nineteen

Sana sat down at a round picnic table in the court yard outside the food court of the local mall of her home town. She really wasn't a fan of visiting the mall when they visited her parents. She wasn't comfortable if she couldn't see outside. Of course the food court had its own entrance with clear glass doors and two story windows, but she still needed out into the fresh air.

It had kind of been a strange day. First, they bumped into Lola, her old roommate and ex-lover from college. Lola looked a bit older than she actually was. Sana's guess was too much partying. A lot of partying had a way of aging a person faster.

Lola had been excited to see her. She wanted to exchange phone numbers and get together. Sana informed her that she didn't live in the area anymore and hadn't for years. They were just visiting her parents and she didn't have time to get together and catch up. Technically, Sana could have made time, but she didn't want to. Then Lola asked to talk with her, just her, for a minute. When they were out of earshot for normal people, Lola told her, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Sana."

"Sorry," Sana had questioned.

"Yes," confirmed Lola sincerely. "I hurt you. I was a selfish fool. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was too stupid to know it at the time. I realized it a few years later, but you were engaged. I'm just hoping you can forgive me and at least be my friend."

"Lola, that was a long time ago," Sana told her empathetically. "You did break my heart, but I am way past needing an apology for it. I've been over it for some time now. And like I said, we don't live here. We live on the west side of the continent in California. We'll probably never see each other again."

Lola's eyes welled up with tears, "I really need a good person like you in my life, Sana."

"I'm sorry, Lola," Sana apologized. "But my life is very full. Yet I do wish you well." Sana was long past having any hard feelings for Lola. It no longer pained her to remember her experiences with Lola. "Good luck, Lola," and she turned away from Lola and rejoined her family.

That was on their way into the mall. About an hour later Sana spotted her ex-fiancée, Micah. She wasn't planning to talk to him and she wasn't expecting him to try to talk to her if he saw her. After all, he had made it a point to avoid her after the relationship ended. So, Sana was surprised when after he spotted her, he made a bee-line straight for her.

Sana's father stepped in front of him and asked angrily, "What do you want, Micah."

"Just to talk to Sana for a minute, Mr. Coles," answered Micah.

"Dad, it's alright," Sana assured her father.

Sana's father stepped aside.

"Micah," Sana greeted flatly.

"Hi, Sana," Micah greeted then he just stared at her for a minute.

"Well," Sana asked Micah.

"You look..." Micah paused, "The police interviewed me. I guess it's a standard procedure when someone has been murdered or suddenly disappears to check out anyone that was close to them."

"I'm sorry for any inconvenience you suffered as a result of my disappearance," Sana apologized politely.

"I'm the one who needs to apologize, Sana," insisted Micah.

"That's not necessary," Sana told Micah. "This is my husband, Romero."

Romero shook Micah's hand and simply said, "Hello."

Sana wondered what she ever saw in Micah. The way he looked up at Romero... Micah was only average height, underweight and not especially good looking in any way. His most striking feature were his blue eyes. But other than that, there was nothing remarkable about Micah.

"You're a very lucky man," Micah told Romero.

"Yes, I am," agreed Romero, "I'm also a very smart man. I knew she was the one the first time I laid eyes on her." Romero took Sana's hand. "If you'll excuse us, we're on our way to lunch."

"Good-bye, Micah," said Sana as she and Romero turned and walked away with the rest of their family. Again, it didn't pain Sana to recall her experiences with Micah. All those old wounds that seemed as if they would never heal had been healed by Romero.

Sana was glad to be outside. She could only take being in any store for so long now, and her mother was a forever shopper who could browse for hours. It was something that hadn't bothered her much before she found herself trapped in the mall. Now, she was content to let everyone else do the shopping.

She sat there in the shade of the large umbrella that came up out of the center of the round stone picnic table, content to wait for the rest of the her family as they ordered lunch in the food court. Romero knew what she liked and needed better than she did and would bring her something to eat after everyone had what they wanted. They would join her outside at the picnic table.

Sana's wandering thoughts are interrupted by a man's voice questioning, "Mouse?" as she sits there at the large round picnic table in the shade of its umbrella.

Sana looks up and sees a familiar face smiling at her. "Brad," she says pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah," says Brad as he straddles the bench and sits next to her. He gently pulls a lock of her hair between his first two fingers. "You look fabulous. I like your hair long like this." Then Brad lays a hand on her swelling belly, "And pregnancy suites you. You're definitely glowing. Is this your first baby?"

