Clash

Felicia blinked as Alex reached the end of his tale. It was very long and filled with complications. Her mind struggled to make sense of everything she'd heard. 

Her mother had investigated the Pope? She had left a message that he was a devil? The third faction had been suspicious of the Holy Father? The Emperor was in love with her mother?

But the most striking revelation of all! The entire ruling class and all the church fathers had died a little over a month after her execution!? The Empress from the north Imperium had invaded them?

I should feel happy about all this. Why don't I feel happy? Why do I still feel so angry and unfulfilled? Is this what the Goddess meant when she said vengeance is not the answer?

If not, then what is?

For Felicia, satisfaction was absent. Knowing that everyone who'd mistreated and misjudged her had faced such a harsh punishment meant nothing to her.

She wasn't there to see it!

She was still trapped in this wretched maze with no escape!

And she had wanted to kill her tormentors with her own hands! She didn't care some stupid curse that she wasn't even aware of!

Although, the bit about her father having gone insane amused her greatly. That man was the main culprit behind her suffering. How fitting that he was now left with nothing but his memories and his mind! Both of which had turned on him! Just as it happened to her!

Wild laughter exploded out of her, even as her tears continued to run red. Nothing could take away the searing agony that had imprinted itself into her soul. Perhaps, she was now broken beyond repair. Maybe she would never find peace.

Would accepting the Goddess's offer and going back really solve anything? My mind is a far cry from what it once was. I no longer have the capacity to feel the gentler emotions. And what happens after I've taken my revenge? I'd only be tempted to kill myself. Again. But that won't solve anything. And I know now that neither life or death will grant me any liberation.

I'll forever be trapped in a place where I'm in constant pain. 

And I can't free myself from my hate! It's as much a part of me as the pain.

So I guess I am doomed, then. 

Alex looked at Felicia when she finally stopped laughing. Her red tears had soaked her white dress. The same dress she had burned in. The one that revealed just how malnourished she was. The image made him feel sick. He could not understand how he did not see this before. She was quite literally starving to death and nobody took pity on her. 

He was about to apologize again when she spoke up.

"And how do you know all this, Alex? How is it that you possess all this knowledge when I've been dead longer than you? I've been trapped here longer than you!" Her tone was fraught with hostility. She was as unforgiving and hateful as the moment she was set to burn.

Alex remained seated and lowered his gaze again. 

"It was the Goddess who informed me. After I died from your curse, I found myself standing before Kartara in another spiritual realm." He swallowed hard. "She was most displeased with me and gave me one hell of a beating before she enlightened me."

Felicia arched a brow. "A beating, huh? You looked immaculate right now."

"I wasn't. I wasn't functional for a long period of time. My spirit was severely injured and the healing was even more painful. It was similar to the illness which killed me. I was paralyzed and trapped within a dark hole with red water pouring onto me. At first, I'd thought that maybe I had gone to hell." He shuddered.

"You should have," Felicia sneered. "You deserve to be burned alive! All of you! You all need to feel the exact agony I did!"

"I don't know how much time has passed, Felicia. I don't know what state our empire is in. Empress Matilda has taken charge. And she is a blood thirsty woman."

"As she should be! You have to be ruthless if you wish to survive! Empress Matilda has more right to the throne than that idiot who sentenced me to death! That man never even gave me a proper trial! He just decided I was guilty and his son told them to burn me!" Felicia laughed without humor. "It makes sense why she separated herself from her rotten family! The Cromwells are nothing but an embarrassment!"

"Same goes for the Del Montagues! You, father and those two bitches are nothing but a stain to the Del Montague name. Perhaps, it was for the best that mother and I were removed from the family tree so quickly! Haha. I wonder what she would think if she saw us now, Alex! Her children's lives have been utterly destroyed!"

"That---" Alex couldn't complete his sentence. He had betrayed his birth mother as well. From the moment he accepted her killer as a mother figure, he had betrayed Duchess Moniqua. He did not want to dwell on that. That particular betrayal was even more difficult to swallow than what had happened to Felicia.

"We are here for a reason, Felicia. I know you will never forgive me, nor do I expect you to, but the Goddess brought me here to right my wrongs. She spared me from the hell fires."

"You fool! You are in hell right now! We both are! Being trapped here is a punishment in itself!"

"Felicia, the Goddess wishes to bring us both back to life! She wishes to take us both to an earlier time in our lives so we can change everything for the better."

"Oh! So you also believe I can just go back to living a normal life with the knowledge I possess! You think I'm still the same person I was before I burned?! The fire stripped away more than my flesh, Alex!"

"I..I know better now, Felicia. This time I will stand by you through anything and everything! I'll help you build the life you deserve."

"You make me sick! You think I want help from you!?"

"It's a chance, Felicia! The only one you will get to change your fate and find your peace. I know you crave peace, but you'll never obtain in your current state!"

Alex stood up. He stared at her with pleading eyes.

"What are you doing with your eyes? Save it for someone who cares!" She hated how his vulnerability had an effect on her.

"You are a strong woman, Felicia. I know this will be difficult for you, but please accept my help. You can be freed from your misery, sister! A better life is a tangible possibility once more! You can reclaim happiness, Felicia."

Felicia's lips twisted into a snarl, her pretty face distorting. She looked more animal than human.

"Happiness!?" She spat the word out as if it were a curse. "I have long since given up on happiness, Alex. And you are no brother of mine! We're done talking! I don't accept your deal and I sure as hell do not accept you!" Her words ended with a screech as she rushed forward and tackled him to the ground. 

Alex had no intention of fighting back. Perhaps, her heart would hurt a little less after she released her frustrations.