Miss you babe

A beautiful sunny day, a light breeze to cool off; the perfect day for a peaceful outing. Ruddy was sitting on the patio of a steakhouse enjoying a beer with an old friend, Rojo.

-It's been impossible to see you lately, man. You've become so clingy with Tiana. The proof is that she found a way to keep you at a distance for a while.

Ruddy glared at him. The man, not in the least intimidated by the threatening expression of his friend continued, a hint of malice in his voice.

-Baby Ruddy is crying because Mommy Tiana isn't here, boo-hoo.

As much as Ruddy adored his friend, he couldn't help but gasp in exasperation at his little jabs. He missed her enough as it was, no need for this sadist that was his friend to add a layer.

-Stop being childish. How old are you, really? I went out so I could get my mind off things, okay? If I'm going to talk about her again, I might as well have stayed home and stared at the horizon.

Tiana had left for two days of total relaxation, in the company of her mother and sister, in a small villa located by the sea, 20 km from the city. She had only been gone a few hours, but Ruddy could already feel the sharp fangs of missing her, her presence, her bewitching voice, her bright smile. That's why he had preferred to go out for a while instead of staying at home alone. But it seemed that his friend couldn't get his unspoken need to do so.

-Tell me about you instead. How is Soa?

-She's fine, she says hello to you by the way.

-That's great. Say hello to her for me too.

Ruddy then raised his glass to his lips, while his friend watched him, his eyes scrutinizing. Uncomfortable under this scrutiny, he fidgeted slightly in his seat, and then, not being able to stand it any longer, he exclaimed:

-What is it? A second head is being pushed to me?

Indifferent to Ruddy's growing irritation and impatience, Rojo quietly ate a beef skewer, chewing slowly. But he did not stop to observe his friend.

Ruddy rolled his eyes in annoyance.

-I'd like to share my concerns with you.

The sudden serious and almost...confidential tone put him on alert. He sat up straight in his seat, stiff as a board.

-I'm listening, please, don't keep the suspense so long. My old heart

can't stand it anymore.

-Say the one who wakes up action movie, eats action movie, drinks action movie...

-I get it. You point out the contradiction I make to myself, but that's not the point. You can continue now.

-But with your permission my dear.

Ruddy ran a weary hand over his face, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. A state that obviously greatly amused his friend.

-I can see you're at the end of your rope so I won't beat around the bush. Brief.There is something wrong with you, for some time. You're hiding something from us. I wish you'd tell me what it is.

Ruddy almost choked on his drink, surprised. Caught off guard. His friend obviously knew him well. But it was out of the question that he reveal anything, even if they were close. He was thinking of a way to drown the fish.

-There is absolutely nothing.

Then, pretending to laugh, he continued:

-You always had a vivid imagination.

-I am convinced of the contrary and you won't change my mind.

-These beef heart skewers are a real treat. Not to mention these fried cassava and plantains. A festival of sweetness and flavor for the taste buds.

-You are clearly dodging the discussion...

-It seems that this overwhelming heat has not dulled your impressive sense of deduction at all.

***

Tick-tock. Tick-tock. He was obsessed with the sound. He stared at the clock, following the hypnotic movement of the clock, impatiently waiting for it to indicate 6:00 pm. Time at which Tiana was supposed to be back on this Sunday evening. At the slightest noise coming from the outside, he expected it to be her on the threshold of the front door. Hope always disappointed, until now. He missed her terribly. More than 48 hours without seeing her seemed like an eternity. Yet, they had suffered a long period of distance, many decades before.

6 pm, finally. Faithful to herself, punctual as always, she entered and, throwing her things on the floor, threw herself in the arms of her man.

-I missed you so much, honey.

He just held her tighter. There was no need to talk, they understood each other.

Guiding her to the kitchen, he sat her down on one of the high chair and quickly placed a glass of sweet granadilla juice in front of her, her favorite drink. She thanked him with a smile.

He sat down on the seat opposite her and asked about her stay.

-How was your girls' weekend?

He mimed the quotation marks on the "girls' weekend", indicating his annoyance at having been so blatantly left out. Tiana pretended not to notice and continued calmly.

-It was great. We did a lot of different activities, and besides the different things we did, it was really good for all of us to be together, just the three of us. First, we...

As Tiana recounted her stay, Ruddy felt his desire to sulk melt away like snow in the sun. What a spellbinding charm it was for him to see the joy on his beloved's face. She was glowing with happiness and that was all that mattered. He didn't even really listen to the story anymore, his attention taken up by everything else: the playful movement of her lips when she spoke, the magnificent tan of her complexion, the rebellious curls of her hair...he found her so beautiful, so special, so extraordinary that sometimes he wondered what she could have found in him.

-Sweetie, are you listening to me?

Ruddy jumped, caught off guard, and tried to mumble a few unintelligible words to get out of trouble.

-You didn't listen to anything I said, did you?

When she started to put her hands on her hips, it was never a good sign.

-Of course my sweet, come on. Who do you think I am?

She raised an eyebrow, frankly doubtful.

-If you paid attention to me as you claim, then tell me the sentence I said last.

He was toast, no way to save the day this time. Instead of going down, he decided to surrender immediately. A fault half confessed, a fault half forgiven, right?

-All right, my sweet, I admit it. I wasn't listening to you...I was...

-Let me guess, you were remembering something?

-Yes, I did. And, I wondered what could have attracted you to me at the time. You did make a declaration to me worthy of the greatest romances.

She smiled with embrace at the memory.

-My declaration may have been beautiful, but you still rejected me.

-I know, I was young and stupid, remember?

She laughed.

-You may not be young anymore, but you're still dumb.

He couldn't hold back a laugh. He loved the way they teased each other.

-Do you remember that day? That day after you confessed your feelings to me. In a mad impulse, I picked up my phone and yelled at you. I was still in shock from the revelation. I had blamed you for being selfish, for thinking only of yourself, if I remember the exact words. I blamed you for ruining our friendship, for breaking the promise we made to each other. In retrospect, I think that I had been hurtful to you to save myself from my own guilt. I had felt guilty for the pain I had caused by rejecting you, by rejecting your feelings. I had seen your face ravaged by grief, disappointment, your beautiful eyes reddened by salty beads. Following my refusal, a resigned expression painted on your face, you had left my apartment without saying anything, and as soon as you had walked out the door, I had felt an immense feeling of loneliness invade me.

-I already felt bad enough and humiliated, and you had rekindled, unconsciously perhaps, a flame of hope in me. Hope that was soon extinguished. When I saw your call, I thought it was good news. That perhaps, the night had allowed you to reconsider your position, that perhaps, you had changed your mind. But I was quickly disillusioned.

-The days passed, and I felt sick. I had suffered from an illness that no doctor could cure. No remedy could alleviate it, because the only antidote was your presence, and alas the latter I could no longer claim. I had missed you terribly, excruciatingly, and the lack was all the more painful because this distance was caused by me. I was eating badly, sleeping badly, in short, everything was going wrong. I missed my friend, I missed my confidant.

-Did you still only see me as a friend?

-At the time, yes, I admit it. At least, that's how I felt. My sweet, this immense pain of lack, I experienced it again this weekend, during your absence. I thought I was going to go crazy.

Tiana had a tender smile.

-My love, I will never go on another trip without you, I promise. No matter how short it is.

Unless it is me who leaves for a long trip without you, he thought sadly.