"No," answers Sana smiling happily, "this is our fourth."

"Fourth," says Brad surprised. He hadn't ever met anyone with more than two children before. "You said our," he hadn't missed that. "You must be married?"

"Yep," Sana confirms happily, holding up her left hand to show off her rings. "And you," she asks Brad curious.

Brad sighs sadly as he answers, "Divorced."

"I'm sorry," Sana empathized. "Who were you married to? Do I know her?"

Brad nods unhappily, "Yeah, I married Brook."

Sana's mouth drops opens as she exclaims, "You married Brook Bitch! ... Why? Why would you marry her? She was mean. And she always looked like she was smelling shit even when she smiled..." Sana covers her own mouth for a moment, "Please, excuse my potty mouth. Good thing my kids are inside."

Brad laughed, "It's cute when you swear. I'm hardly offended. It seems you remember my ex-wife perfectly." He shakes his head, "I can't believe I married her either. I let her lead me around by the nose for years... And I never even liked her. It was just everyone kept saying we were perfect for each other."

"I never said anything like that," responds Sana. "I could never see what you saw in her. Yeah, she was technically beautiful externally. But even when she smiled... She was just an ugly human being."

Brad nods his agreement, "You are absolutely correct. I should have been talking to you instead of my so called friends. The other guys kept telling me I had the best piece of ass in the whole school. She did anything and everything I wanted sexually, a teenage guy's dream... It turned into a nightmare."

"Was that it," asks Sana, "was that why you were with her, the sex?"

"That was part of it," admits Brad. "But she kind of staked her claim on me freshmen year of high school. I didn't see it happen, but she threatened other girls. I heard she even beat a couple up for talking to me. But I couldn't get any other girls to talk to me by half way through freshman year. I was stuck with her."

"Oh, Brad, I'm so sorry," Sana feels sorry for him.

"There were other girls I was interested in," shares Brad. "But if she caught me looking at another girl, she would freak out, cussing, screaming, slapping the shit out of me."

"Brad, how could you put up with abuse like that," asks Sana.

Brad shrugs, "I didn't know what else to do, except try to keep her happy. I had a serious crush on you," he admits, "Sometimes I would just stare at you wishing... But I didn't know how to get rid of her and I didn't want her trying to hurt you... I thought: college, I'll be free of her when I go to college. Except she made sure she got into the same college as me. I didn't even tell her which college I chose. My mother told her. So, I went from being her high school sweetheart to her college sweetheart."

"So, how did you end up married to her," asks Sana.

Brad shrugs, "I damn sure never proposed to her. She bought the engagement ring herself junior year of college and started telling people we were engaged and I didn't dare to disagree with her. She set the date for a year after we graduated from college. I didn't help plan it and I didn't help pay for it, not a penny. I just kept hoping that she would notice I didn't want her, that I didn't love her and move on. But then I found myself saying, 'I do,' terrified to say, 'I don't.'

Then after we were married, she stopped acting in front of my parents. My mother finally asked me why I married her. I broke down and cried. I told my parents everything. At that point, we had been married for ten years and she had decided it was time to have baby. I said, 'No,' I didn't want a baby, not with her. And it was on, for the first time I argued back. I told her I didn't love her, I had never loved her and I wasn't having a baby with someone I didn't love. And she laughed at me, told me I was stupid, that our relationship was never about love, it was about appearances. And to continue to look like we were the perfect couple, it was time to have a baby. And according to her, we were going to have two five years apart just to make it look good. I refused..."

Brad closes his beautiful blue eyes for a moment. "The neighbors called the police because they thought I was beating her. But I was the one who ended up at the hospital getting stitches." Brad pulls a swoop of his blond hair away from his face and shows her a scar along his hair line.

Sana reaches up and gently touches the scar, "Oh, Brad, that's horrible."

"I called my mom from the hospital," shares Brad, "She told me to hop the next air shuttle and fly back home, just leave everything. I called my job from here... My dad taught me that real men don't hit women. But when I got home and he saw my black eye, the stitches, bruised ribs... He told me I should have socked her one good at least once. That was when my mother finally asked me why I married her and I told them everything. I had my pictures, the police report and hospital records when I filed for divorce. Brook tried to fight the divorce, refused to sign off on the divorce decree. The judge signed off on it for her. You were missing during that time while I was going through the divorce with Brook. What happened? Where were you?"

