The day the assholes were reincarnated!: Assholes move in packs!

3:45 PM, 7/31/22

The birds were singing, the dogs were barking and the big ass/tits were trotting around giving a magnificent view.

Making a certain Venezuelan praise Yisus for such a view.

It was a perfect day with a decently strong sun, a perfect day to go out with friends, or do some outdoor activity.

Of course a certain group of misfits was not exempt from this...

- No way! - shouted one boy as he pulled hard on a pizza box.

- Drop it! - shouted another while pulling the opposite side - Fucking furry! -

- Carplex Do they always fight like this? - Ryukides asked while he had a bead of sweat on his forehead as he watched Kira and jGCurious fight over a pizza box.

- You have no idea," the dealer-faced guy replied with annoyance as he joined his partner am_Cloud in watching... a splendid sight.

Certainly the milfs are justice

Ryu rubbed his forehead as he watched with a bit of amusement as TheGuren-sama danced after eating some "special" snacks that Carplex had brought with him to the meeting.

- 'What was in those snacks?' - the boy wondered as he hesitated whether to take any of them out.

As his mind wandered Ryu thought he saw AyanamiTanya walking near the edge of a bridge that was close to where they were standing.

The trap seemed to be somewhat drunk from his gait, he looked like he would fall at any moment

Ryu felt what could be the onset of a headache as he made his way over there to pull the femboy away from the edge of the bridge

****************

Hours later

After the meeting (Which was deemed a success) Ryu could feel a smile form on his face.

It had been a real surprise how Kira and Carplex had worked so hard to get them to meet offline considering that most of them were from different countries.

Certainly, although talking to them through the chat was fun, she couldn't deny that being with them was even more fun.

Yes, it really had been a day....

- Hello -

satisfactory

Arriving home he could see almost all the members of the group standing outside with their suitcases.

Both Carplex and Kira had uncomfortable and somewhat embarrassed smiles on their faces.

They both made a concerted effort to avoid his strong gaze.

- ...What the hell are you doing here? - Taking the trusty broom as a possible anti-intruder weapon, the boy plucked up the courage to confront the pack of idiots.

After being pushed to the front by his partner Kira proceeded to explain

- Well, we might have forgotten to get a hotel room, could you leave -

- No - A cold and merciless answer escaped from the boy's mouth.

The furro seemed to deflate at the boy's negative response, Carplex patted Kira's shoulder and whispered closely "Easy I'll take care of it".

- Please! - Without showing a hint of embarrassment the Admin bowed, leaving everyone's mouth agape.

Curious and Edu didn't miss the opportunity and took pictures to add to their blackmail album.

Surely it would be useful in the future, they both thought.

.....

After a few hours of convincing Ryu (who was happy that there was no one at home) was able to temporarily accommodate all the members of the group.

- PIJAMADA! - shouted Guren as he shamelessly threw himself on Ryu's comfortable bed making the boy's eyebrows twitch with annoyance.

- I brought the bitches," said Edu as he opened the door and a bunch of women came in.

- I brought the party - Curious said as a bunch of people followed him in.

- What the hell do you want to do to my house?! - shouted Ryu with growing anger but from the looks of it no one cared.

If seeing Carplex bring in several bags with a certain "white powder" was any indication.

In the near distance Kira and Tanya could be seen bartending as they flirted with some girls at the makeshift bar they had built.

Elsewhere Edu and a group of women could be seen entering Ryu's parents' room.

It was official, he definitely wants to kill these fuckers.

...

Unaware of the danger that awaited them the group of assholes continued to party.

As three large vehicles pulled up to the entrance of the house.

- Are you sure this is the place, boss? - asked a bearded and armed man who had stepped out of one of the vehicles.

- Yes, intelligence has informed us that those bastards are here," said the man as he watched in disgust as Guren and Dani did a breakdance competition in their underwear.

- Boss, can we kill them? - asked the bearded man as he and his team felt like gouging their eyes out.

- Don't leave a single one of them standing," said the boss as he looked at Carplex disrobing, - Show no mercy. -

As he advanced, yellow letters could be glimpsed on the man's back.

A very familiar to many... FBI

.....

The party stopped in a single instant when a loud noise whipped everyone's ears.

Bang *Bang *Bang

Quickly the bodies of Guren and Dani were seen falling lifelessly.

A small bleeding hole opened up in their bodies.

- AHHHHH! - The screams were not long in coming and everyone started to run away.

