so open,

Listen to Alan Walker - Darkside feat Au_ra and Tomine Harket.

Mathilda

I deliberately skipped dinner with Cahill because his seemingly heated blue gaze seemed to be sliding my body more than normal. Ever since he saw me in my bikini. It's making me feel embarrassed and generating tingling sensations on my body because on my first night at the Nolan's Mansion, he'd told me I have the body build of a child. I can vividly remember that night.

Excluding that, I haven't had any meal with him before. That's why I disappeared when one of the hotel porters announced we were to have a romantic dinner on a boat cruise with fireworks and all. Just us two.

I know what newlyweds do on a night boat cruise. Dancing, dinner, romantic moments, and sharing of gifts. Hell, they even make love.

Now, I don't care if he'd be mad at me for not showing up, hell he wouldn't want to have a romantic dinner with me when he's still very much in love with my sister, and me, Brandon. It'd be a very awkward atmosphere.

Aside from that, he didn't tell me he has a half-brother. I thought he was an only child. And James seems more lively than him. Although Cahill didn't mention anything like loving his half-brother, it's evident he does. 

Plus I need to put some necessary distance between us tonight because I don't like the way his penetrating blue gaze sends fire racing through my soul. Leaving me aroused and bewildered at the same time. More reason why I came to the bar. It's already evening and I am glad Cahill is letting me have my space.

"Mrs. Nolan?" An unexpected voice calls and I immediately snap my head around and look into the gray eyes of Xavier. His lips curve into a smile, and he looks even better than a few hours ago. He's changed into a light beach shirt and khaki shorts.

"You seem to be having a good time alone without your husband." he nods at the Piña Colada on my table.

"Have you been stalking me?" I narrow my eyes as my gaze grimly calculates him. Because it does look like it.

Letting out a nervous chuckle, Xavier scratches the back of his head.

"No, midra. It's just coincidental we keep barging into each other," he curves his lips into a tight reassuring smile.

While I nod because he doesn't seem like one who would hurt me, rather he seems friendly.

"Aren't you bored or something?" 

"Not entirely,"

"There's a bonfire beach party going on, would you like to come?" Xavier offers.

Blowing out a breath, I shake my head no.

Lips thinned, Xavier nods with his eyes lowered to his fidgeting hands on the table.

"Aren't you supposed to be busy?" I ask, taking a sip out of my drink.

"I'm off working hours," Xavier barely finishes speaking when I see Cahill walking out in long strides with his left hand fisted in his pocket. If he's seen me, he doesn't bother to show it.

The few women in here are drooling over him, and there's this feeling that washes over me. It feels good to know someone having this quiet mysteriousness surrounding him, and an intriguing aura is with me and not them. Not like there's something attached to the way I feel, no.

Cahill takes a seat on the high stool in front of the bartender's tabletop, while Xavier's head pops from me to Cahill.

He attempts to speak but then shuts his mouth when Francesca goes to stand beside my husband, her face in a full-blown smile.

My good mood instantly drops when she talks to Cahill and he looks at her. 

Jealousy flows through me when Francesca rests her elbow on the bartender's tabletop and leans towards Cahill. And Cahill doesn't tell her to take some steps backward or put a space between them.

Francesca flips her blonde hair off her shoulder, letting her gaze linger a bit too long on Cahill. And they lock eyes for a moment before Cahill looks away from her to grab his bottle of beer.

"She's flirting with your husband, Midra," Xavier speaks up with his voice softening, as he shoots me a look as if wordlessly telling me to go meet Cahill. Or maybe I read it wrong. 

And what's with him and the stupid French nickname for me? Cahill hasn't even looked at me, yet he's letting the bitchy hotelier get close to him.

I have no idea why I am this jealous. I came here because I wanted some space from him. I should be gladdened he's not paying any attention to me right now, but I'm not. It's frustrating that he's not looking at me like he always does. The corners of his mouth even twitch into a quick smile before it disappears as fast as it arrived when Francesca says something funny.

I've never seen him smile. Not even for once. This is new.

Returning my gaze to the boy in front of me, I let out an explosive breath.

"Xavier?"

 "Yes, midra?"

"Let's go to that bonfire beach party."

** * *

When we get to the beach, some locals are singing in Tahiti, with drums. While the crowd goes around in a circle. Singing, drinking, and dancing around the bonfire.

