Am I a Jerk?

The stairs squeaked, and two heads turned toward Gabriel in one swift motion, just like hyenas that had suddenly caught a whiff of fresh meat. An ominous glint shone in their eyes, making Gabriel halt for a second.

On the one hand, Masha was worried about her brother, especially after realizing he hadn't followed Gabriel downstairs and was nowhere in sight. She could not help but glare at her friend. On the other hand, Jake… Well, Jake was Jake.

Although Gabriel noticed the glint in their gazes, he pretended he hadn't seen it and made his way to the sofa.

Both Jake and Masha were still in the living room, the TV playing an old horror movie in the background. They were sitting next to each other, and, at one point, Jake had put his arm on the back of the sofa behind Masha, surrounding her shoulders in an overly familiar manner.

'…It must have taken all of Masha's self-control not to punch him,' Gabriel thought as he took place on the sofa, acting like a dumb kid who hadn't realized that his brother was being a little too intimate with his girlfriend. 'Thankfully, Misha stayed upstairs. I'm not sure he'd have been able to control his temper had he seen that. I'm even less sure in what sorrowful state he'd have left Jake.'

Not like Gabriel would have stopped Misha, though—even he had difficulty refraining himself from rushing over and snapping Jake's arm in half.

Didn't that guy notice that Masha sat near the edge to put as much distance as possible between them? And yet he still had the guts to sit directly next to her, invading her space? Not being able to move an inch without brushing his leg was anything but pleasing!

Hadn't it been for the current situation Gabriel was in, Masha wouldn't have tolerated Jake's behavior. Knowing her, she'd have given him a piece of her mind a long time ago, educating him on how to flirt with a girl properly. Or, at the very least, on how to be a decent human being and not a leech.

"The kid didn't come back with you…?" Jake asked with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, snapping Gabriel out of his thoughts

"He's taking a nap, actually. We played a bit too much, and he was overcome by fatigue. He has poor health, so he quickly gets exhausted. I don't think he'll wake up any time soon, to be honest."

"Is that so."

"But is he alright?" Masha interrupted Jake. "I mean, he didn't have a headache, fever, chills, or anything else of the sort, right?"

Masha tried to appear calm, but her shaky voice and darting eyes betrayed her inner turmoil. Of course, she knew Gabriel was lying and her brother wasn't sick. He couldn't tell the real reason why Misha hadn't followed him down in front of Jake. However, the simple fact that he stayed in his room instead of coming back spoke volumes. It made her all the more worried about his emotional state, and she couldn't help but wonder how her little brother took the news regarding Gabriel's past. Even she had difficulty digesting it.

"Don't worry, he's just very tired," Gabriel comforted, his voice soothing. "I'm sure he's going to feel better after a little rest."

"But…" Masha chewed on her lower lip, looking down at her knees. Right now, all she wanted to do was bolt to her brother's room to cradle Misha in a mama bear's hug. She had long tossed Jake at the back of her mind.

"If you're that worried, why not go check on him? Anyway, we have to leave soon. Mom wants us to come back home before supper, and it's already quite late," Jake intervened, cocking an eyebrow.

It wasn't even the middle of the afternoon, but who cared?

"Then I'm gonna do just that!" Masha nodded vigorously, leaving the sofa at lightning speed to kiss Gabriel's cheek, "Love you, see you soon!"

Without further ado, she dashed to the stairs, climbing the steps two at a time.

"…I think her brother is the number one person in her heart, and you're far, far below," Jake commented.

"Maybe," Gabriel chuckled, staring at the stairs for a short second before standing up and dusting his pants. "Let's go back home, shall we?"

That was all Gabriel said in response, knowing Jake was trying to plant seeds of discord again. So what if Masha's brother was more important than him? She wasn't the one he was trying to win over, anyway.

***

There were soft knocks on the door, but Misha didn't respond, half of his face buried in a pillow. He knew it was his sister, and he knew she would enter whether he told her to come in or not, so he didn't bother answering. At any rate, she probably knocked only out of politeness, and just as expected, she cracked the door open a second later despite not having received an answer.

Without a word, Masha stepped inside, gently closing the door behind her, and then tiptoed to Misha's bed, her footsteps almost soundless. For a second, she couldn't help but stare at her little brother, who was curled up into a ball underneath a thin blanket. She pinched her lips and sat beside him in silence, tapping her fingers against each other as her mind churned. What should she say…?

