It’s not what it looks like

I gained consciousness the next morning covered in legs and arms trying to hold me close, and it made me smile, but I felt a small pressure on my chest which was out of place, and as I opened my eyes slowly I saw a togepi standing on my chest with a small jar of glue and a razor blade....

That's when I look around the room and see magnemite.....in the corner...looking to be having a panic attack…..

I got to clear some sleep out of my eyes with my right hand and I notice something...my eyes brows…..they're gone....and the little asshole responsible for this is frozen on my chest…..

I go to rub my mouth and notice I now have a moustache, that wasn't there before... I turn to look at a full length mirror I installed in my room for…..reasons... and I see what that little demon has done...he's shaved off my eyebrows and glued them onto my upper lip…..

I was wrong...he didn't learn a god dam thing...that little fucker….. he was planning his revenge….

He's still frozen with a look of "fuck I've been caught!!" And I slowly get out of bed as he jumps off the bed and backs off slowly with a nervous smile, holding up his little nubs he calls hands in a placating gesture as he has already thrown the glue and razor to the side…

I take a quick look out the window and see it's probably around noon, and I know I have the king and Kane coming over to discuss something soonish so I'm going to need to deal with this quickly…..

As I put on as peaceful as a smile as I could and slowly approach togepi…..I say in a calm manner

Gideon " it's ok buddy, just come here for a second...I just want to talk....just want….to...talk...….."

He knew I was lying, instantly he turned and ran as fast as his legless feet would take him, which was faster than you would expect..

As I took off in pursuit butt naked after this little asshole I nearly slipped on the way out the door but I managed to keep my balance as I made it out of the door frame in one piece.

Gideon " get back here you little wanker!!"

So I'm chasing after togepi as fast as I can...how is he so fast with no legs!!! He only has feet!!!

There are plenty of twists and turns and he's making panicked noises as we run, and I finally corner him near the entrance to the house..

Heh heh heh..... I don't even know what to do to punish this little shit, I'm actually bonded to the little creep and to be honest he's just like me...and I hate it, so hard to control…..

He's back into a corner shaking his head and waving his arms around trying to placate me somehow as I pick him up and hold him against the wall with one arm, I'm gonna slap him at least once, I don't have eyebrows anymore so he needs a slap…..

I know he's not actually that bad, he broke the maids leg by accident, he's not malicious by any means, he just likes to shit stir people….exactly like me….. and from a neutral standpoint this little prank of his would be hilarious, game respects game....still needs some punishment though….

And just as I had him pinned against the wall with my arm raised ready to slap him I hear I'm suddenly reminded I'm not we're not alone

*AHEM*

As me and togepi slowly turn our heads to see Logan leading 3 people who are looking straight at us with bewildered expression… the king, Kane and a woman, very elegant with light brown hair, green eyes, and a killer body...if I had to guess it would be the queen.... And this is my first impression...fantastic…..

Can't blame em though, a giant grown man had a baby togepi up against the wall ready to strike in the face, not to mention said man had a lack of eyebrows and a dick dangling for all to see....this would look terrible from the outside with perspective...

I suddenly hear a little laugh...from togepi …..I look at him and he looks at me with an evil little smirk...oh no…..this little cunts about to pour fuel on this dumpster fire of a situation….

Togepi is a lady killer for anyone who doesn't know him personally, so he turns to the new group puts on the biggest doughy eyes with slight tears hanging out of them and quivers his bottom lip as he trills "PIIIIIIII!!!" like a cry for help…..

And almost immediately the suspected queen rushes to us and shoved me out of the way with surprising strength and takes togepi out of my hand and holds him to her bosom while cooing and trying to soothe his fake tears…

Woman " there there little one, you're safe now…..he can't hurt you anymore, I'll make sure of it…..aren't you just the cutest little thing…"

Gideon " miss, I know this looks bad, but I can promise you, it isn't what it looks like!"

The woman makes a quick turn to me, with venom in her eyes and venom equaling that in her next statement.

Woman " so you weren't about to strike this innocent little angel in the face?, because that's what it looked like….."

Gideon "...…..ok...well yes that part was what it looked like…..but don't trust this little thug, he's manipulative and cunning, don't fall for his crocodile tears!….."

She looks at togepi who now looks like a perfect angel on the verge of crying…..and he buries his face in her chest and pretends to cry and trills his name...wow, that would be Oscar worthy….

She looks at me again with some more venom before she huffs and walks away telling togepi that she would deal with the "brute, aka me….and he was safe now….

And to rub salt on the wound as she walks away togepi peeks over her shoulder and laughs at me with an evil face...well played….

As the suspected queen walks back behind the other two guests which consist of Kane and the king who look confused at the whole thing, they suddenly snapped out of their stupor to begin our conversation…

Maximus " yes well... maybe you should put some clothes on and join us in the lounge room, we wanted to discuss a few things with you today, would it be alright if we ordered lunch while you prepared?"

Gideon " ah yeah, no problem, order what ever you want...I'll just duck up and have a quick shower before I get dressed and we can sort thing whole thing out….."

And as I finish my sentence while still very naked, my two little fuck buddies support each other as they come down the stairs, still bow legged from last nights stuffing, only to freeze...they were wearing comfy pjs they would have thrown on just to come down to eat.

Still had bed hair, sleep in their eyes, really looking like two wrecks, and that's how the king and suspected queen seen them, their faces went pale as they realised what they would look like, normally they wouldn't care, just get some food and go back to bed for awhile longer, but they were caught by royalty

And I would say they were caught off guard at me presenting myself to the royal family of which we "serve" butt naked.... This whole situation is a clusterfuck….. but they quickly tried to straighten their hair as they moved as fast as their bruised and battered bodies would allow to meet the king to not seem rude….

Cynthia " good morning your highness!!, so lovely to see you, I'm sorry for showing you such an unrefined side of myself and my attendant, I am truely embarrassed!"

And Maximus and Kane just seemed to smirk with a knowing smile, he knew these girls are just getting up from being railed all night, they show all the signs, and I say they would be no strangers to it…

Maximus " nonsense lady Blaine, you look as radiant as ever, me and my company just strolled up unannounced and I apologise for that….. please take your time, me and my guests will wait for you in the lounge room for you to prepare yourselves properly"

Cynthia looked relieved at that as she sends me a little glare...the fuck you looking at me like that for? I didn't organise this shit, I'm a victim too!!

So we said our temporary goodbyes as me Cynthia and Anna head upstairs for a quick shower and to come down and explain what's going on…

I know the king and Kane are interested in where I plan to set up my territory and want to help out where they can, they're pretty chill dudes actually, they come over to eat almost every day....and when they can't they send someone to pick up their lunch from here, and over the last few months we kinda hung and and became friends.

They came and hit the blunts and drank with me at least once a week, bitching about how shit their jobs are and family dramas, just Normal shit really just on a bigger scale.

But I think I know what they are here to talk about, I have my eyes on some territory that if I manage to lock it down could be a massive boon to the kingdom as well as an eyesore for some, so we are going to have to sort some stuff out before I dive into it….

But for now a quick shower and try and wash off some of my shame from earlier…..not to mention the pungent sex smell oozing off my body….so I drag my 2 little fuck buddies into the shower to get clean before I get into this whole thing that could decide wether I get super chill life in the future