was yet to do so after her misdemeanors during the fire. He was yet to send her away and tell her of the end of their marriage. Or possibly, he never intended to tell her of the end of their marriage and have that to be a punishment for her - to disgrace her and her name. Or maybe, the direct punishment wasn't enough and he felt that punishing people of Galbore was much more appropriate.

The latter would be the most hurtful one. She was certain that seeing people suffer was much worse than suffering on her own.

Her nervousness and absent-mindedness made her make a few mistakes throughout the day with Annette. It was nothing major but rather a series of small mistakes.

For example, she forgot that she should always approach her seat from the right side before sitting in her place at the dining table. Or she started stirring her tea clockwise instead of up and down as required.

They were little mistakes but they seemed big when Annette pointed them out. Little mistakes that made her feel as inadequate and stupid as she felt in Galbore castle. And what made it worse was that every single misstep was reported by Annette herself directly to Cassian, and today there will be plenty to report.

The day seemed to drag on forever. And she messed up once again, and again. She didn't spread a napkin evenly enough, she used the teaspoon instead of an egg spoon, and grapefruit spoon instead of a melon spoon, or that she thought one should drink as well when others are toasting them.

She repeated the rules over and over again:

- Never lift your dress with both hands as to not expose too much of your undergarments or your ankles.

- Woman should only walk on the left side of a man.

- Always wear your hair up unless you're in your bed chamber.

It was a tedious reminder of how Isabelle was barely taught the refined details of etiquette. Of course, she knew the basics. She knew enough to act like a noblewoman, but not a princess that she was meant to be.

Annette gave up on the lessons after lunch, complaining about Isabelle being too distracted.

Isabelle continued wandering around the castle in hope that it'll ease her mind. She heard the wind whooshing outside the windows and she saw the crowns of the trees bending to the sides.

This made her ever so worried about Samuel's journey.

Before long, afternoon has set. The stress was eating her up from inside. She felt a heavy pit in her stomach. Without much thought she walked near Cassian's study.

The door to his study was open. The two voices echoed into the hallway.

Isabelle froze as she noticed Annette near the shelve speaking excitedly, and then Cassian's deep voice answering.

She wasn't certain at first what their conversation was, but it didn't take long for her to work out that Annette was laughing at all of the mistakes that Isabelle has made today. And Cassian joined her.

They were laughing at her inadequacy and stupidity.

Somehow she wasn't as bothered about Annette laughing, but Cassian…

She stood paralysed. She didn't know why it hurt so much, as if something was piercing through her.

It hurt to see Cassian smiling and laughing with Annette. It hurt to see Cassian laugh with someone else. It hurt that he never really laughed like that with her. And it hurt that she was the one they were laughing at.

Samuel appeared beside her, silently following her gaze and studying her face. His hair was ragged by wind, his eyes showed tiredness from a long journey. His cheeks were reddened. But most of all, his eyes looked at her curiously, then with disquiet.

"Your highness." He bowed his head.

"Sir Asselin." Isabelle forced herself to look at him. She was out of view of Annette and Cassian, and she was quiet enough that her voice couldn't be heard over Annette's laugh.

"I've got what you requested."

"Thank you. If you wish, you can give it to his highness."

"Perhaps you should?" Samuel asked as he raised his brows.

Isabelle shook her head. "If you'll excuse me." She muttered as she clenched her hands.

"Where are you going?" Samuel asked directly. He heard Annette's voice come from the room.

"Can you believe that she didn't know?!"

"Really?" Cassian answered.

"I shall retire for the night." Isabelle answered as she looked down. Her cheeks were crimson red from embarrassment. "Good night, Sir Asselin."

"If you wish, your highness." Samuel replied loudly and clearly whilst bowing to her. His action was intentional. He instantly drew Cassian's attention who saw a glimpse of Isabelle as she was walking away from the room.

Cassian's friendly smile vanished, but Annette's smile remained. He looked at Samuel quizzically and Samuel looked back at him with his face being serious and filled with disappointment.

Something didn't feel right for Cassian. Isabelle was to spend the afternoon with him and he hoped to ask for her as soon as he could get rid of Annette. And she just walked away without a word of welcome.

"Your highness." Samuel bowed to Cassian as he entered the room properly. "Duchess." He looked at Annette. "I didn't mean to intrude on this intimate conversation. I only came here to bring what her highness requested for you, your highness." Samuel took out a handkerchief from a small bag he had attached to his belt. He was as careful with it as he could, following Isabelle's written instructions to the very least word.

Cassian was extremely careful as he took it from Samuel. He unwrapped it with curiosity to find a bunch of dried herbs in a silk handkerchief that had CY and white baby's breaths embroidered into it. His heart skipped a beat. The craftsmanship was breathtaking but the sentiment was more so.

He recalled that the day of their wedding Isabelle held a bouquet of baby's breaths. The stitches were all so conscientiously placed on the silk.

He was truly mesmerised but the gift, worshipping the beauty of it. He couldn't contain the joy of seeing his own initials on it.

"Oh dear, she got you some dead plants." Annette shook her head in disapproval, reminding him of her presence. "I think I ought to mention to her that this is not an appropriate gift for a prince. Honestly…." She tsked at that.

"It is Anise Hyssop, your highness." Samuel said quickly. He didn't like the way Annette was dismissing Isabelle's considerate gift and he felt like he must defend her. "Her highness found a healer among the people. She went longways to find it. As you're probably aware, Anise Hyssop can be used for…"

"Chest pains and cough." Cassian finished. Of course he knew that. He understood the meaning of Isabelle's gift instantly.

