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Rambling and Random bullshittery

This be your most daring story; A rambling if you must, Of language most foul, of unexplored ways to curse. Of bullshit in every turn, in every twist, in every twists of tongues. As told by thine ol'hands and masterminded by the crude tongue, with all my tics and antics. Do-told tale of a vegetable who limbs and stumbled on a new realm of where creation was pierced in it's boundaries. Of a connoisseur who learns of ways of an unshackled breathing body, the occasional doggie styles and the utmost high of all forms of unequaled shag-getry, wooing tarts and thots and hoes, all manners of terms modern and old to name all wenches of all- the ripened titties; "Thine taste ranges from nymphs of florescent pure to flooded lips which hangs and are forgivably bonk-able with a passing thought riled up by the hard down under, Which in short means all!" Heinously wholesome in ways of the vile tongue which grew most crude, terribly heinous with every breaths more lived- after to after and then more, much much more. A rambling- to what he sees, to what he does. This is a story of a living, in a world of pixels; of new universe where a man could swim in lava, a world where such and such is deemed mundane. An epic where a naked fledgling dove in the heat of an avian war, baby-steps towards a destiny-, etched in the root webs of two worlds with only a goal; To be the Pirate Ki- nevermind! To live most free. Rejuvenation; maketh man a new being, now what would be his tale when all he knew of living was blinking a set of dead little eyes, what would such a virgin of a human ways do in a surreal world that explodes magics and bullshits. I'll tell ye all! Just listen to the ramble. (Stay with me, I won't ever drop this.) [Warning:] 1. Not for the faint of heart. 1½. Smut will be there but it will be extremely rare. 2. The english dictionary would require a thorough update after I'm done with this epic. 3. Fuckery most heinous most foul. (By decree of a certain fool) 4. Don't tell your mums you learnt (curses) from me. 5. No other warning just enjoy, If ye dares. Cover art not mine, thank you for letting me use it and sorry but pray tell if you ordered it removed. Will use it until I could afford a more authentic cover art or until boss wants it removed.

JF_Fanai · 奇幻
分數不夠
32 Chs

That Angel Fuck

Looking back, it was a simple shit show right after the start of the game, just a shit luck, a rough beginning.

Like giving a wildebeest a bath in a fuckening croc infested water, I heed not of who I dared in saying thus or why need I say this but I was not meant to breathe through all this shittery, so unlikely sentence to capture my feelings to this unlikely faith- the start of my firsts fucking minutes of this mellow-mellow yellow dick jerking game.

Thine am 49% Asian so eat it-.

And there we were, fuckery in my line of sight;

It was immediately clear to us that someone sent that Demon there flying from somewhere past many lands away.

But in that moment I and particularly the baldy were left with no capability to think straight, our dumb eyes simply blinked to the crater.

And Baldy? Well I guessed a single piece of hair he once had on his egg-head was naturally might be gifted with foresight and in its freight of the future which was this, it prematurely took off, taking all of the little hair children, with full custody and no visits, leaving him a barren broken man, head, body and soul.

Divorces are rough.

I could only see his legs being blown by a chilly freezing breeze, shaking weak, noodle legs in the radiant sunlight of mid-summer.

While I was not far off.

I felt as if I had gazed in the eyes of Medusa, I was a paralyzed soul with a meaty cask.

In spite of all these random bullshitery I was rained upon, the situation did get more done in by more pandemonium when this long silky hair suddenly as my stunned eyes saw-, descended from the sky like some fucking fairy-tale angel with a decent meh on his face, radiant he was, with all of his snow-touched cheeks; put a top a pedestal by his sharp lined jaws.

Overkill the dude was with all his golden specks of mana, swarming radiant and glow so so they did under his spherical aura which cocooned the dude, it was just an aura- normally like a bubble when summoned as do all, could be done by all but his was utterly just more majestic.

I was caught up, enthralled in awe for I felt a shorter being in his presence, twitching with frustration for I was unsure of what was to come.

'Ah! What now?? Game gimme a break!' I whispered a thought as I grasped my little heart who was working overtime in beating rapid drums.

But,

That fucker was too tall, I think and thunk, thoughting back:

I was handsome, this dude was pretty.

I was tall this person was… also tall.

He had that silver angelic hair I have a burnt broccoli for hair.