Ryu panicked and approached Kira and Tanya trying to take refuge behind the "bar".

- Shit - muttered the furry as he stealthily rushed to a garage and opened it releasing the gas into the room.

- What the hell are you doing! - shouted both Ryu and Tanya at the sight of such stupidity.

- No time to explain! - He commented as he tried to cover them.

Quickly reaching the door he pushed them both out with a kick in the ass and went back inside the house.

Grabbing a nearby kitchen knife, the furry prepared to perform an ambush as the gas spread through the room, if he went.... At least if he wanted to make sure there would be an epic explosion as a farewell to himself.

.....

Hearing the sounds of gunshots both Curious and Carplex gathered, they quickly went to warn the others they had to leave the place quickly

Entering the room where Edu, Eber and Zek were supposed to be.

It was horrible to see how the girls they had entered with had actually drugged them to steal their organs.

It was disturbing to see how they extracted their organs without a hint of pity and passed them to a conservator to transport them and sell them to the highest bidder.

Curious slowly closed the door and pulled Carplex by the arm as they jumped out of the window.

- Hey! - Curious felt a shiver run down his spine as he watched a huge bearded man follow them as he pointed his gun at them.

Carplex helped his friend duck in time as he narrowly dodged a direct hit from one bullet but couldn't stop another one from hitting him in the shoulder.

They ran hard but Curious stumbled and fell.

- Where are you going you procastinating son of a bitch?! - shouted the boy as he watched his friend continue running without daring to stop and help him.

- I'm sorry! - shouted Carplex as he increased the speed at which he ran leaving his friend behind.

- I'll get you for this, asshole' - thought the boy in a macho voice as he struggled to his feet.

A little exhausted, he leaned for a few moments on a nearby garbage truck.

Unfortunately for him a single moment was enough for the bearded guy to catch up with him.

- End of the game boy, where is the merchandise? - he asked as he gave him a look that screamed at him that he wasn't playing around.

- ...What the fuck are you talking about? - Said the Mexican as he looked at him with confusion

- So you don't want to talk, huh? -

(KW: Well Curious, you already know how this ended)

.....

Kira moved as fast as he could, although his strength was lousy at least he could still move at a decent speed.

Taking advantage of the confusion she plunged her knife into the stomach of one of the armed men.

Even if he was going to die for the stupid thing he and Carplex had done he would at least take one of these bastards with him!

- Kill him! - shouted one of them after seeing the furry stabbing his partner.

*BANG *BANG *BANG *BANG

Accompanied by the sound of the bullets with a somewhat heavy sound the now lifeless body of Kira fell to the ground.

While a gas explosion consumed much of the house.

...

Tanya and Ryu kept running like crazy at all costs.

They were terribly scared

Ryu in particular could not understand what had gone wrong?

A little tired they both stopped when they reached the middle of the bridge they had passed earlier in the day.

- Where are they?! -

Hearing that loud voice both Tanya and Ryu froze.

Their bodies trembled as they watched a large dark skinned man approach where they stood

As Ryu panicked Tanya who seemed to have given up hope began to approach the edge of the bridge.

Looking from there she could clearly see the train tracks and a loud sound that gave away the proximity of one.

- What the hell are you doing! - Ryu shouted without caring about the volume of his voice as he saw how the trap was one step away from falling.

Tanya looked into Ryu's eyes, the resolution in them stunned the boy.

- It's obvious that that Berserker truant has no good intentions - She said as her body started to lean preparing to launch - If I die, I'll do it on my own terms -

- Asshole! -

- There they are! -

Accompanied by Ryu's scream.

Tanya's body started to fall until her leg was grabbed by the guy while she was trying her best to hold him and prevent her fall

- Finally, you guys are soooo sneaky - Said the man with a creepy grin

Both Ryu and Tanya felt the real terror as they noticed how the guy licked his lips while looking at their bodies.

The two guys looked at each other before nodding and Ryu let Tanya's weight drag him down pulling them both down.

Coincidentally at that very moment the train arrived hitting both their bodies.

- A pity, I really wanted to "interrogate them" - The man complained as he thought it was a waste that such cute boys died that way.

...

As he slumped wearily to the ground the boy remembered how they all died.

And from the street Carplex lamented at the death of his friends.

But he couldn't help but feel the joy of having survived the shooting and successfully escaped.

