Chaos in the backstage

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

05h10pm

In the offices of the CBS management, six men who sitting around a table, turn their gaze towards a man who has just entered the room.

This man is used to the wrath and criticism of his bosses, whose character is not always fair, but today he is smiling broadly as he thinks about the paper he holds in his hands.

The man placed at the end of the desk, joins his hands and then, his eyes marking his impatience, he leans forward slightly.

"So Dean, I hope we didn't spend all this money for nothing and for a change, I also hope that the news you bring us is good. I don't think I have too much to worry about because based on the silly grin on your face, I think I can say that indeed, our CBS is having one of its sunny days, isn't it?"

The man standing in front of these very important men doesn't mind the nasty words against him. He has long since become accustomed to their sarcasm, and in truth, he doesn't even hear them anymore.

"Yes sir, the sky is clear, sir. It's a sunny day..."

The man in the center raises his hand to stop this kid to the agile mouth.

"Relieve me of a doubt, Dean. Do you work for the weather department?"

"No, sir. However, according to Yahoo's forecast, it's going to be an unusually nice day and..."

The man in the center hits on the desk.

"Dean, if I wanted to talk about weather, you would not be the one currently with us. Besides, if Yahoo said today was a great day to go fishing, would you give up your work obligations and go buy a fishing pole? Pfiouu; Dean, continue your report without talking about the weather outside or the nonsense that abounds on Yahoo, please."

Dean, still in a very good mood, nods and picks up his paper.

"Certainly sir, I am in no way qualified to talk about the weather and I apologize for my outburst regarding a search engine that has not proven to be totally reliable. Yet..."

"Dean..."

"Yes sir! Today at exactly 5:02pm, 95% reliable estimates prove that our market shares have already multiplied by 5. It goes without saying that at 06h00pm, we will crush all our competitors sir."

The man in the middle cuts Dean off once again and looks him straight in the eye.

"Dean are you part of a polling company?"

Dean, a little embarrassed, scratches his nose and slowly shakes his head.

"No sir, I certainly don't have the capacity and I apologize for that inappropriate remark."

"That's what I thought, so please don't extrapolate by encroaching on a sector that not part of that are out of your area of expertise. Thank you for staying the course and do not bring up anything that is beyond your purview. Gentlemen, we thought we had found a gold mine but we were wrong. This little girl is a real diamond mine and she is ours and only ours. Dean, how is the child? Isn't she too stressed out before she goes on the talk show?"

Dean sighs but like a good professional, his smile returns immediately.

"No sir, actually, it's the opposite. She's so relaxed that our crews are exhausted by her songs and nonsense. This little girl is certainly very smart, but she puts that intelligence to work with her mischief."

The man in the center bursts out laughing.

"That's perfect. If she's doing mischief, it's because she's relaxed. Let her have fun, she's only 6 after all. What 6-year-old isn't a little restless?"

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If there is joy on the executive floors, it is a different story behind the scenes of, The Late Show.

Here, a hurricane named Lara causes panic wherever she goes, and the first to pay the price was the show's producer, who personally went to the entrance to greet her.

He led this beautiful and polite little girl to her dressing room and came out with a delighted smile.

The producer thought it was a little strange that everywhere he went people were laughing, but considering the unusual cute little guest of this special, he himself was in a very good mood so he didn't really care.

Later, when his assistant came back and took a post-it note from his back with the words (Dumb Moustache) on it, he finally understood what all the laughter was about.

Childish handwriting and a post-it in the shape of a teddy bear?

After a dark look towards his assistants who were laughing discreetly behind his back, he didn't need to think for a long time to know where the little word full of tenderness came from.

Afterwards, he learned that in front of their cute little guest, the make-up artist had slammed the door in anger.

The poor woman who was putting makeup on the little Lara, had almost finished, but was forced to answer the phone.

According to her words, she only left for two, three minutes at most, but when she returned, a little clown of all colors was dancing in the room.

If it was just a temporary makeup artist, but..., the little devil has nicknames for everyone.

His assistant has been sulking ever since she was given the friendly nickname of Miss big thighs.

The set designer is now called Mr. Stinky Mouth, which by the way, makes the technicians on the set laugh, who were quick to repeat to everyone this silly nickname.

This little storm is uncontrollable, unstoppable, terrible and despite its small size, while laughing, with its plush accomplice with a suspicious name, showing up here and there, it manages to cause chaos everywhere it is seen.

06h00pm

After the credits roll and the applause of an audience drawn to participate in this (event), as the TV station itself has modestly called it, the very smiling host David Letterman makes his way to the center of the set.

"When I was offered to host a special, in which I would have to host a 6-year-old girl, my first reaction was to wonder if the executives at my own network had been working a little too hard lately or if their imagination was lacking.

Nevertheless, like everyone else, I watch television. Not my shows, I'm not that self-centered yet. Haha, yes, thanks, thanks...

I saw this funny little girl in the commercial whose name I will withhold out of respect for our sponsors and I thought; what if I tried to meet her before I turned her down.

So I went to this little girl's house. No need to ask me her name. What? No, no, a little more patience. What a demanding audience. So I went to her house. Yes, I went to her house and discovered a very intelligent and active child. She moves around all the time but sees and hears everything. I thought she wasn't listening to me, so I tested her. She didn't hesitate to call me out on it by saying, and I quote:

"It's not because you are older that you have the right to tell me nonsense. Stop taking me for Madam idiot, Mister pretentious, or I go back to play with the garden gnomes of the communist."

After this truly amusing encounter with this little girl, I said yes without thinking. Now without further ado, we welcome the little tornado that has put our backstage area in an unprecedented state.

Lara Eve. Lara, Eve, no need to be stressed. Come sit here sweetie."

"Pupupu, hello Mister pretentious, hello everyone in the TVs. No, you're talking nonsense again. Lara is not stressed at all...