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Rambling and Random bullshittery

This be your most daring story; A rambling if you must, Of language most foul, of unexplored ways to curse. Of bullshit in every turn, in every twist, in every twists of tongues. As told by thine ol'hands and masterminded by the crude tongue, with all my tics and antics. Do-told tale of a vegetable who limbs and stumbled on a new realm of where creation was pierced in it's boundaries. Of a connoisseur who learns of ways of an unshackled breathing body, the occasional doggie styles and the utmost high of all forms of unequaled shag-getry, wooing tarts and thots and hoes, all manners of terms modern and old to name all wenches of all- the ripened titties; "Thine taste ranges from nymphs of florescent pure to flooded lips which hangs and are forgivably bonk-able with a passing thought riled up by the hard down under, Which in short means all!" Heinously wholesome in ways of the vile tongue which grew most crude, terribly heinous with every breaths more lived- after to after and then more, much much more. A rambling- to what he sees, to what he does. This is a story of a living, in a world of pixels; of new universe where a man could swim in lava, a world where such and such is deemed mundane. An epic where a naked fledgling dove in the heat of an avian war, baby-steps towards a destiny-, etched in the root webs of two worlds with only a goal; To be the Pirate Ki- nevermind! To live most free. Rejuvenation; maketh man a new being, now what would be his tale when all he knew of living was blinking a set of dead little eyes, what would such a virgin of a human ways do in a surreal world that explodes magics and bullshits. I'll tell ye all! Just listen to the ramble. (Stay with me, I won't ever drop this.) [Warning:] 1. Not for the faint of heart. 1½. Smut will be there but it will be extremely rare. 2. The english dictionary would require a thorough update after I'm done with this epic. 3. Fuckery most heinous most foul. (By decree of a certain fool) 4. Don't tell your mums you learnt (curses) from me. 5. No other warning just enjoy, If ye dares. Cover art not mine, thank you for letting me use it and sorry but pray tell if you ordered it removed. Will use it until I could afford a more authentic cover art or until boss wants it removed.

JF_Fanai · 奇幻
分數不夠
32 Chs

Star-Fall

Star-Falls.

It was a name of many, a place as any that highlights the reality aspect of Ascension, One of the Fall lies close to where you'd find one of three starter towns : Reindale.

A light stroll down a quaint little fenced road running along the stream of Reindale, past Mockley's grove of all fruits you will come across a sunken place on the right by the side of a Spring-blossoming tree.

A small pathway down just before you'd find the curving edge of the road which led down to the Sunder-Blossom Forest.

The place was green and serene like any other.

However it was quite special as in its name, It tells any of why a small circle of dirt exist in the middle of the Fall, like a bane of all man- a bald spot, barren and deserted, I now thank thee for the hair.

Back to tale;

Four runic pillars surrounds it and in the centre- was the weary naked dirt where grasses wont grow. As in its name suggests, it was the only place where us, Stars-Descent could first come and walk our feet into this world and off.

A neat little detail which adds up to the lore of the game .

And as I descended from the curiously weird box, joyously away from that annoying little wisp, "I'm so gonna file a complaint!!" said I, and not two but possibly three seconds later I could comprehend the white smoke of whatever that engulfed me in a cocoon in my journey down-, subsiding, just as it did, I felt the rugged barren ground of the Fall under the rubbery soles of my shoes and as the smoke fades my little eyes of blue took an offence in these four tall pillars which dwarfed yours truly.

They seemed as though they would occasionally pierced the puffy clouds high above.

And it immediately to me seemed as though these four stones were mocking me, "Heh!" I shrugged and spat; didn't knew I had already picked up a habit, a moist one at that but who cares enough to gloom over it, specially when these oh so tall pillars who mocked at yours truly, in his presence and hence they were instantly to I but mere mundane ordinary rocks with earlier men carvings and holds no special or meaningful value but a restless man-of-the-past's simple hobby. Yes! I was with conviction unimpressed with the lot.

"Thoo-ui!" this one had a gunk.

With pride I will not dwell back on my later introductory phase with the wisp.

With pride I will emphasized that I CHOSE to remain a tall five foot four.

With pride I said chose, and I did choose to remain this tall.

I didn't knew that little shit could talk me into getting this rather beautiful afro instead of height.

Not meant to be called short since I am a mathematically and universally calculated and approved-, tall five foot four.

I didn't let it trick me if that's what you're concerned.

Back to the tale, with a beautiful burnt broccoli of black in lieu of green as an unflinching afro hairdo-. My first gut feeling and confession of love to the ground which received and welcometh my awesomeness was as I tearfully smiled and said an infamous line, "Even if I log out occasionally… I'll be BACK!"

I do feel like the terminator as I relieved my good heart of a desire of a fantasy.

