Chapter 10: THE MORNING AFTER

Cornflakes and scrambled eggs waited for me when I walked into the kitchen. "There you are, Valerie. I was just about to call for you. Eat up. We've got to make tracks and pick up the stuff on the list Mom left for us to get at the store," Adam said.

"Where is Martin? Isn't he coming today?"

Adam smirked knowingly. "I heard them come home at six this morning. He's probably still asleep. I think he and Flynn made a night of it somewhere."

I sat at the table knowing where "somewhere" was, images of last night in my mind as I poured cornflakes into a bowl. I ate in silence before going to shower and dress, while Adam readied his car. Us kids always sourced all the fruit and vegetables for Thanksgiving.

Adam chatted excitedly about football, his upcoming graduation, and I sat silent.

"What's wrong, Valerie? Are you worried about going back to school?"

"No, I'm over all that. I just want to focus on getting good grades." Adam seemed satisfied at that spoke again about football.

When we returned home after our errand, Martin and Flynn were already up, playing a video game in the living room.

Flynn turned, flashed me a broad smile, and my heart flipped over in my chest. I gave him a tight smile back, I swiped my tablet from the table and went to my room.

Opening the Kindle app, I scrolled through the books I'd downloaded and chose a romantic-comedy to read. I needed something to distract me. Half an hour later, Martin knocked on my door. "Hey gorgeous, there you are. Did I do something wrong?"

We'd hardly spoken since he'd been home.

"I was just giving you time with your friend," I replied, hoping to be believed.

"Well, you don't have to do that. I see him every day at St. Cloud. You're my friend too, Val. Are you avoiding me because I brought him home?"

"You're the one who went out last night. I'm just giving you ... space."

Martin took my tablet from my hand to get my attention. He plopped down on the mattress beside me. "Bullshit, Beatnik. What's going on? What did I do?"

Tears threatened and I tried to move away from him, but he caught my wrist and stopped me.

"Val? Don't turn away from me. I've known you all your life, and I know when you're not being honest. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

My pent-up emotion spilled from my body and I cried. Martin tugged me tightly to his chest and rubbed my back.

"What is it? You can tell me, Val. We don't do secrets. Come on, maybe I can help."

"You can't make me eighteen." I sobbed. When I heard what I'd said, it had sounded like such a stupid thing to say.

"Eighteen? Why the fuck do you need to be eighteen?" His serious eyes searched mine. "Is it because of Flynn? What he said the other day when I thought he was hitting on you?"

I considered telling him the truth, but I knew Martin well enough to know that if I answered yes to his question, I'd never have seen Flynn again, and I didn't want that.

"No. Why would you say that?" I snapped.

"Maybe it's that protective thing where I want to punch every guy who looks at you, Val. We spoke about you before we came here. I warned him he'd like you and told him you were only fifteen. He's a great guy, but he's one for the ladies.

"Didn't Kayden say you're all like that, Marty?"

Martin smiled and looked sheepish. "He did. And we are - which is why I'm hoping I didn't make a mistake by bringing him here."

"You didn't, okay? It's me. Last night and the night before, you all made a big deal of me being my age. I can't change that about me. It's never been a problem before, but suddenly it is. I've gone from being Valerie - the girl with three amazing brothers who were my friends - to the kid sister who needs three growly bears to warn all the boys away, like they're all after my cherry."

A growl tore from Martin's throat. "Don't talk like that. You're not that kind of girl, Val. I love that you're strong willed, and have a mind that isn't shaped by all those giggling girls you know at school. We've always treated you the same, regardless of your age. I think it's just this age. It's hard for us. The dynamic is changing and we're mindful that you are at a sensitive age right now."

His reply didn't improve how I felt. It just confirmed that I was too young as far as Flynn was concerned.

"I'm sorry, Martin. I don't want to spoil your visit home. I've never really felt this way around you all before. I used to enjoy being the little sister, but I guess I'm outgrowing it."

"Respect is important, Val. No matter how young or old someone is. We've all got to support each other. Look at Flynn. Poor guy doesn't have anyone in the world to care about him. You think it matters to him how old a girl is? That worries me. I respect you, and I'm sorry if you felt I put you down by the way I acted yesterday. You know right from wrong and I trust your judgment. It's everyone else's that I have issues with."

