Chapter LXXV: The Great Boner
(Reyvin's POV)
After offering appropriate retaliation in the form of a summoned bucket of water and earning a hard fought truce by way of a drying spell, the two of us proceeded to simply 'chill out' for the rest of our little break.
Not that Minthara managed to hold on much longer though as the moment we stopped talking she began drifting off and was soon out like a light, despite the distinctly uncomfortable position her neck ended up in.
I was gracious enough to ensure she wouldn't wake up with cramps of the century and left her after tossing a warm blanket over her. Her light snoring may have amused me for a moment but it most certainly did not make a good atmosphere for reading.
And for once I decided not to read reports nor magical texts! Her words about me refusing to live in the now hit far closer to home than I would ever like to admit and as much as a part of me was irritated by the fact I needed it pointed out for me I was mostly grateful for the proverbial reality slap she gave me.
Not as grateful for the literal wall slap though, that shit would have killed a lesser elf in an instant, probably shattered their skulls as well...
Dusting off a local fantasy book I had imported from the Imperial City, I plopped my ass down in my private study, started humming a relaxing tune and delved into the adventure of a Dwemer teenager out of his time looking for his people across the stars.
It was... surprisingly good.
-----
The sound of loud knocking finally made me blink, the act soon repeating as the sun blared into my eyes "What?!" I bark.
The doors are swung open revealing a grumpy and armor clad Minthara "Are you deaf? I've been knocking for a quarter hour already!"
I blink and look back to my book, sitting firmly at page 345 "Huh."
Shaking my head from the mild blurriness waking up the rest of my brain induced I looked back up "What time is it anyway?"
"It is midday already." She informs me with crossed arms "We were supposed to be at Windhelm an hour ago."
Part of me wanted to tell her to leave me for an extra hour as I had just reached a climactic moment in the story but that just made me snort aloud, earning an odd look from her before I calmly closed the book shut and got up "Fine then, let us be off!"
To my great sadness, and a small bit of pride, her eyes perfectly follow me as I summon my robes, teleport in front of her, grab her shoulder, and activate a recall spot I left in Windhelm, all in less than a half second.
We appeared within a hidden alcove of the City of Kings' Noble District, or what was left of it anyway.
Minthara's eyes seemed to shine with smugness as she rose her nose at me and started walking off.
I paused then, waiting for her to march off just far enough for it to be annoying before speaking "The Legion camp is in the other direction."
She stopped, considered just walking on out of sheer spite, and then slumped her shoulders in defeat, grumbling all the way as she returned to my hidey hole and was promptly blasted by my air of smugness in turn.
"Ass." She rolls her eyes and lightly punches my arm.
Naturally not being one to take such things laying down I immediately poke her side through the small gap in her armor, causing her to yelp and jump away in surprise.
Before she can continue our little byplay I start walking "Come on, Tullius is probably worried already and I don't feel like explaining myself to him."
-----
"Where were you?" Are the words that greet me the moment I step into the temporary legionary headquarters situated in the ruined Noble District.
"Why hello to you too Tullius, lovely to see you today." I drawl lazily before turning to the other person present "Sup Tiberius, how is life?"
The conjurer smiles wryly and gives me a wave.
Tullius looks like he wants to say something to vent his mild irritation but just as planned Minthara enters right after me and he promptly shuts his mouth. He gives me an exasperated look before deciding to greet us "Court Mage." He nods courtly "Dragonborn." He barely holds himself back from bowing outright.
Tiberius' raised eyebrow and calculating look quickly told me what he thought of the interaction without me even needing to use my powers.
"Are the troops ready to head out?" Minthara asks, her tone lacking any of our previous levity.
"The light cavalry scouts have already left the city." Tullius answers immediately.
She nods "And what of our actual forces? I don't think we will be able to maneuver the artillery in time to be useful."
"Quite right I am afraid, and even if we did manage it the terrain is unsuitable at best." The General says gravely "My command staff and I have also decided that only the most elite forces will be employed in this operation so as to avoid needless casualties."
