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Pinch my cheeks, I'm the villainous AI

My name was Finn and I wrote... Stella and the celestial bodies! A wonderful novel I wrote to get girls. That was by far the dumbest thing I've ever thought of. Though that wasn't the whole truth. As that's what I told my friends who read the female oriented novel. Now however... Now I regret every version of the story. With my early death of slipping on a lego and falling off my balcony while live-streaming. So by far, my most embarrassing moment. To my surprise though time stopped just before I hit that ground and I heard a voice. It asked me if I wanted to be saved. Saying yes, I now say I regret my decision. ----- I don't own art obviously and its AI generated

ZeOwl · 科幻
分數不夠
25 Chs

Cause some chaos

I hung up the call. I had pulled some strings and got the chief of police to handle a situation for me. I had no doubts June would also some how end up on call to handle it though. However that was all part of a secondary plan. If they really did send only June, well she could handle it. When that happens, oh boy. I rubbed my hands together, now though I looked up at the coffee shop I was outside of. A crowd had formed outside of it and this led into my next steps.

I decided upon a complicated and very cliche method for engagement. I would be the heckler Main character who slaps the young master. I pumped myself up to be as much as a bastard as I could. I was outside the autographing event of Lee Suno and his band thing. I breathed in and walked by pausing to ask one of the blue uniformed guards.

"What in the world is this?" I asked in my most curious, but snobbish voice possible.

The guard looked around and pointed at himself. "Are you asking me?"

I scratched my head, "Well you are an officer aren't you?"

A big smile appeared on his face at the 'compliment'. I really didn't understand why some were ashamed at being guards. However he played it off, "I'm just a guard for the event. It's an autograph signing for fans of the boy band, generic boy band number one." He paused, "Most of the fans call it GBBN though."

Our conversation was getting the attention of few of the fans now. I needed to get more attention though for what I want. So I made a sound in disgust, "Ah, man. Those guys? They are awful, I can't stand any of there songs."

One of the fans spoke up, "Then why are you even here?"

I laughed and now even one of the people in the band looked over. "Do you see here we are, its a coffee shop. I get my coffee here. It's hilarious you are so easily manipulated by marketing tactics. You know they do the signing at places like theses to make the band seem more relatable. 20 Zeni says know one in the band even drinks coffee."

I already know they didn't. I saw a few fans looked at me like I was crazy and I saw at least two foaming at the mouth. One of which was the fan who spoke to me.

The guard rubbed his head. "Damn, you don't need to bury them."

I almost giggled at the guards remark, however the crowd seemed to shake up more. At first I thought it was because my near slip up at the guard. however as it turns out two of the band members walked over.

One was the one I wanted and the other was what I can only call the mom of the group from my research. His name was unknown to the public and he went by Kai. His real name though was Earl Thatcher. Makes sense why he wouldn't go by his real name.

"Hello there, we heard you causing a bit of a commotion and I can understand you may be a little annoyed if the place you get your coffee from is noisy. However can't we just talk it out quietly?"

He spoke in a sing song voice, it was almost enchanting actually. How was he not the main singer? I crossed my arms though and laughed. "Let me ask you this, how much did you hear and how much of my words can you dispute?"

Lee Suno scoffed, "We don't need to dispute anything." He pointed to the guard. "You why aren't you kicking him out of the area? He is making a disturbance."

I let out a hard laugh, "Because he can't? Is his looks the only thing that got him into your band? because he clearly isn't smart and he sure as hell can't sing."

Lee Suno's face reddened, Kai however nodded. "He is right about the guard, he can't kick this man out just for speaking. Sure he is being loud, but we are in a privately owned store. So unless he his kicked out by the owner of the establishment or causes trouble for the event directly it is his right to speak his mind."

I nodded, "If the rest of your band is as dumb as he is. You have your worked cut out for you."

Kai's stance shifted a little as he saw I was dead set on picking a fight. Lee though, Lee Suno was clearly not an intelligent man. "We are paid for our voices not our intelligence dumbass!"

After that sentence everyone froze in place as he continued. "Besides not like you can sing."

First he called him self stupid, now he really is setting up exactly what I wanted. My god, I know I ran an analyzes on this. This is just something else though. I laughed in his face, "How would you know? Just because one doesn't make a career of something doesn't mean they aren't good at it. Just like how some make careers of their poor skills."

I traced my eyes along his face and was fuming. However he tried to maintain a calm demeanor. I smirked, "In fact, isn't your sister the better sister of you two? Oh, but while you were old enough to live on your own. She was left with your uncle who only keeps her for the money he gets."

His face flushed of color and even Kai took a step back. I smiled, and took out a document I had prepared. Some of it was real, some of it forged. "You are being served with accomplice to child neglect as well as the forced prostitution of a minor."

After that a look of utter shock spread across everyone else's face. Lee Suno shook his head, "There must be some kind of mistake!"

Kai tried to back up his band mate in a round about way. "Sir, can I ask how you came to this conclusion?"

I tilted my head, and laughed. "Ah, Earl Thatcher, I can understand the concern for your friend. However I am not obliged to disclose an ongoing investigation. I will say he may be able to dispute the charges of of forcing his little sister to star in pornography and of acts of prostitution. However the neglect of said child is well. Guaranteed!"

My words slowly morphed at the end there. A crooked smiled and the emphasis of the word guaranteed seemed to shake Lee Suno to his core and he fell backwards. He only managed to not break his skull on the concrete because one of his fans caught in barely.

Kai sputtered, "You, you know my name?"

I looked at him tilting my head the other way in curiosity. "Did your friend just fall over? Why are you more concerned about your name. Does it not make sense I would investigate your band in case you knew anything about the abuse?"

He looked at his friend and the guard. He coughed, "I'm sorry everyone I think we are ending the signing here today." His other band mates scuttled over and grabbed Lee. The Guard broke form his own trance and began breaking the crowd up so the band could leave.

Before their managers and guards got them into their van. I knew the people that sponsored them would regret letting the band be so independent and responsible for themselves. I just smiled though and grabbed the shoulder of Kai. "I believed you should take the documents for your friend don't you think?"

He took the papers in a weak grip and just stumbled away in shock. I however was happy with myself. At first they thought of me of a harmless moth heckling them. That's when I flashbang'ed them and hit them with a bag of hammers. The only thing I think that would have been better is if I song as well using Lee Suno's voice. After all i had the capabilities, it would've have been good. however I think that would've lessened the impact of the flashbang I had made.

I could nearly laugh out loud. Though I felt if I did it would be maniacal and evil. Now, I smiled. It was time to handle a bit of corruption while proposing a deal to make it all go away. Jerry and Terry would now have the spotlight with everything they uncovered.

Oh man, this felt good. Like really good, and this was still just the first arc of my novel where the heroine, Stella, met all the love interests. I rolled up my sleeves, I was on a roll and I wasn't ending the party here.