He felt invincible

- Look at me world! - He shouted like a madman as he stood up without caring if he received a strange look from some guy passing by on the sidewalks - I'm immortal! -

*Honk

Moving to the side the asshole narrowly avoided a truck that had run into him.

- No way Truck-kun - said the boy while gloating about having dodged death like a champion.

- What do you mean? - Soon a voice similar to Optimus Prime's was heard - To him, guys! -

Carplex opened his eyes in terror as he watched as he was now surrounded by trucks.

- Destroy him! -

- I'LL TAKE THE- ! - Without even finishing his curse the life of the last member of the group was taken.

Leaving a red, stinking stain on the street as all the trucks vanished.

***********************************

- ...SLAP! - Not forgetting to finish his previous curse

Carplex screamed at the top of his lungs, waking up his friends, who were scattered on the floor.

- Damn it Carplex, could you at least turn it down a bit? - Kira said as she felt as if her head was about to burst.

Ryu and Tanya looked around in shock at the black room they were in and the incredible...

- It's a reincarnated cliche! - shouted Guren as he got up at full speed and ran forward, unintentionally stepping on Curious and Edu.

- Ugh! -

- Son of a bitch -

Paying no more attention to the poor victims, Guren saw with glowing eyes a machine with several colorful buttons on it.

- Buttons! -

- Catch him! - shouted Ryu, while at an incredible speed Zek knocked Guren down.

- Hateful! - Said Guren as he reached out his hand and managed to touch a button.

[He selected the Reincarnation option]

[The Transmigration and Gamer System options are discarded]

The robotic voice left everyone speechless, soon the group stood up and gathered together.

Zek and Edu were in charge of holding Guren (after giving him a mega beating) while they tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.

- Fucking asshole, I wanted my own gamer system.... - Curious muttered as he looked somewhat annoyed at Guren.

[Select your main character and world]

The robotic voice was heard once again buttons appeared with glowing reds with a word written on a small sign

Gacha of worlds and gacha of characters.

Quickly everyone panicked, they knew that the only one of the group with a pretty good luck among them was Curious, therefore the reasonable option would be to let him press the buttons.

- GACHA! -

- But what?! - Curious was surprised to see that in the small instant he was distracted Kira and Carplex jumped like hungry beasts on the glowing buttons - Stop the furry! -

To his good fortune Carplex seemed to agree with his thoughts.

- No Kira, no! - He shouted as he tried to stop him - 'I won't let this son of a bitch take away my chance to become OP and handsome!' - thought the Venezuelan.

- YES, KIRA YES! - Ignoring everyone's desperate cries Kira triggered the gacha without blinking - 'The millionth time is the charm!' - thought the furro while trusting that his luck would change.

- NOOOOOOO! - Everyone in the group shouted in unison as they prepared to mother the gacha addict.

When at that very moment the voice rang out once again saving the boy

[Selection has been successful]

[History-worlds selected]

[System Gacha Multiverse

Innovate Clear

Gamer Slayer

A Player's Guide to Conquest

Reincarnated in Harry Potter Whit a Third-Party System....]

- WHAT?! - A shrill shout was heard as everyone was shocked.

Truly... They were screwed if they ended up in their story worlds!

They might look simple and nice but only they knew how much darkness was in them and worse yet, nothing guaranteed that the world wouldn't carry their discarded ideas making it even more terrifying to think of what awaited them!

[Characters gained:

Merlin Gaunt (Ryukides)

Kuro Tepez (Curious)

Thomas Gray (Kira)

Zack Fair (Edu)

Kurosaki Yuu (Carplex)

Suzuki Ryu (Tanya)...]

Everyone's eyebrows twitched as Kira tried to seize the opportunity to flee when.

- ARGG - They all fell to the ground in a great pain that spread rapidly through their bodies.

Soon their sights blurred and their consciousness seemed to fade away as they fell into a deep sleep.

************************

In the ancient times several million years after the big bang and the birth of the first gods

A new god was born

This god carried the concept of imagination, knowledge and knowledge along with all that it entailed.

His name was History

Eventually History ended up gaining a deep affection for mankind as he saw their attempts to progress and become better and better, even granting them the gift of knowledge.

But what he never expected was that this gift after several generations would mutate and create a special one... The benefit of the author

Although at the time both he and the other gods did not come to see it as something bad

Those who stood out among others for their ability to imagine and create were especially able to use it with an excellent fluency.

