LENIEY

"Now this is it third year students. Since you are seventy students in this class, I request all of you to form groups of five students each. Each group should present its work on Thursday, next week to the class. Co-operation is expected from each. Group discussion are expected to commence starting from today's lecture. I will be away due to a couple of reasons. In case of any issues contact the class representative who will reach out to me. Thank you for your attention. You can commence into your favorable group and please ensure y'all are five members. Any extra member lead to a zero for the whole group. Remember this group work is part of your cat and out of ten it will be." Professor James stated. I needed a group with formidable members who I can relate and be free with. My eyes are stuck on the book. I don't want to look up and see. I said earlier am not good with people. I maybe sassy sometimes but am shy in person. I hate group work it takes a lot of my energy. Last semester I remember how much I slept late typing my group's work as a punishment for not appearing in any of the discussions. I don't talk to most of my classmates. Ana differed for she's soon having a child. I was also surprised by the news. Her boyfriend is quite a gentleman though. He's accepted the child and I hear soon they'll get married wow. Yea I said wow, because I really don't think I'll ever get married. The name marriage just scares me. How can I get married to someone I don't know? His people shall become my people and the worst part is wherever he goes I shall follow. Well those church vows just make me wonder. In addition to, my mum and dad split when I was in grade three. Before, all I ever heard was them quarreling. Voices were raised and then my dad would slam the door on my mum and leave without a word. The quiver and shatter from my mum's voice would be heard. I always pretended I was asleep but I was used to hearing everything. I've searched for the right words to describe my dad but every time I think of him, I remember that day he slammed the door in front of mum's face and never returned and she easily lied to us covering that he went for a long trip 'why do parents lie?'. I have never told anyone about that not even my exes. Those are the words I keep buried and I'd rather take them to the grave. "Hey." Those words opt me out of my imaginative and memorial world. "Mmmh" I reply slowly raising my face and meet that face I knew would never seize to look at me. "Were you asleep?" He ask. It was Leniey. How, why, what the fuck is he doing here? Am astonished, my throat is dry. I don't want to look like a creep but maybe I had already looked like one. So I avert my eyes from him and look at the whole class realizing some are in groups and others like me aren't. Idiots who hate groups. I guess am not alone. Did I sleep? All I remember was the professor speaking and then the pulling of chairs then boom I left the reality world. Clearing his throat he states confidently "I've found out err…" Is he nervous? He starts again "Our group needs an extra member and I was requesting if you'd join us. You see I…, I feel you'd make a great group member." I needed a group. So I just nodded but why didn't he choose another? Why me? I guess am overthinking. I could see the class queen bee look at me with some eyes. Oh God. If looks could kill then I'd be dead by now. That's what jealousy looks like. She wishes it was her instead. Why are people so full of themselves? Maybe he notices me staring at the queen bee. He continues "I wanted you." bluffers nervously "For the groups of course." I close my books and put them in my small monkey bag looking at his group. It had no girl. "Oh Jeez am finally a bro" I say to myself. He suddenly grabs my bag zips it for me and starts walking towards the group with it. "What is he doing?" I slap that thought and rise as I straighten my tennis skirt and walk down the hallway towards them. "Welcome." The first boy states. I just stutter a thanks beneath my breath. "No, come sit here." Leniey states. "Booo" They all say in unison. "What was that for?" I just walk straight to him and sit next to him as I grab my bag which he had placed on the chair. "So wassup." I state, Girl, this where my attitude comes in after a nervous schedule. The boy Crimson I guess replies "When should we start the discussion I have a busy schedule guys. This weekend am off." "How about we do it online? Everyone is busy. We can paraphrase in here go through everything. Then I'll create a group for the five of us the discussion should start today at seven." The boy Eric says. Eric I presume is the group leader. He's always with Leniey. I guess they are quite good friends. I stopped shipping Leniey a long time ago, started focusing on myself and am happy since have become someone substantial. For the purpose of forgetting my ex I joined drama club in which we participate in set book plays at different high schools. So basically most Saturdays and Sundays am off school. Therefore, I became so busy to focus on any other things other than my studies. Am still single not yeeeyy yes! But because I need to put my life together and with my busy schedule I don't think I have time to think of relationships. "What do you think Angel?" What? Why the fuck do I have to give my opinion. Thank God despite zoning out I was still hearing what they were saying. They were talking about types of reasoning and were arguing on if there is a way someone can do something without reasoning. "Love at first sight." I say. They start laughing. "Why are they laughing?" I question inwardly. Suddenly