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The deepest part of my soul

Shaelynn committed a great sin. There were reasons and circumstances, but a sin is still a sin. She was determined to take everything with her to the grave, but things never go as planned. As time progressed, she began to question what she thought and believed until now. She thought she would never feel guilty but she became unsure. And the persistent detective, Rhys who kept chasing her and insisted on getting to know her better didn't make the situation any better. She knew that everything around her and herself were changing too. Was it a good or a bad thing? That, she didn't know. She was chasing for answers to many questions. But different people come up with different answers, even when the question is the same. In the end, what will be the answer she will arrive at?

Reika_Izumi · 现代言情
分數不夠
37 Chs

Chapter 8

The test was successful. That's how I ended up in Shannon's room. My God, save me! Or do sinners not deserve mercy? I understand that I should be punished but isn't this too much?

I stared at my reflection. This is not me. I must have switched bodies with someone without realizing it. The girl in the mirror was just as short as me, but I don't usually do my hair, while hers was braided so it wouldn't get in the way. It was true that her hair was the same blond colour as mine and her blue eyes were moving in the same direction as mine. But these clothes! I would never wear something like that. Not of my own volition. The skirt was too short, it ended well above my knees. And the top was so tight and backless that I couldn't wear a bra underneath. I was also wearing make-up, even though I usually didn't bother with it.

„It's like throwing a bloody, juicy piece of meat to the wolves." I grunted in displeasure as I tried to pull the hem of the skirt down. Her skirt was even shorter but she was fine with it. And she was wearing a bra unlike me, because instead of showing her back, she was showing her stomach. Her red hair was up in a ponytail and her green eyes were really emphasized thanks to the makeup. She was as beautiful as always.

„You should thank me for making you this hot." She seemed really satisfied with the result. It was a very good idea to bring that pepper spray. Although I hope I don't have to use it. And If I meet someone who doesn't make me shiver in disgust, I will try to get to know them better. I swear.

„I will thank you after we survive this night." I said, avoiding my reflection. It's better not to see. Or I will run home.

„ Shaelynn." She looked at me with serious, sincere eyes. „If you feel uncomfortable in these clothes, you can change. You can choose anything from my wardrobe."

I thought about it for a moment. I felt like we were going into battle and in that case, you should wear well-fitted armor. But I felt at a disadvantage with these clothes. So I took her up on her offer. I chose skinny jeans and a loose T-shirt.

„It's so much better." I looked straight into the mirror.

„Well, you are pretty no matter what you wear. I just wanted to make you a goddess today."

„I appreciate the intention. But I think two goddesses at once would be too many for that club." I made a hand gesture to indicate that she is a goddess herself. She grinned at me.

„Let's go. We are going to have a lot of fun." I didn't say anything. The odds of me having fun are the same as the polar bear moving to Australia.

I was always jealous of her easygoing nature. Shannon can smile in a way that says that the world is a beautiful place. Of course, not every part is bad, but it is really far from wonderful. But I still have hope. As long as I'm capable of a faint smile, I am not afraid of falling into endless darkness and losing myself forever. Until then there is still hope. If I forgot how to smile, that would be the end.

„Take care of my daughter, Shaelynn." Her father said to me as he hugged Shannon. He really treasured his daughter. But she just winked at him and her father shook his head. " This girl is beyond saving."

Naturally, we went on foot, but the club was close. My legs were the most grateful for it as I was wearing an uncomfortable pair of high heels. I was so focused on my clothes that I forgot to change them.

„Hey, Shannon!" A brown-haired, skinny guy with glasses shouted shortly after we got into the club. „Come here, join us!" She grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the guy and his friends. He had three girls and two boys with him.

„I know some of them from university, but not all of them." She whispered to me as we got closer. „She's my best friend, Shaelynn." She waved at me when we were in front of them. „She rarely goes out, so please be nice to her." What an incredible introduction. „And they are Lilly, Sue, Samantha, Bill, Jackson and Liam." She introduced the others, but I forgot their names as I heard them. They didn't seem interested in me, except for the last one. He looked at me for a moment longer than the others.

„You guys haven't had anything to drink yet, have you?" Asked one of the guys.

„I will get you something!" The other guy offered it as soon as he heard it. He shot amorous glances at Shannon, but she didn't seem to notice. „What would you like to drink?"

