Chapter 17

It was noon and I was still seating in the bedroom still crying. I really didn't understand why I was crying, I was supposed to stay strong and not cry. I felt like I was a weak person, I didn't want to cry I wanted to tell my parents off, I wanted to tell them what I was feeling inside my heart. Since they were not afraid of showing me their true colours then I shouldn't be afraid of telling them exactly how I feel about them,but that was easier said than done. I would think and plan on how I should tell tell them but the moment I sit or stand next to them I am overcomed by fear. I really do not want to fear them and I don't want to show fear but I just feel fear whenever I am around them and I don't want to. I want to be strong instead of being weak. I heard a slight knock on the door, I quickly wiped my tears. "Come in." I said. And butler X entered with a smile on his face that he always has. Sometimes you wonder if thus guy has any problems in his life, but people say that those who smile the most are hiding a lot of pain and suffering behind those smiles. "May I seat?" He said looking at the edge of the bed and then I nodded my head. He sat down on the bed sighing deeply. "I heard your conversation with your parents." He said. "OH. Sorry you had to hear that." I said looking down. "It's alright,i know how it feels to feel the way you do towards your parents, I know how it feels like to want to tell your parents off but still can't gather the courage to." He said. "You do?" I looked at him, and for the first time since I've been here I saw sadness on his face. "I don't come from a very pleasant family. My father worked in the farms but he spent 98% of his salary on alcohol, he was a drunkard. My mom spelled some vegetables on the streets but she nearly made R10 a month. We really suffered a lot, my parents tried working hard to send me to school and feed me but they just didn't seem to make enough money for all my needs, that is why I was forced to drop out of school and find a job at the age of 17. The worst part about it is that I was doing my matric and I was only left with six months until my final exams start, it hurt me very much to see my dreams fade away like that. My father blamed me for everything, he said that if I wasn't born then they wouldn't have to work like crazy to make sure that I go to school and that it was best that I drop out so that I can start earning some money. I had no chouce but to do as I was told because I didn't have the courage to tell them about my opinion and how all thus made me feel inside...so I found a job as a gardener. I earned enough to bring food on the table. After some time u decided to find an extra job, so I found one in a restaurant, I used to wash the dishes and clean the restaurant,,despite the money that I earned my parents said that I still couldn't go back to school, they told me that if I went back to school then nobody would earn this much money for them, so I decided to forget about school and just give up on my dreams of becoming a lawyer."I watched him as he took a deep breath. I could see the pain and sadness in his eyes, his story was worse than mine."Three years later I was cleaning the floor, when Mr Courtney walked in with his ex fiancé Debbie, I was surprised to see people walking in because the restaurant had closed already but them I heard the manager welcoming him and calling him boss so I figured out that he was the owner of the restaurant. After a while of him and the manager talking, he looked at me and then he walked towards me. He stood in front of me, removing one of his hands from his pocket to shake my hand and I shook it. He asked me my name and why I was working here when I looked so young at first he thought that maybe I was a student in a college or university and I was working here part time. But as soon as I told him my story he offered me a job as his butler and I earned a lot of money. My parents call me all the time to ask for huge sums of money because according to them I'm filthy rich. "He said."Wow, I'm sorry about all that... This is..." I kept quiet, I didn't know what to say at all, this was too much information I could only say sorry. "It's okay if you don't know how to react to this or what to say. What you need to know now is that you are not alone in this, I'll be there for you okay." He said and that smile was back on his face. This man was really something. "Okay, thanks I said. And we both hugged. While we were hugging Maynard walked in and he looked at us shocked."What is going on here?"He asked. I could tell from his voice that he did not like what he was seeing."Please leave us." I said looking at butler X and he looked at me as if asking if I was sure he should and I just nodded my head and then he got up and left us alone. "I asked you a question what is going on here and why were you hugging him?"He asked me with a serious look on his face. I cleared my throat and then I started telling him what had happened.

After telling him everything, he looked at me shaking his head."Since when are the two of you so close?" He asked me, still angry. I thought that after telling him what had happened he would calm down and understand the situation. "What, Maynard..." He cut me off. "Answer my damn question since when are the two of you so close?"He asked me again. "Look he was just trying to help me out okay. Is it wrong for him to do that?" I asked him raising my voice. "And you got close to him just like that. You even let him put his ass on our bed and you even hugged him so effectively. Would you have given him more than a hug if I hadn't walked in." He said. "Maynard, that's enough!!" I shouted. This motherfucker had crossed the line right now. "Don't raise your voice at me woman." He said, pushing me down on the bed and then he climbed on top of me. "What are you doing?" I asked him. "What do you think I'm doing?" He asked me. "Are you jealous?" I asked him. "Qhy would I be jealous?" He asked me. "Because I hugged another man." I said. "It's okay to jealous hubby, it happens to everyone." I said. He let out a slight chuckle and he got off of me. "I'm going to give you your first time tonight and trust me you won't be getting off of bed tomorrow morning." He said. What? Is this guy crazy. I'm not ready for this. I thought that we were going to do it on our wedding night but tonight. I am not mentally prepared for this. I hope and pray that he changes his mind."Don't think too much, I won't change my mind." He said. "I have a conference meeting if you need anything I'll be in the study." He said walking out if the room. This is all happening so fast. My mind can not even process any of this. How did things even get to this? I thought that the day was going to end with me peacefully and quietly going to bed not have sex. How on earth was I supposed to prepare my self mentally, I know nothing about sex at all. I only heard my friends talk about I've never really thought about it or tried to do it. My previous relationships ended because I refused to have sex with them and they called me an immature girl and that nobody would marry an inexperienced girl and that there was nothing special about my cookie. And now this man wants to have sex with me tonight out of all nights. Oh God please do something, make him change his mind, I'm not ready for this I'm just an innocent child.