Chapter 54 The Talk
"I heard about what happened between Samuel and you yesterday. I'm here to apologize on behalf of my son. I'm honestly sorry things turned out this way" Kelly said and placed her hand on Vanessa's hand.
"I won't lie to you but i was kinda hurt when it happened. But now i think, I understand him. He was right when he..." Vanessa began
"No, Vanessa. He was not right. He said his observation. But I have seen how you suffered to make things the way they seem now. You're a strong woman, with a good heart. A kindhearted woman" Kelly paused, then said; "Vanessa, I see so much pain in your eyes, and it breaks my heart to see you in pain. Nessa dear, you know it's time to take action in order to let go the pain. Holding onto it without taking any action makes the pain so unbearable. I'm only here to guide you, not to make a choice for you. Revenge or forgiveness, choose one." though i prefer you choose the later, Kelly completed in her head.
Vanessa kept her eyes down, trying to fight her emotions.
"You don't have to fight your emotions, dear. Allow all the pent-up emotions to surface now. It's time to deal with them. The frustration, anger, pain, sorrow, hatred, every bit of them, allow them to surface now" Kelly said, patting Vanessa softly on her shoulder.
Vanessa stopped fighting her emotions and allowed her emotions to surface. She felt overwhelmed by them, before she realized she was tearing.
Kelly allowed her to tear without consoling her. In her opinion, Vanessa needed it. Vanessa needed to deal with her emotions.
"If only I hadn't attend the party that day. If only I hadn't drunk alcohol just to fit in. If only I were a little vigilant. If only...If only..." Vanessa said as she wept.
"You shouldn't blame yourself for anything that happened that night. It was bound to happen. Don't blame yourself dear. You weren't wrong, to want to fit in. It's just... Somethings are just bound to happen. Forgive yourself" Kelly said calmly.
"And he! I trusted him so much. And I trusted him because I ... I ... I loved him so much and I still do and it hurts to know he did ... he did..that to me" Vanessa stuttered as she kept tearing.
"I understand your pain" Kelly said and patted her back softly.
"Was his love for me, all a lie? Did I blindly believe him? Did i fall for him at the wrong time? Why did he do that to me? Why me? And why him? And it makes it so unbearable because no matter how much i try to hate him, i end up falling deeply for him. It hurts, Kel, it hurts"
"I know Nessa. I know it hurts" Kelly replied. She could feel the young woman's pain. "It hurts that's why you have to deal with it once and for all. Forgive yourself, Nessa. I know you blame yourself for what happened. But i doubt you were at fault. You were innocent and I doubt any part of your innocence has changed now. Forgive yourself, sweetheart. Please do" Kelly coaxed.
Vanessa wept like a baby for almost four hours before she finally said;
"I'll choose forgiveness over vengeance. Hatred and Vengeance are too much work"
"I'm so happy. I'm glad you're finally taking a step to let go the pain. And I'm glad you chose forgiveness. I'm so happy" Kelly said as she hugged Vanessa, tears of joy streaming down her face.
"I forgive myself, I forgive Raymond, I forgive everyone" Vanessa said as she sobbed.
"Thank you" Kelly replied softly almost in a whisper.
After Vanessa had stopped crying and regain her composure, Kelly said;
"I think it's time you talked to Raymond. Let him know you've forgiven him. Believe me, he needs it. More than you can ever think of"
Vanessa only nodded.
"Now would be okay, if you don't mind"