Leniey says, "Why are y'all laughing are you in love or what?" One of the guys starts speaking while laughing "bro, you know why we are laughing or should I spill it." "Just shut up niggah. I think we should head home guys. We can do this online because y'all aren't even talking sense right now." Leniey says seeming nervous and at the same time serious. Why is he nervous though? He knows any girl would be on top of the world if he asks her out. If he loves someone he should just say it but either way all the four boys knew about what Leniey was hiding but I didn't. I was just there for the group discussion. So I rise from my sit put the book inside the bag and as I start leaving Leniey cuts me short, "Hey am sorry about those guys. They a little bit chizzy. Am also leaving we can do it together." Wait what? Am I dreaming? Is Leniey really requesting to walk out with me? The perfect thing is I had mastered how to sound confident even when nervous. How to put a glassy face even when excited. Just raise your eyebrows in a resting position, practice the mew and put a timid but classy smile perfect facial expression. "Okay." I replied. He had no bag. He carried his book by rolling it and forcing it inside his back pocket. Every boy did that but I can't lie it looked swag for him and made him look more like the bad boys in movies. As we walked outside, the silence between us turned into tension. I have never been this nervous my entire life. I was scared if I speak he might not like what I say and judge me. "The weather is great today." He starts. Is that crazy? The weather? At least talk about people or books or something from the past but well if he likes the weather then I'll move with the flow. I had no interest in today's weather whatsoever but at the moment I took time and observed it. It was sunny with the sky blue and white sheets of stratus clouds beautifying it. "It's fantastic for a perfect swim and pool party." I said. Wait what? Did I say party? He'll think of me as a party girl. Oh am an idiot why didn't I think about that. "Pool party? (Giggling) So you like pool parties?" He asked. I knew I had to reverse what I said to make a perfect expression of me. "I likened the pool parties to the weather. Doesn't mean I like parties but they seem cool." I added. "Angeee...lll" That's Jake. Some idiot of a guy. Always shouting. "Girl, we have practice at four. Don't be late." He finished. I just looked at him he was quite a distance behind us and just gave him a thumbs up. Only an hour to four so I had to stay back at school since my rental house after leaving the school hostels were quite far. "I think it's an hour to four. You can leave and come back." Leniey states. "No I can't, my house is quite far I'd rather wait till four let me go and have a snack." I wanted Leniey to leave, but at the same time wanted him to stay. I was really nervous around him and I kind of liked it. The way he spoke and the way sometimes he looked at me to figure out. Especially right now; His eyes are literally piercing through me. I can't maintain eye contact with him. That, have never mastered. He's looking through me but am looking at his ears crazy right? "Okay, I should leave then. See you tonight on the online work. Ciao." He hugs most girls in the class as a way to say bye but today he didn't. He put his hands halfway on his sagged jeans pulled it up and just looked at me. At that moment I felt the surge of blood running all through my veins. He opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He was way taller than me you can imagine a 5'1 girl talking to an almost 6'1 person. I confidently rose my eyes to look at him but at that glare I couldn't it was like dying seconds. I wouldn't understand. I had never had moments with him as this was. Most of the time was him ignoring me as I just stared at him from afar. Never heard of his dating life but I can say I didn't care. It seems he knew me my name, my admission number, my club and everything about me. Suddenly he looked away and left without a word. It was like I did something wrong. I couldn't maintain eye contact why would he leave like that? I flashed my thoughts and left to the café to by a snack. Some coke and cake would do.

Even when buying my supper, I still commemorated the incident between Leniey and me. He shoved off like lightning and every time lightning flashes there is noise loud thunder. But this won't be thunder, I feel it will be silence. A silence more likened to that of two ex-lovers who couldn't keep up with the relationship. My phone rang stuttering me from my thoughts. It was a new number. So I answered, "Hey, now there you are," Eric it was, "we are almost starting the work girl and you aren't online. Can you hurry? This work needs to be done by today we've got no time left. I'll type and print." He's demanding. Never expected of him. Anyway I entered online as demanded while walking towards my house. They were arguing on intuition again. I opened the door slowly, put my supper on the table and sat down to at least contribute one or two words. At around ten the discussion was over but my food had already gone cold. How idiotic of me. I was so caught up with the group that I forgot to eat it while replying to the texts obviously concerning the work. I had no time to heat the food so I just ate it cold and went to sleep. My mind rethought on the discussion. Leniey did not reply to any of my contributions he just accepted others and not mine. Why though? A strange cold sensation of anxiety started running down my spine and I wondered why. Either way I rested my head and just dead ass fell asleep.