"Probably wise." I decide to chip in "Anyone below a certain level would just be a funny little speedbump to the dragons that no doubt await us."
"And the cultists themselves will likely pose no actual threat" Tullius nods before adding "At least not in any sufficient number."
"I can confirm that much." I nod back and toss him a report from my agents "Most of them are just civilians." I tilt my head "Nordic civilians to be sure but just peasants non the less."
"General" Minthara cuts in sounding only slightly impatient "Our forces?"
"Of course." The man sounds almost apologetic "Our numbers will be comprised mostly of heavy infantry, namely that of my own retinue and the legionaries of Castle Dour, a small force of veteran rangers from Falkreath, a small force of knights who have yet to set out to High Rock, and a smattering of veterans from all the various loyalist holds."
"They are aware we are likely to face at least one dragon, yes?" Minthara taps her foot on the ground.
"Yes." Tullius answers in a firm tone "Oddly enough that seemed to motivate a good number of them."
"Nords." I snort, the illusion of a steaming cup flickering into my hand for a brief moment.
Minthara continued asking questions, no doubt annoying the good General at least a tiny bit, and I was more than happy to leave the two of them to it. Tullius was more than capable and she needed to learn to lead armies sooner rather than later.
"So, Tiberius." I shadow step beside my old colleague "You going to be joining us?"
He rolls his eyes "Wouldn't miss it for the end of the world."
I nod along, my condescension seeping through only slightly "Mhm, and did you learn some kind of movement magic?"
"No, why would I?" He blurts and immediately regrets it as he shuffles away from me.
I just keep staring at him and making him squirm for a good minute.
He sighs "Fine, what do you have for me?"
"That is what I thought." I snort and summon a booklet with all of my notes on shadow walking and how to make it as inanely efficient as possible "Make sure to learn this spell, one unfortunate moment of bad positioning as a dragon and you will get turned to paste."
He shivers, suddenly looking at the book with a far greater eagerness than previously "No need to tell me twice." He winces, no doubt remembering the sheer devastation the dragons wrought on Windhelm "But I do have one question."
"Yees?" I lean in.
He deadpans "How by your Daedra of choice's rotten asshole am I supposed to learn this in one night?"
"Oh that is quite simple actually." I grin, it is not a pleasant sight.
He gulps "Yeah?"
"If you don't, then I will help you." My grin widens.
He shivers violently, grabs the booklet and rushes out of the tent.
'Pfft!' Scorch bursts into laughter 'Still a little bitch.'
I cup my chin 'Actually, now that I think about it...'
The greatest bird boi to have ever existed practically radiates anticipation.
'Why don't you go and help him out?' I propose 'I am sure your insight will be invaluable to him.'
Scorch appears on my shoulder, his golden eyes gleaming even brighter than usual "Your wish is my command pops." He bows with one wing on his heart and bursts out of the tent in a flash of gold, his eager cackling likely disturbing a good chunk of the camp as he did.
Before I can bother the remaining duo I feel a slight buzzing sensation coming from within my storage and flick my personal orb into my hand, my eyebrows rising as I processed the message within.
Within the moment I was already moving "You two keep optimizing the plans, I am off to try and get us more help." They barely even registered me as space cracked and I appeared in the College.
-----
The grand ritual chamber within the Hall of Refinement was buzzing with activity as a quartet of immensely powerful magi with the addition of one old enchanter were discussing something, most of them immediately shifting their eyes to me as I entered.
"Student most glorious!" The Lizard Wizard Himself squeaks "Your arrival is timed to perfection!"
"Hello Master." I incline my head at him and proceed to greet the rest "Tolfdir, Sergius, gramps, old fart."
The former trio offer their greetings in turn. Savos and Tolfdir looking quite happy to see me but not nearly as much as Sergius was.
The cheerful expression on the old enchanter's face made me feel quite guilty if I was being honest.
"The master of low witticisms graces our presence once again." Phineas' voice is as dry as a desert "Did you at least finish what I asked you to?"
"Hmmm" I hum "Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?" I shrug 'helplessly.'
