Mugen Train Arc: Tanya and Kyojuro

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Tanya was dead, for the third time she was dead. It was bad enough that it meant that she was losing against Being X's plans, even if that plan was two demons clearly far stronger than her of which just one would be enough against her. In fact mostly one of them was the reason she was killed. But she was stuck in frozen time and forced to stare at her own corpse and the corpse of her boyfriend. While Tanjiro, Kanao, and the others cried by them. She for once could move around in the frozen time-space as well. But there was a new addition, one Tanya never even considered as a possibility of what could happen, until now. 

Kyojuro was here. He had died as well, having the worse fatal injury of the two. A visible one that Tanya could see if she looked back at his corpse. She preferred not to though. Tanya thought Being X had brought her here to gloat about her first failure before sending her to the next world, but Kyojuro being here as well confused her. She had asked both Beings "why is Kyojuro here?" 

The man himself was confused by this. "What do you mean here? I thought we just died!" Kyojuro proclaims loudly, though his smile was gone. He could after all see both of their corpses, but that was not the sole reason he was not smiling, as he could see the four Demon Slayers who helped them on this mission were frozen in time. They were still crying and seeing them stuck like that made him feel guilty for something that was not even his fault.

Tanya's teeth seethed and said "we are dead, the self-proclaimed gods just wanted to toy with me!" the two Beings were still unresponsive for now. Kyojuro walked closer to her, when he reached out for her shoulder she knocked it away. "Tanya, what self-proclaimed gods? You mean those voices?" he said while rubbing the hand she had knocked away. Tanya nodded, she had knocked it away because she could not be entirely sure this was some kind of trick. But Kyojuro not smiling only made her feel worse as if he was dragged into her problems. "Yes us, you may call me Being Z. the grumpy one is Being X" the feminine voice said as Kyojuro moved back a bit seeing two nutcrackers by their feet. "Don't call me grumpy." the male-like voice said.

"Being X…Being Z?" Kyojuro sweated heavily, if these were divine beings it was certainly no gods he had ever heard of. Suddenly Tanya picked up both toys since she could actually move for once. Her look of anger threatened to burn them at a glance. "You bastards, first Being Z you do nothing to balance out X's shit, and now you bring Kyojuro into this?!" she was just as furious as every other time she was killed, but this time felt just a little worse. "Are those the names you kept mentioning?" Tanya suddenly turned her head back, she was too angry to drop her glare but she was not angry at Kyojuro. The now dead Flame Hashira gulped "I had heard you say 'curse you Being X' and stuff like that before. it usually came either before one of your plans or when you were just frustrated. So I thought nothing of it. But…have you always had communication with them? Whatever they are"

Being X cut in by saying "we are divine beings" Tanya had dropped him and Being Z, but since the nutcrackers were just there to represent their voices he was able to say all of it. "Technically yes, but they were the ones that often forced me into the conversation. If I had it my way I would never have to worry about these false gods." Being X yelled out "you're the one that's been done in twice by my plans" the blue nutcracker turned to the red one a bit "now is not the time."

Kyojuro stared blankly for a few seconds, he finally said "and why did you not tell me?" he did not sound angry when asking that question, just confused like everything else in this situation. Tanya did not move her stare from Kyojuro, "because it was none of your concern, and it matters less now. My time here is over, not that it ever mattered. Because my time here was always limited." she briefly explained about her thirty-year time limit. Kyojuro raised both his eyebrows. "Do…do you truly think it does not matter?"

Tanya did not drop her angered stare, she had planned to tell him if she managed to get Muzan killed before her time limit was up. That way she could peacefully live in whatever remaining time left she had, but that never happened, what was the point if she did not succeed? That was what she thought process was. She did not know why Kyojuro was here, but she was not going to let either Being Z or X to get the satisfaction of her guilt. 'Besides, we will never see each other again. Maybe it is best he not think the best of me' she thought as she slowly collected her words. She said bluntly "none of it mattered, this world is but one of several that I have to live through, and is the third life I have had."

Tanya explained then how she lived three lives now, formerly as a child soldier struggling to survive. And one that had caused a worldwide war, causing the death of unknown millions, and causing a large chuck of that by her own hands or strategies. Her first life was not that much better, she had coldly fired many people, but she fired them without regret and still feels the same as she did back then about every person she fired. That they deserved it for being lackluster workers. She also explained that she was a man in her first life, though that was more extra information. Tanya went on to explain the bet between the two "divine" Beings and how she can live an infinite amount of lives where she is always comfortable if she is successful in a majority of seven lives, her being dead before Muzan means she has already failed once. "Which I guess makes this world more of a detriment since I was hoping I would just complete the first four easily." 