„I'm going to have a chocolate martini." Shannon has always liked cocktails. I don't know much about them. Coffee? Yes. Alcoholic beverages? Not really. That's why I asked for the same. It can't be that bad.

„Shall we dance?" Asked the guy named Ian or Liam. From me. I wanted to run away. My throat tightened with fear and I froze. Dance? With me? He didn't look like a bad guy, but cockroaches know how to look harmless. I didn't want to dance, I wanted to disappear. But he grabbed me by the wrist before I could say anything. I shuddered, and not in a good way. Why is he dragging me around when I didn't say yes? Why won't he let me go? I don't want this! No!

I pulled my hand away forcefully and he glanced at me in surprise. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't ready for this. It was a stupid idea to come here. Don't come any closer! Don't touch me. I don't want this!

„Sorry, Liam! But she is my girl, so she only dances with me." Thankfully, Shannon came to my rescue and took my arm. She grinned mischievously and everyone started laughing. But I did get some weird looks. The girl is crazy. I could almost hear their thoughts.

Shannon pulled me into the dance floor, into the crowd. I looked at the people. They seemed to be having a good time. They looked free, unrestrained and daring. But I was never anything like that. Maybe that's why I have never danced before. But she didn't give me a choice. She started moving and I just couldn't stand there like a log. I had to do something. I took a good look at her movements and those of others, then I tried to imitate them.

The music was pounding and my blood was pumping. I began to pay less attention to people and more to the music. I no longer moved like others, but as the music dictated. I listened and my hips followed it. My whole body fell under the spell of the music and I enjoyed it. It was unusual but good. Until a man's body suddenly pressed against me from behind. That was the end of it and I froze again.

My mind was flooded with images of Seth's disgusting actions. Will I be ever free of them? Or will they make me a prisoner forever?

I spun around and found myself facing Liam. He grinned impudently at me and I wanted to slap him for ruining this rare moment I was genuinely enjoying. It's like my balloon has burst. I backed away from him. His proximity blew away my high spirits as the autumn wind blows away the leaves. I wanted to stay far away from him.

„Sorry." I muttered and left.

I heard Shannon begin scolding him, but then I was too far away and the music drowned out their voices. I don't think Liam is the problem. I am the one who is unable to let them near. When they touch me, my first thought is Seth, and that hardly creates a good mood.

I pushed through the crowd with my head down until a broad chest stood in my way and I crashed into it. I looked up the see who it was.

I froze, but not in a bad way this time. Not really. I am probably not the first to feel like time has stopped for a moment. But it wasn't just a moment. It seemed like a little eternity. But like everything else, it ended too. My heart started beating faster. Because of fear? I don't know. I got scared? Maybe.

Those familiar gold spots flashed, but not mischievously or happily. I couldn't identify the emotion on his face which appeared only for a second. Surprise?Joy? Annoyance? It could have been any of these. The outside world ceased to exist and I could only hear the music faintly: *"I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start."

Then his features hardened and he seemed to have come to a decision.

He took my hand, much more gently than Liam had, and pulled me a little closer. Strangely, I didn't feel anything out of the ordinary, but my heart was beating so fast that it was ready to give up. My instincts weren't telling me to run away. And I didn't feel the emotion I call fear. While I hesitated the music continued: *"All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost."

In the end, I let him drag me along. For a moment I was afraid he wanted to dance too, but we didn't head for the dance floor. Part of me wanted to try dancing with him, but the other part of me was scared. I didn't feel the usual disgust with him, but maybe a dance would be too much. I didn't want to ruin the whole thing. It was stupid of me, considering he was a detective, but I was enjoying the fact how different he made me feel from any other man.

We ended up on the sideline. He disappeared for a moment, then returned with two drinks. Accepting a drink from a stranger is the worst idea ever, and I would refuse it from anyone else, but I took it from him. He was a detective after all. But above all, he has honest eyes. Stupid, right? And this is how scumbags trick girls and take advantage of them. Please don't do it, girls.

I scanned the place, looking for Shannon. Our eyes met. She was searching for me too. We nodded at each other. Once we got to know each other's positions and the people around us, we felt safer. We can keep an eye on each other.

