Near Death

Darvish Is not a normal town and can only be seen this way by the people who reside in it as if something is there watching but it blurs out if I think too much about it which is odd because when I begin to think I can never stop.

Whilst make-believe skating sliding my feet along the silk sheets of my bed an ad pops before the song is able to finish It was just another lingerie ad with a beautiful girl posing as a normal one while she is a model at heart just like a spark on a match my mind began to flood with regret will I look good enough for this excursion with Lei she always looks nice and I always look like….. this. On my way to the bathroom, I stripped myself from clothing and stared myself down in the mirror. It's always hard to face yourself when you've been so mean and yet It gives you more reason to be. Instead of crying, I thought of something better to do. Self-destruction.

As I describe each unlikeable feature of myself I caught a glimpse of the person I wanted to be in the mirror I stopped and began to stare intently at the more palatable reflection moving closer in, reaching my arms into the mirror touching her hand. She grabbed my hand forcefully trying to pull me in then grabbed the other one. Pulling me closer and closer I began to scream in agony stop. Just stop. I said to the dastardly thing as it smiled psychotically "you know…. you want to be…just….like…me" she said aristocratically before I fell backward into the bathtub with my

head being hit with a shower curtain. The fight was not over I grabbed the curtain rod and smashed the mirror into bite-size pieces smashing them more once they arrived down on the floor. I screamed in destrot before giving out and falling back into my bed a safety net of dreams away from this cursed place. I wasn't ready to face lei tomorrow as I saw myself in the mirror I'm not good enough. With my phone sitting temptingly In my back pocket I reached for it and began typing: Hi, Lei I'm not going to the rink tomorrow. She responded with: ok and a sad emoji next to it. Although discouraged there was no way I could show up like this. Deep dark shadows encased my room with their endless abyss of black. Deeper and deeper my eyes went down into the endless pit suddenly Scratchy yet robust voice solemnly groped its cords into the pit "When the sunlight meets its match there is no way to detach from the sadness it oh so feels" Terror struck deeply inside. My sharp red eyes amassed my bones clipping each nerve until the complete feeling of numbness my legs were ripped apart whilst my feet sat stagnant on the ground. Tears fled down like waterfalls hair as loose as those jeans that never seemed to fit falling down, down, down, closer till I finally hit the bottom. The bottom of a well. This well was a 4x4 restricted area, thin and tall round, wet and cold. Spontaneously blood begins to seep through the cobblestone walls slowly dripping lower & lower & lower & lower Until finally hitting the bottom. Staining my bare feet in blood. Looking Up I can see the opening of the well clearly It was the faceless fiend looking down at me. While blood is still dripping It begins to speak with its raspy robust voice: "secrets are no fun secret secrets hurt someone" it begins to sing softly getting louder and louder as the well fills with blood. I begin to bang on the stony wall screaming desperately for help. Suddenly visions of what could have happened if I went to the roller rink begin to play in my mind. The kiss opens up even more memories. A voice quiet soft yet clear voice whispers out to me under the loud singing of the faceless fiend.

"Sam! Sam!" It whispered. My eyes slowly opened one after the other to find Leigh at the foot of my bed shaking my feet. She starts to crawl next to me and stares into my eyes "I'm sorry" she says regretfully. While inadvertently moving my hair out of my face and behind my left ear before kissing my forehead. "I forgive you," I say softly yet firmly reassuring her that I didn't want to let her go again. Although she was gone for the night it felt like an eternity since we had seen each other. I wanted to feel loved by her so I didn't hold a grudge. I sat up in bed gesturing with my hand that she can join Me. We sat together in bed holding hands starting to discuss what happened at the