It had somewhat hurt Tanya to say, Kyojuro had not been a burden at least not one she minded having. But would it matter how she felt about him three or four more lifetimes from now? To her it seemed logical that it would fade, she would never hate Kyojuro. But right now he needed to know who she really was so that he could die without regrets. Tanya did not truly want it, but she was trying to get Kyojuro to hate her. Or at least to forget about her, he was already going to when he reincarnated after all. Unlike her he had been selfless his whole life, he would reincarnate without issues.

The normally eccentric man stood there stunned. He was still trying to take all this information in at once, it was to much to learn in so little time. He was hurt, only because he found this out after dying. His thick eyebrows furrowed a bit "I don't…I can't believe you. You cannot be telling the truth when you say this life of yours did not matter!" now it was his turn to glare, it was intense. Tanya shook her head a little "I have told you nothing but the truth-" Kyojuro interrupted her and shouted, "I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT IT MEANT SO LITTLE TO YOU!" his glare dropped a bit "I…there is no way you thought that your sisters meant so little, there is no way you thought training Kamado and his friends meant so little. I…I don't want to believe that we meant so little" Tanya's stare dared to drop, but she kept it up. 

Kyojuro gripped his fist "who cares what you have done in your previous lives? You have saved so many in this one. I know you saved hundreds of humans. During our fight with the two upper ranks, you said you wanted to leave, possibly leaving every passenger to die. And yet you stayed with me, if you truly were so selfish if you truly did not care. You would have let me stay behind to save your own life." Tanya's forehead perturbed a bit "that was only because I did not want you to die!" Kyojuro raised his right arm "so you admit it! You did care!"

Tanya raised hers and said "so what? It doesn't matter! I was only helping other people as a slayer because in order to win I needed to ensure Muzan Kibutsuji's death." she huffed out a bit before continuing. "Had the goal been to guarantee his victory over demon slayers and humanity I would have become a demon, I would have killed every one of the people you claim I cared about so much! And I would have done so without remorse. That includes you Kyojuro!" the two backed away from one another, as they had only now just realized how close they stood. Though it was only an alternative Scenario, Tanya knows what she said was exactly would she would have done in the reverse situation as a demon. Her knowing every friend and family now was a mere result of circumstance, once somewhat crafted at that. 

Seeing Kyojuro be quiet indicated to Tanya that this was over. She did not look at the nutcrackers "let's move on now, I want to be quicker in my next life." but then Being X laughed "as entertaining as that was, that was not the reason we are doing this" of course got both of Tanya and Kyojuro's attention. "yeah…Tanya, I know you are mad at me. However, I let Being X get away with all of that in return for being able to return you back to life" Tanya's glare dropped a bit but she was not falling for Being Z's words. "what? Bullshit! After all of that, you expect me to believe that you will bring us-" Being X cut her off "us? Hahaha, only one of you can come back to life, the other will act as the balance, and remain dead." Tanya's eyes widen, that was why Being X agreed to Being Z's deal, and it became all the more clear why, when Being Z said "and you two will decide which of you gets to come back to life." 

All of it was exactly what Tanya expected of the two beings, not that she even saw this coming though. Being X waited to bring it up till after she and Kyojuro fought, now he knew who she truly was and she had basically admitted she had other lives to live after this, her coming back after saying everything she just said was also selfish. Kyojuro would have every reason to stay now, while the argument could be made that she should be the 'balance' and remain dead. And unlike Kyojuro, she would just move on to the next world. The two of them deciding made this a more difficult situation, and Tanya was for once unsure she could talk her way around it. 

Kyojuro crossed his arms. "If I may, um…Being X and Being Z?" both responded "yes?" Kyojuro looked at Tanya. 'Crap, he is going to say exactly why he should be the one to stay, if we both vote for ourselves what happens? It falls to Being X I am screwed!' she needed to think of something, anything. But then Kyojuro asked "we are voting right? What happens if it is a draw?" after a few moments of silence Being Z responded, "we have all the time in the world, we will have you two revote until it is decided handily." Kyojuro nodded and his smile returned "in that case, I believe this vote is unfair! For we do not have all the information!"