"Flynn?"

"Especially Flynn. He's a great guy - one of the best I've ever met. But I've seen him with girls. He's a chick magnet. I love the guy, but not for my baby sister."

"Flynn would never look at me like that, Martin. I'm just a kid, and he's a man."

Martin was silent as he stared intensely at my face and then his eyes flitted over it. He smiled a half smile and brushed a strand of hair from my face. "This may be an inappropriate thing for a brother to say, but I'm going to, just this once. You have no idea how beautiful you are, Valerie. I don't think age would ever be a barrier for most men with you. Why do you think Kayden and I want to protect you so much? We've had buddies who are no longer part of our lives because they said what they'd like to do to you. And Flynn ... there's less than a five-year difference, I think. That's too close in age for me."

Heat stained my cheeks, and Martin looked a little awkward as he stood up from the bed.

"Anyone disrespects you, Kayden and I... and Adam for that matter, we've got your back. We're always going to want more for you than the average guy."

Once Martin had said his piece, I wanted to say mine. If we were clearing the air, then I wanted to be frank with him.

"How come guys can do what they want when they want, but it's different for a girl? You know I'm turning sixteen Christmas week? Do you all breathe a sigh of relief then? You said I have a mind of my own, but you behave as if you think my judgment isn't good enough to pick my boyfriend?"

"You picked Bradley, Val."

Throwing Bradley in my face was the last thing I'd expected. It hurt.

"Right,this conversation is over." I rolled away from him and climbed out of the bed. Feeling humiliated I ran to my bathroom and locked myself in.

"Shit! I'm sorry." He pleaded as he rattled the door knob. I sat on the toilet seat and ignored him at first. "Come on, Val. Open the goddamn door."

"Or what, you'll kick it in? Go away, Martin. If your talk was meant to make me feel better, it hasn't work."

I turned on the water faucet so I couldn't hear what he said after that. Eventually, he went quiet. I stripped down and got into the tub. Wetting a washcloth, I covered my face and lay back with the rim of the bathtub under my neck. Life sucks.

Almost an hour later, I got out and dried myself. The water was freezing, and the skin on my fingers resembled prunes. I didn't want face Martin, and that was a first. The gap between us had widened, and I hadn't seen it coming. That thought made me cry all over again.

Mom knocked on the door as I was pulling up my yoga pants. I'd already put my t-shirt on. She she opened the door and entered my room. Her expression was sad when she saw mine, and she hugged me.

"This isn't like you at all, Val. What's going on with my baby?"

The word 'baby' made me feel even worse, and I shook my head, unable to speak. Another swell of emotion washed over me and for the first time in my life, I wished I were anywhere else but home.

"Do you think being at Auntie Joan's for so long has brought your mood down, honey?"

I hadn't thought of that and wondered if it was a possibility. Was it a delayed response to keeping it all together for the time I'd been up in Michigan? "Could be," I squeaked, happy to accept any reason for my misery, other than my feelings for Flynn.

Mom coaxed me down for dinner, and Martin stood and leaned in to hug me.

He kissed my cheek, "Sorry, sweetheart."

I nodded, wanting to forget our earlier conversation. Flynn's glance held concern, but quickly asked my mom when her sister was arriving.

When we sat to eat, I listened to Flynn tell my dad that his tutors at college didn't think he'd make it as a mentor. One commented that there was too much rock and roll in Flynn for him to succeed as a classical guitar mentor.

Martin chuckled heartily and told us Flynn had confidence until he was asked to perform.

"I'm so lucky. Every night, I get to hear this frantic, full-on flamenco guitar playing, which eventually morphs into Led Zeppelin or Metallica after half an hour. He's ridiculously awesome. Problem is, he's so shy when it comes to his music, but I think he's got talent that rivals the best of the best."

Flynn looked suitably mortified that Martin had bragged about his playing abilities. "He's lying, of course. I'm okay. Just not good enough to earn a living at it is all."

I noted Flynn's hands. His fingers gently touched his silverware nervously, then he wrapped them around one of the bulb-shaped glasses my mom used for water. Watching him lift it to his lips, I suddenly became thirsty, and my tongue darted out to wet mine. As I did, he looked over at me and smiled around his glass. Crap.