thirteen

"Tell me angel, do you want me to tell them?" He whispered, so deliciously as if talking dirty to me. I couldn't stop thinking about the taste of skin or imagining how his pretty lips would taste on mine. The sexual tension and attraction between the two of us was undeniable. I shook my head no and grinded onto his lap whining. I needed friction. I needed him to do something but I immediately regretted it after hearing the beautiful moan fall from his lips and I felt his erection growing under me.

"Shit, Bee, please don't move again", He said and I half whined and half hummed the answer out. He pulled me down more so my arms were wrapped around his neck instead of resting on the head of the couch. He brushed my cheek softly then leaned into my neck. God knows how but he kissed right on my weak spot and I moaned almost loud enough to wake Kyle up.

"Can I kiss you, please? I'm holding back so much," He growled moving up towards my jaw and then the corner of my mouth. I nodded, impatient and turned on. As soon as he pecked my lips, we both sighed in ecstasy but with my luck, I wasn't even surprised when I heard the bell ring.

Goddammit. It had to be now. He groaned, this time frustrated. I got up from his lap but he grabbed my hand making me turn back and raise an eyebrow. He looked like he was struggling as he ruffled his hair at the back of his neck and then puffed his cheeks out.

"Can you cuddle me to sleep tonight?" He asked aggressively blushing. I chuckled and nodded.

"Bonus: I will also hold your hand." He blushed again but smiled with closed lips while looking down. I walked towards the door and opened it to see the boys and Noah standing there.

"Noah! Where were you the past few days?" I asked worriedly. The boys kept greeting me with little forehead pecks and side hugs while they filed inside with shopping bags.

"Why are you so worried? Is it possibly because of how much you missed my good looks?" He joked wiggling his brows.

"Good looks? Boy, have you seen that boy right the-" I was about to point at Young-Jae but when I took in how all the boys were looking at me I decided to go with Seok-Min. He was the safest option because they knew he loved praises and they all looked upto him so much that they would never object.

"Have you seen Seok-Minnie? he's so handsome,"

"You guys, see! I told you Princess thinks I'm the most handsome here." Seok-Min said while opening his arms gesturing me to come. I immediately run into them and he held the back of my head in his palm and one palm rubbing my back lovingly. I was the most comfortable with Seok-Min. He seemed so loving, so understanding, so caring that it made me forget that there was anything missing in life. Maybe it was his warmth, maybe it was the age gap between the two of us.

"She always lets him call her princess!" Young-Jae accused and I stuck my tongue out to him.

"Why do you care? Only I'm suppossed to call her that."

"I don't." He said cheeks taking pink colour, so obvious.

"Yes, he's my big big bro!" I said fixing his hair and dragging him to kitchen to let him taste the pasta I made.

"Bee, we finally got a clue." Nathan's condescending voice cut right through everything and I stopped everything I was doing or thinking.

"It's someone we know all too well." This time it was Noah who spoke.

I know who it is, I just didn't want to believe it.

I'm sorry but I don't think I can let you go for this one, love.

I know who it was, I just didn't want to accept it.

Jullian.

Now that I thought about it, I didn't know much about her background. Her last name, her family, where she came from, why she did, what she wanted from me, why she befriended me or why she lured Jack into her world, or why she was here in the first place and if she's done with everything why doesn't she leave me alone and go?

"It's Jullian, Bee, I know it must be shocking but we need to act now," Trevor said firmly.

"I know and it's not shocking, ever since you guys told me that the only possible way one must've known about the papers being at home or about my family was that somebody was watching them from up close, I listed down every person, I'm close to and nobody except Jullian matched all the details. So, no, I am in fact not shocked at all," I said setting down plates on the dining table along with Jake. Jake tapped on my shoulder and then pointed to his hair.

It was a silent agreement by my side. I tiptoed only a little to fix his hair, he leaned down so I didn't have to tiptoe even a little and I found that his scalp was a little dry and hair not in quite good health. I took my hands out of his hair and turned on my heel towards the drawers by the TV cabinet.