"What does that mean?" Tanya asked as she was unsure what more Kyojuro needed to know. She was relieved to know that no matter what either she or Kyojuro would decide, she still needed to figure out how to convince him to vote for her without her voting for him. "I wish to see a bit of Tanya's life, I suppose a bit of the first two actually. And a bit of mine. Then we will have all the information we need to decide!" Thunder could have struck behind Tanya, she did not expect that. But if he sees even a little bit of her previous life she was more screwed than before! 

"This is acceptable!" both Being X and Z replied again at the same time. Tanya gripped her fist "what are you trying to do Kyojuro? What could possibly be gained from all of this?" Kyojuro smiled widely and said, "after this is done, let's settle it on one vote Tanya." Tanya crossed her arms and said "fine, but my vote will be the same no matter what."

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Tanya and Kyojuro watched "her" or rather, him, work on his computer. Daisuke the Salaryman, a blank stare as he typed up his report. "What an odd device!" Kyojuro shouted, luckily it was just a vision so it did not get Daisuke's attention. Of course, Kyojuro was amazed by modern-day technology. Tanya had to explain multiple times what something was, it was a little irritating. "And what's this?!" Kyojuro's hand went through a lamp. "Kyojuro…even we have lamps" he looked back at the lamp and then back at her "right!"

Nothing important was happening in this memory. A vein popped on her head when Kyojuro asked what another object was "Kyojuro that's a mobile phone! I told you this already!" Kyojuro smiled and said "yeah I know, I just wanted to see that look again." she grumbled loudly and refrained from answering any more questions.

The next memory Daisuke was firing a woman who was taking more days off then should have, claiming them as sick days. "Please… I just did it to take care of my child, you know he's only two years-" Daisuke said coldly "if your child is your priority then getting fired is good, no?" The woman clammed up. "Your child has nothing to do with the company. Your child does not sign your paychecks. Your child does not have to make up for all the work you missed." The woman held her skirt "you bastard! You don't know what it is like to have a child, and you never will!" Daisuke adjusted his glasses "then I suppose unlike you I won't have my work disturbed. Now leave before I call security."

After the woman stormed out of the room Tanya and Kyojuro were silent. 'I still stand by my words' Tanya thought to herself, the child was loud anyways and disturbed the office on the day she brought it into work. "E-even now you were frightening." Kyojuro had grey lines over his forehead. Tanya sighed "what did you expect?" Kyojuro leaned back a bit and looked at Tanya "nothing else!" Tanya grumbled, she did not understand what Kyojuro was getting out of this. 

They saw a few more memories all the same with her previous life. She coldly and bluntly fired a worker, they cried or gave some sob story, and the salaryman replied coldly as well. Slowly Tanya felt guilty, but she still stood by "her" words and felt no remorse for it. She could feel bad for them but still think it was the right call. The logical call, is for them to get fired. The final memory they saw was of the man who pushed Daisuke the salaryman into the train. Tanya turned her head, not wishing to see her first death in vivid detail.

"Happy Kyojuro?" she asked with an annoyed tone. Kyojuro shook his head, "now on to the next one!" Tanya shook her head "no, we should just vote already!" Kyojuro shook his head "not until this is done!" after a bit of back and forth they moved on to Tanya's second life.

They had watched her become a soldier of the empire. "Wow what interesting magic! You did not even have to become a demon Tanya Von Degurechaff!" Kyojuro had clearly enjoyed her new name, technically old, name. "I don't even have the 'Von' yet!" she yelled in frustration. Kyojuro kept shouting names as familiar faces came by, Koenig, Weiss, Viktoriya, etc. Tanya had to tell him what their names were here since some were a little different. 

Kyojuro was both shocked and kinda entertained when Tanya "trained" her unit. She was actually trying to get them to quite the entire time. Watching now as an observer Tanya had a little more respect for them. "So brutal Tanya Von-" Tanya gripped his arm, "stop. It." Kyojuro grinned "of course commander" Tanya grumbled while her face went a little red. She muttered 'idiot' under her breath.