I removed my shoes, a bland ol'old shoe which patients normally wore, the ones with no laces but I took off not the clothes, be it plain and bland and sickly blue I need not go full throttle on my Terminator, I enacted my best Time Traveling Robot pose; bent was my knee and staring down at the ground, turning the neck up slowly- taking sweet time.

Words needs not a place, act alone were complete, a performance for that anyone or noone who kept on watching thine, that eerie feeling of eyes from some-fucking-where- The Prick!

You see this eye keeping tabs on me at all times, in all that I'd do twas urged always by the heart so then I'd always do; meticulous performances which it claimed was in the need and necessary.

I need not know when, knew when; when, where and why and how it kept me on watch, maybe a feeling I adopted or maybe there was, maybe all maybes, it nay bothered stead kept me cool always.

Empty yet complex I stared with an absent glance for any in my wake, staring at the stairs of bricks and dirt which led down to this place.

The little bugs and birds about breathed to me and I came more to appreciate more;

All the little things that I had dreamt, all that my lifeless eyes yearned for the body to do.

"I'm doing them!" I then smiled to myself, "AND WHO'S THERE THAT CAN STOP ME?!" I yelled as I stood from the terminator pose.

I was little but I was awesome.

I was also tall.

'This is life, I am awoke,'

But then choking the make of a poet true and true,

"STFU NOOB!"

A wild insult suddenly jumped the MC from down and yonder the road which led down to the forest.

An adversary who ventured first before me, judging from where the voice sprang.

"GET A MOVE ON YE DICKHEAD. HAHAHAHA!"

It was another voice, it uses a longer barrage of sonic ear numbing assault.

"Hurry Mister MC before a Fury Baboon destroys the world! BWAHAHA!"

On came uncalled for assaults.

I! My timid self would succumb to a more silent maneuver, if be this not a game.

However I! In me for the first tasted strength on the body.

It can now stand on its own suave with the command of my mind, a mind which grew braver now as it finally could pilot my meaty suit of skin and bone armor.

My magnificent and light afro shined too, +10 in confidence stat it did gave me… I am not one to lie for I chose this awesome hair also I did not simply say this just because I was now stuck with this hair-do forever.

From the tits of rejuvenation did I suckle, from balls of freedom did I cum- forth and strangely then; there and then, it comes a thought,

Cower now when I'm this free?

Oh No! I were jailed, I'll hump a beetle or go eunuch and trade my manhood for freedom and Fuck! Mind you! No fucking one is taking it from me.

I am of peace but even Gandhi once brought a flamethrower in his movement once, my history might be tad a bit crooked, but twas never in me to be the initiator or even the aggressor.

But now, thine am free, this working body be mine scarf of spine shaking bravery, I was more confident now than ever I was, born again and fearless now.

So there I were;

Puffing this chest, I flush air out from puffed cheeks and I roared;

Telling them, with a pouty chest out front, "YOU GET A FUCKING MOVE ON!!"

It felt good, I thought.

Exhilarating I felt as my heart pounds.

Just words I shouted out yet it felt powerful, like a magical roar of destruction from a fabled Lion.

The air around Star-Fall then came to a silent pause after I blew my lungs out dry.

I never expected them to be silent this long, I expected the pause but it was now too long.

Was I menacing?

I never knew my voice could silent someone.

I crackled some curvy lines on the lips for a smile.

'I did rather good!' complementing myself, slightly in disbelief but it happened.

"Awww! Look at that!"

From up the road then came trouble.

Right after, I saw a head chuckling behind the short fences that pitifully barred people from falling down the grassy steep and down below to the mischievous forest.

"Awwww! What a bwave widdle Hewo!"

Not long after I did clearly saw, there at the edge of the road which led down here-, was a group of three dudes, with cheeky smirks on their fuck faces, standing a crowd and sneering at my foreseen demise.

From down the gate of Sunder-Blossom they came, seeking vengeance for a wound in their pride.

The difference I sensed in them was enough to dishearten this young master to be truthfully honest, multiply that by three and you'll regret what you just said.

But it's not like I regretted talking back to them and not like I was scared to now be truthfully dishonest.

"A fucking Fledgling without manners?"

Caution Guys, these are your generic bullies.

And there is always the sidekick with a hair trigger on his anger, they are always the extras, so extra that some artists refused to give some of them hair or any detail whatsoever and as much as it pains the hand to mention a name of such a pitiful existence, No! On second thought their names holds no value in my plot.

I was a tad nervous but I didn't let it stop me from mouthing my desire of freedom and the One Piec- Nevermind.

"I-i didn't mean a-any ill intent guys, I was just enjoying this world." I said, with a hint of a stutter, "I-I was minding my own so should you.."