Even if in their original worlds they were simple writers, using the benefit of the author as a connection to History they began to suck their divine power and with that power countless worlds, universes, multiverses and realities were created.

The gods marveled at the beauty created by the human imagination.

Although it was not all necessarily a good thing...

The author's profit became stronger

The more attention the works received

The greater the chances that their stories would become a new reality.

But the problem was that there was no discrimination in the kind of attention they received.

Thus was born the real terror, many gods died or went mad just being in the presence of these beings.

Creating a negative counterpart

Releasing monsters and dark protagonists in many realities.

Thousands of worlds were destroyed and several gods who tried to stop them died or were enslaved by them.

Finally History got fed up and decided to create his own army.

He would repair the mistake he had made, but he felt it was unfair to take away the gift he had given to humanity.

So he opted for another way, he would turn a random group of authors into his mercenaries who would be in charge of eliminating those "dark beings" even if they had to destroy the worlds they inhabited.

And as an extra for them, having created so much pain and suffering, he decided that as a form of punishment he would also turn them into his own protagonists.

For what reason? So that they could have a taste of what it feels like to be at the mercy of the whims of a random asshole.

Since now he is the Author and they are his "puppets" (Protagonist).

************************

Back with the assholes

Hours later...

Curious slowly lifted his aching body...

- 'Fucking Kira, now what the fuck did you do to me' - wondered the boy but he couldn't help noticing that something felt different about him?

- Ahh damn it I haven't felt like this since the last time I had a date.

Curious was surprised to see a strange guy with spiky hair wearing the exact same clothes as Edu.

Quickly Curious looked down at his own hands to confirm

Extremely white skin bordering on sickly

- 'Oh shit!' - He turned his gaze to the guy with spiky hair and asked for confirmation - Starving? -

The man let out a small groan as he stood up.

- Guh... I'm Mr. Skeleton premium for you, babyface -

- To the chile, if it is the eduardo - Curious said.

- ...Jorge Do you want a kick in the ass? I told you it's Edward Why does everyone think my name is Eduardo? - He complained as he went over to give him a well-deserved kick in the ass.

- Ah it's just that before you had a face more for an "Eduardo" than for "Edward" - Said the now vampirized Mexican.

- And now? - Edu asked while striking a pose as if holding a sword.

- Now you look like my math teacher," replied the boy as he wiped the wax from his ears with his little finger.

- ...I didn't want to go to these extremes, but you're crying out for me to kick your ass, Jorge -

.....

- ... Who the fuck are you? - Ryu asked as he stared at the trap in front of him.

- I could ask you the same question - Said the other guy, he had a healthy white skin, bright blue eyes and blackish hair with some bluish touches.

- Tanya? - asked the other with some hesitation.

- No, the neighbor, of course I'm the one and only! -

- Yeah, well it was either you or it was Kira - Ryu said downplaying the trap as he went to see if this situation had been repeated with the others.

Meanwhile the trap now identified as Tanya stood there petrified with a somewhat amused expression.

- M-Me, did you just compare me to Kira?! -

His furious shout was worth 80kg of shit to Ryu, who only concentrated on seeing who was who.

....

- Son... of a... bitch - Carplex muttered as he stood up in pain - Huh? Why is everything dark -

Panicking Carplex noticed how he couldn't see anything, he could feel his eyes open but no matter how much he opened or closed them everything was still dark.

- Did I get hit by a fucking truck? -

Hearing that voice nearby Carplex moved as he tried to get closer to her.

- Ouch! - Shouted the voice as the boy felt like he had stepped on something - Can't you see where the fuck you're going, asshole?! -

- No, I'm blind! Damn it! - Carplex said as he felt like crying. He hadn't even gotten to see his first boob in real life and he'd already ended up blind! Was there anything worse than that?!

- '...Okay, this is awkward' - Kira thought as he didn't dare to look at the boy in front of him.

Soon an awkward silence spread until another boy arrived.

He had stark white hair and quite dark eyes.

- Let me guess. You're Kira aren't you? - said Ryu while pointing at the guy with black and white hair.

- ... What gave me away? - asked the now bicolor

- Kira's the only asshole who thinks having more than one color hair would be awesome and Carplex is random enough to make a blind prota - Said the white-haired guy with a cold and analytical voice.

- HEY! - shouted both assholes

It was true... But that didn't mean they couldn't be offended!

- At least I didn't go for the most incredibly generic, white-haired edgy sir! - Kira shouted, trying to defend her tastes.

