The Walk (3)

When Joann received the call from Lin Kang, she was just laying around the house. Things had been rather peaceful lately. When Lin Kang said he was going to organize a surprise for Xiu Ling, Joann agreed readily. She was always there for a good time with her best friend and she technically had nothing better to do. However, when she heard what Lin Kang was planning, her mind went into a pause.

Joann was reminded of the promise she made herself several months back, she was only to intervene in her friend's business when things got serious enough. Well things definitely got serious enough.

"Miss Joann, hello? Miss Joann, so will you be able to make it? I'll have my assistant send you the address of the shop," Lin Kang said on the phone and it cut through Joann's reverie.

Joann snapped back to reality and she replied absent-mindedly, "Of, of course. Thank you." Then, she hung up without saying goodbye. Back then, she believed things were not that serious between Xiu Ling and Lin Kang for her to say anything. She gave herself 3 months time to observe the two before coming to a decision but so many things had happened that it had completely slipped her mind.

Back then, Joann's concern was that she did not want her friend to get hurt. She still had doubts about Lin Kang's sincerity and honesty. However, after so long, Joann was sure that Lin Kang did care about her best friend. So now, her concern was whether Lin Kang would take advantage of her friend.

Of course, Lin Kang was not going to take advantage of Xiu Ling in terms of money or power, because he already had plenty of those and Xiu Ling would not be able to provide those things to him but Joann was afraid that Lin Kang would continue to shower so much love and attention on Xiu Ling that her friend would forget about what had happened in the past. Lin Kang would taking advantage of Xiu Ling's wilful forgetfulness. Then again, she could not really fault Lin Kang for that, it was for their benefit that they would move forward from that regrettable thing in the past.

Maybe she should just let bygones be bygones and zip her mouth and say nothing. Be happy for her friend because he had found a good man... Nevertheless, he might be a good man now but does that counterbalance the bad that he had done in the past?

Forgiveness, forgiveness... Ours was a society that cherished this quality but forgiveness meant admitting what had happened in the past and then moving forward from it, not burying it under several layers of good intentions.

Joann also wondered if this would turn Xiu Ling against her and ruin their friendship, after all, if she said anything, she was going to pull at old scab and tear up old wounds. One that Xiu Ling perhaps rather stay in the past.

Joann ruminated about the question in her mind and she could not help but laugh at the ludicrousness of it all. It was such a simple question with a simple answer but there were so many complications around it.

Could you ever forgive someone who committed the most atrocious crime on you?

At the end of the day, perhaps she was just being a busybody, who was she to ruin a good thing? He was a good man who did a bad thing, or a bad man who had seen the errors of his way so why not cut him a break?

'Lin Kang treats Xiu Ling like a princess now, that is the only important thing, right..?'

...

Xiu Ling was resting after the dress fitting. The wedding planner and dressmaker had left the room. She had the place to herself and she was still in the dress. She decided to chill for a few minutes before starting to get undressed.

Suddenly, Xiu Ling heard the knocks on the door. "Come in," she said.

It was Joann who poked her head in. "Mrs. Xiu is still outside, winding down after the emotional roller-coaster, do you if I come in?"

"Of course, not." Xiu Ling waved for Joann to come in with a smile.

Joann sat down beside Xiu Ling and she sighed, "I cannot get over the fact how gorgeous you look."

"Oh, stop!" Xiu Ling said jokingly. It felt nice having this joking banter with her best friend. Both of them had too many things on their table lately, so it was nice to be able to just lay back and be goofy for a moment. It felt like two girls playing dress-up. Normally, it was Joann who had the spotlight but today, it was finally Xiu Ling's turn.

Joann sighed and said, "Lin Kang sure knows how to treat his wife."

Xiu Ling laughed and said, "You have quite a good husband, yourself."

Joann rolled her eyes. "You sure like to kid, but I agree, he did look quite handsome and fetching on that television show." How could one call a cheating husband a good husband? It was preposterous but in Joann's case, it was the truth as well. Life was often filled with paradox like this.

When Xiu Ling heard that, she laughed because she knew that her friend had finally moved on from that betrayal. If she could deflect it with humor and make a joke out of it, then everything should be fine.

Xiu Ling then asked because she was honestly curious, "Joann, if you don't mind me asking, how did you ever get the courage to forgive what Xu Jing has done?"

Joann was silent for a very long time and eventually she said, "Because we both acknowledge what has happened in the past and we both tried to grant each other forgiveness that we deserve." Then, after a short silence, Joann added in a soft whisper, "How about you?"

Xiu Ling's heart skipped a beat when she heard that. She had been trying to avoid that question. When her mind was wandering down that route earlier, Xiu Ling stopped herself because all she could feel was dread.

Xiu Ling pretended not to have heard her friend and changed the subject. Seeing this, Joann frowned imperceptibly. She knew that this was a sign of her friend avoiding the truth. She thought about just moving along but then she was reminded of what her friend told her a few months ago when she broke to her the news about her husband's infidelity. A marriage was no place for dishonesty, she had learned that much from surviving Xu Jing's ordeal.

If she allowed Xiu Ling this dishonesty, then perhaps it might lead to a situation like the one that happened in her household. Of course, Joann did not think the chance of that was high, considering how much Lin Kang doted on Xiu Ling. However, she also saw how unfair this was to her friend. She would need to silence herself, granted it was a version of herself in the past, to allow herself to enjoy this union.

Of course, Joann was not going to tell Xiu Ling to end the relationship outright, that would have been unnecessarily cruel. Furthermore, it would be out of Joann's place to do so, she did not have the intention to make the decision on her best friend's behalf. She just wanted her to view this relationship with openness and honesty,

Therefore, Joann tried to turn the subject back by referencing the past. "So many things have changed since then. I never thought Xu Jing would ever cheat on me but here we are. However, the past also has taught me many things, like having a daughter in the dreaded news media has taught me that everything has both sides, a negative side and a positive side."

Xiu Ling ended the subject by saying rather brusquely, "I still think we should not stay in the past and focus on the future, it's the correct way to live."

This surprised Joann because her friend had never been so adamant in making any point in her life before. Then, a possibility hit Joann. 'Could it be that Xiu Ling has already been considering this but she doesn't know how to deal with it so she is averse to me leading the topic down this particular trial?'

If that was the case, Joann knew it would be pointless to side-step around the topic. Xiu Ling was much better at directing the direction of the conversation than she was. All she could do then was to do what she do best, which was to cut through the bullshit and ask the incisive question directly, "Xiu Ling, are you really going to marry your rapist?"