And with guys like these, the boss of the group will likely be the one who talks first in an exchange, and boy do they like talking down to someone they know they could easily beat.

"You hear that boys?" said a lanky scrooge in the middle.

And Wallah! Here is the boss of the group.

"Mc-San must've been SHOCKED badly, and is talking about manners?!" he chimed in, did he poke some fun at my hair?.

"He already lost it when he dared talk to us with that hairstyle!" said the other, I couldn't remember his face but I could have sworn he had a buck-tooth.

"Why don't I show you some manners punk!" then as predicted came and spouted he did, a baldy to the left of the boss, the one with the hair trigger on his anger and ironically in this case he has no hair, just a barren, void, empty, desert on top.

I can sense this extra is also jealous of my beautiful afro.

Down there in the patch of dirt I stood my feeble ground, with little sports of sweats, nervous I was a tad.

Fearful I would be attacked.

Without a pair of shoes to add.

Armed with an afro in the head.

I knew not too well of the penalty of death, murder is part of the TABOO in this world yet torture and bullying were not. I did my fair share of research before I came here and hence I was versed.

I knew they have no merit in killing a newbie but killing is not always a punishment, there's much more to lose than dying and I beckon these three mongrels knew a part of it.

And for the first I frowned upon the game for its reality, these three troglodyte bullies could very well play volleyball with my hair.

Not moments after I saw them taking their sweet time for a slow walk towards my doom-, I chugged in a big gulp of air bulging down my throat for I knew I was helpless and again with no shoes.

"Three on a newbie? Pathetic!"

Out of nowhere we then heard a voice.

Much to my relief.

"HUH??!!" went the baldy, frantic and scanning to the side from where the voice came.

How dare someone intrudes their bullying.

As we all followed the voice, beneath the shade of the blossoming tree by the side of the road, just besides the three goons.

There I saw her for the first, tall and dark her features- well hid under the shade of the tree, it was her hat that really makes her 'her', long and wizardry, wizardly large and magically huge and bizarre.

A witch was all I could think of, blueish purple wizardry hat of the long pointy design hiding her face, a knockoff of Gandalf's.

She was likely sitting and leaning her back on the trunk of the shady tree.

"Don't HUH? me cue ball!" she retorted with not even a glance to the baldy who was standing a pitiful menace to a newbie.

She might've had more fiercer fire in them words, or as my ears deducted.

Angry veins rooting round his shiny bald head, he wasted no time in taking an angrier step.

Getting closer to the tree, closer to the witch as the other two looked on with sniveling grins in their faces.

Was it nervousness or were I in the mood of being in fear because the witch sounded ill tempered, much more frightful than these three.

I observed all the moment, the witch seemed unbothered by the approaching baldy.

This was when I felt a slight uneasiness from the gusts of winds that swooshed a pushing force upon the Fall and the road above, the witch tilted up her giant hat a little and I figured it was her cue for preparing herself to strike.

"WHO THE FUC-" throated the baldy angrily moving ever-so closer until his grueling teeth were rudely cut off.

"Heads up cue ball!" she voiced, antagonizing more whilst interrupting the baldy.

With a small tap on the ground with what I presumed was a staff, she lets out little specks of purple colored mana inside a tall faintly visible slender cylindrical field surrounding her hat which dwarfed the blossoming tree besides her, "Ugh! Whatever…" she lazily curses.

"That is aura! And and mana!! S-so COOL!!!" with fear being substituted by gleaming eyes-, I exclaimed at the magnificent sight of which I had read and saw many a times. I need not gulped spoilers but hints and details and facts were too important to pass on.

All eyes were on her aura as she with a grim vexing tone lazily bids, "Buh-bye Dillweeds!"

Not a moment after, my untrained eyes of blue couldn't behold what I saw even if I did see, there simply wasn't enough time to comprehend the scene.

A meteor?

Whatever it was it crashes right at the two stooges who stood behind. With no apparent warning, an instant demise.

Leaving nothing but dusts and a fuck-ton of unearthed chunks of soil and rocks fucking about everywhere like an unearthly eruption, even though the witch was in close proximity to the area all the noises and chunks missed her slender physique as she stood grabbing her magically large hat.

Then in the noise were little digital specks of blue pixels vanishing in the air as the bald comrade looked upon the scene in horror-, a scene which pixelated his two friends.

As dusts scattered the baldy yelped with shaking noodle legs.

Right in front of His Baldness's head-, we saw strays of burning fire, charred cracked grounds-, with a small crater and in the epicentre with a murderous hue of blood red and dark-black mana was a grunting demon, lying hurt and missing a scaly arm from what my eyes could see from down the Fall.

A little longer chapter.

Sorry if it was boring but I've tried my best.

Oh! And guys, IT be swell for some feedbacks, I am very easily influenced so try me, I am a treat.

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