- Yes, it's generic! - shouted Carplex as he stared into nothingness.

Ryu and Kira looked at each other for a few short seconds before shouting

- You don't talk mister good eyesight! -

- Why are they like that?! - Carplex shouted a bit irritated - Why don't you consider my feelings?! -

- Who the hell cares about your feelings?! - Said Kira

- What Kira said! -

- Damn it - Carplex muttered as he got into a fetal position - I'm the fucking Admin you guys are supposed to respect me, fear me and worship me -

Soon the others arrived and several looked at Carplex who was muttering on the floor things like "Where's the respect I deserve?" Or other crap like "I am the Admin.... They should worship me as their God!"

- Okay, better not tell me I don't even want to know - Curious said while wisely pushing the admin away very slowly using his foot.

- A talking porcupine?! - Kira said as she pointed at the spiky-haired guy.

- ...This just got personal - Edu said while making a scary face

Without realizing it, a sword appeared in his hands.

Kira panicked at the sight of the weapon, she looked around for something that could help him escape from the spiky-haired guy and luckily (or unluckily) her eyes landed on Ryu.

- Ryu I choose you! - shouted the furro as he grabbed the white fur and put him in front of him - Use human shield! -

- Let go of me you crazy bastard! - Ryu shouted as he shook and kicked the asshole who wanted to use him as a human shield - I'M NOT JANUS FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER WHO GOT YOU! -

- Guh... All Guh-is-for-the-good.... Guh major - Kira answered while receiving a few kicks from a very boisterous albino.

- Hey! -

Fortunately for Ryu who was about to be pierced by Edu's sword, a small, squeaky voice was heard.

Everyone looked around for where it was coming from.

- Why did they get so tall? - asked a boy of apparently 5 years old, with dull black hair and honey-colored eyes.

....

The assholes could not help but stop in their tracks, you could see at a glance the inhuman effort on Edu's face to contain the laughter that tried to escape his mouth.

While others couldn't hold anything in, like Kira, who like an idiot, laughed like crazy to his heart's content while rolling on the floor without the slightest hint of embarrassment.

- What are you laughing at, you morons? - Carplex asked as he waved his hands in the air in the opposite direction of where everyone was standing.

Originally Curious had wanted to give Carplex a "telling off" or two for leaving him to his fate but now... he just didn't feel like it.

- Who screwed up Carlos' eyes? - Curious asked as he looked at Mr. Good Eyesight.

- ... Jorge? - Zek asked as he looked at the pale boy with a handsome face, he really had a hard time putting his image together with the guy with a forty-year-old voice and an aura of an old lady scarer.

- Yes I am -

- Woah... from old lady scarer to daddy? Quite a transition if you ask me - Zek said as he regretted having ended up with a childish body.

After all, who the fuck wanted to go back to being a kid?!

- Fuck your mother, you shota asshole!

- Why are you all so mean? Tell me what you're laughing at! Your admin demands it! - Carplex shouted once again as he had unknowingly arrived in front of the machine.

- Get him out of there! - Shouted Curious in panic, if Guren and Kira had already screwed him up he didn't even want to imagine what would happen if Carplex touched him!

Being the eternal lord of the smokes he didn't even want to imagine what would happen.

- Remove who from where? - asked Carplex, who had inadvertently ended up pressing a glowing green button.

- CARPLEX YOU SON OF A BITCH! - shouted Curious as they were enveloped in a trail of light along with some final words from the robotic voice.

[Starting tutorial mode... Good luck rookies]

- See you later Carplex - Said Tanya as she faded into blue particles.

- Yeah, see you later... Hey!" shouted the blind man as he realized the obvious mockery hidden in Tanya's words.

Before Carplex could comment any further, they all vanished as if they had never been there.

*****

[Initiating Crossover World "Dragon Ball System in Gotoubun, DxD, To Love Ru"]

(KW: Yes, assholes will attack fanfics Careful XD!!!)

[The hunters are informed that they must be cautious, the will of the world will try its best to prevent them from killing their protagonist]

[Mission: Eliminate the reincarnated Michael Uesugi]

[Rewards:

Gacha Shot X1 (For all participants).

Unlocking the System Chat Group

Training Room]

Seeing the report everyone was dumbfounded Were they supposed to kill a child?

Mainly Ryu and some others with more or less stable morals felt that it was something disgusting.

- Why aren't there better rewards? - Curious asked when he saw the information given.