Time ticked by, but Masha said nothing, and Misha was grateful for the silence. She waited for him to be ready to talk, and when he was, the first thing that came out of his mouth was: "Am I a jerk?"

"…No, of course not! Why would you ask that?"

"'Cause I sure feel like one."

"Why?"

"You know, in my first timeline, I hated Gabriel so much I wished he'd drop dead. And even before that, I never tried to understand him and took everything he did for me for granted. Hell, he spoiled me rotten, and I repaid his kindness by beating the shit out of him! Twice!"

"But you thought I died because of him, it's—"

"That's not the problem here!" Misha interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "I never gave him the benefit of the doubt, never allowed him to explain himself, I just… I was just such a jerk to him, you have no idea! He was always there for us, for me, yet when he probably needed me the most, I fucking broke his nose! And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure he let me break it. There's no way I'd have been able to punch him in the face had he defended himself! That guy threw our father out of the window without batting an eye, so how could the clumsy me be a match?!"

"Wait. He threw dad out of the window…?"

"Well, yeah. After coming back home earlier than usual and, you know, stumbling on dad beating me…? But that's not really the point right now!"

"We will need to talk about dad's abuse one day."

"Yeah, yeah, we will. But he's not a hopeless drunkard in this timeline, so what's the point? You heard my other self, right? He's a good guy at heart. Probably. So it doesn't matter what he did in the first timeline. He's currently not that man."

"But that's not the main reason why I want to discuss it with you."

"Ok, fine, I got it, but as I said, that's not important right now! It's Gabriel that matters, not me. I don't want to be the one who's protected; I want to protect him this time around. He sacrificed way too much for us, and not just in the first timeline."

"I know…"

"And he went through hell! But he smiles all the time and acts as if everything is fine! Even though I lived with him for years, I had no idea such things happened. Heck, I didn't even know his mother was dead, or maybe I was once aware and just forgot about it." Misha paused to let out a wry, self-mocking laugh before adding, "I knew nothing, Masha. It's so frustrating."

There was nothing his sister could say that would make him feel better, so she said nothing and instead stroked his back, listening as he emptied his heart.

"I swear, I want to rip apart my past self. Why didn't I notice sooner that something was off with his family? Why wasn't I there for him instead of causing trouble all the time? I hate how I wore blinders and convinced myself that I was the only one suffering. I feel ashamed, sis', so ashamed."

Misha sniffled, bringing his knees even closer to his chest. Thinking back, Gabriel had been an angel sent from up above, and he had been a devil sent from the deepest part of hell. It's a wonder he was able to put up with him.

"You know, he says he's fine, cold-hearted even, but I doubt it was always the case. He's way too kind to us to be the unfeeling monster he thinks he is."

Biting his lower lip, Misha turned around to hug his sister's waist.

"Sis', I want him to be happy in this timeline, just like I am. Now, I have you, I have mom, and even dad is the father I always wanted to have. And all of that is possible because of Gabriel, so what can I do for him? What can I do to protect him?"

"Just be there for him, that's more than enough."

"Please, sis', don't give me that bullshit! That's not enough, not for me at least. Not considering everything he has done for my sake, for our sake."

Whenever Misha looked at Gabriel's face, the faint scar that cut his eyebrow near the corner of his eyes would remind him of when he saved his life a few months ago. Gabriel protected him with his body as they rolled down the slope and collided against the rocks and trees, firmly holding his body against his chest. Even when his fingers got broken one after another, he did not let go.

Every time Misha thought of that day, his heart swelled with pain but also a bit of warmth.

That man had always protected him without ever asking for anything in return, no matter the timeline. It was something that never changed and would probably never change.

"I'm afraid of repeating the same mistakes and not knowing what's going on. What if I leave Gabriel to go through hell alone again? It scares me to death."

"But this timeline will be different. You will make it different, won't you?"

"Yeah, you're right, you're totally right. I will make it different."

This time around, Misha would do things right and not wear blinders. He would protect Gabriel and never leave his side, even if, for that, he had to go against his will.

"Thanks, Sis'. I know what to do now," Misha smiled, tightening his hug around his sister's waist.

"You're welcome. Now, sleep a bit."

"Hmm."

As Misha closed his eyes, he swore to himself that this timeline would be the right one, for everyone. This time, he would do everything for Gabriel just as he had done everything for him. And they would finally have their happy end.

__________________________

Chapter revised on 2022-06-05

Edited by Clozed! ♥

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