"I accidentally wandered onto a military base where some top secret stuff was going on," shares Sana. "Nothing I'm at liberty to discuss. But that's where I met my husband, so it worked out for the best."

"How did you accidentally wander onto a military base," asks Brad.

"It looked like a mall and I had to pee," admits Sana with an amused smile. "Hence, I am no longer a fan of visiting the mall."

"Ah," says Brad in realization, "that's why you're sitting out here by yourself."

"Yep," confirms Sana, "I was in there about as long as I can stand now. They'll be along shortly. We're going to eat lunch out here."

"It's certainly a beautiful day for that," says Brad with an appreciative smile for the beautiful summer day.

Sana hears the doors to the food court open and the familiar voices of her family talking animatedly. She turns and smiles as she tells Brad, "Here they come now."

Brad turns his head and looks in the direction of Sana's stare. There is an obvious family headed in their direction; a mature couple too old to be the parents of the three beautiful children, and two men. But one of the men stands out from the other men. He's tall, basketball athlete tall like himself, but more than a few centimeters taller than himself. Brad had never before looked at a man and thought, wow, before. But wow is what he is thinking. The man is simply beautiful, and seems without flaws. His hair is very long, flowing down to his perfect posterior. It's a deep chocolaty, chest-nutty shade of brown with blond highlights. Brad thinks the man must spend a fortune to a hair dresser to get those blond high lights to look so natural. His shoulders are broad and he's well-muscled without being too thickly muscled. Brad figures the man has found the perfect blend of cardio and weight training and works out religiously. He remembers Sana said she met him on a military base while she was missing and wonders if he is a soldier despite the long hair. Brad's afraid that a man that looks so perfect must be demanding and selfish. That's how his ex-wife, Brook, was. Brad is suddenly worried about what Sana must be putting up with from such a man.

The youngest child wiggles to be put down. The beautiful man that has her on his hip puts her down and she runs to Sana.

"Mommy," she calls happily as Sana picks her up, hugs her and kisses her.

"Who's that," asks Sana's daughter pointing at Brad.

"That's Brad," answers Sana smiling happily, "He's an old friend of Mommy's from school."

"You sure know a lot of people, Mommy."

"Yes, it seems I do... Brad, this is our daughter, Summer. She's three... Summer, will you say hello to Brad, please."

"Hello, Brad," greets Summer soberly. Then she states matter-of-factly correcting her mother as she informs Brad, "and I'm three and a half, and I'm going to be a big sister in approximately two months."

Brad raises his eyebrows surprised and smiles, "Wow, Summer, you're quite a big girl then."

"Yes, I am," confirms Summer maturely.

Sana and Brad exchange amused looks as everyone else arrives at the table.

"I want to sit by Grandma," Summer announces.

"Fine, fine, you can sit by me," says Sana's mother as she picks Summer up.

"Okay, everybody, freeze for a minute so I can introduce you," request Sana and they did.

"Everyone, this is Brad, Brad Bodily, we went to the same elementary and high school together. Brad, these are my parents, Joseph and Katherine."

Brad is all smiles as he shakes her parents' hands, "It's very nice to meet you both."

"That's my brother, Carson.

Carson gives Brad a sheepish little wave and Brad waves back.

"This is our oldest, Wolf. He's ten."

Brad shakes his hand. "Good handshake," he compliments

"Thanks," Wolf accepts the compliment with a nod.

As Brad looks at the three beautiful children, he notes that have the same rich chocolaty, chest-nutty hair as their father. Except, instead of blond highlights, they have highlights the same mousy-brown as their mother's hair which makes Brad realize it must be a hereditary trait, not a salon job.

"This is our second oldest, Rain," Sana introduces, "and he's seven."

Brad shakes his hand, "Rain, I like that."

"It was raining the day I was born," explains Rain pleasantly.

"Ah," acknowledges Brad.

"Okay, start sitting and eating," Sana tells everyone and a type of organized chaos ensues.

"I saved the best for last," Sana tells Brad with a happy and pleased smile. "This is my husband, Romero."

The two men shake hands and nod to each other.

"So this is the man who caught my Mouse," says Brad eying Romero appraisingly.

After placing the food he was carrying on the table, Romero straddled the bench on the other side of Sana facing Brad. Brad had given Sana a comfortable distance when he sat, but Romero sits right against her side. His moves are smooth and graceful as he organizes Sana's food in front of her.

"That would be me," Romero says smoothly, "And you're the man who gave my wife a nickname she hated, that made her feel ugly and followed her all the way through high school."