roller rink. "So who was that in the bathroom...with you?" she slips a piece of bubble gum in her mouth and replies with "what do you mean?" I replied embarrassed of the fact that I became so jealous. "Remember the roller rink?" she sighs "no?" she smiles and grabs my hand. then begins to cough and stands up next to the bed. "Are you ok?" she coughs harshly before hearing on the carpet. "I'm so sorry" "I'll go get towels," I said as I stood and ran downstairs to the kitchen. "School started 5 minutes ago, hurry up please!" mom says as she grabs her favorite mug out of the cabinet "I will, I just need to help Leigh!" "Who is Leigh?" she stops suddenly to hear my response. "The girl you let in the house this morning." "What girl?" she proceeds to ask. "She's upstairs now." I started to rush upstairs as mom followed after me. Once entering the room no one was there and the spot where she threw up was gone like nothing Had Happened. Mom snatched the paper towels out of my hands and said "go to school sam" After she left I looked around the room: underneath my bed, behind my dresser, anywhere she could be hiding. "Leigh!?" I called out silently to try and find her… No windows were left open and she wouldn't have been able to leave the house without me seeing her. With my mind jumbled. Mom yelled out to Me. "Sam! I'm driving you to school, come on!" My outfit from last night was still on I

started to walk down the steps my head turned to watch my bedroom get smaller and smaller until finally leaving the house. "Why do you insist to lie to me, I'm your Mother" "I'm not lying ma' I know what I saw" she focuses on the road in silence as we both listen to each other breathing. "I really like her," I say softly. She sighs and turns her head at me "let me get this straight, you want me to believe that you made a friend" I start to chuckle "yeah mom, I don't know where she went but I promise you she was truly there" she turns her head back to the road and chuckles "well, whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn't get you late for school and what?" "..... doesn't get me pregnant" "that's right!" she parks suddenly in front of the school and unlocks the passenger doors "alright hon' have a great day!" "Thanks, mom!" as she drives away mildly she yells from the window "Walk Home!" Upon opening the doors to the school Leigh catches my eyes from her locker and starts running up to me almost in slow motion, just like they do in the movies I instantly felt special. "Where did you go, how did you….?" she shushes me and grabs my hand to lead me towards my locker. "Ta-da!" she yells enthusiastically

with (jazz hands) she shows me my schedule tapped to my locker ( she changed my Civil rights class to singing ) "LEIGH! Why would you do this, you know I hate talking in front of people let alone singing!" I yelled loudly disregarding the people that stood stagnant in the hallway. " I wanted to find another class where we could be together!" Although I liked her motive I couldn't help but feel conflicted "why couldn't you have found a more calm place for us to be" suddenly the bell begins to ring and once more Leigh grabs my wrist leading me into the "singing room." "

Alright class we are going to be working on individualizing our voices." Leigh sits down next to me in the back row. "Excuse me who just walked into my classroom" I stood up from my seat "me Ms." "hi, dear you must be Samantha" she walks towards me to shake my hand "you can call me Sam, and this is Leigh shes new too." she looked confused as I pointed towards the chair

next to me. "There is no one their hon'" I looked back down and she was indeed correct no one was there my mind jumbled up again as I rubbed and squinted my eyes repetitively. "Why don't you sit in the front row with one of my star students Vanessa who excelled in letting her voice flow to the rhythm" she grabs my hand and takes me to where Vanessa is Sitting. Although sitting next to Vanessa made me want to scream I had to ask if She saw Leigh and I walk in. "Vanessa.." I whisper softly to her "yeah?" "did you see me and another girl walk in?" "no, I wasn't paying attention," she says sourly "are you sure because.." she shushes me and focuses her attention to Ms. Pam ( the music teacher ) "I get that your mad at me about the painting but can you please answer my question?" "Ms. Mcneally come to the front please?" I stand up and start

to walk towards Mrs. Pam "seems like you have so much to say sing us a song to get us started this morning," she says joyfully. My mind goes numb as it has once before, I grew resentful of Lei as she left me here unattended like a lost kid in a busy airport. I wanted to break every bone in my body so all the pain I would feel is hard tissues breaking and not the loneliness. "I can't sing.." she starts clapping loudly to a rhythm of her own "repeat after me!" she says loudly "UP!..DOWN!" "REPEAT!" I mutter the words softly under my breath before having the guts to run out of the classroom. "Where is Lei!?" "I need her now!" my life had become so dependent on her I couldn't live another second without her at least in the crowd of a large audience watching me perform a song I can't even sing. As I walked around aimlessly in the hallway I bumped into both Coner and Josh which reminded me of the toilet fainting fiasco. "Hi, Sam," Josh says as they both laugh exasperatingly. "Do you need something?" I asked as if they weren't my biggest crushes on the whole earth. "We saw your butt," Coner said with a smirk. Suddenly josh grabs his phone and shows me a video of me being carried out on a stretcher. "Oh god!" I

