Chapter 9

It's funny how we think we've lost our emotions and even our soul to something or someone only for it to creep up on us later......

I guess that's just life's way of reminding us that we are mere humans....

"Are you always like this ?"I blurt unintentionally.

She pauses for a while and flashes me an apologetic look

"I'm sorry....."she says

I myself feels sorry,I didn't mean to make her feel bad

I'm about to mutter an apology when she blurts out more words

"But it's just that there's nooo one to talk to in this big wide mansion and it's driving me crazy so I just thought since you're now part of the house hold we'll be you know..... friends and....."she continues chattering on till I zone out

Sigh..... scratch the apology

However a few of her words linger and dance on my mind as I sit there just staring

.... Friend...

I'm not quite sure I still remember what that means....

No one has ever wanted to be me friend....so why does she?

Has she seen my face?

No....

She obviously hasn't,if she has she wouldn't have said that.

But still....

Just then other portions of her words appears in my mind and I shiver from the mix of disgust and fear.

The words are meaningless to her but means too many things for me...

....Now part of this house hold...

God forbid

I've had enough nightmares to last me a decade

The children...

Those graves...

Why am I still here?

"And Jasmine doesn't even want to look at me and--"are the words that snaps me out of my mini anxiety attack

"What?"I mutter now actually looking at her

"You weren't listening"she groans

"Uh"Is my reply

She scrunches up her nose but not from disgust,it seems more like she is thinking about something.

"Can I ask you a question?"she asks

"What's that?"I reply trying not to die of anxiety of just what she might ask me as I look at her

The young maid in question is fairly pretty to a good amount and is chubby with dark skin way darker than mine,she has full lips and long lashes that accentuates her features with a very low carpet cut hair cut.She has on the usual maid's attire that is quite oversized unnecessarily but that doesn't seem to hide her curves.Other than her apparent physical features it's hard to not notice her equally charming smile that is always plastered on her face.Don't get me wrong I like the smile it's genuine... in fact the most genuine I've seen in years.It makes it hard to hate her even with her overbearing nosy nature especially when you're in a house where smiles are fake.I wonder how she manages to smile even when she lives here especially with Jasmine being who she is to her.

"Why are you always covering your face?"she asks

Instantly I get flustered

"Is it that it's because of your religion,or are you shy.You don't have to be shy lemme see I promise I won't tell anyone"she says coming closer making me jump out of the bed before she gets too close

"Come on don't be like that,lemme see"she says ignoring my panicked gesture

At this point in time I'm instantly thrown into a panick attack and I can't think straight.

The fear of how she'll react flashes through my mind then my mind wonders off to how other people have reacted when they've seen me.

The pitiful stares

The soul cutting screams

The look of disgust

The hate in their eyes for having to accidentally look at me

The mocking stares

....like as though I'm some exotic creature

IM NOT A CREATURE!!

I human

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!"I scream

Hitting her stretched arm at me

I wasn't thinking...

I didn't have to think

She lets out a small whimper clutching her now injured arm looking at me with wide eyes.

I look at her now aware of what I've done as I see her arm slightly bleeding.I look down at my hand and find that I'm holding on to a wired hanger.I drop it in shock not knowing just how I got hold of it in the first place.I look at her equally with wide eyes as she stares at me back.I feel myself shaking a little as déjàvu strikes me hard.

The feeling of me not wanting to hurt anyone but then it happens anyway...

Like the way it happened with Jade..

But it wasn't my fault.....

Just then my door swings open revealing tight faced Jasmine at the door.

Her face looks like she's had another fight with her mother and her hair is all over the place like she just got out of bed.

"Breakfast, down st-"she starts but is cut short when she sees Ashanti clutching her bleeding arm.

Jasmine widens her eyes and snaps her head towards me with her eyes laced with shock.

"It was an accident"says Ashanti before scurrying away from the room leaving Jasmine by the door to stare at me with eyes wide open

Why are you looking at me like that?

It was an accident

I swear!!

Don't look at me that way

Those are the words I would like to scream at her but nothing comes out.....

It's just me and her looking at each other

"What did you do?"she asks slowly,painfully

Yes what did 'I' do?.It was always me from the start.'I' am always the problem

But I don't want to be.....

"It was an accident"I blurt

"What seems to be taking the ladies so long to come downstairs?"asks Onyx at the door with a bored look on his face which however changes into a questionable look as he raises his eyebrow at us as he darts his eyes at our faces like as though he us waiting for an explanation for our odd sudden silence.

I speed walk out of the room because of how choked up I feel.

I feel nauseated and my head is spinning a little bit.

I walk briskly to the dinning room in hopes that the girl and the watch dog don't catch up with me.Its funny because we'll still meet at the same table nevertheless.

Once I reach the room I see the couple talking lowly amongst themselves but they immediately stop once they sense my presence and proceed with flashing their smiles at me.I don't bother smiling back as I take a seat opposite them and start eating.

They don't seem to pick offense and just continue eating.Unfortantely I feel a presence at my near left.Jasmine's presence.She sits next to me to my surprise and dismay but I choose to ignore her.

However it's only after a few minutes.Minutes of her doing nothing but eating allowing me to let my guard down,that she leans in and asks me the question I've been dreading to hear.

I feel her hot breath on my ear as she asks the four worded question

"What did you do?"

I shiver and accidentally spill my tea causing a small stir amongst the Noels,all except Jasmine herself.

Ada frowns a little obviously mad that I stained the white table cloth but says nothing.She simply proceeds to press the button again.

Soon after a maid comes in to clean the mess.

She hurriedly cleans my mess with a rag as I keep my head low but I don't fail to spot the band-Aids on her arm as she does so.Ashanti's arm

"I that all ma'am?"she asks once she's done

"Yes,you can go"says Ada dismissing her

I raise my head up and spot her caressing her injured arm.I lock eyes with her for just a few seconds before she tries to flash me a smile like as though she is assuring me that she is ok and that she has forgiven me.But I know better.I look down and try to eat.

I feel eyes boring holes on the side of my face.I look to my far right and spot Onyx's cold eyes looking at me oddly then at Ashanti's figure walking away.Curiosity flashing in his eyes as he does so.

The urge to eat finally leaves me and I stand up and walk to me room.I shut the door behind me and let my body slide down before I hold my knees tightly supressing a scream.

It's only after a few minutes that I spot a small note right next to me.

I look at it for a few minutes not knowing what to do with it.Nevertheless I finally pick it up and open it reading the contents which read.

"Hey,I just wanted to let you

Know that I'm ok,

I don't hate you,

We can still be

Friends"

I look at the paper not knowing what to feel but allow the last phrase engulf my mind

We can still be friends....