Brad's face says he's a bit confused, "I... Do you mean Mouse?"

"Yes," confirms Romero, "that would be it."

"But Mom is beautiful," says Wolf.

"Extremely beautiful," adds Summer.

"Our mom is the most beautiful mom ever," declares Rain.

"And I completely agree," responds Brad, "I've always thought she was beautiful. I have always especially loved her hair. It's such a unique shade of brown, much lighter than one would usually see on someone with such beautifully naturally tan skin, but it's perfect for you. And when I saw that mouse the same color... I never meant to hurt you, Sana. It was only supposed to be my pet name for you to let you know you're special to me."

"See," Romero tells Sana with a smille, "I told you he hadn't meant for it to be anything bad. He's fond of you."

"Very fond," confirms Brad a little sad.

Sana looks at Brad, "At the time, I didn't realize that. You didn't say you liked the color of my hair. You just said it was the same color as a mouse. I thought that was bad. Especially, when the other kids called me that it wasn't said nicely, and they would pull my hair.

"Is that why you always hated your hair," ask Sana's mother. "She tried several different colors after she started college. Bleached it blond, dyed it red and black, none of them looked right on her. She even shaved her head bald once."

Brad's mouth drops open in shock, "You didn't," he asks Sana.

Sana nods confirmation, "I did. I was fed up. None of the other colors I tried looked right."

"If you've known Sana since elementary school," Sana's father asks, "Why haven't we ever met you before?"

"I wish I could blame it on the fact that I'm a couple of years older," Brad shares, "but you never met me before because I wasted years hanging out with selfish, self-centered, arrogant people who were sure they were better than everyone else because they were the perfect height and weight and crap like that, that doesn't matter." He looks at Sana with sad regret as he says, "I missed my chance."

"Chance for what," asks Wolf.

Brad smiles at Wolf, "I missed my chance to have what your parents have." He thinks to himself: I missed my chance to be with Sana and be your father.

"I'm so sorry things went so badly for you, Brad," Sana empathizes. "You didn't deserve what you went through with Brook. But that's been over for a while now, have you been dating?"

Brad makes a face, "Kind of, I wouldn't go out at all for a couple of years after the divorce. I've tried a couple of dating sites, but... I don't know," he shrugs. "I think I need some good friends first. Is it okay if I get your number and email? Maybe the three of us could have brunch together or something. I'ld like to hear how you won my Mouse's heart."

"We'ld be happy to give you our numbers and emails," responds Romero, "but we don't live in the area."

"Oh, are you very far away then," ask Brad.

"California," answers Sana, "At the beginning of the summer, we fly over by shuttle, stay for two weeks and Carson flies back with us and spends the summer. At the end of summer, my parents fly out to us, spend two weeks and fly home with Carson."

Brad nods, "Still, I'ld like to keep in touch."

They exchange phone numbers and email addresses.

"If I had someone I thought you should meet, Brad," asks Sana, "would you meet her?"

Brad thinks for a moment, "At least I know you would never introduce me to someone like Brook."

Sana shares, "I know someone who has a line on some women who are wife and mother material, but they're having trouble meeting guys who want to settle down and have a family. I'll get back to you with a couple of names and phone numbers."

"Okay," responds Brad, "I better get inside and find my mother's birthday present. She has dropped some not so subtle hints about what she wants."

"Take care of yourself Brad," Sana tells him sincerely.

"It was so good to see you again, Sana," Brad tells her. Then he tells Romero, "You take good care of her. She's special."

"Yes, she is, and yes, I will," Romero responds to Brad smiling contentedly.

Then they watch him walk into the mall.

"It's so sad," Sana tells Romero, "He ended up married to Brook. They were getting divorced when we met. Apparently, it was an ugly marriage and a messy divorce. We'll talk to Hannahan and see who's in the area here."

"That's a good idea," agrees Romero. Besides, he didn't want Brad getting ideas about his wife.

"I love you," Sana tells Romero, "You're everything I didn't know I wanted and needed."

Romero kisses her deeply, "I love you too, and I'm glad you're all mine." He hugs her.

"What about us," asks Summer, "You have to share Mommy with us."

"That's different," Romero tells Summer, "I'm happy to share Mommy with all of you."

Sana didn't know how she'ld gotten so lucky. Perhaps she would have had a happy life with Brad if things had been different. But someone had known she was coming and made Romero just for her. She has the perfect husband and beautiful children. She loves Romero and their children, and she finally loves herself.