Chapter Five: her PTSD

The bath was delightful. Just as Cynthia imagined it would be. She dressed in the sweatpants and t-shirt (itsmelled of her mate). Leaving the batbroom,bathroom, glanced up and saw Conrad sitting on the chair in the corner.. He was starring at her."You clean up well." he said and winked She giggled. They climbed into bed and Conrad asked if he could hold her.. She said yes and sighed deeply.

But as the night wore on, Cynthia tossed and turned. Conrad tried to calm her but she was unable to rest. Her mind floated back to the last seventeen years of abuse and neglect and...yes...torture.

NIGHTMARE 1 (flashback)

"No! Noooo! please...no more!" Cynthia heard herself screaming as the hunter whipped the silver tipped leather whip again and again against her back. It hurt so bad. She begged. She pleaded. She screamed. The hunter, Jim, laughed. He grinned as he lashed her again and again and seemed to enjoy her begging and her screams. No one came to help her that night. Hours passed and she finally collapsed unable to bear up under the pain any more. She passed out. Then the cold, icy water dumped over her head and back startled her to consciousness. The man stood over her laughing and at the same time glaring at her. "Show yourself, wolf!" Jim yelled at her. Athena whimpered inside Cynthia, "I am sorry little one. I cannot show myself just yet. I cannot...not yet. I can take some of the pain but I cannot show myself." Cynthia knew that. "It's ok, Athena. Just stay with me. I will be the one to protect you. I can bear this for us." Just then the silver knife ripped into her thigh. The pain was horrible. She closed her eyes and the darkness took her away.

When she woke she was again alone in the dog pen laying on the concrete pad in her own dried up blood. The silver collar and chain held her there. She dragged her bloodied and torn body to the dog house just five feet behind her and collapsed. No food. No water. She closed her eyes and reached out to Athena, her wolf. "Athena? Are you there? Are you ok?" Cynthia mind linked her. Athena whimpered, "Yes. But that silver knife stab weakened me. I can take the lashes; there isn't much silver but the knife stabs are not good at all. It will take.me some time to recover enough to heal you, dear." "Don't! Do not heal me." Cynthia said. "If you do they will suspect you of being here. I can handle it." "No, you cannot. You are too malnourished and weak to heal on your own." Athena was concerned. "Then only heal me a little. Just enough to help me survive.Ok?" Cynthia knew to keep Athena hidden she COULD NOT heal much between now and the night to come when another torture session would come. The hunter was relentless. Alpha Blake did not want her dead. He wanted her to shift so he could take her as his sex toy. Until she shifted he would not touch her because he feared she was a human and he hated humans. He felt humans were inferior beings. He would not be tainted by touching one. As long as Cynthia kept Athena hidden she would be safe from rape. And the hunter would not touch her because he knew the Alpha would kill him on the spot.

Jim had hinted once that one way to get her wolf to come out would be to rape her. Alpha Blake went ballistic. "No one! I mean NO ONE touches her like that but me! And only after she shifts! Got that, human!" He was so livid he was spitting on the hunter. Cynthia heard the altercation so she knew she was safe from that torture as long as she kept Athena hidden. Athena knew. So, she hid back in the far recesses of Cynthia's mind. Cynthia tried to keep her wolf separated from her pain. But Athena insisted on helping her bear the pain by taking some of it herself. Cynthia loved her wolf and knew how hard it was for a wolf like Athena, a warrior herself to remain hidden but until the right time, she had no choice.

(END OF MEMORY)

Cynthia was tossing and turning, crying and screaming in her sleep. Nothing Conrad did helped. Then she just went silent, still. She was so still he leaned over to see if she was still breathing.She was,barely. He gently shook her, calling her, "Cynthia. Cynthia? Baby,wake up." No response. Then abruptly she sat up screaming. Her eyes were open but they were vacant. She kept screaming and crying. He tried to wake her, hold her, assure her. Nothing was helping. Simon,his Beta, ran in the room breaking the door down. He thought someone was attacking them. Simon looked at Conrad with a horrified look. Conrad mind linked him, "She is having a nightmare." Just then Cynthia bolted from the bed and climbed under the bed whimpering. Conrad was heartbroken for her. He mindlinked Simon,"I am going to kill that damn Silver Moon Pack!" Simon nodded his agreement. Cynthia settled down under the bed. Conrad climbed underneath with her taking a blanket. He cuddled up around her and placed the blanket over both of them and closed his eyes. They slept right there...

...at least until Cynthia's next nightmare.

NIGHTMARE 2 (flashback)

"You worthless piece of craft! Get out of here. No one and I MEAN NO ONE wants to see or smell you! Get out!" Alpha Blake's so called "chosen mate," Lara, was screaming at her once again. Cynthia tried to get out but stumbled over her own feet. Lara attacked her, slapped her face, clawed her back and kicked her on the stomach. Cynthia tried to get up but Lara attacked her again. This time she slapped her so hard her ears rang. "What a worthless piece of crap you are!" There were four other she-wolves standing nearby and began laughing at her, pointing at her and laughing. Cynthia slowly crawled out of the room into the hallway where her hand was stepped on by a man's shoe. "Where the hell are you going?" It was Alpha Blake. He picked her up by the throat and held her up off the floor against the wall. She could feel her breath leaving her. She couldn't take in any air. She began to lose her consciousness and just before she did he dropped her then kicked her, "Worthless!" He walked away. She laid there unable to catch a breath and hurting so. Just when she thought it was over, she felt a bucket of water dumped on her. It was Lara again and her friends and the Alpha. All pointing and laughing at her. She was drenched in dirty water from her cleaning the floors. Lara got down near her face, spit on her and slapped one one more time just because she could. Stepping on the same hand the Alpha had, she put her whole weight into it.Cynthia felt the bones break and heard Athena whimper. She said nothing. She knew anything she said would bring worse atrocities on her. "Clean this mess up! NOW!" Alpha Blake bellowed in his Alpha voice.

(END OF NIGHTMARE 2)

Cynthia shook and whimpered under Conrad's arms. He knew she was having another nightmare. This was not good. The previous nights she had slept cuddled in his wolf form well. But they were outside, he was in his wolf form and they were not in the pack borders or pack house. He woke her gently, kissed her forehead and crawled out from under the bed taking her with him. Cynthia looked confused and stunned for a few minutes. Then rubbed her eyes and threw herself into Conrad's arms,"Thank you. Thank you for being here!" Conrad was touched. "Always, my love.Always!"