[Reporting to Hunter 003, codename Curious

This target is estimated to be of a very low category but with a fast progression, therefore taking into account the skills your group currently possesses you have been tasked with its elimination, so the rewards for your task have been adjusted based on difficulty]

- Damn - Guren frowned as he cleaned his dusty clothes - This is definitely bad customer service - The boy commented lamenting that he was practically a civilian with no powers.

While he had no complaints with the system itself, he definitely wanted to say a thing or two about the treatment.

Being thrown out of nowhere into a dusty alley was definitely not a satisfactory way to show up in a world.

Well, it's not like I could do anything

Kira looked around in surprise. What had happened to the others? He was sure that there were at least 25 people in the black room.

Why were there only nine now?!

- Where are the others? And could you give us more information about our target? - I asked while trying to hide that I wasn't panicking.

[Reporting to 007 Kira Wolf

Due to the large number of people the boss has dictated that you separate into groups, with you being the first group.

The reincarnate has taken over the race of cold demons, a race with a potential for growth and enormous cruelty, according to the higher ups this being must be annihilated as soon as possible before it begins to look for ways to leave this world]

- I hope it is a system user.... - Said Edu while looking with a smile at the state destroying sword.

- And what the hell does your toothpick do Eduardo? - Curious asked as he leafed through a grimoire that had appeared in his hands.

- This "toothpick" as you call it could make you become my bitch, all in less than two seconds - Edu said with a smirk.

.....

- Arg - Hearing a loud groan they saw Carplex fall to the ground as he writhed and held his head.

The expression on his face was painful to the max.

Guren and some others acted fast and hid behind Ryu not missing the opportunity to save themselves by using the Edgy as a human shield... again...

- Shall we help him? - Ryu asked while poking him with a stick, his expression couldn't help but give away how much fun it was to poke the admin

...At least while he was trying to ignore the bastards on his back.

- Nah, let him hold on, let's see if he becomes more of a man - Edu said as he polished his sword without any concern.

....

After a few minutes Kira, who had disappeared in who knows what moment, returned bringing with him a super market cart.

- Really? - Ryu asked while raising his eyebrows - All you had to do was look for a fucking vehicle or something to transport us and take Carplex, but you don't even do that right, typical of a furry -

- Try to steal a van or a car, it's so fucking complicated - Kira said before pointing at Carplex who was writhing like a worm on the ground while slowly some of his hair started to turn white - Who's carrying him? -

Quickly everyone looked away as Kira sighed before picking up the admin's body and throwing it on the supermarket cart - Typical leave all the work to the furry, next time it's Ryu's turn - Said the furro as the others got up and started to get ready to search for the target.

...

- So this guy we have to kill - Curious said looking at the pictures of a 12 year old boy with dyed red hair - Meh, he looks stupid -

- Well, at least if all else fails we can still use Ryu as a human shield," said Guren.

The face of the named one became expressionless as he felt annoyed.

- My house first... - Ryu pronounced with an expressionless face - Then they screw up my reincarnation... - He continued as Guren and Kira let out a small "It wasn't my fault" - And they're still using me as a fucking human shield?! -

- Yeah, we're just a barbaric thing - Kira said as she pointed at everyone.

- ...I hate you guys -

Ignoring the growing anger of their partner the assholes managed to catch sight of a group of kids passing by the park.

- My princess senses are tingling - Said a now awakened Carplex as he looked at one kid in particular, one of the older princes

Yuuki Rito

And coincidentally next to him were Uesugi Fuutarou and the reincarnated Michael.

- Who wants to strike the first blow - He asked while using his Dark Energy to form a hammer.

- ...And what the hell is that? - Carplex asked when he saw the black hammer in the hands of the fury.

- This my dear friend... The brain-muncher! -

- ...I'm not even going to ask how you came up with such a shitty name," said Carplex as he averted his gaze and focused on his target.

(KW: The we stopped being blind by activating his SG, he created a blindfold to help him see.)

- Well, let's get to work - Curious said as he stopped repressing the aura of death that had begun to surround him since he took the grimoire.

.....

Uesugi Michael was preparing for his trip to Kyoto.

But before leaving Fuutarou had convinced him to go and play with Rito for a while before leaving as he felt a bit bad for leaving him just like that, knowing that the boy would be bullied by the local thugs as soon as they left.

*Pluff

The boy's eyes widened in surprise as he watched his friend and his twin fall out of nowhere to the ground with tranquilizer darts stuck neatly in their necks.