The Demon who fell, who was now lesser a Demon than others in terms of percentage of body mass, well the fucked up thing was missing an arm.

Yet it stared, never daunting and never blinking. Always angry and as I deduced are always awoke in the wrong side of the bed, too mean they never disallow a prey to gaze into their rough black eyes that looks like molten charred rocks with many a gnarly burning red glow seeping through the cracks.

Slanted glare as the Demon growled, two charred eyes under massive scaly brows stared at the descending piece of all-good little shit.

The moment albeit chaotic, I was now somehow at peace thawing a sigh of relief.

My smart ass knew that model of a flawless design of the flowery beauty department, I knew of him: The mightiest NPC in the game, on the side of humanity and that sparkling thing of heaven's made doll was Ichmonde Lazarius: Deity King of All-Land.

His design of captivating looks, maybe he was full-on made with the idea of beauty in mind, he came with not a scratch, not a smudge or any sweat whilst this Demon laid already beaten, down and more down the ground with lesser an arm.

Side of humanity as they said, I felt safe on that fact.

Mere feet; right above the pitiful demon Lazarius boldly continues his radiant glow of golden descent, watching on I could then suddenly and uncomfortably feel his sparkling gaze at me.

It was condemning, it was heavy.

Like a judge's hammer bound to bash me a cold sentence.

Tingling my spine I was stood upright, I immediately lost the nerve to meet him in the eye, turning a quick and smart look-away my throat nearly let out a shriek-; a verb who was put in prison in the depths of the belly of thy throat.

'I-I don't swing m-my sword that way!' a joke denying his advances-, told in the mind which I nervously threw at myself as I still felt his stabbing-pushing gaze at me, I never knew it could bore me such a weight.

My heart gasps succumbing in the pressure he holds on me, my skin felt heavy.

'Was it something I thought? I-I am not safe aren't I?' I whispered but with not a word, I was not allowed to-, as the air around proposes.

Still caught in his sight, I and need not why but my dumb-ass then find it right to whistle in a reflex.

Puckered these lips and blew, that what me did.

Bobbing the head sideways, fingers tapping the thighs in a beat.

Well this was in my to-do lists anyways so win-win?!

The heels were bouncing as I whistled, turning my eyes I peeped for the witch but the bitch was gone.

In the midst of the whistling tune which I magically mastered for first I've ever tried-, curiosity struck in my continuing nervousness due being the bitch-witch had gone ghost on me-, 'That Angel fuck.. is he still there?'

I took a risky- panicking moment for a glance at Lazarius the angel fuck, who's angel dick had still befallen me his over-encumbering gaze.

But then in a snap maybe he was on guard but it was clear he clearly outmatched the Demon but to my blood-pressure's relief he released me from his hold, I really didn't knew why.

I didn't knew why he had froze my cock for in the first place with just a glance at that.

The ground seemed as if they rejoiced to the touch of the divine feet of the King, bearing his weight they stay a bland dead ground in ecstasy.

Right there, before the crater that he labored the Demon to make-, he stood.

Lips unmoving, not much or ever an expression he stared down at the Demon, felling him those silver eyes that sealed the Demon's fate.

"Perish! Filth!" a commanding voice, he announced an execution.

"On with it! I am one of many…. but hear this tho-!" he spat, in a perfect language and opportune moment for a spit- fearless gruff from the Demon, coughing black ooze in a horrid take for blood yet his horrible smile never faded.

"Yeour-agh!" struggling as he tried to stand his broken ground, "Reckoning-- is coming… Hehh!" gasping for air, "Son of whore!" it curses with a roar.

I then saw, mana reeking of murder within the Demon's aura.

Only much later I could comprehend but back then it happened in an instant, too fast for my newbie eyes of blue.

I saw the Demon's arm reeling far back cloaked with his aura with black dust like specks of mana, loading for a blow and that was all I barely managed to see then it all happened there in a blur and heavy winds pushes from the two, pushing shut my eyes.

Next thing I saw was this charred-black molten heap of rocks from what I dared assumed was the demon's arm-, A monstrosity of an arm, larger than a giant's arm and a half-, likely throwing a volcanic proportion hook-, to any on its wake lying in wait was crushing-burning death-:

But,

Be may a volcanic mountain for an arm, which was happening to burst out its molten liquid of minor hell, be may its monstrous size, let all lava and molten burning rocks fit in that fist; Still and yet, it still holds no power in face against Lazarius who met and halted the Demon's large rocky fist with simply a gentle touch of his palm.