The dawn light that shipped through my translucent white curtains woke me up. A new day it was, the weekend. Despite it being a great day formidable for prodigious fun, parties and anticipations, this day was odd to me. The happenings of my previous night, fresh and intact on my young brain seemed too repetitive like an ad deserveth to be blocked unless I accepted its terms and conditions for which none I knew. Leniey's coldness during the discussion made my neck tense topping my anxiety and nervousness especially when I thought of the outcome if we encounter each other again. He seemed off, as if I had done something wrong to him. Yes, we had never had heart to heart convos together, never walked together and most especially never shared a group. Love has never been my thing and being ignored has never altered my defense, but this seemed to have broken every single cell inside my being. Have learnt how to ignore despite, so I rubbed those thoughts and went to the bathroom, prepared some breakfast and then left for my drama rehearsals. We were working on a play requested by the institution. The play based on educating youths on drug abuse, early pregnancies, Sexually Transmitted Infections and other issues that involve the young adults. Rehearsals took some hours till afternoon. I hated the midday sun that shone so brightly making roads shimmer and dance like pieces of meat fried inside a full pan of heated oil. After rehearsals, I decided on buying some snacks then headed home. My weekends are always; Simple; rehearsals, home, market, at a friend's house or relishing someone's birthday. The weekend ended as fast as it had started and Monday it was. The day was quite cool, a definition of a day negotiable for all dress codes. I decided on wearing some sneakers, black body shaper jeans and a light green Lakers jersey since I was planning to run around the court after our lecture. My thoughts on Leniey were fresh but I tried so hard to ignore them. Carried my black monkey bag, some water in the translucent water bottle, locked the door and left. The class was early seven in the morning and after, the group had decided we stay and finalize on the discussion before submitting our work. By submitting it meant representing it to the whole class. My idea was to arrive a minute before the lecture commences so that I don't have to see Leniey or think about him, but I knew the group discussion would play no aid on my plot. So as planned I arrived just the moment the lecturer arrived and headed straight to the left corner sit in the second row from the front. I carefully sat and opened my book and started reviewing our previous work as the lecturer had requested each to. Leniey was always a late comer, I had people stutter and knew he was the one who had entered with his iconic demanding friend Eric. The lecturer asked them to sit and continued. All long I was just looking at my book just listening. I was stuttered when Leniey talked slowly, "Hey, why are you reading that." I was confused, 'why is he here? Next to me? Of all places jeez. Angel get a hold of yourself, please' I told myself despite the monologue and discussion that competed through my mind. I averted my eyes from the book and looked at him. For the first time I saw him clearly. He had slightly chopped off his dreads, 'he was cute'. 'Damn he was also staring at me, Fuck! Was he reading my thoughts'? I suddenly averted my eyes and looked at the lecturer who was busy explaining Sigmund Freud psychosocial behavior in human. The lecture ended and I started collecting my things in a rush to leave. Suddenly Leniey held my hand, damn. The tension between us, which I had already forgotten came faster as anxiety and fear created space for my heart to pound so fast to some point I thought it'd vacate my ribcage. I took a moment to study him, his eyes, his lips, his slender nose and suddenly I recalled the very reason I had a crush on him in first year or would I rather say since first year, his chisel shaped jawline and side beards which shoved their intention to grow in a well-trimmed line. The boy was a definition of perfect. I don't know how much I had studied him, but he clearing his throat fetched me out of unfathomable thoughts. "We had discussion, Angel? Why are you leaving so fast?" Those questions, those questions? Why those questions, my name, he said my name so perfectly at a low deep voice which seemed melodious to my ears. "I… eeeaahhh…. Yeah, discussion, sure I had forgot…, ha ha… funny of me" I hadn't forgotten, no! Just didn't want a nervous incidence. I hated feelings. Love seemed to break me. My heart was fragile and I formidable felt no one deserved to break this heart again. Luckily, the discussion went pretty efficiently, we combined all the work and all that was left is the typing job for the secretary and the printing work for the lecturer. During discussion I'd see Leniey's eyes observing me. I had declined his offer to sit beside him for I wasn't prepared for the torture he'd shoved me the previous days. The coldness, damn... I hate it. As I was leaving I saw him watch me with some eyes I couldn't understand. I wished I'd talked to him. I like listening to his voice despite how far he is. The way he pauses when reading a sentence out loud in class, the way he teases his friends during games, after class and sometimes during lessons. If he was my forever, I'd thank God for granting me a prince charming. After discussion, I took my lunch in some nearby hotel then left for my drama practice. Walking me home is Jake. Jake has always been my cast mate, colleague, friend and partner, despite us doing different courses, with him majoring on art and interior design. Have always admired his drawing expertise, to the extent, am sometimes jealous of him. On my nineteenth birthday last year, he drew my portrait as a present. He's always been my buddy. Sometimes I may put him off, push him away, but he continuously comes back like nothing happened. Have learnt my lesson though, never push away that friend who is always there for you despite what., That one who replies to your text instantly and never hesitates to call you when an opportunity arises, that one who carries you home when you are too drunk, he who takes care of you when sick. He, Jake, was the friend; the reason am in drama club today all gratitude is to him. Jake is my buddy while Ana was my friend, meaning today I have Jake alone.