Since he learnt of her interest in medicinal herbs, he tried to read all of the books she picked in the library on the topic. He tried to learn of it enough to be able to impress her with his knowledge. Or maybe not impress. He knew that it was hard to impress Isabelle. But at the very least, he hoped to share her interest and he hoped he could share a conversation on the topic that afternoon, over the game of chess. He wanted her to know that he was paying attention to her and that he was keen to learn more about her.

"Indeed. Her highness was concerned that your cough might be bothersome." Samuel said sternly to Cassian. "She already prepared dandelion and passed it to the servants to have it brewed for you in your tea. She hoped that dandelion might be a good supplement for your health."

"Thank you, Samuel." Cassian nodded at his friend. He felt overwhelmed knowing that Isabelle cared for him as much as this. He was annoyed at himself for having thought otherwise with Isabelle using his title instead of his name again.

"She would have been better off leaving this to the royal alchemist." Annette frowned in disapproval. "It's silly for a princess to concern herself with this."

Samuel gritted his teeth. "Her highness takes pride in her ability to learn about the topics beyond her duties. She spend some time researching the best herbs and treatments as soon as she became worried for his highness. Then she went to the city of Ariadna and spoke to the people to find the person who might have it. She travelled up North to find the healer who was able to get it. But he had to prepare the plants so she send me to collect them today on her behalf. Perhaps she shouldn't put so much care in it as it is not as appreciated as it should. But her highness is a person that pours her heart out in every way possible to show her care. It's unfortunate that not everyone can appreciate it." Samuel looked back at Cassian as he said it.

"She's naive and rather silly." Annette said with a derogatory smile.

"She might be naive but she's not silly." Samuel said coldly. "She learnt how the council works within days. She understands complex matters and she is strategic."

"But that shouldn't be a matter of importance to her." Annette continued. "She's a princess."

"Shouldn't it?" Samuel tilted. "As per our law, if his highness is unable to, his next of kin must make rulings and stand in his place."

"I hardly can imagine her make a ruling that is in favour of Ariadna." Annette chuckled.

"Annette…" Cassian said coldly. Annette's tone of voice bothered him. "You are speaking of the princess and my wife. I do not appreciate you speaking of her highness in this way."

"Excuse me?" Annette turned red.

"I will speak with you another time." Cassian decided as he took the herbs. Samuel scowled at Annette. Annette looked hurt as she said a quiet goodbye and left. "Where were they from?"

"Town of Serti."

"You've said that she travelled to see the healer first before you went to get these."

"Yes?" Samuel went pale as he realised just now that he revealed a bit more to Cassian than he intended to.

"When?"

"Three days ago." Samuel bit his lip.

"Explain." Cassian ordered.

"She went to the city of Ariadna in the morning, but she didn't find what she needed, so she set off to Serti with a guard."

"That's why she returned so late." Cassian sighed. His worry over Isabelle didn't ease off but quite opposite. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Two reasons. One is that Isabelle wished to surprise you with this. Second is that I knew you would be, quite unnecessarily, overly concerned and you would try to stop her."

Cassian nodded at Samuel's answer. He looked at the beautiful embroidery in awe. His fingers moved across the carefully placed stitches.

"You are conspiring with her."

"Conspiring?"

"You decided to conceal the truth in her favour."

"Cassian…" Samuel wanted to argue in hope to stop whatever was brewing in Cassian's mind.

"She trusts you." Cassian let out yet another sigh. "I… I only wish to know if she's ever in danger. That's all that I request of you."

"Of course." Samuel agreed eagerly, happy that no fist hit his face.

"Is there anything else that I may wish to know?"

"I have clear instructions on how this should be brewed." Samuel smiled as he took out a note from Isabelle and passed it to Cassian.

"Thank you." Cassian looked up at Samuel. "Is she upset with me?"

"I do not know." Samuel answered. "I wouldn't say so. She wouldn't care this much if she were upset about you. I think that Annette's lessons are draining her."

"Is that all?" Cassian leaned back in his chair, placing his hand on his chin. "Because if it is, she surely can take breaks and send Annette away. If she dislikes the lessons or she finds them tedious, she can stop them. Please, encourage her to do so if it is the case."

"Me?"

"She seems to trust you the most." Cassian's voice was clearly full of pain that it wasn't him.

"Cassian." Samuel sighed. "It isn't that she doesn't trust you, you know that, right? She's just worried that she's upsetting or angering you. You must understand."

"I understand." Cassian's voice was sharp. "But I thought we were getting somewhere the other day. And now, she's distancing herself again. I cannot tell whether it is because of me or if there's anything else that makes her miserable." Cassian placed the handkerchief down. "I doubt there's much point in calling for her now. Do you think that she forgot about tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"I asked her to spend some time with me today since I was able to get a few hours free."

"I think that she's just tired, Cassian."

"My father is coming within days."

"Within days?" Samuel repeated.

"Yes, I received a letter today. He should be here within three to five days."

"That's earlier than expected."

"It makes me nervous." Cassian admitted. "He's too eager to come here. I am not certain whether it is about Isabelle or whether it is about how I'm ruling."

"He trusted you to rule."

"Indeed. He trusted me to rule but he has spies all around the castle still reporting to him."

"Surely not."

"Albert and Frederick." Cassian said shortly.

"Really?" Samuel was full of disbelief.

Cassian scoffed.

"Yeah. It'll be interesting to see what he wants."

Samuel and Cassian spoke for a while longer before Cassian requested a pot of boiled water to brew his tea.

He was surprised by how quickly the herbs started helping as it was the first night without many coughing fits waking him up.