Saffran's POV

Saffran's

POV

"Wake up

man." Jeromy's annoyed voice makes me awake from the deep slumber. It takes

some seconds to realize where I am. It's been so long since I've slept this

good and the last time I passed out like this was with Norm when he stayed over

at my place. Right Norm. Where is he? Panic rises in my chest when I find the

right side of the king size bed empty. I look around and see Jeromy standing with

a confused look. "What you looking for?" I don't reply him and get out of the

bed only wearing boxers. I frantically search around for I don't know what.

Maybe a clue Norman left or a paper or whatever unreal things I don't know.

"Dude you okay?" I face a concerned Jeromy. "Are you perhaps....looking for the

one you slept the night with?" Jeromy catches on quickly not getting my reply. I

sit on the bed with my head in my hands. Norman left me. He didn't even wait

for me to wake up, he didn't told me that he was leaving. Does that mean he

is....No no no. I could clearly feel his raw emotions last night, his feelings,

his anger, frustrations, hidden complaints, his...love. He talked with me with his

body, his every cell communicated with mine. My baby.....only if I was a little

bit smarter, only if I could give him some proper love. I sigh as Jeromy puts a

hand on my shoulder. I don't know if he knows that the person I slept with is

Norman. I hope he doesn't cause as much I wanna scream with the top of my lungs

that Norman is mine, i still can't expose us when Norman is so vulnerable right

now. So i wear my soiled clothes and head out after giving Jeromy a quick goodbye

and taking one last sniff of the room that subtly oozing our smell.

Going to

downwards i find no one. Maybe they all left one by one. I get into my car and head

to my house wishing i could go to Norman's instead but that'd be a bad choice.

I vaguely predict there is some trouble waiting for me at home. When i go inside

after parking my car i see Jess and mom sitting on the sofa drinking tea. The

tension is so thick that its making me have second choices of life. Mom looks

up at me first, she narrows her eyes and indicates me to sit beside Jess. Jess

also looks at me but i give her zero attention.

"Where were

you last night?" Mom sharply ask, right on the point.

"At Jeromy's

party."

"Who were

you with?" My heart drops. Why is she asking this question? Did Jess tell her

something? I bet mom and Jess can hear my loudly beating heart. "A lot of

people. It was a get together before-" "So you partied all night with 'lots of

people' while your pregnant wife waited for you without even eating dinner?"

Anger rises in my throat, waited and didn't eat dinner? This bitch? It's so

hard to think logically in this household that I sometimes think myself as a

mental patient. "Mom you're being overdramatic." I can see the colour of my

mom's face change from white to red. She's beyond angry but i can't help it. I

wanna scream, cry, shout out for help. I wanna run back to Norman. I can't bear

this pressure anymore. It's making me want to unalive myself. "Dramatic?! I'm

being dramatic here?!" Mom gets up and marches towards me. Even Jess gets

scared watching her outburst. "Mom-" My head rings loudly as I feel the sharp

slap on my left cheek. For a moment i stop hearing anything. My cheek stings badly

and maybe my inner cheek is cut as i feel metallic taste in my tongue. After a

solid one minute silent I chock out a sob, unable to keep my emotions in check.

I look at

mom with red teary eyes which i don't know if anyone have ever seen in my

lifetime. I rarely cried in front of mom and dad, even as a child i would just

throw tantrums and stop eating. They were never my safe place to let my guard

down and pour out my feelings. Also they never physically hit me except that

incident with dad. But i didn't expect this from mom. Mom's face gets soften, i

know she regrets it and i get zero satisfaction from it. I'm seconds away to break

down and the last place i want to be at is this house. "Happy now? I'm sure you

are. Cause the only thing you want to see is for me to suffer. You feel

superior when people around you obeys your every command. You don't even spare your

own son at this point. I am sick of it! I'm so sick of it i wish i was never

born in this family! My whole life is a curse! You cursed me just by giving

birth to me! Have you ever listened to my part of the story? Have you ever

wondered what my life is like outside of your standard vision? What i endure

everyday, where i go to, who is my safe place? I bet no! Cause you are so self centred

you only see people as your benefactor! I want to live according to my wish!

Leave me alone as what you've done you whole life! Just fucking leave me

alone!" I scream so loud my vocal cords are on the verge to break. I never knew

i had this much pent up frustrations in me, 

this much pain, this much complaints towards life. Hell i thought I

didn't expect anything from life and now i feel like my  every little precious thing is being

forcefully taken away from me and i can't even do anything. I see mom crying

and i don't feel anything. Jess behind her is making an ugly face towards me.

Mom steps forward and tries to touch me but i back away. She looks shocked keeping

her raised hand in the mid-air. "Don't." I croak. "You know mom? I think.....i

finally understand why....why dad left you." It takes huge amount of courage to

push out those words. I don't know if what I've said is right or wrong but i

can't help but hurt her. I never wanted to say such thing, never have i

imagined that I'd be the one to say her such a thing. But now i don't care

anymore. My life is falling apart, my lifeline is rejecting me. So nobody can

expect good talk from such a broken man. "Take back what you just said." Mom's

eyes are bloodshot red. I know this affected her in the worse way. I literally

triggered her trauma. "Take back-" I turn towards the front door. "Saffran!"

Ignoring mom's scream i leave the house and start my car without knowing any

destination.

Norman must

be at school and that's why his front door is locked. I didn't even realise

that i came to Norman's house. I was absentmindedly driving. Now that I'm here

i don't have the courage to face Norman. A rejection maybe waiting for me. Or

even a second chance. But the negative energy in me is killing the later

possibility to even think about. My mind is a jumble and i can't even think

about going home. I know mom is super angry and disappointed, she can even kick

me out. Hell she has already disowned me as a son i bet.

With shaking

hands i dial dad's number.