Shocked he turned his gaze to see the ridiculous scene of a blindfolded white haired boy using a dart rifle.

- Who are you, you fucking insect? - Without holding back or feeling a twinge of pity Michael's face contorted in pure rage.

How dare a scum try to bother him on his playtime, and he still had the nerve to blindfold himself and pretend to be blind, this was definitely touching a sore spot in his pride.

Which, as a cold demon, he couldn't afford to do.

- Useless scum - Gathering energy in his fingertips for what he thought was a perfectly normal human, Michael prepared to give a painful trip to hell to a style that certainly lived up to what would be expected of someone of his race.

But after thinking a little better, Michael decided he'd better beat this sucker up, this little shit didn't deserve the pleasure of making him use his energy and he wouldn't indulge him either.

(KW: I would put Ki but it gives me lazy)

Michael flew quickly towards the bandaged ripo, he was ready to turn him into a meat pulp.

But something was bothering him

- 'Why is this insect smiling?' -

The smile on the boy's face was disturbing, it looked as if he had... fallen... completely... into its trap.

Damn it!

But unfortunately for him, it was too late to escape when Kira, who had a gigantic hammer, hit him directly on the head.

- ...Damnation - He quickly lost control of the jolt that the exaggerated hammer had given him.

Before his cloudy eyes appeared two more boys, one had a book similar to a grimoire that a magician would use and the other carried a sword that made his body tremble.

They both felt as if they were his total ruin.

- It's nothing personal... - Said the boy with the sword, running his hand through his spiky hair and slicking it back - If you curse anyone, it should be the asshole who created you.

*Shink

Like a hot knife plunged in butter the boy's sword cut cleanly through his hand.

Michael didn't have time to stiffen the pain when he heard the swordsman speak to his companion.

- It's your turn, Jorge -

The boy with the book only nodded, the evil look on his face and the aura of death that surrounded him made Michael feel that he was the grim reaper claiming his life as his own.

For the first time the boy felt fear since he had come to this world and the feeling honestly made him nauseous...

But... What could he do?

Michael watched as the boy's hand touched the exact spot where his hand had been cut off and soon the pain began to spread throughout his body in a hellishly overwhelming sensation...

- Y-You... You w-will pay - Squeezing his last strength Michael tried to sound as intimidating as he could be but due to his fear and current pathetic state it was impossible.

- I'm sorry, I don't think I can - Said the boy without caring in the least.

Soon all the warmth left his body completely.

His vitality had been consumed to dryness, and his remains were scattered like dust in the air.

Michael no longer existed...

.....

[Congratulations A-team, you have completed your mission successfully and swiftly, completely preventing the world from doing anything against you.]

The robotic voice echoed in everyone's heads as they all felt refreshed.

Carplex in particular having ended up in a pitiful state after his fusion with his Sacred Gear, felt that he could create a fucking megazord and still be relatively fine.

[You are advised to leave this world immediately, before your will considers attacking you.]

And with that message it all began...

- Shit, where should we go? - Kira asked as she looked around for any sign that the world was beginning its attack on them.

The adventure of a group of assholes instead of the different multiverses...

- Let's go to mine! - shouted Tanya

And after a short moment of hesitation they all agreed to go to the femboy's world.

[Starting world "I have a dimensional chat"]

- Yay~! - Along with Tanya's excited shout, the assholes disappeared from the world.

...And they couldn't have been luckier, because right after they disappeared, a thunderstorm started and more than 10 lightning bolts struck where they used to be.

Then a big hurricane started and finally there was an earthquake that almost completely wiped out Kuoh.

...

Back to the assholes

- Touch anything and I swear I will surgically castrate you with a spoon - Tanya said with a smile as she led the assholes into her house.

Yeah, I wasn't doing the same as Ryu by letting them run around with no limits.

Who knew if what happened before would happen again? Yeah, no thanks, I definitely didn't want to be followed by a fatty with questionable taste in traps.

One jGCurious is more than enough.

- So what's for lunch? - Zek asked as he went and sat down quietly in a chair.

[Systems in process of activation, system users are advised to get in comfortable places]

Instantly Kira and Curious fainted while Tanya and Carplex were feeling a pretty bad headache.

After all having their systems forcibly activated and merged with their current new system was not a pleasant feeling.

- Quick, let's check their wallets," said Guren pointing to Kira and Carplex while whispering in Ryu's ear.