Then came her face-off with Mary, Kyojuro was shocked to see Mary was on the opposing side. And he was even equally shocked both she and Mary survived their first encounter. "Yeah…the first one at least." Kyojuro raised an eyebrow "are you okay?" Tanya seethed her teeth "never mind, Mary does not have any memory of this life. But just in case you are going to ask, yes, I would gladly kill her again if she becomes my enemy. How you know her, is unimportant." Kyojuro stared back, he was a bit nervous seeing Tanya so injured, even if it was not the one he was with. Luckily Viktoria had come to get Tanya safely after Mary got away. 

They jumped between different memories. Surprisingly when Tanya had forced Glanz to fire upon innocent civilians who were evacuating seemed to be the only memory that truly horrid Kyojuro, and there were worse things she had done so Tanya was surprised it was only that. Even he muttered, "you really were a devil." Tanya adverted her gaze "I suppose I still am in some ways." Kyojuro shook his head "I don't think so." Tanya rolled her eyes a bit. 

Then came the final day. Tanya already had to relive her final day and the worst day in her life. She thought she would be prepared for it but she was not. Her whole body flinched when she saw Viktoriya got shot twice by Mary. "Tanya?" Kyojuro said worryingly but Tanya said nothing. Her previous look of disinterest when watching her previous lives turned into a sour scowl. Soon almost everyone under her command had been killed. Soon Tanya and Mary shot each other fatally. Mary had died first, but the shot would be enough to kill Tanya as well. If the plummet toward the ground did not kill her first. 

Tanya stood up "we are done now Kyojuro" she sounded more like she was demanding it. "Tanya…just a little more. I understand a bit better, but please, both of us need to know everything we can." Tanya grabbed Kyojuro again "what could possibly be left to see?!" Kyojuro brought his hands over hers "you said it yourself, you lived three lives after all."

Soon they were back in their only shared lifetime. Though they were watching Tanya with Kanae and Shinobu. Kyojuro just laughed as Tanya used her, not as brutal but still very brutal tactics on those poor slayers in rehabilitation training. After seeing that she was fully capable her tactics in rehabilitation training were sane by comparison. "It is not funny Kyojuro," she said with a grumble. Kyojuro nodded "yes, it is cute instead!" she hit him on the head after that.

They saw a memory where Tanya was in a hot spring with Kanae, Shinobu, and Aoi. Kanae had dragged them all along after she completed her mission. "Huh" Tanya muttered quietly as she noticed that she was actually smiling in the hot spring while talking with her sisters. "You miss her, Kanae, right?" Kyojuro asked softly while the two observed. Tanya at first said nothing, she observed while she, Shinobu, and Aoi cringed as Kanae regaled them with a story about herself and Sanemi from their recent mission. Tanya did not look at Kyojuro when she gave him an answer, "maybe."

The next few memories were when Kanao was excited to go shopping with Tanya, Kanao was still young but not too young. Kanao had decided between her and Shinobu using her coin, and then Shinobu forced Tanya into going saying 'she needs to spend more time with the young ones.' which of course meant Sumi, Kiyo, and Naho were there. Tanya spent time keeping them out of trouble while they bought some things. Tanya got them some fruit candies, and all four girls said "thank you Tanya-Nee!" both memory Tanya and current Tanya looked away a bit flustered.

Then there were memories with her reincarnated friends. And of course Tanya'a memories with Kyojuro. "When did that happen?" Tanya asked with a flustered face as twice she sees her fall asleep against Kyojuro's shoulder without her remembering when it was. The first time was when she was still training to become a demon slayer, the second time was shortly before they started dating. Kyojuro said once "I was so nervous, too nervous to move even! What if I woke you up!" Tanya did get some amusement out of seeing Memory Kyojuro sweat so hard while she was laying against him.

After seeing the many times the two of them slayed demons, the final memory they saw was when they both confessed. Tanya took a little longer, but she rescinded Kyojuro's while the fireworks went off around them. Even Tanya could not help but smile as she watched. But soon the two of them were back in frozen time by the Mugen train, their corpses still there, Tanjiro and the others still crying over them. Tanya and Kyojuro looked at their corpses and then back at each other. "All of that and we are back here. Memory lane was nice but I don't see how that helps us Kyojuro." 

Kyojuro smiled he turned slightly away from her and crossed his arms. He took a deep breath in and out "Tanya…what is a 'comfortable life' to you?" Tanya quickly answered "one without much danger, one where I can relax and enjoy myself, one without two voices who will go unmentioned." she meant Being X and Z of course. Kyojuro then asked, "was your first life comfortable by that answer then?" Tanya opened her mouth, at first no words came out, but she answered "until I was pushed into that train my life was content it was fine." Kyojuro shook his head "I don't think I have to tell you there is a difference between content and comfort." 