yell sobbing as they both chuckle their way into my bad memories. Without a care, I push them both aside running home without stopping. I felt alone, Ugly, and unworthy of love. I sprinted to my bedroom the moment I got into the house with tears streaming down my face. "I HATE MYSELF!" I start to trash my room by throwing books pencils decorations to the ground before running towards my dresser grabbing clothes out and throwing them on the ground. I start screaming searching for the end of my voice. Whatever I said was going to curse me. I need to end it all. My fists pounded down on the dresser and the mirror broke into several pieces. I fell back to the ground still screaming with a piece of glass grappled in my hand. "I will never be good enough" I started to pierce my skin with the glass until finally drawing blood. sitting there in silence awaiting a sign that my life should be ended. Instantaneously the snapping of fingers started coming upstairs louder and louder until the sound appeared in my room. I wiped the tears from my eyelashes and was able to see the clear vision of who it was in the distance. It was Lei. snapping her fingers. "Hi, Sam," she says as she looked down on me with a smirk "I knew you were never strong enough, that's why I preyed on you ``'' what do you mean?" I muttered while wiping away more tears. "For years you have been so miserable, It was sickening. I had to listen to you moan and groan about Veronica." "huh?" "don't play dumb with me, you think your life is awful. Don't you realize how privileged you are? Loving parents, nice house, good food. You take it all for granted. I hated to see you complain I felt trapped in your body so I decided to leave and now I'm your worst nightmare" she begins to disintegrate as she disappears the three dark spots return to haunt me. Instead of them turning into three faceless

fiends they were three devilish monsters with multiple mouths big bulging eyes bloody claws and a loud sound that could kill the ears of an infant. I was terrified. I was teleported back to the

well with all of this new knowledge. Lei was never here. She doesn't exist. And now I'm standing in a well filling with blood and a soul-thirsty monster to finish me off.

This town, Grim & foul. Keep people hidden behind smiley faces warm embraces clandestine lives. People with hidden dreams and intentions built this town with an artificial heart. The people of this town are not only assiduous but deadly. Waves of emotion kept my body steady as the large creature approached me death flashed before me like a distant dream I stood strong and still before the dastrad creature. With its bulging eyes and blood-stained teeth. My fists curled against my palm. My nerves bulged. My sweat flowed profusely. Although hopeless almost at the depths of despair. I couldn't give in. Not now, not ever. I can't solve my problems with violence and hatred. I can't dismiss them I have to confront them Just like I should have with Lei, just like I should have with Veronica. The only way I can destroy this entity Is If I embrace it.

The fight though long and hard I finally realized the truth. I was short and stubby. Chubby and uncoordinated. But It wasn't a bad thing like I had thought. It's what makes me imperfectly perfect. Realizing this saved me from my demons. "I AM NOT USELESS, I AM EXEMPLARY. AN UTTERLY INTELLIGENT BEING AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!" I replied as the demon grappled my small body within its claws. Slowly but surely my confident words disintegrated its scaly hands. I fell to the ground looking up as the creature crumbled with my words like swords stabbing into it. Finally defeated I arrived back in my room. It was a mess: broken glass, burnt-out matches, and laundry cluttered my room as I sat there grateful to be alive. I could hear the front door to the flat open with a loud creak. Mother had arrived and I couldn't wait to hug her. As I jumped up and ran towards the door into her arms. She dropped her grocery bags filled with foods I hated but no care ran through my mind as all I wanted to do was be with

her. "Are you ok Samantha?" "no, I need help" I finally admitted that I needed help. The feeling was indescribable. Nervous yet optimistic.

( September 5th )

Phillip: now that you have a lawyer, what are the replaced?

Peter: They are the demons that are out to kill us.