Chapter 7: Burnt Sausage

My gaze escaped the mirror that showcased my godly physical characteristics that would make Aphrodite herself lust after me and I started to pull the closet open, revealing a shelf that held all of my neatly folded clothes.

Knowing that my parents were bringing me to a fancy restaurant; or at least as fancy as a restaurant could get in this town-- I picked out dress clothes from the closet and started putting them on.

Personally, I hated wearing dress clothes that restricted movement all so that you could look better. I preferred clothes that were comfortable, stretchy, and had a lot of airflows. They made me feel free and cozy, and the con of those clothes not looking good didn't matter much to me.

But for the sake of my parents, I would wear these godforsaken dress clothes, and goddammit will I look good in them!

I picked out a pair of grey pants and bent over while holding the belt loop in my hands. The hem of the pants dropped to the floor, and I painstakingly pulled the pants over my feet and pulled them up until the hem was at my ankle.

The pants were uncomfortable, I felt restricted, and I immediately knew that the blazing sun would make my gonads sweat a river.

'Hey, life will be sad if you always think sad thoughts. I should think positive!' I thought to myself.

I started to try and think of positive aspects that the pants brought, my brain working in overdrive as I tried to think of positive things about the pants that would make me feel at least a little better about my current situation.

'Hmm…'

'Hmmmmmmmm…'

'Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....'

'Nope. Nothing.'

Sighing, I decided that I would just need to deal with the pain and starting pulling a leather belt through the belt holes of my pants.

After that, I hurriedly put on a short-sleeved collared white shirt and dawned a black suit over it, before only putting together the middle button of the black suit so that the inner shirt was still visible.

Lastly, I put some black socks on and looked at myself in the mirror.

'Looking good sexy!' I complimented myself in my mind, as I started making random poses in the mirror.

I suddenly heard footsteps coming towards my room and I abruptly stopped posing in the mirror. How embarrassing would it have been if somebody saw me like that?

A head peeked in from my door and looked towards me, showing a mature and beautiful face with two green eyes and a head of long brown hair that ran down her back.

Her eyes widened in surprise; seemingly at me already being ready for the restaurant-- and a smile appeared on her lips.

"Wow, Ender! You are such a handsome boy!" She said cheerfully to me, as she walked towards me with her arms wide open.

If you couldn't already tell this was my mother, Emily. She was currently wearing a red dress that accentuated her curvaceous body and had on prestigious jewelry that made her look like a rich wife.

"You look enchanting in that dress Emily," I complimented her.

She smiled and bent down to give me a hug, and we embraced for a few seconds before parting.

"Where did you learn to be such a smooth talker? It certainly wasn't from your father, I don't think I've ever received a compliment from that old man in years!" Emily said in a joking tone, causing me to chuckle.

"Don't put those lies in my son's head woman!" A voice said in a teasing voice said that came from outside my room.

"Ha, what lies John? I got in this dress right in front of you and you didn't do anything! Don't tell me your thing down there isn't working!" Emily said as she laughed, her wide hips shaking side to side and giving me a show that I wished would last forever.

This wasn't the first time that they had talked about topics that a child shouldn't hear in front of me, and thus I wasn't surprised when the conversation took such a turn. Still, I was baffled at how they were so… open in front of me.

It also wasn't the first time that this particular topic came up for them. Although in this conversation they seemed happy and joyful, they often get into many fights and arguments over small things and bad things. The three major topics are usually John's lack of libido, John's heavy fanaticism with God, and John's anger issues.

Of course, they get over it in the end and makeup, but recently their arguments had started heating up. I was getting worried that one day an argument would take a turn for the worse, and they may even split up.

Perhaps I would need to step in and help them with their relationship, but how?

I'm going to need to figure that out soon, or my family will split apart just like my last one.

"Bah, you know why I don't do those things anymore Emily," John defended himself, as they started walking downstairs.

"I do know why, but what I don't…"

Their voices faded as they walked down the stairs, and I started getting my final preparations done like brushing my teeth and spraying cologne on myself before also going downstairs.

'"Are you still stuck on that!? I already told you-" I heard my father start saying, but his voice abruptly stopped when he noticed that I was coming downstairs.

"Oh, hey Ender. Are you ready?" He said with a smile, making one wonder if he really was arguing with Emily just a second ago. However, it could be confirmed by the dirty look Emily was sending him.

'I guess they're catching on to me about worrying about them and they are trying to stop arguing in front of me. That means the arguing is getting really bad, I should do something before it gets even worse," I thought internally, worry welling up in me.

These thoughts didn't show on my face. Instead I showed a smile and said; "Yeah, I'm ready. When are we going?"

Emily was the one to answer me, as she responded; "We're going in about 10 minutes, you should use the bathroom before we go!"

'Is it a universal thing for parents to tell you to take a piss before leaving the house?' I thought to myself, as I nodded at her and reached the bottom of the stairs.

I decided to spend these ten minutes waiting in the car, so I walked along our wooden floor and to our garage. I picked up my shoes and opened up the garage door with the click of a button near the side of the door, and started to walk towards our truck when I heard a faint rustling across the street; like something was being dug.

I looked over and spotted a burnt sausage sticking out of the ground.

'Did somebody stick a hotdog in the ground?' I thought to myself as I chuckled.

Being the good samaritan that I am, I decided to go and pick up the sausage and throw it away. What if a bird choked on it or something?

I walked across the street without looking both ways; because I'm just cool like that— and approached the burnt sausage.

But as I moved my hand down to grab it, the burnt sausage suddenly turned it around!

I flinched in shock and took a step back, and saw that the burnt sausage had two black beady eyes and a fat pink nose. However, the nose of the diglett had no nostrils; it was just a pink blob.

"Diglett!" The diglett said with a surprised tone, before sinking back into the ground.

'What the fuck?' I thought to myself, as I thought about the multiple questions that entered my mind about the diglett's existence.

'How does it breathe?'

'How does it dig so fast?'

'How does it eat?'

'How does it talk?'

The world may never know the answers to the questions. It will just need to remain as one humanities unanswered questions…

I walked back to my car and got into the backseat with these questions plaguing my mind, knowing that the greatness of the immortal diglett will forever be unknown to us ignorant humans.

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A/N: I would like to apologize for my erratic uploading schedule. I am an amateur author and often find myself distracted while writing, and sometimes I don't write at all. I'm going to try and fix that by reserving small periods of my free time for writing and slowly increasing the time, but for now you will all have to bare with it.

Once again I would like to encourage you guys to review my novel, I read each one and use them to make my story better. We are currently at 5 reviews, 5 away from an official review!

Thank you guys for commenting on my chapters and adding the novel to your reading lists. It's nice to know you guys appreciate my work, 😀.