Tanya opened her mouth again but this time closed it right away. After a few seconds of silence, she asked "so what?" Kyojuro's arms fell to his sides "Tanya, ignoring every moment fighting demons, was this life uncomfortable? Was it…unenjoyable?" he did not ask about her second life, he already knew what her answer was to that given she was in an active war. Tanya said "is that why you wanted to see everything? I already told you-" Kyojuro said quickly "I am not asking what you would have done in a different scenario. Don't play dumb with me Tanya, I thought I was the only one who was allowed to be an idiot."

Anyone hearing Kyojuro talk like that would be surprised, Tanya was not the exception. But he was right, she knew exactly what he was asking. She knew deep down why. Tanya stared at the ground and soon gave her actual answer. "Around my sisters. Around my fellow demon slayers. Around you Kyojuro. All of it felt good, it felt right. But I always knew it would not last forever." Kyojuro said with a small smile "you heard me during my fight right? What I told Akaza was that it is because our lives are so limited that is what makes them so precious. Even if the one you had here would have been short even without this fight happening, it would still be important. That is why I could not believe you, Tanya when you said it did not matter."

"Kyojuro…" Tanya saw a bit of tear run trickle from the corner of Kyojuro's eyes when he faced her again. "What I saw from your previous lives cemented what I had thought exactly. In your first life, you had no one important so you could not connect with anyone, it was what made you think everyone needed to have a purpose to matter." his smile never dropped "In your second life you made genuine connections, but the situation was far too dire for you to fully connect with them. And finally, this life. Tanya, I told you back at the festival that I wanted to be the man worthy of being beside you. So please answer truthfully, did everyone you know here mean so little?" 

Tanya sniffed a bit "no…I have no doubts I will be unable to forget any of you." Kyojuro smiled and immediately said "thank you, Tanya. Thank you for making my decision an easy one." Tanya looked confused before Kyojuro shouted out "Being W I vote for Tanya to be resurrected!" Tanya and both Beings yelled "WHAT?!" Being X also shouted, "and it's Being X or Being Z!"

"Why Kyojuro?" it was Tanya asking it this time. "You don't get to decide so easily! I am voting for y-" quickly Kyojuro ran up and covered Tanya's mouth. "Tanya, I do not care what you would have done. And your previous lives cemented my thoughts that you need to live. Because….because I want you to end this life knowing it's your life not one version of it. If these beings truly have no power over you then please, live the rest of your life here as your own."

Tanya shook her head, she did not want this to be over, she did not want Kyojuro to leave! "Then I'll use what I won from my when we tied back at the festival, my favor to ask you to do so." Tanya's eyes started to water as she glares at him. "Tanya, I love you. Please live on, for me and for your previous lives as well." Kyojuro moves his hands and kissed Tanya on the lips, she closes her eyes as tears fall down from them. When their lips parted it was done, Tanya wanted to say something but no words came to hers except a tearful "I vote for myself…"

Kyojuro smiled and kissed her on the forehead "we will meet again Tanya…Kocho for now I guess." he laughed nervously "when we do, whether it will be one lifetime or many lifetimes down the road, I promise to make you smile." he stood up and started walking away from Tanya. 

Eventually, he was stopped by his mother, though only he saw her. "mother…I failed you." Ruka shook her head and wiped away the tears in her son's eyes. "No, You made me proud Kyojuro" soon Kyojuro was gone, for good now. leaving Tanya crying. Before time unfroze and Tanya's spirit was put back into her body Tanya said quietly "goodbye Kyojuro…"

Tanjiro, Kanao, and Inosuke were still crying when time unfroze. Zenitsu was still unconscious on the ground while Nezuko had no idea what was going on, the demon girl could hear her brother crying but the sun prevented her from leaving the box. Suddenly Kanao's head perked up as her hand by Tanya's chest felt something. She quickly moved her ears to Tanya's chest, gaining the attention of Tanjiro and Inosuke. 

"K-kanao what are you doing?" Tanjiro asked before his eyes widened, he could smell sadness, a new one. Kanao could hear a heartbeat, it was very faint but she could hear it from inside Tanya's chest. Tears still flowed down from her face, "T-...T…" her voice cracked before she shouted out "T-Tanya-Nee is alive!"