- Great, free money - Said Edu as he went over to take out the wallets.

- Ah Edu beat us - Ryu said with a somewhat disappointed face.

- Damn you! -

....

The days went by and the assholes were trying to get used to their new bodies a little bit more.

In a few words... The assholes went out to try to pick up hot girls and milfs (Carplex, Guren, Edu and Zek).

While others tried to get into the underworld business (Kira, Curious, Necro and Ryu).

In the end, the only one who remained happy in his laziness was Tanya...

A very normal week for this super powerful team of assholes.

Well, not counting when Tanya's loli sister came to visit and found him having a drinking contest but that's a story for another day.

As always, not all good things are meant to last forever.

...

[Emergency mission:

008 AyanamiTanya, an intruder has been detected trying to force his way into your home world, estimated arrival in specifically two hours]

[Objective 01: Eliminate the intruder

Objective 02: Totally destroy his army and allies.

Objective 03: Torture him mercilessly].

At that precise moment, Tanya spat a large spurt of coffee on Kira as she was shocked.

- HOLY SHIT IT'S HOT! - shouted the furry while writhing around.

- You guys just saw it.... Ah right Carplex is blind - Said Tanya remembering that Carplex was now blinder than a guy falling in love with a feminist.

- Hey - Carplex shouted - I may not be able to see you with my eyes, but that doesn't mean I can't hear you you damn femboy! -

- Yeah yeah, and nobody cares about you - Said Curious as he focused on the mission ignoring the "Orangutan motherfucker" the blind man had blurted out - What are the rewards? And how the fuck is Kira already healed?

- Regeneration bitch, Hahahaha behold the immortal furry! -

Ignoring Kira's delusions, the system sent the message with the information about the rewards and the new target

[Rewards: Unlocking the status function

Drain Touch

Premium Gacha Shots X2

Random reward X1]

[Name: Yun Che

Golden Finger: NTR Cultivation System

Characteristics: He is a reincarnate that already dominated his world and is in search of new worlds to conquer, unfortunately... for him, he stumbled upon this world that puts a lot of resistance to his entrance, the intruder's goal is to dominate the different variations of DxD World and have the largest harem in existence.

Tip: Hunter Ayanami is advised to be careful with him, this pervert seems to have a particular fixation for femboys].

- I want the body of that son of a bitch - Curious said with a smile, needless to say that everyone immediately moved away from him while giving him suspicious and disappointed looks.

- Jorge... Not that I'm judging you or anything but could you be less... disgusting? - Said Tanya as she hid behind Ryu.

- Why don't you say anything to him? So unfair! - shouted Guren while pointing at the edgy guy.

- Tanya does pay me," Ryu said as the femboy passed him a wad of bills.

- Damn, I can't fight that - Guren muttered as he sulked in a corner.

- Fuck your mother you fucking femboy who likes to get fucked from behind! - Shouted Curious as he stood up suddenly - I just want to take the bastard's body and turn him into a fucking zombie slave -

- Makes sense... I call for the treasures! - Said Edu without missing the opportunity

- Hey, that's not fair... I call Jasmine! - Said Carplex and everyone gave him funny looks - Redheads are justice -

- What about me? - asked Zek but he regretted it when he saw the smiles on Kira and Edu's faces.

- Like all good obedient children, you should go to school young man - Necro said and before he could get away Edu held him down.

- Let go of me you pervert! - shouted Zek unable to resist.

- Take it easy, here's your uniform! - Said Kira while she was changing him at an insane speed - 3... 2... 1 Ready! -

- Pffff -

- Hahahahahaha -

With a multitude of crazed laughter Zek left for the pre-school with a dejected look on his face.

**********************************************************************

I have the permission of all the above mentioned to name them and use them in this story.

Below is what the synopsis would be if this one-shot becomes one of my stories

Coincidences don't exist...

Or at least that's what they say. After an unfortunate accident in their first group meeting off-line, a certain "dysfunctional" group ends up dying....

But that is not the end of them.

What will become of them now that they must relive their characters' lives in the flesh?

Kira: Nmms, how the hell did it come to this?!

jGCurious: Stop being a sucker and get the fuck to work, you useless asshole!

Kira: Fuck you, you womanizer!

Carplex, AyanamiTanya and Ryukides: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

am_Cloud: The legend of the Milf Hunter starts here!

Kira and Curious: You wish talking skeleton!