I let the gush of wind hit me, then inhale deeply, letting my nostrils bask in the smell of the earth, air, and smoke.

The smiles from the people are contagious and I can feel something getting off my chest. 

Everyone here seems happy even though they do have their problems and worries. It's more like letting go of every negative feeling and enjoying the moment while it lasts.

It seems fun to watch, and I don't mind staying where I am. But Xavier decides against it. He pulls me along with him to join the crowd.

I can feel my cheeks flushing in embarrassment, but then he starts dancing. Swaying his hips sideways to rhyme with the rhythm of the beat and clapping his hands in the air.

"I didn't know you could dance," I smile at him because it's beautiful. The way he dances, with his body stealing every beat.

"I can teach you," he mirrors my expression, then pulls my hand in his.

I easily pick up his steps and in no time, I am dancing along with him and everyone.

 It feels so good to be this free. Dancing this way with people I don't even know frees me from the chains of emotional distress.

Xavier has been shoving cups of traditional Tahiti wine into my hand, which I am downing within seconds because it tastes too good, although it has alcohol in it, making me tipsy.

For a moment, I thought I saw Cahill with his arms folded across his large chest, his jaw clenched, as he watches me dance with Xavier. He's a few meters away from the crowd dancing around the bonfire.

Someone shoves a cup of wine into my hand and when I return my gaze to the spot where I saw him, I don't see him anymore. And I think it's a figment of my imaginations, maybe I've had more than enough of the wine to the extent that I'm seeing things.

Pulling away from the crowd to catch my breath because I've been dancing so much that my legs feel like jelly, I feel someone's hand on my back, and my eyes immediately widen in their sockets when I turn around and see Brandon.

"What are you doing here?" I slur, staggering towards him. I might be in frenzy mode, but my heart is thumping heavily in my chest. I can't believe Brandon is here.

"You've had more than enough, Mathilda," he says, attempting to snatch the cup of wine away from my hand but I don't let him.

"You flew all the way from Eastfield to come get me?"

"I don't understand what you mean," he replies, looking puzzled.

"You came," I place a finger on his chest, before taking a full gulp from the wine. "Oh my god, my brain feels fried."

"You should stop drinking already," he tells me with worry masking his face.

 "I've missed you so much, Bran. I don't feel like myself anymore." I pout. "But lately, it seems like I'm forgetting you. Thoughts of Cahill are beginning to fill my head and I don't like them," I rest my head on his chest, expecting him to stroke my hair or press a kiss to my forehead but he doesn't. Instead, he succeeds in pulling the wine away from my hand and tosses it on the floor.

"My wolf is in dire need to connect with yours. I haven't even shifted since the marriage. I am more comfortable shifting when you're with me. And Cahill thinks I'm not pretty, but the way he looked at me earlier this evening made a different kind of sensation flow through me. Something I never felt with you," I confess.

"That's enough, Mathilda. Let's get you.." Brandon barely finishes speaking because I am kissing him with all the life in me.

He immediately pulls away and stares at me with his eyes boring into mine, before taking my face in his hand, running a finger over my bottom lip, then kisses me for a while, with his mouth having a different taste. More like the wine I've been drinking. And it feels absurd.

When he decides he's had his fill, he gently pushes me away.

"C'est assez, Midra!" He whisper-yells.

"What? You don't speak French," Narrowing my eyes in puzzlement, I recoil a step backward and my jaw immediately drops in dismay because the person who I've been seeing as Brandon isn't. 

It's Xavier.

He's panting heavily, with his eyes full of yearning and regret at once, that for a moment I wonder how someone can have such emotions in his eyes.

I can't believe I kissed Xavier. Saw him as Brandon all this while. The wine really messed up my brain, and even though I'm still tipsy, I can't help feeling ashamed of myself.

"Mathilda!" An apoplectic, bitter voice thunders from behind me.

My heart takes a leap so high that I thought I'd faint because when I whirl around, it's an enraged Cahill I see. With his chest rising and falling violently with his body infuriating for war. Ocean blue eyes full with a storm of anger, and jaw clenched to the extent that I can see his veins bulging out along his neck.

I can feel blood draining away from my face as I take a backward in fear, swallowing the sudden huge hurtful lump stuck within my throat.