Epilogue

As unusually long as the honeymoon phase of our relationship might have been, it too eventually came to an end. My knees no longer get weak when I see Hinata.

And as I took the pink glasses off, some things, obviously, started irritating me.

Most of all, his persistent unfounded optimism ticks me off. One must have some common sense and things don't always work out the way you want no matter how hard you believe in it. Sometimes you have to be prepared for the worst case scenario! This has become the core of a lot of our arguments. I'm naturally more risk-averse and realistic (or pessimistic, in his words), so reaching an agreement on certain serious topics has been hard, especially in the beginning. But looking back on it I find that we balance each other out well, the decisions we make together play out better than if we were to act on our own.

Another thing I struggle with is that sometimes the everyday tasks he's responsible for are done in a weird, in my opinion, and suboptimal way that makes my eyes pop and makes me want to argue. Why didn't he do it my way? You know, the right and obvious one? But what I can't deny is that Hinata has never let me down. Whatever had to be done was done on time and I could always rely on him.

As time passed, I acknowledged all his habits that annoyed me and made peace with them. It wasn't that hard, after all, I love him with all my heart, profoundly and unconditionally.

We moved in together after graduating and, inevitably, faced a bunch of everyday domestic issues. But at the same time we started having so much sex, — which, by the way, successfully relieved any tension, — like never before or likely never after. It was too convenient.

When Hinata came home from work, I would come up to meet him at the door and we would kiss each other on the cheek. He would start undoing his tie and I would help him, soon noticing how sexy he looks with his tie half-undone and I would lean in to kiss him on the lips. He would wrap his hands around my waist to quickly lower them to my bottom and squeeze it tightly and bring me closer. I would put my arms around his neck and hop on and he would carry us to the living room sofa, where the tie would find a better purpose around my wrists or over my eyes. And if we were lazy or impatient enough, he would just press my back against the wall in the hallway and I would feel his hot breath on my face.

It was a challenge to get ready for work in the morning. Hinata developed a supernatural ability to come in on me half-naked when I'm in the middle of dressing up. His fingers stroking my bare skin lightly and his lips on my shoulder would make me shiver with pleasure and melt. And if I tried to resist, he would get on his knees to kiss my inner thighs, his hair brushing against me too. After that, my mind would definitely grow foggy. Any clothes I managed to put on would come off again. Even though in the morning we were sane enough to make it quick, I was dangerously close to being late for work on way too many occasions. If I really needed to be on time for something important, I would lock myself in the bathroom to get dressed, and even then a couple of times Hinata would come scraping at the door trying to convince me he desperately needs something from the inside right now. Ha, fat chance!

It's another thing when we don't have to hurry anywhere. Lazy Sunday morning sex has become one of my favourite things. I love waking up from the fact that Hinata hugs me across the belly and pulls me closer, sometimes still in his sleep. I'm half-asleep too. Morning touch under the warm blanket is different. Especially if it's chilly outside, the heater I'm sleeping with is too tempting. Dreaming, without even opening our eyes, we can start hugging and caressing each other, intertwining our legs and arms, tucking our faces in each other's shoulders. We may fall asleep again, if so, it's even more pleasant to wake up to a reality that you thought was a dream. Morning breath doesn't allow for much talking and deep kissing, but everything else is more than enough. When Hinata gets over me, his smooth chest and stomach gently sweeping against mine, I smile, it's about to get real. Spending an hour touching each other before leaving the bed is no longer my luxury, it's my otherworldly normal.

But as I said, the dreamy stage had to end sometime, and now we almost never have spontaneous sex anymore. It became safe for either of us to walk half-naked around the flat after a shower or even leave the bathroom door unlocked. We now fall asleep without any one of us trying something lewd much more often than not. This doesn't mean that the sex is no longer good though. No, it's the best we ever had. You just have to plan for it a little bit. And if I was impressed by Hinata when we just started going out, it was nothing compared to now. To be fair, I got much better too. Turns out it's something you can research and practice, huh, I'm good at that. I mastered making him beg me out loud...

***

I'm leaning on a railing, staring far away into the sea, it's a nice warm evening. We're here on a weekend trip with Hinata, actually it's the same town we visited together on our very first getaway three years ago. However, unlike then, today he's been extremely distracted and spaced out. I sigh. I don't want to argue or force him to pay attention to me, I just hope that whatever's bothering him will be resolved. I mutter to myself:

「海がきれいだね…」 "The sea is beautiful..."

「(F/N)…」

「うん?」 "Mm?"

Hinata pulls my sleeve and makes me look at him and then turn towards him. He takes my hand, looking unusually serious. Then he goes down on one knee and I freeze.

「聞いてください,(F/N).

初めてキスをした時,(F/N)を抱きしめて離さないって思ったんだ.その時は一瞬の思いだったかもしれないけど,それ以来,自分の気持ちを真剣に確信するようになったんだ.

僕にとって,(F/N)は完璧な存在だ.一緒にいると,一秒一秒,空高く飛んでいる.愛してる.

(F/N)のことを大切にし,幸せにするためにベストを尽くすことを約束する.

僕の人生で,これほど確信したことはない.(L/N)(F/N),僕の妻になっていただけないか?」

"Please listen to me, (F/N).

