Thou Are Merciful (1)

Date; January 1st, 2017. Marked the end of an era, and the end of my short miserable life.

BANG

BANG

the sound of the wooden mallet slamming down on the wide wooden desk echoed through my ears like drums. "For the murder of 2,739 men and women, and by the verdict of the jury. I herby deem you guilty of mass murder to the second degree. Amar Eros, your sentence is the death penalty, by the electric chair". The judge spoke coldly and bluntly.

As the guards assured me out of the courtroom, I couldn't help but look around to all those people giving me the coldest glares any human being can imagine. It was pure ecstasy to me, the feeling of their cold emotionless eyes being directed towards me felt so stimulating. I felt every hair on my body stand on edge, it was a marvelous experience.

I couldn't help but smile at the fact that these people who were 'Victims' of loss and suffering. Would soon be granted the sweet eye opening dismay of justice they all so eagerly await for. I felt it slip through my pursed lips as I smiled, a laugh began to form and echoed silently, slowly and gradually getting louder as I was pushed and shoved out the doors of the courtroom. "Hahahaha…HAHAHAHAHA". I hysterically, laughed aloud.

To me it felt like a genuine happy end to my new fulfilled existence. To others all they heard was the sound of a madman, and his sanity and morality long since been gone.

The time for my execution came, and oh what a fulfilling experience this would turn out to be. The performer giving his all for his adoring audience. I sat down in the chair with a full view of the many people who came to witness my send off to hell. One of the officers happily strapped me down tightly feeling the rough leather strap restraints burning and ripping at my wrist pealing some of my skin off, oh the blissful agonizing pain. "I hope you rot, you piece of shit". The officer spoke bluntly spitting in my face. I smiled and winked at him, wholeheartedly acknowledging his request. "I'll happily do so for you good sir~" I spoke playfully.

The officer scoffed and walked aside over to the corner of the wall. There was a lever there beside him awaiting to be pulled, but before it could one of the officers on the outside spoke through a microphone, and said "do you have any last word?" He asked mindfully. I looked on through the open sea of the many people, and slowly a smile began to creep across my face. I couldn't contain it anymore, the laughter began to come out uncontrollably, as I coughed and teared up just from how hard I laughed. The people looked at me with disgust and anger, their voices went from subtle whispers, to all out roars of anger. "You piece of shit!", "HURRY UP AND DIE ALREADY!!", "THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR MY SON"!!", "GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!!". Their words were like music to my ears constantly on repeat.

As soon as their banters began to fade away, only leaving the echoes of their anger to be heard, I spoke my last words to this world. "May my blood shed this white clean floor and give way to the anger, you all so helplessly bare. Let my death be the pinnacle of your joy and happiness, giving you righteous justice for you beloved's. Thou are merciful onlookers, but heed my plead, beware of my legacy. For THAT you all will see". I said gleefully with a wide smile. They all looked at me with horror and wonder, the officer shook his head out of pity and fear gesturing to his partner to pull the lever activating the chair.

BZZZ!

A sharp jolt of pain and a burning sensation overwhelmed my body and it's entirety. The burning began at my eyes than feet, to the tips of my fingers and to the ends of my hair. The sharp jolting feeling coursed throughout my entire body from my privates to my heart, every second that past by felt like an agonizing blissful eternity. My mind went blank still holding my smile happily laughing as the sensation of numbness took hold, my sight began to fade, as well as the deceleration of my heart beat slowly beginning to fade. My blood burning from within along with my cells. I coughed up blood, I vomited, and I even came a little, oh the sweet release of death beckoned me so, never in my heart did I regret what I did.

I felt it, my heart stopped, my blood ran cold, and my senses all faded away. Yes, I was truly and utterly dead. The feeling of death felt as if though I was underneath a vast open sea of pitch black water, there was no light, no sound, no feeling. Just the empty sense of nothingness taking hold of me. It felt amazing, despite not having a body anymore, my joy for death never left me, and it was the only thing that kept my mind off my last day back on earth.

Hours seem to pass by, no maybe weeks or possibly years since I entered this empty dark abysmal space, my joy soon began to turn into boredom as I felt not sense of motion nor enjoyment in being in one place all the time. But despite the borderline lack of activity, I enjoyed this empty place in time and space. It felt as if though I was drowning, in this endless pitch Black Sea. I only wished this darkness lasted forever, but not all things comes to those who beg and plead, do they. The sudden feeling of movement began to envelop me, I started to feel things, touch things, and see things within this pitch black empty space. And before I knew it, I saw a small dim light far, far above me. Despite everything, despite how I enjoyed it here in this darken place. I reached for the light with any sign of power I had over myself yet, forcibly making my subconscious bodiless astral hand reach for the now growing light. I laughed, simply at the thought of a second chance at life. I smiled though, just to see the look in many individuals faces to know that i was alive. However what I didn't know at the time, was where and when I'd end up at.

As the light began to overwhelm my entire being. I realized I could move, but only slightly, the sounds of mud splashed all around me. The awful smell of dead carcasses near me was strong, I began to enjoy it, inhaling this familiar scent that I've grown to love so much. Until finally the light that overwhelmed me, began to slowly dissipate and my vision became more and more clearer. In time the darken hazy clouded pitch black sky was all I could see above me, this was followed by the cracking of thunder and lightning, as the rain poured . Try as I might, I could only use my only sense at the time to get a glimpse as to what was going on. My vision is all I had going for me, but once more like a obstreperous child, I tried to move any part of my body.

And to my surprise, I could feel my hand beginning to raise above my head. But what had shocked me the most, is when I realized the shape and size of said hand. My finger tips and my palm were that of a infant child's, once more I raised the other hand, and was met with the same view. It would appear my hands….no, rather my body isn't that of an adult. Rather it's that of an infant child, but why?

Managing to use my new infant arms I wiggled and wobbled turning over to my right. But unfortunately as I did so, I fell face first into a mud puddle, luckily this puddle was clear enough for me to make out despite the darken area. In a mere glimpse of the cracking lighting that struck down, I managed to see my reflection in the puddle. I was indeed an infant, a new born at that given how young and weak I looked. From my fuzzy jet black hair, to my dark crimson colored eyes. It was clear that I wasn't who I thought I was anymore, as well as to where I was. Managing to lift my head with what little strength I had in this infant body I managed to take a look at my surroundings.

In those brief moments, I got to see where my current surroundings were and was. As the crackling sound of thunder and lighting struck, the light that carried of it, lit the area only for a couple of seconds for me to see what and where I was. To my surprise, what I first saw was the dead corpse of a woman, her long dark hair followed by the amor she wore, she had the same colored eyes as mine. I realized this woman, had a whole in her stomach. I used every ounce of my infant strength to crawl around her decaying body, to only be met with an umbilical cord attached to both me and the women restricting my movements from pressing forward.

It had dawned on me that this woman was none other than the carrier of my birth, my blood, my mother.