I took the liberty of checking their mana intensity or simply as we the Stars-descent dubbed as power level.

My jaws drops in sight of the blue HUD that shows us names, health-bar with red and at the side in a circle were the power level and oh boy the margin was incomparable-, the difference in strength and class between the two.

The Nameless Demon choose an early demise with a power level of a Legend ranked.

Lazarius was in a level where the term end-game hath hailed.

All his armors and equipments were best-in-slot.

He was almighty, a Deity King.

I blinked maybe twice if not a couple more in the show I've come to bore witness but that was immediately when I nearly logged-out in a sudden yelp when the Demon was shot up high in the sky and down to where yours truly was standing a statue.

I would be out and safe had not for the message which denied me exit.

<You cannot log out>

It bloody fucking said.

The Deity King had summoned a spike made of soil and rocks and many more substances laid buried in the ground from below and with such an instant force that it crushes through half the face of the Demon, the impact then still forces the Demon to fly high in the sky.

I would sigh in relief, at least one of the threats and particularly the one who seemed to be the unlikeliest of the three to let thy tongue work my way out of had been vanquished but the Demon was as it would seem no-more a threat but it didn't have to come crushing down a set course at me.

On route and straight was a coming-, a collision that would sent me dead and made into specks of many blue pixels.

"No-no no no no!" I begged-, only louder with every No's, deliberately I shook my head, all details of the face-, they too screamed- a many No's.

"Go that way! That WAY!" both fingers, Nay! Arms, both arms in full elbow motion points to the side as I screamed to let set another course at the Demon.

However;

That motherfucker find it right to armor himself all round its broken face and body like he did to his arm, he was now a half-faced, one-armed comet.

AHH!

'How many parts do you need blown off before you die??? Fuck it!"

In moments like these, clutches can come into play and the heart maketh its wants heard and showed me a way for it.

"Fuck fuck fuck…fuck all hecks!'' I believed twas my heart who claims and demanded an action, I heard its pleads to make the body move as it beats faster then faster and faster and more.

The mind then begrudginly recalled- of what power I was bestowed, that damned fucking Wisp!

Still it matters not, crushing death was on me with sweats dropping from brows, 'Ha-Ha! Fuck all hecks, this can't be too bad.'

Gritting the teeth and sensing impending doom, "Here goes nothing…" I clenched both fists.

"Do your thang! You random shit!"

Like nigh invisible bubble, my aura bursted from within the solar plexus in a perfect spherical shape which was the basic shape of auras.

Hue of rainbow-ed colors of all kinds, my glorious mana then came from the heart or as I felt, it spread all around my aura.

This shitty power of mine, in the moment I begged it to give me a barrier.

Then immediately right as I did I sensed something, there was this strange tickling nuisance clearly in the right butt, I felt supported and helped and lucky as I felt the touch on my right butt.

But not a time was wasted on figuring out that ticklish itch since there then came a sudden slew of blurry somethings.

Tens.

Thirties.

Nay!

Fuck tons?

No!

Way fucking more!

The eyes were dizzy counting, left-right, right-left they followed; and alas I saw them;

It were small, size of garden snakes they all were- Silent small silver metro speed-bullets, high speed trains too fast and many to count suddenly rained from all fucking directions under my aura in perfect impossible tandem, no crashes and none of them made me into a grilled-cheese sandwich-, Impossible!

And yet I saw-, they all seemed to miss yours truly.

Utterly Impossible!

A flinching perfect algorithm, unbound by laws.

All missed all from all directions and leaving no gaps for seemingly anything that comes from outside my measly aura.

A mental take on how barrier works, for it was clear that this random bullshiter-y was my power, it was crystal clear because this train-rain who leaves no gaps allowed me a sight on the demon that was inches away from crashing into my train-barrier.

It makes not one sense but that defines what that fucking wisp calls power.

"Yeah! It'sssss gonna work.. right?!?"

I have no thoughts.

No author thoughts.

But writing this down means I have a thought, or didn't had a thought so I wrote this on author's thought?

Fuck it!

Just- Thank you for reading I guess.

I'm just playing, stay tuned for more, this will be a cock jerkingly awesome tale.

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