When we first kissed, I felt that I wanted to hold you and never let you go. It might have been a fleeting thought back then, but ever since I've become convinced of the seriousness of my feelings.

To me, you are perfect. Every second we spend together, I am flying high. I love you.

I promise to take care of you, cherish you and do my best to make you happy.

I have never been so sure of anything in my life. (F/N) (L/N), will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

He takes out a ring box and pops it open. I am stunned and unable to speak.

「(F/N)?..」

Hinata grows pale and squeezes my hand tighter. I see him swallow out of anxiety.

I need to pull myself together, I cannot make him wait any longer. Because I have to rush, I can't compose my response well, I can't say everything I want to say back, but I try to cut to the core:

「はい.翔陽は私の人生の愛だ.」 "Yes. You are the love of my life."

He takes the ring out of the box and carefully puts it on my finger, fitting it perfectly. Only then I notice the ring. It's a beautiful emerald wonderfully matching my favourite earrings. I have to forcefully pull my eyes away from the stone and look again at my fiancé. He's smiling widely and gets up on his feet to hug me closely.

「本当に幸せだ!」 "I am absolutely happy!"

His voice came out ringing with agitation. I exclaim:

「私も!」 "Me too!"

Hinata effortlessly lifts me up and my feet leave the ground, I hug his neck and laugh. I peek over his shoulder and secretly reach my hand out to admire how complete it looks with a ring on.

When he decides to put me down, we both lean in and get involved in a heated kiss that makes my head spin. It's yet another first kiss, now with my fiancé.

***

「翔陽!」 "Shoyo!"

I hear a casual response from the living room:

「何～?」"Whaat?"

「日向翔陽,今すぐここに来て!」 "Hinata Shoyo, come here right now!"

I don't think I've ever called him that. It worked and I see my husband turning up in the doorway.

「何?」 "What?"

I'm sitting on the bed unable to get up. I meet his eyes and say:

「妊娠しているんだ.」 "I'm pregnant."

「は?」 "Huh?"

He swallows quickly whatever he's been snacking on. I repeat:

「妊娠しているよ!」 "I'm pregnant!"

We decided I would stop taking birth control about half a year ago. We never really planned for a baby, never tried "making a baby" on purpose, but we just agreed it would make sense for it to happen sometime naturally. However, now that the time has come, I'm taken off-guard.

「本当に?」 "Really?"

I show him the test.

「うん.生理が遅れていて,テストを受けたんだ.もう一回やってもいいけど...」 "Yeah. My period was late, so I took a test. We can do another one, but..."

「嬉しい!」 "I'm happy!"

He jumps high in place out of excitement and then comes closer and sits on his knees in front of me. He smiles, but then his expression changes:

「どうした?」 "What's wrong?"

「怖いんだ.」 "I'm scared."

We're twenty-five, and even though it seems like there's never a good time to have a baby, objectively the current timing is not too bad. We have jobs, we're renting a big enough place, we have some savings (even if not enough in my opinion!) and I'm absolutely sure the grandparents will be thrilled. But what I'm not sure is whether I can do it. I haven't done my research and I already feel overwhelmed, there's not enough time to get everything right. Besides, Hinata is like a big baby himself and I know I can't handle two babies. No way!

「大丈夫,それは正常な反応だ.」 "It's okay, that's a normal reaction."

He takes my hands into his.

「一人で何もしなくていいことを約束する.僕もいつもそばにいる.」 "I promise that you won't have to do anything alone. I will always be there too."

I look at him with my eyes wide from anxiety.

「お姫様のように扱うよ!(F/N)が行く予定には全部行くし,何をすべきか勉強もするし,赤ちゃんの面倒も見るわ!これからは何でも言ってね.」 "I will treat you like a princess! I will go to all the appointments you go to, I will study what to do, I will take care of the baby too! From now on, tell me anything you need!"

I exhale and let a little laugh mixed with tears in my voice:

「安心した…手伝ってくれるということで,安心した!」 "I'm relieved... I'm relieved you're going to help me!"

「もちろん,全部一緒にやるつもりだ.」 "Of course, we're going to do everything together."

He sits on the bed beside me and hugs me around with his left hand, his right one carefully lands on my lower belly.

He says softly:

「赤ちゃんができるんだ!幸せか?」 "We're going to have a baby! Are you happy?"

I nod and then tuck my face into his warm neck. He starts caressing my back to calm me down.

「翔陽…」 "Shoyo..."

「うん?」 "Mm?"

「赤ちゃんができても,変わらずに愛してくれる?」 "Will you still love me as much when the baby comes?"

To be honest, I'm already jealous. What if he's so happy just for the baby? And when we have a baby, I will become his second priority if not lower. I'm too greedy and sad and anxious.

「いや,もっと愛する.(F/N)は僕の子供の母親になるんだ.」 "No, I will love you even more. You will be the mother of my child."

We sit hugging each other for a while longer, thinking about how our life will change starting from this moment.

And then Hinata cautiously asks:

「それで…まだ変なもの食べたい?」 "So... Do you want to eat anything weird yet?"

I laugh wholeheartedly and a second later my husband joins in too.