He stares at me for a long moment before sighing "Fine, what do you want?"
"And there is that deathless wit!" I grin "I want you to help me hunt down a bunch of dragons and their cultists of course, why I even invited a nice little legion to the party as well!"
"And an actual bloody demigod no doubt." He notes dryly "Fine, I would need to stretch the new bones anyways."
"I'd invite the rest of you but quite frankly I don't want to weaken Winterhold any further than that." I preempt the trio of archmagi "I wouldn't put it beyond the scaly fuckers to strike while our focus is on one place."
Savos seems almost relieved while Tolfdir deflates in acceptance. Shalazar of course looks completely and utterly unsurprised.
"How very powerful." Phineas drawls "I am sure it must stiffen you greatly to imagine a god has to plan around you."
I give him a look "Jealousy is a really bad look, doubly so on a skeleton."
He snorts "Now why would I be jealous?"
"How old are you again?" I grin.
He raises a finger to answer but quickly thinks better of it accepts his defeat.
"That will be twenty septims." I open my palm expectantly.
Phineas narrows his eyes "Twenty septims for what?"
"Twenty septims to scrape your dignity of the ground." I slam him with my wrath of words "Now are we going to get over your fear so we can get to the ritual or do you need me to motivate you further?"
Had he a throat I have no doubt he would have choked on his response then, instead he merely stood in place without saying anything before sighing "Fine."
"Finally." Savos rolls his eyes.
All discussion outside the ritual itself stops as I whip out the modified dragonbone transformation, a ritual specifically targeted at greatly empowering liches, namely their Magicka, their magic resistance, and their general durability.
Doing something like this on one's lonesome would usually prove quite suicidal as it involved effectively modifying the template held within the lich's phylactery, but with four archmagi present and one master enchanter to boot we were able to refine the ritual to a quite frankly ridiculous degree.
Gauldur's enchanting techniques were especially useful here as I was able to essentially supercharge his soul's durability for the duration of it for the mere cost of a dozen grand soul gems, effectively ensuring that he would survive anything beyond the grandest of fuckups.
The way his illusory shoulders sagged when I explained my modification told me all I needed to know about his future loyalties. Man was scared shitless for months and I just practically ensured he was under no risk whatsoever.
After a full three hours of discussion and a dozen times of carving and recarving the necessary circles it was finally time.
We laid the necessary materials in their designated positions, a veritable sea of wealth accumulated over decades by the undead necromancer, and shooed his bony ass to the room's center.
He hesitated only briefly before steeling himself and activating the process.
The rest of us immediately cast wards all around him, Akulakhan joining my side just in case we were not enough.
There were a lot of sacrificial components in that circle.
My decision proved right quickly enough, as a wave of deathly Magicka began slamming into the barrier, no doubt potent enough to kill anyone within the massive tower we were standing in should we ever falter.
The components began turning into a black sludge which then slowly began to crawl up Phineas' form, obfuscating him completely and slowly stretching in every direction.
Finally, a familiar dragon skull, the same one from Labyrinthian's own undead guardian (sourced by Savos no doubt) melted along the rest, but instead of slowly crawling to its destination, the sludge slammed into him, causing an explosion of tar black smoke and a shudder to shake our barriers.
The storm lasted for minutes, but to most of us it felt like an hour had passed before the smoke retracted and coalesced into the room's center, the ornate bottle which no doubt served as Phineas' phylactery immediately turning invisible now that its enchantment was left undisturbed and no doubt getting teleported back to whatever hidey hole it was meant to be in.
But the soul jar was of lesser import to the result of our collective efforts as Phineas' new form was revealed to us.
He was larger now, his features sharper and the flames that served as his eyes were now much brighter yet at the same time far more controlled. The old lich looked almost... regal.
No doubt feeling a mite dramatic, the old fart snapped his fingers, immediately robing himself in pure opulence as he felt his new power.
And then, just as was proper of course, he began to cackle.
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Another one ascends unto the bone zone!
A glimpse may be awarded for the mere price of a stone!
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