"To be honest, I really love myself. Though a peculiar affection, it's my sole survival mechanism in an environment where I don't meet the necessary standards to have things such as a goal, an ambition, or a dream to fulfill.
The past thirteen months have been challenging, but they have taught me to appreciate both myself and the unique qualities defining me. Nonetheless, in this wretched society, that uniqueness is a heavy burden, one I sometimes wish I never had to shoulder.
I still remember my first day at school, several months ago. As my classmates discovered I was a non-chakra user, their attitudes shifted curtly with contempt replacing curiosity.
Teenage Dells, with their superiority complex, have a tendency to be unbearably haughty. They disregard our existences, treating us like intangible shadows that only live to fill up space in the background of their world.
Every non-chakra user is subject to this treatment but it's even worse for a crip such as myself. My damaged chakra panel makes me appear even more inferior in the eyes of these glorified douchebags.
I find it difficult to blame them, though. This accursed society breeds their disdain, fueling it with the adulation and special treatment it grants to those with power.
You see, I used to lay sad, wishing for the world to become a better place; but not anymore. I have accepted that things were always this way. It would also continue like this until someone steps up and does something about it.
Meritocracy is such a twisted system. The reality of the healthy competition is just everyone trying to prove that they're at least better off than someone else. Even among kids my age, there's a predefined hierarchy, creating a stark disparity between classmates.
The aristocrats are above everyone else. After them, it's the commoners with strong chakra talent. Commoners with less talent are looked down upon everywhere, yet they take pride in being better than non-chakra users at the bottom of the hierarchy. Such pathetic losers.
Anyway, it's trample or be trampled upon and everyone is aware of this. Everyone, including the foolish parents of these non-chakra users. Yet, the pursuit for top-quality education inevitably leads them through the doors of these miserable institutes where bullying and discrimination continues to thrive.
Nevertheless, I'm an anomaly. My damaged panel places me at the bottom of this hierarchy, and my missing years of knowledge and memories makes it impossible to share the same aspirations as my fellow bottom dwellers. Therefore, school would always be an agonizing reminder of what I lack and can never become.
It's lonely, but in solitude, I discover strength and resilience I never knew I possessed.
I find the drive to fight back with everything I have. And maybe, one day, I'll find a way to put an end to my existence, bringing this godforsaken world together with me."