"What made you so sure?" Nathan asked trying to reach back and take his jacket off which was now stuck by the strands on the embroidery of his shirt by the tag. I quickly pulled the tag away from the jacket and slid it down his shoulders, good enough he was sitting. I took the jacket from hummed absent-mindedly folding it while walking to the drawers. I sighed and inhaled deeply.

"You know we never knew her whereabouts exactly and the fact that she just marched into our lives so suddenly. Jack told me she met him at a party and they bonded. The very next day she was in college with me. New college, last year? No family around in town and coincidentally she moves into an apartment near Noah's place. It was like she was here to keep an eye on Jack and his every connection. She impressed mom so quickly that within just a week, she could roam in my house without anybody's permission required knowing every nick and corner of the house like a memorized map." I shrugged taking out a bottle of oil for Jake.

"We could be wrong, she doesn't seem a person as bad as you say she is," Noah said coldly.

See, this was the reason why our relationship didn't work out, we fought all the time and he didn't really ever try to understand what I was saying. Another reason for me to hate that Lizard.

Me and Noah weren't always like that. He used to be the opposite.

We dated for about two years and before she came along, we never fought. I just know she manipulated him into believing things that weren't true. Too bad for her, his heart didn't change.

"She's a manipulator Noah and you're too blinded by her friendship to see it. She's not what you think she is. Jack trusted her blindly just like you did, what good did it do him, hmm? Tell me," I said softly while arranging the boys' clothes and Nathan's jacket neatly into the bags. They were gonna do a ramp walk for me later I knew.

I kept the bags onto one side and sit on the couch beside Young-Jae and Jake quickly sits between my legs on the floor before Trevor had the chance, he was still a little jealous because he didn't get a hug and I knew he wouldn't ask me himself.

"You're a manipulator too, I still don't get how they killed both Jack and Ms. Brown but not you. Bee, you sure you aren't hiding something?" I immediately stopped running my hands in his hair and stayed still.

"Noah." Seok-Min said softly gesturing Noah to apologize. I was not even surprised he was capable of saying such shit. He didn't say anything at first but scoffed when he saw the boys giving him looks.

"No, she needs to hear this. All this time I kept telling you that I love you and I don't even look at other women while you're here hanging out alone with eight guys. You don't know how bad it hurts to see you slip out of my hold just like that. I've been silent for a long time now, cut the shit already if you don't love me then why do you fucking care? Oh I know why, because you have nobody to handle your damn mood swings now, do you? Bee, you always think that the other person is in fault when it's actually you, always."

My hands were shaking and if he said one more thing, I might cry. I might go weak and all this time and effort of me holding myself together would go in vain. I was trying so hard not to break down. This wasn't him, my Noah was never like that, he used to know me so well. She took him from me. Was taking mom and Jack from me not enough for her? I stopped trying to open the bottle of oil and took a deep breath.

I couldn't hold back anymore.

"Really? My fault? And were you actually the one taking care of me or was it the other way round? From your pills to the times you eat to your clothes to taking care of you during those cold sweats, those fevers, bringing you back home after you fled away to a group of junkies every fucking night I took care of everything without complaining once. You're calling me a manipulator? Everything in your house is arranged, cleaned, remembered by me, not her. I loved you in your highs and lows. I cleaned up after you every damn time. You're saying that I'm hanging out with eight guys but do you know why? Do you even wanna know? You only want me so I can take care of your ungrateful ass all the time. Why I fucking care? Because it's the only thing keeping me sane, keeping me from jumping off a cliff because right now all I can do is care for the ones I love. I might not be in love with you anymore but you're still family to me." By then I was standing in the middle of the room, right in front of him and he was listening to me carefully. I took another deep, shaky breath.

I was gonna put an end to this today.

"One more thing, you don't have the fucking right to want me back, to tell me you love me and expect me to say the same or complain about how bad it hurts. Because I don't care about how bad it hurts now when you broke me first. As if being alone in everything for god's sake wasn't enough, you broke my heart into a thousand pieces again today just like before. This is why we broke up, because your blind ass couldn't see her squeezing the life out of me every time she manipulated you into believing that I'm something I really wasn't."

One of the boys came up behind me to unclench my fists and entangled his fingers into them. It was Hyun. I calmed down a little by his actions. I could have punched him right in the nose if he hadn't shut up.