Today, was the class group work representation day, as directed by the lecturer. On the previous days Tuesday and Wednesday I did not attend any of the lectures because it was the marketing hours for our drama club. The agenda was visit various institutions, organizations and areas to market ourselves for hiring. Thankfully it was a success with most institutions being aware of the greatness of our school and our drama production club, didn't seize to decline our request. Today, attendance was a must. For whoever who wouldn't attend was ought to earn a zero on his/her cat which would be disadvantageous for the outcome of the examination is not ascertained. Our group was called to present its work. I was not quite ready but the confidence of the boys made me feel less nervous. The anticipation from the lecturers and the students made me chuckle. I never expected them to pay that much attention but obviously they would. Most of the group discussion which Leniey was, every girl in the lecture room listened while scanning him, with others weirdly seducing him. He was so used to it I guess. Well, no capping, Leniey had a wonderful English with a flavor of American accent. I had ever heard some rumors that he did stay in the States, for some time, but that I ain't sure of. His words were melodious and the style in which he called out every noun to verb to adjective seemed to perfectly fit in the autonomy of his speeches. He'd make a girl drool out off his words. I wonder how his girlfriend feels having him to herself all day. Finally, we concluded and the lecturer congratulated us for the great job we'd done. We resumed our seats and other groups were called to present their work. The lecture ended with various groups having presented, a great advantage for me 'wow'. As I was heading out Eric, quickly approached me. "Hey, Angel. Do you wanna hang out with us?" That, honestly, was weird. Why? Firstly, because there was no major reason for me to hang out with them, secondly, Eric has never spoken to me on friendly terms all he did was reprimand on group works at a very serious tone, thirdly, I had rehearsals late in the evening and weekend I was most likely to be off school. I suddenly saw he was impatiently waiting for an answer when he continued, "It's Leniey's request…,, eeeh fuck,, he wants to speak to you. If you don't mind." Am I being played here? Are these men playing mind games with me? I rose my head to reach Leniey's face. He was quite far from us but am sure he could hear the whole conversation. He suddenly started approaching us. He seemed a little bit nervous or something, maybe I was overthinking. He started, "Am sorry didn't mean to send Eric, I... eehh…,,," He couldn't talk, his eyes turned a little red with some tears seeming to form, as if fighting an inner feeling which seemed to uncontrollably resist. He continued at a low tone like someone confessing deep feelings in fear of rejection and hope for appreciation and acceptance, "I… I know you have drama rehearsals and shows. Weekends and the evenings, you are most likely off free. Therefore would you mind hanging out with…... eehhh…" He looked at me for assurance then continued, "... with me, it's almost lunch. Let's go and eat something." He suddenly glared at me. His eyes pierced with the aspect of 'please say yes' I never expected this off him. I never saw myself being asked out by him. Although it was just a hangout. "My rehearsals today will be at four. Mostly I prefer this time alone, I'll despite give you the honor. Am hungry too, let's go and grab something." I expected him to say something but he just nodded and started walking away towards the door. This is what I hated about him, the cold gesture. The way he would act as if he said nothing. How did he do it? Was that how easily he'd forget someone he loved? He suddenly stood at the door and looked at me. As if waiting and so I hurried to reach him. The walk was silent from the lecture rooms towards the university main gates, it felt like forever, I could eye him watching me, as if reading my thoughts or trying to figure me out. When we arrived at the hotel, we found his friend Eric and the other group members seated in a certain table and we didn't head towards them. He sat near the entrance door and so was cornered to follow the act. It was like a date or maybe it was a major illusion. The waiter came and he stated what to eat and requested noodles for me and a coke. How did he know I take coke? It seemed he had studied me for quite some time or was someone helping him? I like coke so much more than any other soda. As for him he requested for just a glass of water and his simple meal. Food was served, but crazy fact was the urge for me to eat would not surpass my desire to keep a cool head and not embarrass myself in front of him. This was the first guy who had ever chosen to take me to a hotel and buy me lunch. Obviously we've done it with the cast and Jake but this felt special and I knew something was cooking. What I wasn't sure is if I can sustain and handle or if I'll walk away when things become tough.