It's late, it's cold, and I'm lonely, but I can't return to the Ambassador's villa yet. I need some time to think. This mission didn't end with an extra like I expected, with the little reward of an excursion with my friend, for saving the planet.
What would Shirley say?
"What are you complaining about? This entire mission was one big excursion. We went skiing, flying, hiking and shopping, we raced bikes and speedboats, we ended the story with a seven-course dinner and the most spectacular dessert you've ever tasted, and still it's not enough? You should be ashamed of yourself, my dear Watson."
Shirley's right, of course.
But it doesn't feel right.
I feel sorry.
I shouldn't have left her alone.
I should have accepted her invitation to the dance.
"Some opportunities will only happen once. You should take the chance while you can. The only way you can fail is by not trying. You'll only be sorry for letting the chance slip away. In the end, all that matters is that you have nothing left to feel sorry for. When your twenty-fifth hour comes, you can look back, but there will be no time left to correct your mistakes."
I have trouble believing what happened last week. With the flashlight of my spiPhone, I find her tombstone, in the graveyard behind the church next to the Twilight Zone. Facts, my dear Watson… All that energy Shirley has… had… Even two years after she passed away, she still motivates others to do the right thing, like that man who died two thousand years ago still motivates many people to do the right thing.
I have trouble believing.
I don't have trouble believing in science.
Energy is pure physics. Sir Isaac Newton proved, scientifically, that energy will never disappear; all it does is change form, like sunlight that grows into a tree, that changes into firewood, that turns water into steam, that makes a train move us from A to B…
Life is energy.
Energy will never disappear.
A meaningful life will provide energy forever.
A meaningful life will turn a petite woman into an immortal shero.
What will tomorrow bring? More problems? And more energy to solve them. It's after midnight. A new day has started. My horoscope might help me out.
[Monday, 29-1-2018 (Cancer): The radio will play that forgotten song. Brenda Lee will be coming on strong.]
Twenty-five cents well spent.
I take my spiPhone, turn on the radio, and search for a music channel. Music always cheers me up.
"We got a thing… Radar love."
It's Barry Hay from Golden Earring, singing a forgotten song. Their biggest hit was «Twilight Zone», but I always liked «Radar Love» better. The song ends. Another one starts.
"Each moment I wake up, before I put on my make-up, I'll say a little prayer for you…"
It's Aretha Franklin singing, but she's doing it with Shirley's voice. I'm not in the mood for jokes like this, Shirley. I let the spiPhone scan for another channel.
"Watson, take this badge from me. I can't use it anymore. It's getting dark, too dark to see. Feels like I'm knocking on heaven's door…"
It's the Guns N' Roses version, with Shirley on lead guitar. I push the button again and scan for another channel.
This time it's Tavares with Shirley in the backing vocals: "Heaven… will be missing an angel, missing one angel, my dear Watson, until you're here with me."
I turn off the radio. The spiPhone doesn't understand this story is over. I look at the screen, twice, and it confirms that all apps are closed, but still the voice of Freddie Mercury comes out of the speaker: "There's a time for us. There's a place for us. What is this power that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us? How do we live forever? Where do we live forever?"
Every story has a beginning, and every story also has an end. Life is a fairy tale, but the end is the same for every one of us, and it's not happy: you get old, your health declines, and at the end of the final chapter, you die.
«In the end, there's only one question that matters: are you sorry about anything? If you still are, you're too late, so you better finish your business before that moment comes.»
I'm sorry I didn't accept your invitation to the dance, Shirley.
I'm sorry.
It's useless.
It's too late.
It's over.
I switch off the spiPhone, take the battery out, and remove the chip. It works. For almost five whole seconds, the screen stays black, but then it switches on again, to play another song. This time it's Simple Minds who disturb the peaceful night:
"You know I'll believe in you
Oh yes, I'll believe, you know I'll believe in you
You say you'll believe
I'll believe, I'll believe, going all the way through that tunnel
Came to take me back home, came on and took me away
Ghost Dancing"
The rhythm is simple, 1 - 2 - 1 - 2. I walk at the pace of the song, daring to move my hips a bit more, swing my arms a bit higher. Dancing is easy. All you have to do is feel the beat and move your feet. It's ridiculous but… I'm in the middle of a dark park, in the middle of a bright night. There's nobody around. Nobody can see me. I close my eyes. I hold out my arms. Is it my imagination? Am I holding someone? I don't dare to look. It might scare the ghost. She's not very tall, but I feel her right hand grip my left, I feel her left hand on my side, I feel like she's waiting for something, for Jim Kerr's last words coming out of the speaker: "We all went to heaven in a stupid fantasy. Come, take me away…"
The guitar riff announces that the song has started again. It's an invitation to the dance. Everybody deserves a second chance. I gave Shirley her second chance. Now she's giving me one.
"I don't know how to do this, Shirley. Can you lead? Please?"
When I move my feet… It feels like heaven.
I float.
I fly.
I feel fantastic.
Until my head hits a tree.
It hurts like hell.
I never was a great dancer.
[Author's note: Resi, Günter, Heidi, Frans, Traudi, Whitestone, Villach, Kärnten, Austria, I hope you liked my payback for all the fun you give so generously. Your hospitality, your energy, your food and your friendship will never be forgotten. I'll be back!]