I tried the drink I was given. It was a non-alcoholic cocktail. I looked at him as I sipped my drink. His gaze was also fixed on me. I wanted to get lost in his eyes. They fascinated me from the first moment I looked into them. It gave me the illusion that everything would be alright. I wanted to get closer but I resisted.

„I didn't expect to see you here." Well, the feeling was mutual but I didn't say it. It was as if some great force had tossed us into each other's path. We always bump into each other.

„Sometimes I need some fun too." That was true, although it wasn't the way I usually do it. But I didn't want to let him know it was my first time in a club.

„Who did you come with? Is there anyone with you?" He asked with furrowed brows. He looked grumpy. Was he worried about me? Or is there some other reason? I mean, we are actually strangers. He had no reason to worry or anything.

„I came with my friend. She is over there." I pointed at Shannon, though I wasn't sure if he'd spot her among so many people. She was with Liam and seemed pretty unhappy. I wondered what they were talking about.

„Oh, I see." A very loud song was playing so he had to come a little closer to hear each other. His warm breath caressed my ear and I shivered. His voice was pleasant and I suddenly had the urge to hear him sing. I felt that it could envelop my soul and soothe it. It was absurd.

Everything was alright until it suddenly ended. One moment I felt completely normal and tried to keep the conversation going, but the next moment it all became too much. It overwhelmed me. His closeness, his voice, the warmth of his body, the music and the people around us and everything else. The interest in his eyes scared me just as much as my own emotions. First, I put some distance between us, and then I started running towards the exit. I wanted to get as far as possible from him. What the heck is wrong with me? Why did I keep him company? Have I completely lost my mind? I felt like I was losing my sanity. I did something stupid. Again. Is it really that hard to keep your distance from someone as dangerous as him? Of course, he is handsome, but there are many handsome men in the world. Why did it have to be a detective?

I only stopped when I felt I had gone far enough. I didn't see anyone until someone grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth. Well, I still couldn't see him, but I could sense him. Unfortunately. He reeked of alcohol.

„It's not your day, little girl." He hummed cheerfully. „But it is mine."

He thought he had cornered me. It was almost funny. I reached back, clutched his groins and twisted them. It was only possible because of our posture. He was too busy to restrain me so I was able to do it quickly. In other situations, it would have been hard to do.

I only let it go after I heard his scream of pain. He backed away and stared at me like I was the Antichrist himself. You were the one who attacked first, you arsehole. Accept the consequences too.

I vowed never to be helpless again. I won't! His deed unleashed the anger that had been dormant in me. Retained anger is the most dangerous because it has had time to mature, like a good wine. And it always bursts out when you least expect it.

He composed himself and took a step towards me. I quickly took out my pepper spray and aimed it at him.

„You damn bitch! I am slowly going to fuck you for this."

He roared barely intelligibly. Hardly standing on his feet, he started swinging and hitting me a few times, but I kept blowing the stuff in his face. Then he unexpectedly grabbed my shirt and anger overcame me even more. How dare he touch me? I no longer saw him, but Seth. I didn't even know anymore what I was doing. I kicked him pretty hard in the loins and he fell to the ground, but the force was so great that he tore my top. An inarticulate sound escaped my throat as I kicked him in the stomach.

„You even came back from hell to keep haunting and reminding me!" I hissed and kicked him with each word. Strongly.

„Enough. Please." He pleaded but another kick knocked the breath out of him. „Stop it! I won't hurt you anymore."

„YOU won't hurt me?" I was in disbelief. „You have done nothing else in your entire life. But if you die, you can never hurt me again. Neither Ailish. You are lucky that you never actually touched her, otherwise, you would die a painful death."

„What are you talking about?" He asked with a groan when I stopped kicking him. But he only got really scared when I pulled a knife out of my bag. But he didn't let me use it. Completely unexpectedly, he threw himself at me and pinned me to the ground. I had learned a way to get out of a situation like this, but I couldn't remember it. I became incapacitated. It's happening again. I am at the mercy of others. I hated this!

Someone shouted. Or was it me? I didn't know. Then the weight disappeared from me and I started shaking. No wonder. After all, I was shirtless. But I hardly understood all this. A pair of dark eyes captured all my attention.

„Rhys?" I whispered then nothing.

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* Avicii - Wake me up